A Little Princess
by Forfun100
Summary: Katniss really was having his baby when she went into the arena the second time, but he didn't know. After a shocking turn of events she ends up in the Capitol. Even worse she has no memory. Plain and simple summary good story awaits your eyes!
1. Chapter 1

There wasn't much time, the doctors were rushed to save both the lives of the Mockingjay and her child. Though her heart beat was steady, the ever pressing dread that it would suddenly stop was upon everyone present in her operating room.

She wasn't too bad off injury wise, but had taken quite a blow from the lightning. The electricity seemed to continuously course through her bruising veins.

She took a fall to the head on top of that, making the damage to her brain limitless. Hours upon hours passed by with the only consistent thing in her operating room being the steady beep of her heart raging on fighting to keep her alive.

Her skin was fresh and new, her heart stable, her baby healthy as can be. Her brain however, lay open being prodded by doctors trying to fix her. Trying to save her.

She laid so still, so silent, so… dead. As good as gone quite frankly. But no, they refuse to give up and leave her in this state of pure serenity.

Three teams surround her, one of nurses ready with towels and assorted surgery tools to hand off to the surgeons when needed. One of students observing the rare and intricate surgery. And then there were the doctors themselves.

They believed themselves to be close to godliness saving so many lives but now at this moment they were battling the devil and were no more than mortal themselves.

After a grueling sixteen hour surgery the head surgeon spoke up, "Call the president, tell him I'm on my way up" He took off his bloody gloves and ripped off his surgical gear. He tossed them in a waste bin in an almost rage like manner.

"Right away doctor" An eager and purple clad nurse picked up the phone.

Sixteen hours standing hunched over an operating table cutting delicately with precision and talent, yet he still took the stairs staying true to his favorite saying "I kill people daily might as well live a little."

When he reached the helicopter pad, Snow was stepping out of the helicopter. "You're late" Snow joked.

"Hello sir." He led Snow to the elevator where they were left alone.

"And how is our VIP doing?"

"Not well sir…" He hesitated to explain, "It seems that her brain was not in the best shape. I'm certain when she wakes… She will have no memory"

"None at all?"

"Yes sir" The elevator reached the ICU and the two walked towards her room. "I'd be surprised if she knew her name. But it will come back in time and with the help of a few triggers-"

"Well then we will just have to keep her from any triggers now won't we?"

The doctor hesitated "Yes sir" He opened the door to her room where she laid motionless, soundless. She looked untouched by the world and now she had an untouched mind to match, and that Snow thought was exactly what he needed.

* * *

When Katniss woke up she was blinded by white, the most unforgiving kind of white. 'Where am I? How did I get here?' She asked herself subconsciously. She closed her eyes now feeling her head pulse with pain.

Her voice wanted to escape her thoughts, and shout questions. 'Maybe if I lay still it'll come to me!' She thought, it was a good attempt but not a single image of her past presented itself to her mind.

She was blank, the only image she could conjure was the bright room. Her eyes fluttered open once more and she now scanned the room.

It was all white and frankly bland. There stood white chairs, a white dresser, paired with white walls and all sitting on white floors, and hell she was in a white bed with the white thin material that wasn't quite a dress covering her more than nothing at all would have.

The sound of a sliding door caused her gaze to shift. "Kate!" A man smiled at her. He looked a tad bit off his rocker, crazy white hair that stuck out of his head at random. A full white beard, icy cold looking blue eyes with crinkled corners showing wear and oldness to his otherwise plump face. Yet his smile confused her, it was a forgiving smile or so she thought.

"W-who?" She asked chopping her sentence short, afraid of rejection or worse feelings she could not return. Longing or sadness that she would not feel because she herself did not remember, but maybe he could tell her who she is.

"Oh… Yes the doctors did warn me about this." He ran his hand along his beard but still smiled, "But you're awake!" He walked to her bedside. "Do you know your name?"

She shook her head with her thoughts screaming, 'oh god what will he think?' "Where you are must have escaped you as well then" She nodded "Well your name is Katniss, but everyone calls you Kate. You're eighteen years old, and you're in a hospital right now… Do you remember anything?" She shook her head slightly but at least she now had a name, Kate.

"Well, your last name is Everdeen, your mothers maiden name... and I am your father." This was what she was dreading her father sat right next to her and she didn't know him she didn't feel anything toward him.

"You never knew your mother she left you with me after naming you. We are in a place called the Capitol, your home. Do you remember what happened to you?" She sighed and he knew she didn't, "You were married, part of it was my doing I guess. I'm the president of the Capitol by the way. I guess that is sort of an important detail...

"Anyway he was a nice boy, but there was an accident, a really bad one,"

She nodded for him to go on, sad now knowing that she had such a life and didn't remember a thing. "He died quickly." The man or… Her father stood up and paced the room, "You weren't as bad off. They were even able to save your baby."

"Excuse me?" She found her voice at his words.

"Oh! God Kate I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you… you're pregnant"

'Great,' she thought, 'How did I get myself into this?' "You barely found out. He didn't know yet. I'm sorry Kate"

"Are we close?" She looked into his cold eyes.

He laughed at her, "Yes I'd say so" A doctor entered the room and examined her.

"Alright Miss. Everdeen you're free to leave tonight if you wish." She nodded not quite sure yet what exactly she was agreeing to. She was scarred of what lay before her, the road to recovery. She was afraid to regain her memory and anything else that might come with it.

She was far from willing to learn more about herself. From what her father has said she hadn't had the easiest time here on earth, but then again she did lose all her memories, something had to be screwy right?

A nurse helped change her into street clothes and placed her in a wheel chair. Her father walked right next to her taking the advice of the nurse. She saw assorted colored hair and uniforms as she made her way through the hospital.

She shrugged it off assuming it was normal. Then it really hit her, all of it. She had no memory, she was just apparently widowed, AND she was carrying his baby.

'What was he like? Were we in love? How long were we married? How long did we know one another? What did he look like? Hell what do I look like?' These thoughts swam through her empty brain, she felt as though she just opened a book and started smack dab in the middle of it.

"Come on Kate" Her father took her arm and led her to a car. He sat her in the back seat, gave instructions to the driver, and crawled into the car next to her.

"Your room is ready for you at home." He started easing her back into reality.

"Home?"

"Yes of course. Since your husband is no longer with us I decided to have you move back in with me. Just until your memory comes back and you can get back on your feet."

She nodded and looked out the window, she saw pale pastel colored building. They must be a normalcy because this place was full of them. She looked up and saw a pinking sky changing from the light blue of the day to the colors of the sunset.

"It'll be alright Kate, just think about it. You and your baby have a fresh start"

Her baby, at the sound of the words she sent her hands to her flat stomach. She had some one else in this world who was just as, if not more confused than she was. She really wasn't alone.

They pulled up to a large house that didn't seem like it should be a 'house' it was more like a palace. "We're here"

"Here?" She pointed to the large place.

"Yes Kate welcome home" He got out of the car and helped her out as well. "It may be smaller than you remember but-… Sorry Kate I honestly don't mean to keep bringing that up."

"It's alright" She responded, he led her through the enormous house and eventually after a flight of stairs and eighteen different turns that she knew she would never remember they reached her room.

"Well this is it" He opened the door to a green room. Dark green smooth walls, wood floors that shined with polish.

A fire glowed elegantly in the fire place on the left wall. This fire place held a certain essence she couldn't pin point but she chose natural as a good description.

Straight in front of her was a large bed, the posts matched the floor, the blankets and pillows were assorted greens and laid ever so lifelessly on the clean bed. The plush bed looked like one could get lost and spend a day climbing from the foot to the headboard.

On the left wall beside the fire place were two wooden doors that again matched the floor. Evenly spaced from the natural looking fire place and polished like the floors so they shimmered in the artificial light that attempted to give a appearance like the sun streaming through trees.

On the right wall a matched dresser and chest sat next to a door with glass but was covered by green drapes that looked like a waterfall of green darkness. The dressers were oddly designed to appear antique though one could tell they were new.

Each detail seemed to be made with a special heart in mind, someone who liked a natural world this room was made for a specific girl who loved forests, then why did Katniss have this room? Did she once love forests and dark greens that were so lovely you thought they were really water falls and really trees?

There were lush green velvet chairs that seemed as though they had never been sat in. They looked empty and cold though the fire flickered a strange orange tint on to them.

It seemed to Katniss nothing had ever been used. This room seemed unlived in as if she had never existed in this space, like her mind had been telling her. Her mind was uncertain if she had ever even been here before.

She stepped into the room and gazed at all the two toned artifacts of a past life she did not know and was not sure she had ever known. The fire place and the chest were adorned with photos that she wanted to see closer. The shear neutrality of the room enticed her curiosity to make an expedition to the room.

"Well I'll leave you then, I'll fetch you at nine tomorrow for breakfast" He was about to close the door when She turned around.

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"Um… What do I call you?" She played with her fingers nervously.

He laughed lightly, "Well… Dad is fine"

"Alright" She sighed, "Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

She waited until she heard the door latch before turning around again. She went to the dresser first opening the double doors. She saw beautiful dresses all hanging delicately above matching shoes.

Twelve dresses two red, three green, two blue, a purple, a black, a white, an orange, and a gold. She let her hand run along the dresses feeling the different fabrics. She closed the dresser finding herself under intrigued.

She moved on to the chest, curiously opening the first drawer. She found under garments folded neatly and aligned in rows. She ran her hand across the top portion and the cold silk tingled her fingers.

She closed that drawer and opened the next. In that one she found jeans some were rougher than others as she felt the fabric.

Curiosity forced her to continue her search. The last drawer had more silky material that she concluded were meant to be slept in. She wearily slipped a shirt and pants from the drawer and closed it.

She wasn't sure why she felt so much apprehension in this act but she didn't feel right doing these things. She felt like she didn't belong there at all.

She pulled the light fabric onto her small frame. She ventured through one of the doors and found more shirts and skirts hanging she decided to put her clothes in the basket she ran across because for some reason it seemed right.

Behind the other door a bathroom laid in a white setting that reminded her of the hospital she left. She didn't like remembering that, feeling venerable to the world. She shut the door with a shiver down her spine.

She made her way across the room to the balcony. It was pitch black out with the exception of a few lights. She could hardly make out what looked to be a garden. It was clear no one else was awake. There wasn't even a breeze to be found. She wanted something to make her feel alive. Like she was really here in this place she wasn't sure she wanted to be in.

She recoiled back into her bedroom suddenly feeling exhausted. She delicately pulled the blankets back and slipped under them. Sleep quickly took her captive.

She was rudely awakened by the pressing need to throw up. She managed to hold it down long enough to reach the bathroom. The moment she stood up from her retching a woman walked in, she smiled and bowed curtly.

This woman took her back into her bedroom where she laid her under the covers of the never ending bed. That was when Katniss noticed the basket the woman carried. She sifted through it and pulled out a rubber pouch. She bunched Katniss's shirt and laid the pouch across her stomach, before walking out all with out a word.

The pouch was warm and it soothed her greatly. 'What a rude reminder,' She thought, 'but I could never forget you. We are after all just going through this together.'

With her hands placed gingerly over the warmth of the pouch she fell into a short nap, waking up about an hour later finding a warmth of the sun streaming into her room. She let her eyes see the crack in the water fall of green silk illuminate with the sun.

She didn't sit up immediately but rather stared blankly out at the window. She didn't know what to think she wasn't sure whether she should be mourning the loss of the husband she didn't remember, or be excited for the baby she was expecting.

As she stared off her eyes danced around the room observing the smooth paint and saw on the wall a clock staring directly at her. 8:10, she rolled out of her bed and managed to dress herself appropriately, after her shower. She still had fifteen minutes to kill even after all of that.

She walked to the glass door again this time with the risen sun she could see the outskirts of the house.

There was a hedged maze with rose bushes lining the walls of the home. Soft wind rustled her damp hair tickling her cheeks. She took in fresh clean breaths of air savoring the light blue sky which contrasted the green of the garden.

She coiled back into her bedroom after a few moments of unsanctified bliss. Feeling her stomach churn again she grasped the now luke warm water bottle. She laid herself across her bed and lifted her shirt to place it on her bare smooth skin.

Instantly the pain faded leaving her to sigh in relief. She didn't move for a good couple of minutes before hearing a knock at her door. She wanted to speak up but before she could the door was wide open, "Kate?"

She hardly looked up before defending herself, "I'm fine" She said quickly though she knew she looked like a train wreck. Her damp hair in her face and her hands still clutching water bottle.

"I'm assuming you want to skip breakfast then?" He laughed meeting her at her bed.

"Yes please" She chuckled in a strained tone.

"Alright I'll send Edna up in a few minutes." He began to leave the room before turning around, "When you're feeling better I want to show you around the house a bit"

"That would be great" The moment he left, it seemed a woman appeared in his place. She held something small in the palm of her hand. When she reached Katniss she tossed the small pill down her throat without her consent, causing her to half gag half gasp.

The moment the small pill was down pain seared her throat and a warm glow filled her abdomen. "Is it supposed to burn?" She asked in shock.

The girl nodded taking the water bottle and filling it with warm water to replace the room temperature. She replaced the bottle and left the room without a word.

How strange it seemed to her that words were always lost upon this woman's tongue. She laid still with her head tilted to one side for comfort.

She thought sleep was inevitable yet it never graced her with its presence instead she stared at a green wall just waiting for something, anything to happen. She made up her mind, finally deciding that she should attempted to nourish her body and well lets be practical her baby.

She had a feeling that all she would need to get through the rest of her life was right inside her. After all they were both starting over together. She had her baby what more could she need?

She let her hands rest on her stomach feeling the radiating heat seep into her skin. She just tried to imagine a little baby in her arms. Then she began to wonder yet again, what did she look like, what about her husband?

She sat up tenderly holding the water bottle in place not yet ready to give up it's heat. She walked up to the bathroom and for the first time (which she found rather surprising) she saw her own face.

She pushed back her hair examining her strong jaw line taking in her every feature. The pigment of her skin seemed to be a dull olive glow. She thought her lips formed a thin heart shape. She examined her nose, the rounded tip and the soft curve of the bridge reminded her of a slide.

She looked directly into grey hard eyes. She smiled to see if they wavered, when she smiled the hard stone color melted into a liquid silver. She felt strange but ran her fingers across her long eye lashes. She tangled her fingers through her long dark brown wavy hair.

She observed the perfectly cut ends before allowing her eyes to drift elsewhere along the path of her body. She noticed her slim figure which she noted would not last long.

She felt the muscles in her long legs running her hands up along the lines of her figure. So now at least she could guess at what her own little one would look like. One question has been answered out of the million she still had.

One would just have to do for now. She ran her hands tenderly through her coarse hair rubbing some strands together. She wasn't so sure of what she was expecting to see.

Now she had to make a decision 'Am I pretty?' She wasn't so sure she could answer this on her own. She walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway. She wandered aimlessly through strange unfamiliar corridors.

She found herself lost and upon opening several doors she found one that intrigued and halted her search for nothing.

She stepped into a large room filled with books. She felt a chill run through her as if her body knew that this was a place she had never been. The moment she touched a book she felt as if electricity ran through her.

"I see you're up" She gasped and looked up to the direction of the voice. "It's no wonder you found this place first, after all it always has been your favorite room."

She cocked her head to the side as he neared her. "This one was always your favorite." It seemed to her that he picked up a random book and placed it in her hands.

"A Little Princess?" She looked up into his eye with question.

"Yes…" He seemed caught off guard. "You adored little… Sara" He stuttered "maybe if you read it you'll remember"

She observed the hard cover but relatively thin book. She felt the cracks of ware along the spine and cover. The pages were almost yellowed and warped to the point of stiffness.

"What better way then to find out?" She smiled.

"Come on let's get you back to your room." He led her back and told her that in the morning he would return.

She lifted the book weighed it in her hand and read the faded print on the back of the book. "Sara Crew's full story based on the 1995 film has now come to print. The retelling of Frances Hodgson Burnett, incredible tale is retold in the highly acclaimed film version of Patrick Doyle's little princess."

She laid down on her bed and began to read. She read about the little British girl who lost her mother and loved her father dearly.

Some war began and he took her to some place called America where her mother went to school. Her father had just left Sara in her room when she put the book down.

Katniss hugged her knees in thought. The poor little girl being forced into schooling having her father torn from her side.

The poor little girl who had no one now. Well Katniss was sure of one thing, that would never be her child.

With the book still clutched to her chest she climbed under the sheets of her bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

That morning she finally ventured to the dinning hall for breakfast. "Good morning Kate" Her father smiled as she took her seat beside him on the long breakfast table. "We have a full day ahead of us" They ate their breakfast slowly but with an intense haste looming over their heads.

"Kate, there is so much to catch you up on over the years that has led up to the sorry state we are in now."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I told you how I am president. Well surrounding the Capitol are thirteen districts that I also rule over. Those surrounding districts have rebelled."

"Why?" She asked earnestly.

"Because they are foolish, they are rather improvised. But they feel war is the only way to see change."

"So are we at war?"

"I'm afraid so" He sighs, "Come I can show you the garden while we talk." They stood and he lead her out to the lovely colorful garden area.

He led her through the hedged maze and into a beautiful sitting area. Red roses surround the area dots of pink purple and orange adorn the hedges. The color seemed artificial and not too terribly inviting.

"So this is why we have such a busy day right?" She asked as they took a seat.

"Yes" He said, "the reason I've told you these things is because… As my daughter you have certain obligations."

"Yes" She nodded eager to help.

"The people need a figure to look up to, someone to see and know that all is well, a quote on quote, 'Mockingjay' of sorts" He stopped and looked at her, "You being my daughter, gives you that obligation."

She sucked in breath nodding slightly, "I will do what ever I am needed to do" She stated firmly. She questioned the look of surprise he gave her upon hearing her words. His look spoke louder than any words. He looked so shocked as if he thought he would never in a million years hear her say those things. His eyes flickered quickly back to a state of satisfaction.

He was silent, and so she found her own voice, "If the people need hope then hope I will give. War is the most dangerous tool that we have for restraint and with any luck it will die out quickly… I will do what I am needed to do"

"I'm glad to see your patriotism Kate" He laugh a laugh that oddly chilled her skin. "Today there will be an interview your team will be over at four to ready you for the event."

"Alright" She nodded he led her back to her bedroom where she picked up A Little Princess again.

She read about Sara's made up fairytales, her youthful belief that magic exists. Katniss found that clinging to the hope of magic, while not practical, makes life seem so much better, happier even.

And so reader she found magic made everything easier, and maybe you could too. Maybe if you took a deep breath and looked around at all the things that made no sense to you, and you closed your eyes and said, "There is magic in the world and I am living proof of that and so are these things that make no sense."

Maybe then those things that make no sense could finally make sense reader. Maybe then our lives would be happier if we chose to believe in magic whole heartedly as brave Sara Crew did all those years ago, and as Katniss so far away in the future did.

Promptly at four o'clock Katniss was prepped for her first of many interviews as her status of Mockingjay.

They slipped her into the liquid gold dress that hung in her dresser. They brightened her face made her feel like she could say she was pretty. She took the liberty of telling the team how much she loved it at every chance she got.

She was led to a grand studio where she met her father. "Remember Kate" He said, "You represent the Capitol's hope"

She smiled slightly and was ushered out to greet a man named Caesar who she supposed she already knew. He welcomed her warmly so she must have known him at some point.

He only asked her about the war wanting to know how she felt about it. She had no trouble telling him how awful she found the whole idea. How it sickened her to think about it.

All of her responses were taken well into consideration by Caesar. When the hour was up she was led away by her father.

"Good job Kate the crowd loves you." He smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes you really took flight so to speak"

She laughed to herself giddy with delight, she had done well.

Over the next month and a half she went to functions, brunches, parties, auctions. Everything and anything that her father informed her of. The only free time she had was spent sleeping.

She was shocked when she found one day her father was out, she had nothing to do and she was left on her own.

She discovered her body drawing her to her room, her feet took over her mind. What should she do?

She entered the green toned natural room and gazed longingly, begging almost for something to occupy her time. She glanced at her bedside table and eyed the rustic book placed slightly off center.

She took it and for a straight hour she read. The only reason she stopped was when she pushed it away. She couldn't help it… She was crying too hard. Poor Sara, the little girl was tortured by that awful Miss. Minchin.

Her father an amnesiac just like… Well Katniss herself. The man didn't know his right from his left, his memory was gone just like hers. The resemblance struck her heart and made her cry.

She wanted to jump into the story and comfort Sara as she lay in a ball on the floor crying for her new reality to be a dream. She wanted to tell Sara that her father was close that everything would have a happy ending like all those fairytales she told.

The little girl believed in magic, like Katniss felt she must in order to regain the past she had forgotten.

The parallel's between the two stories made her shake with fear. She decided to shower before reading any further. The moment she set foot on the cold tile her eyes danced to the mirror glimpsing at her casually dressed body.

She glanced at her make up stained face, traces of eye liner still lightly present. She touched her hair feeling the curls bend around her fingers. She rubbed the back of her neck lightly before allowing her eyes to wander where they wanted to be.

Her eyes quickly found the slight curve in her stomach that allowed her to visibly see her baby. Her now thirteen week long pregnancy was fully seen. Over the last weeks her father wanted to keep the baby hidden until it was just to obvious to hide.

He didn't want questions of the father to get her frazzled. Now she was just well… showing too much to keep it from the world.

She liked being able to see it she liked knowing her baby was there and not just make believe. She showered quickly and dressed tenderly tracing her bulging belly longingly.

She hadn't had a day go by without wondering about her past. She yearned to know the face of her husband, she wanted more then anything to know if she had loved the man she would be giving a child to.

Was it so wrong to want to know? She was apprehensive to ask her father about him. She was unsure of his reaction, she decided today she would ask him if there was video, a photo, a painting anything to at least show her who he was.

She made her way through the mansion glancing into each room as she passed. As her journey continued she heard the soft voices on the television playing.

She bounded over to the noise, the door was open and she soundlessly slipped into the room,

When she walked in her mouth opened to speak but she stopped. On the screen there was a boy, a blonde haired blue eyed boy.

"What do you think of the Capitol's promos with Katniss in them?" An interviewer asked.

"Well for one thing I'm happy she's alive. But the words she's saying aren't her own, her actions don't lead me to believe she's doing these things willingly. I know she would never give up on our cause. The rebellion is everything she believed in and knowing her, she's doing those things to protect us."

His voice was soft and her heart fluttered a bit at his milky kind voice. This action made her mind jog into a memory.

"You're too good at lying sometimes" She laughed heavily. The party below the training center could still be heard all this way up. The drunken high class Capitolites were loud and obnoxious but then again they were like that with out all the alcohol clogging their better judgment.

"Yeah… It's a curse and a gift." He smiled at her. "I'm sorry" He whispered this in a soft hushed tone as if afraid to startle a sleeping doe.

"About?" She turned to him resting her head on her hand.

"Putting you here… again" They both laughed at this. He shifted on the cloud-like couch bringing his left leg up on the couch.

"I don't mind" She cooed "I never wanted kids you know" She joked.

"Yeah" he sighed and was in all seriousness saddened by this thought.

"But your kids would be cute" She looked at him fondly.

"Yours would be cuter" He took her hand in his.

He took her words seriously when they got back to Twelve, _I... I can love you _ She had said, _I'm scarred I won't lie but please don't rush me like the Capitol. If you love me then... You'll move slowly. _She had been crying at that point. It had been so dark she thought he couldn't see her, but he stretched out his hand and wiped away her tears. _Okay, Katniss Everdeen would you like to take a walk with me through town tomorrow? _She laughed when he asked this, _Sure._

"Peeta?" She asked suddenly filling the space between them on the couch.

"hmm?" He asked as she placed her hands on his shoulders

"I-… I want you to…" she slipped her arms behind his neck.

"What?" He asked almost scared.

"I can't imagine coming out a second time." She said trying not cry. Hoping he would get the meaning of her actions.

"Don't say that…" He sighed disappointed he didn't like talking about it, their ultimate fate.

"Peeta it's true, and in this moment I-…. I want you. All of you" She got up on her knees and touched her forehead to his

"Katniss you're coming out of there alive" He said not fighting off her advance.

"Even if I do…. I don't want to live my whole life knowing that I could have made you endlessly happy. I want this…" She traced his jaw line with her finger and for the first time in a while her lips found him, more specifically his nose. "Marry me?" She whispered with longing and hope laughing lightly at her own question.

"You're sure?" He asked as her eyelashes tickled him.

"Positive" She whispered as he sat up becoming taller than her. His strong arms took hold of her slender waist and she took a loose hold of his curls. She kissed him with thick passion she wasn't sure whether or not it was lust or love but she hoped it was the latter.

Her blood boiled with passion and this game she had played with him for so long finally felt right.

He took her in his arms and carried her to her empty bedroom. He laid her on the bed and she slipped his shirt off tracing his well defined muscle with her hands and lips. She knew now that she **was** positive this **did** seem right and she wasn't sure why it took sex to prove this simple fact to her. She was in love with him.

He was scared and she could tell. She took her silk shirt off and looked at him, "It's okay" She whispered softly. "I'm not even scared Peeta Mellark come on" She teased him lightly. He followed her orders proceeding without fear.

He kissed her with rough passion that she knew was the fire he had built his whole life burning out of control. Then as if he had tamed a beast he became gentle as her own beast was unleashed.

Slowly but surely they became one comfortable in intimacy that has yet to be matched in their relationship. In the arena they had been sent bread and at night when the embers of their fire were gently glowing the had their toasting. Husband and wife a consummated relationship and a never ending fire of passion that kindled their love and the child inside her.

As Katniss came back from her flash back she suddenly felt faint. She heard the television again, "I still love her and I know we will find her"

"Peeta" She whispered as Snow turned to see her she let the blackness of realization overcome her.

But the damage was done she knew her husbands face she knew his voice she remembered conceiving of her child, she had her memory. Snow knew this and so he took matters into his own hands.

Rushing her to the hospital he met with the chief of surgery who had operated on her last. "Doctor" Snow jerked him away before heading into surgery. "Do everything you can to block out her past."

At first shocked the man did not answer because though he wanted to say no. No one says no to Snow. "I'll see what can be done" He answered solemnly before heading into surgery.

It was long to say the least, six hours later the head surgeon had done the impossible blocking her last memories of consciousness. For once in his life the surgeon was overcome with grief at what he had done. He felt his hands were not a gift from god but rather a tool for the devils handy work. His position was not that of a demigod, no he was a mortal tempted by the devil and conceived in sin.

He just mutilated a young woman's brain he morphed her memory and blocked those memories from coming back for a long while. He hated himself for this he felt now he would never be forgiven ever.

"So how is she?" Snow asked as soon and the chief of surgery reached him.

"Mission accomplished sir." He mustered pride for his doings.

"Good, good" Snow smiled, "May I see her?"

"Yes she should be waking soon." The doctor lead Snow to Katniss's room. She lay quite and peaceful. Almost as if on cue her eyes fluttered the moment Snow entered the room.

"Dad?"

"Yes Kate I'm here" He said delighted in the treatment she had received.

"What happened?"

"You fainted, they said there was something wrong with the baby but they fixed it and you'll both be just fine."

She sighed relieved, "And I was going to ask you something today. Go figure"

"What were you going to ask?"

"…Do we have a picture of my husband? Film? Anything? I just want to know what my baby may look like." She looked down at her little bump where her baby was asleep.

Snow was at a stand still, he can't just say there is nothing… "We'll do our best to look for something" He finally decided was the best response.

End of the first trimester


	2. Chapter 2

In her sixteenth week of pregnancy Katniss was beginning to get back into the public eye.

She went to the orphanage to visit the children of the Capitol. In the car ride over she was hesitant and nervous not knowing if she was good with children or not.

When she stepped inside her whole point of view changed. She never held or hugged more children in the entirety of her life. She kissed many smiling children. Press took pictures and many children drew her pictures too.

One little boy with green eyes and dark hair pulled on the skirt of her dress and asked for a dance. She picked him up and twirled him. He giggled and she did too feeling like she had done a world of good.

One little boy requested a first kiss and she gave him just that.

A little girl with blonde pigtailed braids wanted to feel her baby. Where another little girl requested that they sing together. All the while she was being recorded and photographed.

Returning home she ate quickly and sparingly before going up to her room she was about to sleep when she saw 'A Little Princess' on her bedside. Still untouched from the time she had to push it away.

She had to pick it up. And so she read until yet again she could bear it no more,

"Don't tell me you still fancy yourself a princess? Child, look around you or better yet look in the mirror." Miss. Minchin scolded Sara.

"I am a princess! All girls are, even if they live in tiny old attics! Even if they dress in rags! Even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young! They're still princesses! All of us, didn't your father ever tell you that? Didn't he?" Sara scolded back.

At that phrase she closed it immediately her hands found her stomach and she traced her baby with her hand. "You're a princess" She whispered softly, "Or a price I suppose. You are and don't let anyone tell you different. You don't need daddy to say so. I'll say it every day you live baby."

She fell asleep rubbing her baby that night and for many nights to come she would say this same thing.

The next fortnight she had no plans and her father had left early in the morning. Katniss was in her room tidying up what the avoxes had missed.

She heard a knock at her door and assumed it was her father. "Come in" She called throwing a few things off balance to make the once unlived bedroom look like it had been used.

"Hello Miss. Everdeen"

"Doctor!" She looked up and almost screamed.

"Hello" He said solemnly, "I didn't mean to alarm you."

"No" She sighed "I was just startled. What bring you here?"

"I wanted to give you something." He looked at the floor still sure that this was the only way. "May I?" He gestured to the plush arm chairs. She nodded and they sat. "Katniss, I know you-"

"Call me Kate" She smiled, "You've saved my life and my baby's"

"Katniss" He continued, "I'm sorry" He slipped a letter into her hand "Don't open this until you are out of Snow's grasp do you understand?"

"What do you mean?"

"You just need to know that he isn't your father. That this side you are a Mockingjay for is not the right side. When the war is over open this letter it will explain everything."

"What?"

"I don't have time to explain." He stood up, "Put it somewhere safe and maybe some day when this cruel war is over you can live freely with your child." She stared intently at the man trying to read him but it was impossible, "Good luck Katniss and please don't forget what I've told you"

She nodded slightly.

"Goodbye" He marched professionally out of the room. Katniss looked intently at the letter she had just received. Surely this man was out of his mind, surely he didn't know what he was talking about.

Nevertheless she put the letter in her book. What ever he meant it couldn't mean much right now, so why should she worry?

She made her way through the mansion letting the things the doctor had said melt away. She wandered into the hedge maze and soon found herself immersed in the late summer setting.

She sat and allowed the sweet smell of flowers to engulf her thoughts. Upon opening her eyes she looked all around her. The flowers were withering the smell was fading. Then she heard the doctors voice, "He isn't your father, this side is the wrong side." These things chanted in her mind.

What was happening to the beautiful world she once knew? What was happening to the world? She asked herself these questions with a sincere heart but sadly could not answer them. As we know she has no memory

Maybe dear reader you should ponder this too. When the flowers die as the seasons change, as wars rage on and time passes as it will in its delicate effortless consistent way, it is not so difficult to wonder. Maybe you could help us understand these many questions.

What is happening to the world? What has happened to us as a people? She could not recall the past years but reader you can what has happened to us? What is happening to the world?

"Kate!" Katniss turned to find the source of the voice, "Kate!" She heard it again and made her way out of the garden, "Kate!" The shout became more urgent and so she ran out of the garden, "Kate!" She reached the outskirts of the mansion.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she reached her father.

"Kate! The rebels have pushed their boundaries they are even closer to the Capitol than before. It's dangerous for you to be by yourself now." He lead her inside the house.

She followed him to his study where he told her of the next weeks events that had been planed. When the television suddenly grew louder, "Outside the war news we are regretful to say that today Chief of surgery Dr. Schmidt committed suicide by injecting himself with thirty dosages of morphling."

That was all Katniss could hear. Suddenly she was filled with questions. Why did he come to her just hours before he took his own life? Why her? Why did he say those strange cryptic things to her when she had no clue what they meant? Should she have known what those things meant? Well now she may not know.

That night she slept restlessly thinking consistently about that damned letter, for the next week and a half she thought about the doctor.

Why would he want to die? Why did he need to talk to her?

"Miss. Everdeen? Miss. Everdeen?" Reporters shouted as she faded back into reality. "What do you think about the rebels pressing the boarders?"

"I think they should be stopped. They need to stop this madness it's already gotten far out of hand. If we don't stop this soon, well who knows what could happen?"

"Miss. Everdeen! What do you think the Capitol should do next?"

"I'm in no position to predict that but I will say that whatever we are planning should happen soon."

Luckily for her the press conference was over and she was free to leave. Her mind had grown weary from fear, and thoughts of war. She wanted the war over even if the rebels won she just didn't want this war to rage on.

"Come Kate" Her father appeared at her side, "You have an appointment at the hospital"

"For what?" She asked thinking she was done for the day.

"Don't worry it's for the baby"

"Oh" She sighed climbing into the back of the car. She was now at the nineteen week mark and she knew that meant she was almost half way there.

That was another thought she consistently had, the reality of having the baby. For Christ sake she barely knew her own name, how in hell was she going to raise a baby?

She loved the little one she really did but she was just an anxious wreck.

They pulled up to the hospital where she was led into an examination room. She sat alone in the white hospital gown her hands laid on top of her bump.

She bit her bottom lip and fidgeted trying to ease her anxiety.

The door opened and she raised her eyes, "Hello, I'm Doctor Areol. I'll be taking your ultrasound"

She nodded and laid back on the paper covered bed. He messed with some buttons on a machine and she let out shaky silent breaths.

She fixed her hair out of nerves and just flat out tried to distract herself. "You ready?" She nodded rapidly, "Alright" He turned on the screen and placed the wand he had been hold onto her stomach. She sucked in hard because the cold almost seemed to sting.

He turned the screen to face her and started to point at several things. "That's a hand" She looked and saw a weird fuzzy image appear, "That's a foot" he flipped something else on and then the room filled with an odd swishing sound, "That's the heart beat."

She felt like she should be overcome with joy. She wanted to smile at her little ones feet and hands. She wanted to cry at the sound of its heart. Strangely however this just confirmed her doubts her baby was going to be born probably during a war.

Her baby would live in a broken world. "Do you want to know the sex?" She nodded swiftly hoping to make her heart leap at knowing what her baby was. "Well let's see here." He turned the screen to himself and after a few minutes of typing he faced her.

"Congratulations, your having a little girl" She smiled weakly. She was bearing a little princess into a world full of war and death. Could she be sent to hell for such a heinous act? "You can get changed and we'll finish up."

She did so and she gently rubbed her baby in just enough time to feel her little girl kick her softly. "I love you" She whispered before walking back into the exam room.

"Take a seat" He said and so she did. He asked the normal questions that she had been asked before. "Are you alright? You seemed distracted"

"To be honest doctor I don't want to have a baby during a war"

"Well that is to be understood"

Then she began to cry, "God what's wrong with me?"

"You're nineteen weeks pregnant your moods are bound to-"

"No! Why don't I have a clue who my husband is? Why doesn't my child have a father and has a crazy mother instead? Why am I crazy and afraid all the damned time? How will I ever take care of her if I'm like this?"

He said nothing neither of them said anything and for the longest time the only sound that filled the room was Katniss's pitiful sobs. It seemed like time stared at Katniss in her helpless state of panic and anguish.

It was like watching a movie in still shots, when it stops in an awkward place because the thing is so old and then suddenly without warning it starts up again in full swing. She gasped for breath finally attempting to silence her mourning cries. She took a few deep breaths before speaking, "So can I go?" She laughed at herself swallowing hard dabbing tears off her cheeks.

"Are you sure?"

"I will be eventually right?" She stood up to leave as her face slowly returned to its original softness with out contortions of pain.

"Miss. Everdeen"

"Yes?"

"Take care of yourself."

"I will." She promised leaving the room. She went home and didn't eat. She needed a distraction, she reached her room and saw the book the one consistent thing she could and did count on. That book was her escape and now she needed it more then ever before.

She sat on her bed and escaped that night. The night was young and with that book in her hands the night was all hers and she was free to fly away.

She read until the very end. When she closed it she was in tears because of the happy ending. Sara deserved the happy ending she received so maybe… Katniss deserved one too.

Sara's father got his memory back, and saved her from Miss. Minchin. Maybe then Katniss had a chance to get back her memory.

Maybe someday, but for now she would remember the hope a little girl held. She would remember magic and with that she allowed sleep to over take her for the first time in weeks.

The next few mornings she awoke from lovely dreams where she met her little girl an exact replica of herself. She raised the little girl and each morning she awoke with high hopes in her heart that maybe soon this war would end and soon she would be safe.

Her hopes lasted through her shower all the way until breakfast when her father would give her an update on the war. Her hopes returned every night before she would sleep. Because she knew that even in this god damn world her baby would be safe.

One day however her hopes were broken in the usual manner, "Good morning Kate" Her father sighed.

"Nothing good has happened, right?" She asked taking her seat at the dinning table as her back shot pain through her as it had the past few days.

"It seems to be getting worse in-fact" He sighed.

"Well, what has happened?"

"They're getting closer to the city Kate. Everyday they get stronger and everyday they push farther." He sighed, "They've surrounded the Capitol, and we need to scare them into submission"

"How?"

"I'd hate to ask this of you but Kate I need you"

She sighed and glanced at her baby. Today marked the half way mark of her pregnancy. Twenty weeks from now she'll meet her daughter. Everything she did was for her including anything on the war front.

"I'll do whatever it takes"

* * *

Now reader I think you must be wondering what is happening on the other side of this whole ordeal. Yes I mean Peeta, well you'll be happy to know he's just fine but let's check in on them shall we?

For the past few months he'd been beating himself up over and over again. He let them take her. He let them get away with the love of his life. She had just agreed to marry him, she HAD married him and he let them take her from him.

"You know she's fine" Haymitch said as he always did. "We've seen-"

"Yeah I know" He responded in the usual manner. He did know he's seen the promo's she taped, months had passed since a new one was out.

Little did he know that his leader President Coin was filtering any video of Katniss's pregnancy so keep everyone shut up on the matter of saving her.

"We'll find her" Haymitch said.

Then Peeta said something he normally wouldn't, "I keep wondering if we'll ever find her. Johanna said she hadn't seen her since the arena. I'm starting to wonder-" He choked back a sob because no matter how many times this thought came to him it never ceased to make him emotional, "If they killed her"

"They wouldn't do that" Haymitch said, "They need her for-"

"For leeway? They why haven't we seen her begging for help? Or why haven't they USED her like that?" At this Haymitch was silent.

"Peeta?" Finnick (Yeah I couldn't kill him) stood at his door way. "I know it's hard, I do I remember when they had Annie but you have to keep believing in her will to survive"

"But… It just seems so useless. How do we know?"

"We don't" Finnick took a few steps closer to Peeta, "We just have to believe"

"But I'm so convinced she's dead I'm afraid she's not" He let tears roll down his cheeks, "What if they're torturing her like they did to Johanna?" He remembered the horrifying details Johanna had described to him about her torture fearing the worst and having no hope.

"They may be" This was something no one had said to him before, "and when we get her back she may have a long road ahead of her." Now they were both crying imagining Katniss mauled mentally and physically "But you have to be there right beside her every damned step of the way"

"Hey" The two crying men looked over to the door way where an sympathetic looking Johanna stood. Lord she never looked that way something had to have gone drastically wrong, "There's a transmission coming in from Snow"

Finnick and Peeta dried their eyes and headed to the viewing area right behind Haymitch. Peeta sat in the very front row. The transmission came in fuzzy at first and frankly Peeta didn't pay any attention till he heard her name, at the mention he sat erect eyes dead on the film.

"She's got just a few things to say about this whole ordeal." Suddenly the bottom half of the video was gone but there was her face in a dark room. In the top right hand corner was the video they were showing her.

It was fighting, bad fighting explosions everywhere, blood splattered the screen and Katniss's hand flew to her mouth. Watching the fighting she began to hyperventilate behind her hand. Her eyes grew exponentially and good god Peeta almost couldn't watch but everyone was watching him.

Tears streamed down both of their faces. He wanted to hold her and wipe the fear from her face but he couldn't he knew he couldn't. But he imagined he could simply reach out and caress her face and softly kiss her cheeks and tell her that those things she was seeing never happened.

He opened his eyes and sadly watched her crying without the comfort of anyone at all.

The war film showed a soldier's face blow straight off and Katniss screamed like no one had ever heard before. As the film neared the end she hid her face and screamed again.

"Is this really worth it? Is this war really worth it?" Someone screamed at her.

"No" She whispered traumatized by what she has just witnessed. "No… No… No…" She began to cry again.

"Then why is this still happening?"

"I don't know" She whispered.

"Get her out of here" Snow called and the screen suddenly fixed itself so it was whole again. "You see what you do to your own allies? Do you see what war can do?" And on that cryptic note he was gone.

Peeta Mellark had never hated himself more then in that exact moment. He abruptly stood up and left only one thought vibrated in his mind, What have I done?

Katniss cried herself to sleep that night her mind plagued with gory images. Some of the soldier's faces were replaced with those of her child. In the night she tried to save her, in the bleak darkness of the world at the night she would cry out for her daughter, and this vicious cycle would follow well into her twenty-sixth week of pregnancy.

He sat on his cot crying shaking violently.

Finnick knelt next to him "Peeta, it's okay-"

"No! It's not! It's not okay!" He stood up and looked around his room for help. Good god is there no mercy in this world?

"Peeta-"

"Shut up!" He said softly with insane intensity.

"No sweetie don't!" She cried out in her sleep as she watched her daughter blown to bits. For the third time that night she woke up, two-thirty in the morning. She felt her daughter kicking saying "I'm still here mommy"

"I love you princess" She cried and attempted to fall back into pain filled slumber.

"She needed me" he said with the same intensity. "And what did I do? Nothing!" He spat.

"Do you think you're helping anyone by saying those things?" Finnick shook his head

"For once in my life I don't give a damn."

"I won't let them hurt you!" Katniss cried as another dream finished. This time she died holding her baby. Again she cried vowing to her princess she would keep her safe.

"Peeta-"

"Haymitch I don't care what you have to say" Peeta growled.

"Fine then" Haymitch said calmly. He stared at Peeta and as hard as he could punched him into unconsciousness.

"I swear princess, you won't know what war is. You will be free and happy and loved. I swear" Katniss didn't sleep and she didn't sleep for a long time.

* * *

_So I'm not sure how obvious it is that I never read the last book, but I didn't I had it totally spoiled for me and so I never read it. And then this happened. If I messed up really bad please tell me so because I would feel awful if no one told me._


	3. Chapter 3

It was worse now by that of course we mean everything. Absolutely everything seemed worse for Katniss. Now the war was real, now it was no longer just something to talk about. It was real, people were really dying and for the first time she realized she had no clue what the hell this war was even about.

Every time she closed her eyes gory images of deceased decaying soldiers jumped into her thoughts. Her heart became weary with grief for both the Capitol and the rebel forces.

She was questioning everything she said and did now. Each day that passed the rebels grew closer and closer. She just prayed each and every day that it would be the last day of a war torn world and the first day of peace. One day more she'd say to herself and then they'll win and the war will end.

Every night she attempted sleep in a futile manner and each morning when she rose to the sound of shouting rebels she was overcome with grief. Her princess would wake her saying maybe tomorrow mommy, tomorrow for sure.

She suddenly didn't care who won the war she just wanted it over. Not a day went by when she didn't cry. Not a day passed when she didn't hope to hear of the Capitol's surrender or the rebel's victory.

Soon she lost her sanity at least she feared she had, she was twenty-six weeks along in her pregnancy when they heard the announcement.

"The rebels have surrounded the president's home."

"Oh for crying out loud!" She cried at her father as soon as the announcement finished. "Why have we yet to surrender? We are loosing badly! Why do we continue to kill ruthlessly?"

"Kate you don't understand political matters such as this." He said calmly as she began to cry.

"I don't want to raise my daughter in a war torn world where we hardly know if we will die tomorrow!" She cried heavily. "Please stop this before they press further!"

He didn't say anything, "Kate… I think it be best if you took a breath and walked away from the issue." And so she did, well to be completely accurate she ran from it. She ran to her room and cried. She locked the door hoping to lock out her problems.

We have all done this at one time or other I do believe. Close the door to our rooms gaining solitude and feeling like we have locked our problems out and we never want to open the door again. Because we all know if we open it then we have to deal with the world which we never want to do.

She collapsed onto her bed and cried harder than she thought she ever could. She felt her baby's strong kick that would normally hurt and instead found it comforting. She apologized sincerely cooing with a kind intensity.

"I love you my little princess." She whispered repeatedly. After a good hour she wiped her eyes and showered off the days worries.

She took notice of the book that took residence in not just her room but her heart. She read it all night instead of sleeping.

This time around she didn't cry probably because she knew what happened already. But for the next two weeks she completely blocked out the rest of the world. She read every day and night escaping to the world of Sara Crewe every day she would believe in magic and princess and princes.

She left the world behind in an attempt to leave the wretched world of war and pain behind. She read her favorite parts out loud so her baby could hear them. She can't count the amount of times she said, "I am a princess! All girls are! Even if they live in tiny old attics! Even if they wear rags! Even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young! They're a princess"

Every time she said those words she would say, "You're my princess."

Sometimes she would take the time to ponder the war, questions exploded in her brain like why the rebel's hadn't attacked? Why were they just sitting there on their door step?

She wouldn't think to long about it normally these thoughts came at night when she attempted to sleep. Those thoughts were interrupted by her baby growing restless and kicking her ribs. She would fall asleep eventually if she held a pillow to her chest to absorb the rebound of the baby's kicks.

At thirty-two weeks she had just given up on any thought dealing with the war.

All she paid head to was her baby, she did everything for her baby. She would have let herself starve but she loved her princess so she ate.

She would have never moved but she loved her princess so she showered and walked around the mansion every now and then.

Everything was for her princess absolutely everything. In hindsight she should have paid more attention to the war outside her front door.

It was at night when it happened. A dark cold night and now that we think back on it this day was the shortest day of the year, December twenty-second. Katniss had followed her daily rituals, she was exhausted as usual.

She brushed her now rather long wavy hair and dressed in her night clothes. Silk even during this cold night was still acceptable. She slipped under her covers as usual and she pulled her pillow to her chest to settle her little princess.

The lights were off and all was silent. No one made a sound as she fell asleep, not expecting a bump in the night.

Almost as soon as she slept the rebels made their move. They broke into the house and scattered attempting to capture Snow. They were silent and well fit in their jobs for they slipped in without waking Katniss or her little princess.

Peeta, Finnick, and Johanna were given another mission however. Find Katniss, and bring her back to district thirteen for immediate rehabilitation. No one was expecting what would happen though. Sadly it would require more tears to be shed and more regret than any other emotion to fulfill this task.

Opening every door and closet the trio moved swiftly and quietly. They slithered from room to room with no luck eventually anger boiled in Peeta's veins. He kicked down doors and almost cried 'it's all my fault' when she was not there.

Then some higher power finally pitied the trio and lead them to her bedroom.

Peeta kicked the door and in response, Katniss sat up clutching the pillow over her baby close.

"Hello?" Finnick whispered.

"Who are you!?" Katniss shouted in fear. Johanna found the lights. Katniss's eyes wandered to the three strange people now in her room. Her only thought echoed in her mind, rebels.

"Katniss!" Peeta sighed nearly fainting.

"Who are you? How do you know me?" Suddenly the relief that filled the trio flipped into despair.

"Katniss, it's us." Finnick stepped forward. She just coward back clutching the pillow even tighter.

"Katniss what's my name?" Peeta went the foot of her bed.

Her eyes searched the bed as tears welled up in his eyes. "How the hell should I know? You're a rebel!" She spat fear rising inside her, 'They'll never take my baby.'

"Katniss" Peeta whispered beginning to cry. Johanna for the second time in her life felt sympathy towards Peeta and placed an arm around him.

"Katniss" Finnick said in a new voice, "We're taking you to district thirteen." He sounded like he was commanding her as Peeta sobbed effortlessly and silently.

Katniss bit her lower lip swinging her legs to the opposite side of her bed thrusting the pillow to one side. Everyone except her stopped.

They stared at her swollen pregnant stomach in awe and anguish. She struggled to stand and when she did she stole the copy of the little princess slipping the letter the doctor had given her out.

"What?" She snapped, "Have you never seen a pregnant woman before?" Apparently not, she thought to herself as tears now streamed down Finnick's face.

Finnick turned from her trying to regain his composer. No one said anything as Peeta cried or as Finnick wept. Katniss was just confused, 'The rebels must have had something go awfully wrong.' She thought not sure what to feel.

"Attention people of the capitol" The intercom rang, "We have captured your leader and he has surrendered."

"The war is over" Katniss smiled. "It's over" She felt free, finally free. The weight of the world lifted off her shoulders. Her baby, her daughter, her princess would be born in a safe world.

"Alright" Finnick said in a shaky tone. "Come with us." She followed the three and held the book in her hand hoping no one would take notice.

She held her breath when they got outside the cold winter air wrapped her in its arms. She shivered as she was led to a hovercraft. The moment she stepped foot in it everyone stared at her belly.

"What?" She snapped, "What are you staring at?" No one said anything in fact they all just left her they closed the door behind them and she was alone.

She pulled the letter out from behind her. She slowly broke the seal.

_Katniss _It read, _I'm sorry first off though I know you will probably never forgive me for what I've done. I took your memory away. _Her eyes widened, _Snow told me to but if you're reading this then Snow has been overthrown as I predicted. In the envelope I enclosed something you MUST give to a doctor it will give them directions on how to get your memory back. Katniss I'm sorry for everything and now that Snow is out of office I hope you and your baby live happy lives. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me though it will be a very difficult task. I'm deeply sorry for all the trouble that I've caused you and again when you gain your memory I hope you live the rest of your life as free as a Mockingjay. Sincerely Dr. Schmidt._

She put the letter down, and picked up the envelope. Gently she felt a bulge in the packing.

She pulled out a vile with a note in it. She pulled out the note, Instructions, she thought.

"I need a doctor" She said out loud but still in a daze with all the information she had been given. "I need a doctor!" She shouted now anxious for her memory.

"Katniss what's wrong?" Finnick and Peeta ran into the room.

Now at this point in time Katniss was gasping losing her grip on reality crying even. "I-I…." She covered her mouth her words fighting to come out but were only a jumbled mess of thoughts

"What's this?" Johanna asked picking up the letter Katniss had discarded.

"Katniss what's wrong?" Peeta asked putting his hand on her stomach as she gasped in amazement and anxiety.

"Is that it?" Johanna asked. Katniss nodded quickly. "Alert a doctor" Johanna shouted.

"Joe what's going on?" Finnick stood up.

"They took it!" She cried running from the room.

"What?" Peeta looked at Katniss.

"My memory" Katniss whispered crying still, "Snow took my memory" She was breathless as these words left her throat.

Silence fell on Katniss's ears even though Johanna, Finnick, and Peeta were running around frantically calling district thirteen alerting Coin that the mission was accomplished. They contacted the best surgeons in thirteen and prepped the hospital.

Katniss wondered now what she was getting her memory back would she like what she saw?

The hover craft landed while her tears still dripped slowly down her face. "Katniss" Peeta took her arm. "We're here." She didn't say anything but she used his arms to help her off the floor.

The moment she had stepped foot in district thirteen she was rushed into surgery.

* * *

It was hours but to everyone in the waiting room felt it was days. Mrs. Everdeen was in a hopeful grief she had her daughter back and she was pregnant, yet she may only have half a daughter. What if she never got the chance to make up for her absence in her daughters life? What if she didn't have her daughter anymore?

Primrose cried softly not because of her own injury but because her big sister may die. Her big sister who loved and adored her. The one who saved her life more than once good god her sister couldn't die now. What would she do without her big sister?

Peeta cried believing that this was all his fault silently cursing himself. This was his fault. He let her get taken he had watched her fall and couldn't get to her fast enough. He had gotten her pregnant, what if he lost her and the baby? Would he ever recover?

Finnick held Annie close thanking any god who would listen that it wasn't Annie and after feeling selfish for his thanks he cursed the day he didn't help save the girl on fire. She had no one and here he was thankful it wasn't someone he loved. He felt selfish and so he cried for his friend who may never wake again.

Annie cried knowing she was pregnant just like Katniss knowing full well that if Mags hadn't taken her place she could very well have been in that operating room. She didn't know Katniss but she prayed she would have the chance to someday.

Haymitch sat there too wondering when she had the time to get knocked up? And honestly, he hoped she would remember him. If she didn't make it he'd have to deal with lover boy anyway. Plus Katniss was the only person who he could ever relate to, the only person who made him feel like he had a chance of a family.

Johanna sat there only a single tear fell down her face for the idiot she had learned to love. For gods sake if she didn't make it who had hope for any thing else?

Gale hoped she wouldn't get her memory back so she wouldn't remember all the awful things he said and did to her over the years. And he only prayed they could start over.

Fear and sad sobs filled the air of the waiting room as everyone cried and prayed paying respect for their friend, thanking any god who would listen that she was alive and all of them pondered what hell she had gone through. Even wondered if she would make it through this surgery or if she were a lost cause.

The doctor seemed to suddenly appear. Everyone stood up, sorrow filled hearts and trembling sobs, they all swarmed him.

"She's waking now" He said "We aren't sure if it worked."

"Can we see her?" Mrs. Everdeen asked.

"Yes, tell us if she has no recollection of her past when she wakes." He said afraid that he could not fulfill the wishes and prayers of these people who fought to make the world a brighter place.

Everyone sighed and headed in the direction of her room. "Peeta" Prim said. "You go in for us we… Well I'm scared, I can't-" She began to sob and Finnick took over.

"We can't bear it." He said as Annie placed her face in his chest.

"Okay" He said softly. He entered the room quietly and glided to her bedside.

She looked at him with tired grey eyes. "Katniss?" He whispered.

"Never… Ever… Ever call me Kate, Peeta" She said.

"Katniss" He whispered crying again. "You're-you're…. Thank you" He laid his head in the crook of her neck inhaling her scent smiling inside and out.

"Peeta" She said as her tiredness eased away.

"Yes?" He asked pulling away.

"I'm pregnant" She said still dazed from surgery not yet aware that it was kind of hard to miss.

His eyes moved down to her round stomach where, if it were possible, his smile broadened. "Hi there" He placed his hand on their princess.

Katniss took his hand and moved it down so he could feel his daughters strong kick. "This is where she likes to kick" She brought his hand to the top of her belly. "This is where she waves." just as she said so the little girls hands ran over his. She took two of his fingers and moved them to the middle of her stomach, "Do you feel the little thud?" He nodded quickly, overwhelmed with joy at feeling his child, "That's the heart beat."

"Hi baby" He whispered getting close to her stomach, "I'm your daddy" He let his lips touch the fabric between him and his child.

"She's strong" Katniss whispered.

"She?"

"We're having a girl" She pet their little princess fondly.

"My girls." He laughed crying steady tears. "My beautiful strong amazing girls." He kissed the baby and then he kissed Katniss. "I love you Katniss." He whispered letting his lips glide to hers yet again. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"Not saving you" He sighed with pain constraining his heart and voice.

"There was nothing you could have done." The moment he opened his mouth to speak she spoke up. "And don't you dare fight me. What's done is done." She let her arms wrap around his neck and kissed him. "I love you." She whispered. After tender moments of kisses and sweet talking to their princess Peeta reluctantly left her bedside being called to a meeting with the rebels.

"Kat!" Katniss allowed her eyes to drift to the door.

"Hey there little duck" She whispered trying not to cry too hard at the sight of her sister. Prim limped her way over to Katniss and hugged her tightly.

"Katniss I missed you so much." She whispered as they cried into the crook of one another's necks.

"I missed you too" She stroked Prims long blond hair "Why are you limping?" She asked as they finally pulled apart.

"There was an accident. A bad one, a bomb went off in a camp. I was caught under the debris. I got lucky I was one of the only people who live." Katniss noticed her baby sister's eyes watering, " Peeta found me quickly but too much shrapnel was in my left leg. So now I need a crutch. But it's not that bad." She said hurriedly, "I'm just glad I came out with my life."

"Oh Prim" Katniss stumbled out the words, "I'm so sorry"

"Hey. You were the one without a memory in the Capitol remember?" Prim laughed. Suddenly so did Katniss. "Now I really am a duck aren't I?" She laughed again, "Can I feel the baby?" She asked eager to feel her little niece.

"Yes" Katniss laughed guiding her hand to the baby, "I think your niece likes you" Katniss smiled at Prims jubilant face.

"A girl!" She squeaked. Katniss nodded as Prim rammed herself into Katniss's arms. "You're having a girl!" She giggled. She bounced with excitement for the little one they would soon be able to love.

"Yes Prim. I'm having a princess."

"A perfect little princess" Prim smiled putting her hand back on the baby, "I'm your aunty Prim." She cooed, "and I'm going to spoil you rotten" She laughed so happily and blissfully. "I missed you so much Kat. I'm so happy you're safe."

"I love you Prim"

"I love you too Katniss." Prim hugged her sister tightly before leaving for her physical therapy appointment. Katniss smiled fondly at her baby.

"Katniss" She heard a knock on the door. "Hi Katniss" Her mother poked her head into the room.

For the first time in a long time Katniss smiled affectionately at her mother, "Hi" Her mother walked slowly to her bedside and cautiously took her hand.

For the longest silence ever endured the two just looked at each other. Smiling at one another until her mother did something she never did. She leaned down and hugged her, "Thank you for coming home" She whispered as Katniss choked back tears.

She held her mothers neck knowing now the love a mother has for her daughter. "I love you mom" She said realizing she had never said I love you to so many people. They pulled apart and Katniss beamed at her mother.

"Mom" She said "would you like to meet your granddaughter?"

"I must be old" She laughed, "A grandmother" Her eyes never left her daughter as her hand instinctively found the baby's kick. "I'm so proud of you Katniss" Her eyes shined with happy feelings, "I know your father would be too." Delight shone in both of their eyes.

Her mother told her she was a healer in thirteen now. She told her that she would be back when she got off work and again Katniss was left alone but not for long.

A woman with dark hair and stunning green eyes slipped silently to her side. "Hello" She said quietly "You probably don't know me. But I know you" The young woman smiled at Katniss and she nodded in return, "I'm Annie" She said taking a seat in the chair next to Katniss's bed.

"Annie… I think I've heard of you" Katniss whispers.

"Probably from Finnick"

"Oh Annie. The one he heard…"

"Screaming? Yes I remember that"

"Oh how do you know Finnick?"

Annie laughed lightly, "Well I'm married to him"

"Finnick isn't married" Katniss furrowed her brow in thought.

"We got married here"

"Oh… Congratulations." She said feeling bad about having said what she had.

"Thank you… I know I don't know you very well but I just wanted to tell you." Annie paused and searched for words, "You're very brave to have done everything you have done." Annie seemed to get misty eyed, "You came out of a similar situation as I did and you… You came out a better person. Where as I didn't"

Katniss looked intently at Annie trying to find words to match her own, "I didn't really" She said "I just, I'm trying to" she searched her brain for any words that fit her feelings."...Learn is all" She said finally.

"Annie?" Finnick poked his head into the doorway smiling "Well welcome back girl on fire" He said walking toward the two girls, "We missed you."

Katniss nodded, "Since when have you been married?"

"Jealous?"

"Do I look jealous?" She points to her baby.

"You sound it" He laughed. Katniss rolled her eyes. He took Annie's hand and Katniss saw a longing in her eyes.

She suddenly felt a jab at her insides for not seeing how in love they were. Oh wait no, that pain would be from the little one turning over.

She closed her eyes tightly as the baby kicked her incessantly. "What's wrong?" Annie asked concerned.

"She" Katniss started, "likes kicking mommy in the gut until it hurts." Katniss cringed as she kicked again.

"Does it always hurt?" Annie asked as if she were scared.

"Not always just when she turns over"

"How did you ever do it?" Annie asks in awe.

"What?" Katniss laughs as her baby settles down, "Be pregnant?"

"In the Capitol"

"Oh… Well it's not like I could really do anything about it." Katniss shrugged.

Annie started asking questions about Katniss's pregnancy until Finnick said, "Well I'll leave you two, to um… be girls"

With that he was gone "Why so curious? If you don't mind me asking." Katniss laughed the moment his footsteps faded.

"Well… I just think I might be…"

"How far?"

"About a month and a half since we last…."

"In my first month I was sort of fighting for my life, and didn't think I was pregnant so I can't really help you out there…." Katniss smiled softly. "How are you sure?"

"I just… Feel different which sounds weird I know but I just do" Annie sat next to Katniss in silence for a moment before saying goodbye.

Katniss sat alone and again it wasn't long before someone came knocking on her door.

She looked over at the cracked door. "Catnip" He said in a hushed tone.

"Gale" She said breathlessly.

He walked over to her slowly and then he began to laugh, "This is just the biggest joke isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Our lives. Screwed up and just a big joke" She nodded, "I thought you didn't want kids"

"I didn't plan this one Gale" She sighed.

"I thought you wanted to be a virgin forever"

"I thought I was going to die" She sighed.

He stopped, "Catnip… I'm sorry"

"What?"

"Don't expect to hear it again"

"I wouldn't from you Gale" She laughed.

"It's just…. When you were gone. He cried… A lot and I realized that he needs someone to wear the pants in the relationship"

"What?"

"Just a saying Johanna taught me" He laughed, "It means he's the woman in the relationship."

"Are you calling me a man?"

"Well yeah" He laughed, and she laughed too.

"Uncle Gale… Has a nice ring to it"

"You think so? I think I like Gale the Great better"

"No Uncle Gale, makes you sound older." She laughed.

"You calling me old?"

"Yep" again they both laughed

"I'm going to be the cool uncle that teaches the little tyke to hunt"

"She'll beat you at your own game"

"Maybe she will, maybe she won't"

"My little girl's going to be the best hunter since me"

"Then when I have a kid some time in the future they'll beat your kid. Because aunty Katniss will take the two of them out hunting"

"We'll have the two best hunters in all Panam. And my husband will have a heart attack while it's happening"

"Your wife?"

"Yes my wife" She laughed. "God Gale, I can't wait for that. For you to teach her to hunt and for you to have a kid to be her partner. We'll teach'em everything we know"

"Well not everything, got to let them find there own way."

"True" He laughed with her like he hadn't… Well he couldn't remember if they ever had.

As he left his best friends bedroom he smiled. As the door closed behind him he allowed a single tear to fall. His teenage infatuation had left him because the war had changed him for the better. He no longer had a childish crush, he had a best friend and a future to plan for.

After a week of recovery and heckling from Haymitch normally along the lines of, "Damn I never had THAT much luck in the Capitol, I hardly got any action." Katniss was told it would be safest for her to return to district twelve.

Her mother explained that thirteen could still be bombed by any straggling Capitol supporters. So a thirty-three week pregnant Katniss, Prim, and their mother all headed out to twelve.

Most of the time spent riding in the train to twelve was spent with apprehension. They were all ready to be thrown into utter disarray when they reached twelve.

They prepared themselves for the horror they might witness when they got home. They expected to see ruins of what was once called home.

But upon arriving they found the rebuilding process to have taken a turn for the better. The town was slowly but surely becoming better than it used to be. The seam was just dead grass and ash now which was sad, but also hopeful and all and all for the better.

Still Katniss, Prim, and their mother returned to Victor Village. There they found everything intact somehow.

Katniss' mother and Prim set right to work attempting to build a nursery fit for the little princess. Katniss being stubborn continually attempted to help but both Prim and her mother always stopped her.

Eventually Prim and their mother moved into the house next door. Katniss began to actually imagine living with her baby, holding her little girl. She could see it clearly, the little one she didn't want for so long, smiling, walking, talking. A perfect little girl.

"Katniss" Prim walked up to her one day after the nursery had been finished. Katniss had seen it, she thought it was just perfect. "Have you picked a name out yet?"

Katniss sighed, "No… Haven't even attempted to come up with one" Katniss sighed slumping back into the couch.

"You do know the baby's due in two weeks right?" Prim giggled all in good nature. Even so the thought sent a frightened chill down Katniss's spine "Well Mom's coming over with some name books today. That'll be fun right?"

"Of course Prim" Katniss laughed. What could be more fun than picking names? Well a hell of a lot. But her princess needed a name.

Their mother came over shortly after with an arm load of books. Prim brought slips of adhesive note cards so to mark names they liked.

Katniss flipped absentmindedly through the text stopping to look at a name or two. When she shut her first book of names she glanced at her mother and Prim.

Their books were full of notes and they were only half way through. Katniss picked up the next book and flipped through it. She did this for the next two books.

She picked up the third, she realized it was the book of plants her father had made. She took a deep breath before opening it. She wanted to just see what was there.

She flipped cautiously and slowly through the book relishing in the knowledge her father had possessed. She was nearing the end when she stopped.

Peony, the text read, a small miracle. A rare plant with healing properties. Small and insignificant is size but a lovely light pink. Reduces fever.

Peony, she had read that name in the last book she had picked up. She gathered the last book and flipped to the P section. She found it at last and began to read the meaning.

'praise giving' riches in spirit and honor in actions.

Katniss smiled book marking the name. She picked up the last book and honestly didn't read it at all.

"Alright I have my name choices" Prim piped up.

"I do too" Their mother smiled.

"Same" Katniss said. Prim read a long list of names. None of which Katniss liked as much as Peony. Never-the-less she wrote down some of Prims to entertain her and mother.

Their mother read out a shorter list and Katniss wrote down one of them.

"I only have one," Katniss announced placing a hand on her sleeping baby, "Peony"

"Peony" Their mother smiled.

"It was in dads book. He called it a small miracle" Katniss smiled, "She's my little miracle"

"It's perfect Katniss" Prim smiled.

Her little Princess, her little Peony. "Katniss" She looked up at her own mother. "It's time for your check up." By that of course she just meant talking about the birth. Prim got up and left the room. Katniss let out a shaky sigh when she shifted to face her mother.

"Katniss, are you ready?" She asked sincerely.

"I- I'm not sure... I'm scared" She said.

"I know, but Katniss." She paused, "It'll be okay. Everything will be just fine, you'll have Prim and I there"

"I know but still." Katniss stopped to find the proper words, "She's been safe inside me for so long, I'm afraid for her to suddenly face the world."

"That's normal, you've been through a lot haven't you?" She nodded and her mother wrapped her arms around her, "You can do it Katniss. You're strong"

Katniss spent the next week being yelled at by her mother and Prim to slow down. She never did of course which might explain all the yelling.

Katniss did so much in-fact her mother thought she was going to go into premature labor. Eventually her mother put her on bed rest for the last week.

Katniss couldn't have hated it more if she tried. Prim would sit next to her making sure she didn't move. She would talk of course, she talked a lot, but eventually they ran out of things to say.

"I think I'll take a nap." Katniss said one morning as the new march day waned on painfully slow.

She fell asleep quickly. She drifted off to a dreamless sleep, but just as quickly came back to the land of the living. The day had turned to sunset when she awoke.

Prim was gone and a note was left on her bedside. _Went into town to help out be back by eight._ Katniss sighed now extremely bored.

"Do you want me to sing for you?" She asked and her baby immediately kicked to say yes. She thought about singing the meadow song but that song bore sad memories with it's lovely tune.

What then? Well maybe " Hear now, Hear the angels call The angels calling your name. Here now When your heart breaks at dawn The angels will call out your name.

"Fear not When darkness falls My candles are guiding your way. Fear not That the sky has fallen Just follow me down Maiden Lane

"Follow me down Maiden Lane. Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know

"So hold on Hold on to me now Hold on, I'll carry you through. We'll know When morning has come That morning has come back for you.

"Follow me down Maiden Lane Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know.

"Sleep now Sleep like the angels. Dream as the innocent do. 'Cause we'll rise, We'll rise from the ashes, And someday I'll get back to you

"Follow me down Maiden Lane Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know." She sang her tunes with a half smile at the bittersweet story the song entails.

"Katniss" A soft whisper came from the doorway. She looked at the clock, it was seven.

"Mom Prim I didn't think you'd be home until-" She stopped as she stared at the door way. Her mouth gaped open. "You're..." She smiled.

He glided to the bed and took her hands. "Real" He whispered kissing her.


	4. Chapter 4

"But I thought you were-" She started.

"Off fighting a war?" He asked smiling broadly, "Why my dear that ended a while ago." He joked lovingly.

"What are you doing home?" She asked near tears.

"Well you want the honest to god truth?"

"Yes!"

"They deemed me mentally unstable" He laughed, "Coin was about to kill Snow and I kind of shot her in the head"

"The noble Peeta Mellark shot someone!?" She asked not sure if she should be proud or disturbed.

"Yes" He chuckled his blonde locks falling into his eyes. "They said I had gone mad and therefore was unfit to resume my duties as a soldier so they sent me here"

She smiled so much it hurt. "Well then welcome home, my brave soldier" She took his hands and kissed them.

"Mentally unstable soldier"

"Of course" She laughed he kissed her again his lips were cold but never-the-less she felt electricity shoot through her.

"How are my princesses?" He asked feeling her stomach.

"Well Mother refuses to let me do anything"

"As she should" He laughed and she glared at him playfully. She knew even past the thick coat of teasing he was quite serious.

"Anyway, I picked a first name for her"

"Oh?"

"Say hello to your daughter, Peony" He smiled so widely she was sure it brought him discomfort.

"Hi Peony, daddy's home" Katniss bunched up the fabric over the baby. His cold hands found their way to the baby's strong kick and he laughed, "I missed you too"

"Would you like to pick her middle name?" She asked and thought he would cry at the words she spoke.

"Elaine"

"Well that was fast" Katniss laughed.

"Katniss, I've been in love with you ever since we were five. Did you really think I never thought about kids ever?"

"Good point"

"It means the most beautiful. Because that's what she'll be the most beautiful girl since her mother" He kissed her lips with softness.

"I... I love you" She stuttered making her heart fly at the words. He closed his eyes and sighed with content. Katniss knew his exact thoughts without a stumble.

This was what he had always wanted Katniss to say she loved him, pregnant with his child.

"No" She said, "Your not dreaming" She put her hand on his rugged face.

Then he started to cry, "Thank god" he embraced her tightly. "I'll never let anything bad happen ever again" He whispered.

She said nothing she kissed his cheeks and held his cold hands to her face warming them. "Happy late birthday" She smiled.

"The best present I could have ever gotten that day was finding you."

"Mother and Prim set up a nursery" She said, "I was advised to keep a crib in here for the first few months." She sent her fingers through his hair, "Maybe you could... Paint something nice for her" She smiles affectionately.

"When is she due?" Peeta asked eagerly.

"Two days ago" She laughed.

"Ah so Peony waited for me" He laughed along with her, "Thank you sweetie" He said to Peony.

"Mother thinks it be best for her to be born late rather than early."

"Yeah now I get to be here"

"Katniss!" Prim yelled from the bottom of the stairs "You awake?"

"Yes Prim" Katniss called.

"Good we brought home some-" Prim stopped cold seeing Peeta sitting on the side of Katniss's bed.

"Hi Prim I'm home." She squealed at the sight.

"You two are so lucky! I'm so happy for you!" She ran to the bed and jumped up and down. "Are you finally going to have a real wedding?"

"You know what little duck, I think we just might." Katniss squeezed his hand.

"Mom!" Prim shouted, "Peeta's home!" Running out the door and for the first time since they returned to twelve, she didn't look like she had been in a war. Her limp was hardly noticeable. Katniss could have cried.

"Mom!" She could hear Prim shouting from down the stairs.

Peeta chuckled, " Do you really want another wedding?" He asked eyes gleaming.

"Your my husband" She took his hand, "I want everyone to know" Katniss lifted her head to see her mother standing shocked in the doorway.

"..." She was searching for words and her confusion melted into admiration, "You can call me mom. Unless you plan on being as stubborn as my daughter and call me mother" She walked and joined the two placing her hands on his shoulders. "We'll be bringing up some dinner shortly"

They all ate in the main bedroom, Katniss, Prim, their mother, and Peeta. They smiled and talked about all sorts of things. Katniss honestly couldn't remember what they had said. She was busy enjoying it, savoring each smile.

That night Mother and Prim had gone. Peeta had crawled up right by her and for the first time since the second games he held her as they slept.

The next morning she knew two things, one it could hardly be considered morning because the darkness overwhelmed her. Two she was in labor.

It scared her at first, realizing it. The shooting pain in her back came on fast and the unexpected pain caught her off guard. She silently gasped for breath remembering Peeta was asleep.

The pain slowly faded away and she chose to attempt sleep.

That didn't happen quickly, she was stubborn and persistent. The pain would come and her eyes would snap shut. She would tell herself it wasn't happening, that the baby wouldn't come yet.

She finally fell asleep three hours later. When she woke up the second time the bed was vacant. She held her breath as the pain quickly intensified.

No, she told herself, I'm not... I'm not.

She breathed out heavily "Morning" She heard Peeta say from the doorway.

"Morning" She said in an even tone. He walked to the bed.

"What do you want for breakfast?" He asked brushing her hair lightly.

She wasn't hungry she was in pain and wanted to sleep, but she couldn't tell him that nothing was wrong with her. What would she say. Well maybe she could lie, "You know, your child has decided to kick my intestines. So I'm not very hungry at the moment"

He laughed and went to her stomach. "Peony stop hurting your mother." He said sweetly, "You are after all living inside her"

"Mom and Prim might need some help today." She spoke up, "I'm probably just going to sleep again. I'd feel bad if you were just staring at me all day."

"I like looking at you." He kissed her. "But I'll go see if they need help" He stood up to leave. "I'll be back by one" He said.

"Alright" She smiled. He left the room and she gripped her blanket for dear life.

The moment the door closed she let out an exasperated sigh, "No... I'm not going to have you today... I'm not" She said, not sure who she was trying to convince.

"You will not be born today" She said this over and over until another contraction hit.

"I told you no" She whispered as what started out as back pain crawled across her body. Her chest hurt when she breathed. Her stomach clenched and she felt nauseated.

"Peony I love you. But you will not be born today do you understand me?" She tried to ease her pain as it became more and more evident that it would not cease.

She sat up in her bed curling over when it got really bad. It helped very little or maybe the pain just got worse, she couldn't say which.

She felt sweat forming along her hairline, beading down her back she was sure she wouldn't be able to hid her discomfort from Peeta when he returned. She was sweating and it was forty degrees outside.

After about three hours of enduring excruciating pain she got the fabulous idea to attempt walking it off. She stood with much trouble, and once she took two steps she leaned heavily on the wall in front of her.

She swayed from side to side in an attempt to keep the pain at bay. Still believing she would not meet her daughter.

She bit down so heavily on her cheek she felt and tasted the blood oozing from the wound she made.

"Not today" She whispered "Not today" She turned to the side, placing one hand on her knee and bending forward. "Good god not today"

"Katniss, I'm home!"

"No" she said quietly. She heard each and every heavy step he took to reach the bedroom. She heard every distinct creak in the floor boards.

"What are you doing?" He asked in an almost scolding tone, "Your mom said not to get up."

She tried to speak she really did, but to no avail, her words died and were instead born as tears.

"What's wrong Katniss?" He asked taking her hand. She gripped him.

"I'm sure I'm just being a baby" She whispered.

"Come get back to bed" He coaxed her.

One step and she felt the rush of familiar pain. "Katniss?" Two steps a drip of what she convinced herself was sweat dripped down her right leg.

"Katniss?" He said again. Three steps a loose trickle of water.

"Peeta" She whispered crying still "Get my mother"

"What Katniss what's wrong?" Four steps and her water broke completely. "Katniss!"

"Go!" She cried. She could feel his apprehension exit as he did. she leaned heavily on the bed as she cried. She looked to the sky as if silently praying for an end to her pain.

She tried to convince herself she wasn't in labor, only now it was not only difficult but impossible.

She WAS in labor, and she WAS having her daughter today. So she cried now several times. Saying that this reality was not real.

She didn't even hear the door open, nor the stairs, and most certainly not the running that was happening all around her.

"Katniss" Her mother whispered, "Come on Katniss." Her mothers tone was even calm as she helped Katniss to bed. "Katniss, tell me how long have you been in pain?"

Prim had just run into the room with towels.

"Since four this morning." She cried.

Her mother sighed disapprovingly, "How far apart is that pain?" She asked as Peeta dropped the buckets of water he was carrying and fell on his knees to hold her hand.

"I-... I don't know" She cringed and moaned exponential pain crept through her.

"Alright Katniss" Her mother said, "You're at eight centimeters which means the baby is almost here"

Suddenly fear was stronger than the pain. She shook her head so fast she was afraid of whiplash. "No..." She stuttered.

"What did you say?" Her mother asked.

"N-no... I'm not... I'm not having her today! She won't... I'm not-" She was cut off by her own gasp of breath.

"Katniss, it will be okay" Peeta tried to sooth her.

"I don't think you can have kids so until you can don't tell me it's okay!"

"Katniss" He mother sighed ringing out a wet cloth. "I know your scared." She slipped to her side and started to sop up her sweat, "I was scared too."

"What if it didn't work?" She asked crying, "What if the war doesn't change anything? What if she has to be reaped?"

"Katniss" Peeta spoke, "I can promise you the world will get better. Before I left we voted on whether on not we should continue the hunger games in the capitol and it was out voted."

She still cried, "She's been safe in me. This worlds not safe" She breathed heavily her entire body shaking.

"It's a safer world then the one you were born into." Her mother whispered. Katniss gripped with her free hand her mother took it. "She will grow up in a world full of love, and hope, and strength, and courage because you are her mother. She may never know war, or of games where children are killed. Because you fought for her to have that life. You have to believe that she will live a better life than you did."

"I'm scared" This she had never thought she would ever admit to anyone.

"You have every right to be." Her mother whispered, "But right now you are having a baby and she will be a fighter so long as you are right now."

Katniss cried out and squeezed Peeta's hand as hard as she could, "Mother" She moaned.

"Prim is everything ready?"

"Yes mom" Prim seemed to sprint into the room..

Katniss almost couldn't handle it. She felt Peeta's reassuring hand stroking her sweaty forehead. She felt his lips on her hand. She began to feel so much intense pain that it seemed to no longer come and go.

It was dark now but lucky for them electricity was still a thing in their home.

Katniss continued to believe that seeing her baby would drive the fear from her mind. She breathed heavily, concentrating on the only thing that mattered at the moment.

"Katniss, It's time" Her mother said softly as if she were trying to not provoke her. She nodded rapidly. Her mother smiled a tight smile, "Alright."

She gave Prim instructions before turning to Katniss, "When the next contraction comes, we're going to have you push okay?" Katniss nodded.

"You can do it Katniss" Peeta said encouragingly.

Katniss wanted to yell, _I know I can I was built to do it!_ But she didn't retaliate at all because she heard her mother tell her to push. So she did.

She held her breath the first time which was admittedly a dumb mistake. She fell back on propped up pillows gasping for breath.

"Come on Katniss she almost here" Her mother encouraged. She gripped Peeta's had extremely hard, she bit down hard as she pushed again.

"I can see her head" Her mother smiled as Katniss fell back again, "You can do it"Katniss never felt so much pain at one time.

Suddenly however it was gone and replaced pain with exhaustion. As this happened she heard the faint cries of an infant she had heard once before when Prim had been born.

"She's here" She heard Peeta say excitedly and she felt his lips brush her temples.

Katniss's eyes fluttered open. She heard the little girl but she couldn't see her. Peeta's hand slipped from hers and she watched him leave her side.

She fought off sleep as her daughters cries got louder and louder. Until they faded and all one could hear was the affectionate whispers from her mother, Prim, and Peeta.

Katniss slipped into a state of near unconsciousness. She swore she felt every muscle in her body release.

She could feel the aching quiver in her bones. She was drifting slowly from reality.

"Katniss" She heard, her slightly blurred eye sight made her blink. She saw Peeta reaching her no doubt their daughter cradled in his arms. "She's perfect" he said placing Peony right on her chest.

Katniss lifted her fatigue ridden arms to cradle the small little girl. She had dark tuffs of hair, and large blue grey eyes which she knew would become silver. Her nose was like Katniss's but her lips and eye shape were like Peeta's. She smiled warmly, "Hi Peony" She whispered, "I'm your mommy" She kissed the little girls head, "That's daddy" She smiled as Peeta kissed Katniss's cheek, "And we love you more than you may ever know."

* * *

_Hello loves, I has a surprise for you... I'm getting the next part done! Yay! And guess what? Things are about to get adorable and funny._


	5. Chapter 5

_Whoops! Seems I made a dumby mistake that a guest told me about no I do not own the song Katniss sings to her daughter it's called maiden lane by Alicia Lemke. And this one she sings here is called Someday by Chloe Agnew. Sorry for the major delay my grandfather died on the Monday before Thanksgiving and so I've been extremely preoccupied sorry to keep y'all waiting. Thanks y'all continue._

* * *

It was no secret that Peony Mellark was a mamas girl. It wasn't apparent to someone who had never met the family before. But everyone in district twelve and even certain families beyond knew.

Katniss claimed that it was because of her being pregnant in the Capitol. Since she would talk to her little princess constantly always promising to keep her safe she grew attached to her mother.

It first became apparent - her partialness toward her mother - when about six days after being born she smiled for the first time when Katniss laughed.

Her first word was mama, which you would think wouldn't be that big of a deal. When learning to walk her first steps were towards Katniss.

When they tried to coax her to her father she would fall back down on her mothers feet.

After night terrors she would cry for her mother. When she got older she was taught to make sweet bread by her dad and she would always give hers to her mother.

Katniss felt bad in a way, though Peeta always said she shouldn't. He was the one who wanted kids after all and the only one they had.. well wasn't quite what they had imagined.

Peony looked like Katniss though the shape of her eyes and her lip shape were inherited from her father. She acted like her father though, always caring and protective of her mother.

Katniss had made an executive decision when she stopped taking her contraceptive. She hid the fact she was trying to get pregnant from everyone. Her two and ten month year old daughter liked to ask her mother for a little brother or sister at which she would always respond, "We'll see"

She constantly convinced Peeta to... And right before she would say, "Don't get me pregnant now" at which they would both laugh.

She remembered now on the day of February sixteenth that she was due. So imagine her surprise when she wakes up to find mother nature has not yet paid her a visit.

Excitement coursed through her and though she tried not to get her hopes up too high they were still rather high.

That was the day that they received a wedding invitation to Gale and Johanna's wedding (She won the vote and I didn't even know that Madge died so imagine my shock when people said 'please make Madge alive' O_o... continuing le story)

Katniss held her hopes that maybe there was a baby inside her for a whole two weeks. She was positive that she was going to have a baby.

It was an unusually warm early spring the constant breeze made it feel like wet air still hung around even though everything had already begun it's transformation into it's green life like state and no longer needed the water to grow.

Katniss, Peeta, and Peony were all out in their back yard enjoying the fresh air.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Katniss had asked leaning back in her chair watching Peony run through the grass, "Gale finally getting married."

"Yeah." He laughed, "I always thought they'd be good together."

"Oh did you now?" She asked.

"Yes. She could kick his ass into a corner AND train him to be a good boy" They both laughed.

As they did the pressing storm rolled in blocking out the sun. Katniss saw Peeta tense up. She knew why of course it reminded him of the arena when she was taken from him and when the Capitol ripped apart their family.

"Peony come on time to go in" Katniss stood up and shouted. Peony turned and skipped over to her mother.

"Mama!" She called, "Why's the sky gettin darker?" She asked this in a childlike fashion.

"Because sweetie." She said as she picked up the little girl, "It's going to rain" The little girl wrapped her small arms around her mothers neck.

"Daddy are you gonna scare away the wain?" she asked slightly scared.

He smiled affectionately, "Of course princess" They ate their dinner listening to Peony tell her story of the make believe people she met and the make believe world that she had saved.

"Come on princess" Peeta picked her up. "Bath time and then bed"

"Mama, will you tell me a story before bed?"

"Yes princess" Katniss smiled clearing the table as Peeta carried the girl up stairs.

Katniss washed the dishes and started to fantasias about the new baby. She hoped for another little girl because she saw how much Peeta adored Peony when she was just a small baby. She remembered how her loved to kiss Peony's soft skin, how he loved to say things just to make the little girl laugh. He would like another girl.

She wondered if it would be a boy and she imagined her little mini Peeta toddling around the house playing with his older sister.

She strolled dreamily up the stairs and walked leisurely through a puddle of water... Wait.

"Peeta Mellark!" She shouted through the closed door to the bathroom.

"Shh" He said and she heard Peony giggle.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed a towel from the linen closet and began to sop up the water.

She threw the damp towel into the dryer before heading up the stairs to change into her own pjs. She walked through the house to Peony's bedroom, where she saw Peeta playing with Peony.

Peeta had painted a lovely room for Peony, light pink walks with a cluster of butterflies and flowers. Peony adored it, a few stuffed animals cluttered the carpeted ground. Peony had a rather small white wood bed and matched dresser set that always seemed to bring a youthful feel about.

"Bed time" She laughed, "Not play time." He picked up Peony and kissed her cheek with a soft intensity.

They tucked her into bed and Katniss told her the story of the little princess. Katniss went to sleep with Peeta holding her close.

She woke up at two in the morning feeling a wave of morning sickness crawling inside her. The heavy pounding of rain against the glass window agitated her senses. She slipped silently out of his grasp and into the bathroom.

She was sick once and then heard soft muffled cries. As soon as she was sure she would be fine she walked into her daughters room. The soft dim light of Peony's night light illuminated Peony's tear stained face.

"Peony sweetie it's okay" Katniss glided to her daughters bed. Peony wrapped her tiny arms to Katniss. Katniss lifted her daughter cradling her. "It's alright" She whispered as thunder crashed outside. Peony cried softly into her mothers breast.

Katniss knew the only way to sooth her daughter. "_Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow, Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes And when again they open, the sun will rise._

_"Here it's safe, here it's warm, Here the daisies guard you from every harm, Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true, Here is the place where I love you.-_"

Thunder crashed cutting off her song. "Mama" She whispered, "I dreamed that the meadow flooded"

Katniss sighed bouncing Peony softly searching her own memory for a lullaby. She had a sudden memory. Because once upon a time when her father was alive still her mother had done this very thing to her.

Her father was sick and the rain had made Katniss cry. her mother had sung her the sweetest melody, 'But Katniss,' she whispered, 'you must never sing this to anyone because if the Capitol hears it they will kill you okay?' Katniss had nodded and the lullaby had made her calm. Now she would sing it for her daughter.

_"Someday when we are wiser, when the world is older. When we have learned I pray, someday we may yet live to live, and let live._

_"Someday life will fairer need will be rarer, and greed will not pay. God speed this bright millennia, on it's way, let it come someday._

_"Someday our fight will be won then, we'll stand in the sun, in that bright after noon. _

_"Till then on days when the sun is gone, we'll hang on. If we wish upon the moon._

_"There are some days dark and bitter. Seems we haven't got a prayer. But a prayer for something better, is the one thing we all share._

_""Someday when we are wiser, when the world is older. When we have love and I pray, someday we may yet live to live, and one day, someday._

_"Someday life will fairer need will be rarer, and greed will not pay. God speed this bright millennia, on it's way, let it come if we wish upon the moon._

_"One day someday, soon. Someday soon."_

She kissed the little girl's head, Peony's eyes were glazing over with tiredness and her medium length brown hair covered her eyes slightly.

She started to tuck Peony into bed when the tired girl spoke up. "Mama will you sleep with me tonight?"

Katniss smiled and nodded. Peony's small fingers knotted themselves into Katniss's hair. Katniss climbed over Peony and curled up behind her. "I love you mama" She whispered falling asleep.

"I love you too princess" Katniss whispered kissing her head. She fell asleep almost immediately after her daughter.

Peeta woke up at his usual six thirty time slot. Something was missing, Katniss. She never woke up before him. She would only go hunting in the late afternoon when he came home from work.

He got up in a frenzy along with a whirlwind of clothes he raced through the house through the barren kitchen and toy cluttered living room.

He slipped clumsily into Peony's bed room where he found the both of them soundly asleep.

He smiled savoring the scene of the woman he loved and their child sleeping until Peony rub her eyes, "Daddy?" She whispered.

"Morning princess" He smiled kissing her cheek. He picked her up, and she leaned her head on him. "Come on I'll go make you some breakfast."

She nodded before speaking, "Daddy, I had a really weird dream last night. You and mommy were in some weird cave thing. It was raining and you were hurt really bad. I don't think I was there but she was crying because she thought you were gonna leave her.

"You didn't say anything but you told her to take care of aunty Prim. She kept crying and yelling at you that you weren't gonna die and that you couldn't leave her. You said that you might.

"Daddy you wouldn't leave mommy right?" She asked he was trying to hold back his tears.

"No Princess I'd never leave mommy"

"Why are you shaking daddy?"

"Because Peony... I love your mother in a way I hope you someday learn to love someone." He said as a tear fell down his face. Peony kissed the tear and put her forehead on his cheek.

"I love you daddy" She whispered.

"What do you want for breakfast Princess?" He asked bringing a smile back to his face. He made her a small bowel of cereal. "I'm going to wake up mommy." He said kissing her head as she ate.

He made his way up the stairs and into Peony's bed room. "Katniss." He whispered in her ear.

Her eyes fluttered half way. She turned to see Peeta hovering over her his warm breath in her ear. "Morning" She whispered kissing him.

"Why are you in our daughter's bed?"

"She was crying because of the storm" She said.

"Not the dream?"

"Dream?" Peeta recalled the dream Peony had witnessed. "Oh... No wonder she said that the meadow was flooding." Katniss whispered the last part.

"I have to go to work." Peeta laughed. "Peony's down stairs." He left the room and Katniss maneuvered her way out of the small bed.

"Hi princess" Katniss smiled getting down the stairs and into the kitchen. Peony turned to face her mother. "Are you ready to go to Aunty Delly's for a sleepover?"

The little girls eyes shimmered with excitement. "She's coming over when the small hand on the clock is on the six," Katniss smiled, "Can you tell me what time that is?"

"Six o'clock!" She smiled widely.

"Good girl" Katniss praised. Delly had a two and a half year old son, and a nine month old son. Delly had married a soldier from district thirteen when they moved to twelve.

It was no surprise to Katniss that Delly was pregnant the moment they got married and it was no surprise that she was six months pregnant at the moment. Delly and her husband Mark love one another and children.

"I get to play with somebody!" She squealed.

"You play with daddy and me all the time. And aunty Prim and grandma. You play with Uncle Gale and Aunt Johanna when they come over. You play with Uncle Haymitch too."

"Yeah mama but some one who is my age almost!" Peony laughed. "Mama, Why is there only a few kids in town?"

"Well..." Katniss started, "Because a lot of people were needed in another district so a lot of families moved away. But people are starting to move back now the it's rebuilt." It wasn't a total lie.

"Okay mommy" Peony said finishing her breakfast. Katniss helped Peony clean up her room and the living room. Peony was more than excited to pack her things for her sleep over.

Katniss made her lunch and that's when she asked, "Mommy, Why does everyone talk to Aunt Delly's belly?"

"Because, Aunt Delly, and Uncle Mark are having a baby Peony" Katniss laughed.

"But daddy said babies come from the stork"

"No princess," Katniss laughed. She made a mental note to talk to Peeta about that, "Babies come from mommies. There's a baby in Aunt Delly's belly."

"But they already gots a baby"

"Yes but little Jeremy is going to become a big brother"

"Oh..."

"You want to be a big sister someday don't you?"

"Yeah, but he can't teach it stuff yet 'cause he can't talk" Katniss smiled her daughter. She didn't say anything but instead imagined Peony instructing her little brother or sister on how to color or play with blocks. She imagined Peony's frustration when the little one disobeyed her.

"Why don't you get your things ready?" Katniss picked her up out of her chair and set her on the ground so Peony could hurry up the stairs while she could clean up their lunch.

Peeta came home at five as usual to his work schedule. "Daddy, Daddy!" Peony ran to him with her favorite teddy bear in hand that Annie, Finnick, and little Fin had given her for her second birthday. "Mr. Snuggles wants a kiss before we leave tonight"

"Does he now?" He bent down to be eyelevel with her.

"Yeah he's scared to sleep away" she held out the worn bear.

Peeta kissed the bear, and then said, "How about a kiss for my brave girl?" She giggled and ran into his open arms. He lifted her up and kissed her warmly.

"Peony" Katniss spoke up "Why don't you show daddy the drawing you made today?"

"Daddy!" The little girl dragged her father through to the living room and showed him a scrawled image that no one was sure what it truly was.

"It's beautiful Peony." Peeta said. Katniss heard a knock at the door.

"Aunty Delly's here!" Peony ran to open the door, "Aunt Delly!" She squealed.

"Hi Peony" Delly smiled.

"Aunt Delly mommy says there's a baby in your belly."

"There is sweetie" She says. "Come on Jacob can't wait to see you." Katniss handed Delly Peony's over night bag.

"Thanks Delly"

"My pleasure." Delly said as Peony took Delly's hand, "Let's go sweetie"

"Have fun" Katniss calls out closing the door. She walks over to the window where Peeta was standing. "The stork?" She asked.

"What?" He laughed wrapping her in his arms.

"The stork? You told her a giant bird brings peoples babies!"

"That's what my dad told me when I was her age. I didn't find out where babies really came from until I was ten." He began to kiss her neck softly.

She hesitated to speak and soon his ear was right next to her mouth just begging her to say it.

"What were we going to tell her when I started showing?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked amused. Not fazed at all with the news.

"I'm pregnant" She said. She felt his muscles tense. He stopped moving and she smiled finally having told someone. He pulled from her and she saw tears in his eyes "Oh... I'm" She said startled by his reaction.

He fell to his knees, she was really worried because for god sake he was crying on the floor. His forehead touched her flat stomach and his hands rested on her hips.

She patted his back trying to not feel bad for the emotional scaring she apparently caused.

He lifted her shirt and kissed her. "I'll be here, I promise. I won't miss a second" Then he began to laugh.

"Are you laughing?" She asked slightly put off. He looked up at her eyes gleaming and tears falling down his face. She tapped his head, "Don't you dare do that ever again!" She said legitimately angry.

He stood up grinning stupidly and gathered her in his arms spinning her. "We're having a baby" He set her down and kissed her.

"Another baby" She reminded him.

"You're pregnant!"

"Yes"

"Are you sure?" He asked trying to not explode,

"I'm three weeks late. And I have been pregnant before. I think I should know"

"I love you" He said throwing himself into her arms. "I love you so much"

"I love you too" She smiled. They stood there for a while he held her tightly. They had a quiet evening Peeta made dinner and constantly told Katniss to stop working.

"Peeta Mellark I am pregnant not crippled!" She shouted at him as she began to clear the table.

He took her hand, "Say it again" He whispered.

"Peeta Mellark, I Katniss Mellark am pregnant with your child NOT crippled." He laughed as she took their plates to the sink.

He walked up behind her as she did the dishes, "How did I get everything I ever wanted?"

"Well, let's see. You fought to the death in an arena with other children. You fought a war" He laughed at her words.

"Yeah I guess those things did happen." He sighed, "But now you're here." He brushed his lips to her cheek, "I'm here" He kissed her head, "We're married." He kissed her other cheek, "We have the most beautiful little girl anyone could imagine." His hands roamed down her sides, "And now another one on the way." His hands caressed her stomach.

She laughed, "So you imagined me a stereotypical house wife did you?"

"Never" He kissed her again.

"Good" She dried her hands off. He laughed at her, she wanted to enjoy his company, his protectiveness. The first time she was pregnant he had been absent.

Now he was going to be down her throat all the time. Fun.

She slipped into her pjs, and then into their bed. He was already propped up on his arm as she turned to face him.

"What?" She asked before turning off the lights.

"Just hoping this is real"

"It is," She whispered as the lights went off, "It is"

The next morning Katniss was in a world of pitying hate. She was sick again and at six o'clock in the morning it most certainly isn't a fun time to vomit. No time is a fun time to vomit.

She crawled back into bed at around four thirty and some how did not wake Peeta. She sighed deeply and felt her stomach, "You are not cooperating." She whispered before falling to sleep.

Peeta however woke from a wonderful nights rest. Happy as could be he prepared breakfast for his perfect wife.

There was a knock at the door the moment he had finished baking. "Daddy!" Peony ran into his arms the moment he opened the door.

"Hiya princess" He kissed her cheeks before setting her down. "Go on upstairs now"

"Okay!" She skipped over to the stairs as he began to converse with Delly.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Little Peony bounded into her mother's room.

Katniss was startled at first and then felt the expressive pain of her morning sickness. The food Peeta had made burned her senses as her daughter jumped on her bed, "Wake up ma'am!"

"Sweetie, Peony mommy's sick okay?" The toddler crawled onto her mother's stomach. Katniss didn't know if she threw her daughter or carefully placed her like she had done in her mind when she ran into the bathroom.

"Mommy?" Peony called slightly horrified, "What's wrong?"

"Blame your father" She whispered hoping her little girl hadn't heard her.

Needless to say Peony heard her. The little girl sprinted down the stairs. She reached her father who was still talking to Delly "Daddy, you made mommy sick!" The little girl scolded.

Peeta turned to her and smiled, "What did you say Peony?"

"You made mommy sick!" She yelled again.

"What do you mean?"

"You made mommy throw up!" She stomped her foot on the ground.

"Peeta is Katniss alright?" Delly asked but he didn't answer her he ran up to where his wife was.

Katniss balanced on her toes and hands, she needed focus. She wanted quite alone time, she held her head up closing her eyes tightly.

"Katniss?" She heard Peeta come up behind her this prompted her next retching session. She felt his hand glide over her fore head to pick up any stray hair. His other hand stroking her back.

She leaned back into his chest when she had finished. He held her there for a moment before taking her in his arms.

"I'm fine" she choked out.

"No... you're not." He said carrying her to their bed and placing her under their blankets. He kissed her head before heading down stairs.

"Daddy! What did you do to mommy!?" Peony demanded an answer.

"Nothing princess" He said reaching her eyelevel.

"Don't lie to us Peeta" Delly said placing her hands on Peony's shoulders.

"Goodbye Delly we'll see you on the train next week" Peeta said lifting his daughter.

"I'm not going next week"

"Why?"

She put a hand on the baby, "This little one. I'm not allowed to travel now that I'm in the third trimester."

"Really?"

"Yes Peeta, times have changed since Katniss was pregnant, don't be so shocked." Delly smiled.

"Oh well I'll see you..."

"Whenever I suppose." Delly said sort of forgetting the entire conversation "I gotta go, Jeremy learned to stumble walk recently and Jacob has been know to let him walk into walls."

"By" He waved as she walked out of the house. He closed the door and picked up Peony.

"Daddy, what's wrong with mommy?" Peony asked again.

"Let's go see mommy, huh?" He took her up the stairs and sat down on their bed. "Are you well enough to tell her?"

"Again, NOT CRIPPLED!" She said sitting up, "Peony," She sighed buying herself time to find the right words, "Do you remember how I told you that there is a baby in Aunt Delly's belly?"

The little girl nodded trying to squirm out of her fathers arms. "Well Daddy and I put a baby in my belly."

Peony gave Katniss a quizzical look, "Peony you're going to have a little brother or sister." Katniss smiled. The little girls face lit up into a smile.

"I'm gonna be a big sister!" She squealed.

"Yes princess" Peeta bounced her before putting her down on the bed, "The baby just made mommy a little sick."

Peony crawled over to her mother and put her hands on Katniss's stomach, "Don't hurt mommy baby!" The little girl scolded. Katniss could have cried. Her little girl and another baby, this was the life she never thought about having, and now look at her.

"Uncle Haymitch wants you to help him with his geese. But Peony," Katniss said gaining the little girls attention, "You need to keep the baby a secret okay?"

"Okay!"

"Promise?"

"Pinky swear!" She held out her littlest finger and wrapped it around her mothers.

"Have fun" Katniss sent her out of the room. Peony skipped out to Haymitch's house. "Alright" Katniss sighed, "Time to start the day," She threw the covers off her legs and swiveled out of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Peeta asked wide eyed.

"Getting up."

"No... You shouldn't" He went to her side and forced her back into bed, "Don't strain yourself, just relax."

"Take some of your own advice" She laughed, "I'll be fine. Again I've done this before"

"Katniss, please just for today, we leave in a few days for district two and I'm already worried about doing that."

"Why?"

"Delly isn't going because she's not allowed to travel."

"Get a grip Mellark," She said now stern, "She's six months pregnant I'm barely one."

"But-"

"No Peeta, everything will be fine" Katniss won that argument but the next day lost the one about hunting. That was a definite no for the next nine months. Monday Katniss woke up with the same retching she had two nights ago only this time he woke up with her.

"Do you want me to tell Johanna and Gale we can't make it?" He asked as he helped her back into bed.

"No" She answered, "I'll be fine in an hour. Tops"

"You sure?"

"Yes, now hurry, we don't want to be late"

He reluctantly went back into the bathroom to pack what remained unpacked before coming back into the bedroom, "You sure?"

"Yes" She sighed, this down her throat protectiveness was definitely something to get used to. "I'll go get Peony" She tenderly stood up allowing her stomach to settle.

She walked down to Peony's room. "Sweetie" She roused her, "Come on we're going on a trip"

Peony rubbed her eyes, "Where mama?"

"To visit Aunt Johanna and Uncle Gale. Aunt Annie and Uncle Finnick will be there with Fin and Lilly."

"Okay," The little girl yawned. Katniss picked her up and handed her the clothes they laid out the night before, "Do you think you can dress yourself?" The little girl nodded.

"That's my big girl." Katniss smiled. "I'll be back in a minute." Katniss changed into her own clothes and brushed her hair into her signature braid.

"Mama?" Peony asked while Katniss brushed the little girl's hair into two braids. "Can I bring Mr. Snuggles?"

"Of course."

"Will I see grandma and Aunty Prim?"

"Yes you will"

"What about Uncle Haymitch?"

"Well he has to care for the Geese while his little helper is gone." She said "Daddy's waiting downstairs." Katniss picked up the little girl and made her way to the kitchen.

She set her into the high chair and gave her some of the toast Peeta had made.

"Katniss" Peeta said, "You know I don't want you to go right?"

"I got that" She sighed, "In all honesty I will be fine Peeta you are the only one freaking out"

"That's because I'm the only one who knows."

"Please just be calm, it only gets more hectic as time goes on and let's face it neither one of us needs that." Katniss took his hand and pleaded with him.

He sighed in defeat and they left for District Two.

Peony ran around the compartment jumping and spinning and then crashing around noon, leaving her parents in the silence after an argument lost.

Once in district two Peony was back on her feet jumping and dancing all the way to Gale and Johanna's.

They knocked on the door and Gale opened it swooping Peony into his arms and spinning her so she squealed.

Johanna eyed his actions with a skeptical eye that was surely playful. "I really hope he doesn't break something like the last time you guys were here." Peeta blushed.

"That's not tradition?" Katniss asked.

"Don't give him an idea" Johanna warned as they walked into the well sized house.

They talked about Peony on request from Johanna to talk about anything but the wedding.

For the next three days they talked about anything other than the wedding and welcomed friends from the war. Katniss and Annie were Johanna's only bridesmaids.

This was perfectly fine with the three of them because they don't mind the quaintness of a small group of friends.

The next morning the morning of the wedding Annie volunteered to take all of the kids to the babysitters before getting ready.

Katniss headed to Johanna's room, "Jo? Can I come in?" She knocked. There wasn't a sound in reply.

"Jo?" Katniss asked opening the door. Her eyes immediately widened at seeing her friend hunched over on the floor shaking with sobs.

"Jo what's wrong?" Katniss asked kneeling next to her.

"Go away" She said.

"What happened?" She moved Johanna in to her arms.

"Go" She demanded again.

"Jo you're getting married today." Katniss said, "Is that what's wrong? Are you scarred?"

"No... I just... No just go... Please."

"Jo-"

"I love him I do it's not the wedding I'll be fine just leave me alone."

"I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours"

"Such a child Kitty" Jo laughed, "still trading secrets"

"Please?" Jo cried softly for a while longer.

"I'm... I didn't want to get married it's just the situation" Jo said, "Never wanted to get married but now..."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant" She was shaking and she clutched Katniss's side.

"How far?"

"eleven weeks." She sighed.

"You're scarred?"

"Yes" Her voice was small.

"The great Johanna scarred of something inside her."

"Shut up! like you know-... Sorry"

"It's fine" Katniss said, "Just think about it no war like with Annie and I, no games, no Snow. This world is not the one we grew up in."

"...I know... Your turn."

"I'm pregnant too." Katniss smiled.

"stealing my thunder." Johanna laughed. "How far?"

"eight weeks"

"... I'm a mess right?"

"No, you look ten times better than I did" Katniss laughed, "But let's make you less of a mess shall we?"

So that day two lives were joined as one. Joined together with the binds of love they vowed forever to stand with one another in matrimony.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mama!" Lily called out in her limited vocabulary, "Ah?" She asked pointing to Peony.

It was the day after the wedding, Finnick and Annie were staying in town for the day before heading back to Two and the same was for Katniss and Peeta.

"Ah?" Annie asked in return, "Use your words"

"Pay?" She asked. Annie laughed and brought her over to Peony so they could play with their dolls.

"But Daddy they're girls" Fin complained, "I wanna be with you"

"You'll learn to like girls someday" He laughed.

"Ew!" He gagged.

"Mommy's a girl and so is aunt Katniss"

"But their mommies!"

"Go on, they don't bite"

"Icky girls better not."

"I'm not icky!" Peony shouted.

"Icky!" Lily bounced.

The four parents watched their children argue as they will before starting their own conversation.

"The wedding was beautiful wasn't it?" Annie asked.

"Yes" Peeta responded, "They were made for each other."

"Or something" Finnick rolled his eyes. "Did you guys get the invite yet?"

"Much to my despair." Katniss rolled her eyes. "People suck."

"Did they ask you to bring..."

"Of course! That did doesn't mean we will."

"You know they won't be pleased"

"Who cares if they are or aren't" Katniss laughed, "I certainly don't. Are you going to bring either of yours."

"They only know about Fin and anything else would be a disaster waiting to happen."

"Why?"

"The great Finnick Odair has a child that can have children. Big no-no"

"Calm yourself you aren't that-... Well to me you aren't that desirable."

"Of course I'm not." He laughed.

Peony didn't pay attention to her parents when they sent Fin over. "I liked you better when you couldn't talk" She said as-a-matter-of-factly.

Lily giggled "Peeny! Peeny!"

"Yes Lil?"

"Ah?" She held out her doll.

"Alright let's play-"

"Dragon!" Fin said.

"No!" Peony scolded, "House!"

"I the evil warlock will steal princess Lily!" He announced to her picking up the little princess Lily and running.

"Hey!" Peony stomped her foot as he ran.

"Only Queen Peony can save her before I put her in the lava pit of my mountain!"

"Ugh!" Peony chased after him.

"Come on princess Lily lets put you up here." He sat her on the bench of the window.

"Stop that Fin-"

"I'm not Fin I'm a warlock!"

"Fine!" Peony gave in, "How do I save her?"

"You have to fight me!"

"How?"

"Like this" He pulled out his wooden sword.

"I don't have one of those" She sighed,

"Well then how will we duel?"

"I dunno"

"Fine then we'll have a tore-no-ment"

"A what?"

"A tore-no-ment" He said as if he had stated something plain and she was uneducated, "We have to um.." Fin picked up a blanket, "Play tug of war with this. And then... Have a spinning contest. Finally we have to count to six!"

Lily clapped her hands, "Tore-no-ment!" She squeaked.

"The princess has decided." Fin said, "On you marks get set go!" He held out the blanket tormenting.

"THEN we'll play house!"

"Fine" He grumbled as she picked up the blanket.

"Go!" She said and they tugged with all of their little might. Fin won in the end. Spinning ended in Peony winning and in counting farther than Fin.

"That's not fair!" He stopped his foot. "You're older than me!"

"It is too fair!"

"Not uh!"

"Yeah huh!"

"Nope!"

"Yes!"

Lily crawled over to the bickering toddlers. Being so young she had forgotten she was perched above them. She tumbled and cried out when she hit the hardwood. The adults ran in to caudle the crying but otherwise unhurt little girl.

* * *

When the family returned to twelve life moved on. Katniss spent the next few weeks in a rut of normalcy until she knocked on her daughters door one morning.

"Peony time to get up sweetie." She said as she opened the door to the little girl's room.

She opened the curtains to let in the musky light of the April morning and went over to her bed.

"Peony wake up" She said lifting the little girl from the small bed.

"Mommy" Peony rubbed her eyes. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean Princess?" Katniss asked. Before the little girl answered the phone rang. "Hello?" Katniss answered making her way through the house.

"Katniss is that you?"

"Yes... Who is this?"

"It's Annie"

"Hi Annie what's up?"

"Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" Katniss put Peony in her high chair.

"About the Nations?"

"The what?"

"The Nations it's all over the news and plastered to the walls in our district"

"What is that?"

"It's-"

**"Call waiting"** The phone interrupted Annie.

"Give me a few seconds real quick." Katniss picked up the new call, "Hello?"

"Kitty Kat, it's me Jo."

"Hey Jo"

"Um quick question how did you tell Peeta he was going to be a father?"

"... You all found me seven months pregnant without memory in the Capitol remember?"

"Fuck!"

"Jo!"

"What the little tyke can't hear me... You don't have me on speaker right?"

"No. Just slap him in the face with the news he's Gale if you're lucky he'll faint"

"Right okay"

"Wait you didn't tell him?"

"No! He's asked me to marry him eight times! He just thought I finally grew up!"

"Jo tell him."

"Fine later bye"

"Annie, I'm back."

"It's really bad Katniss."

"How bad are we talking?"

"Brink of war bad"

"Tell me everything" Katniss served Peony her breakfast and closed the door to the study or in reality it was really Peeta's painting room.

"Last night Finnick seemed really out of it so I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't tell me anything. Then this morning he's on the phone yelling at the Capitol so I walked away and went to the grocery store where there were televisions playing telling everyone to remain calm.

"It talked about something called the Nations so I went home and practically beat it out of Finnick. The Nations are the other continents."

"Continents?"

"We aren't alone Katniss, there are other places like us." Katniss sighed heavily, "That's not the worst part. They've been caught in a war on and off for the past oh I'd say seventy-eight years." Katniss almost fainted, "So now they want us to pick sides!"

"Well screw them!"

"I wish it were that easy, Katniss they're going to bring all the victors together and have us choose a side."

Katniss felt a wave of nauseousness overtake her "Hold on Annie" Katniss said making her way to the bathroom where she could be sick and have no interruption.

"Katniss?"

"Oh god" Katniss swallowed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" Katniss said and then without thinking, "It's just the morning sickness I'm sure..."

"What?"

**"Call waiting"**

"Got to go Annie!"

"Katniss Mellark-"

"Hello"

"He fainted"

"God damn it Jo!"

"What!?"

"Have you heard about the-"

"Nations? Yep! I heard about them before the wedding"

"Damn"

"Yep, They ask you to the Capitol yet?"

"No"

"Well clear your calendar kid, it's on the 26 of July!"

"Ugh!"

"You think you have it bad? I'm going to be seven months by that point!"

"I'll be six. Why does God hate us?"

"What God? Oh that's probably why, I don't have one!"

"Mama!"

"I think I left my child unattended." Katniss got out of the bathroom and gathered her daughter in her arms.

"Well what do I do about my lovely and extremely manly husband?"

"Make a big scene and call the ambulance or leave him until he wakes up."

"Well time to take a nice long walk!"

"Have fun oh and if Annie calls I never told her I was having a baby"

"Gotcha!"

"Bye" Katniss laughed, "Alright princess what do you want to do today?"

"I wanna... Paint!" So Katniss got Peony into the back yard and gave her paper and paints so she could finger paint to her hearts content.

Katniss brought the phone knowing Jo may call back and she might explain to Annie about the new baby.

She and Peony ran through the grass and played with her little play house before the phone rang. Which was in real time a good two hours.

"Hello?"

"Katniss Mellark what were you telling me earlier?"

"Goodbye" Katniss hung up she didn't really know why she was avoiding Annie she was just was.

"Mama!" Peony announced "I made a painting for my brother!"

"It's beautiful sweetheart. You want me to get more paper?" Peony nodded washing her hands in the little water basin beside her.

The phone rang and Peony picked it up fascinated.

"Hello?"

"Hi it's Finnick... Who is this?"

"Peony!"

"Hi Peony what are you doing?"

"I'm painting a picture for my little brother! I'm making one for my sister next! We aren't sure which it is yet. It's inside mommy's tummy!"

"Oh really?"

"Yeah mommy says my painting's beautiful!"

"I'm sure it is, can I talk to your mother?"

"Mama!"

"Yes sweetie?" Katniss closed the door behind her.

"Uncle Finnick wants to talk to you!"

"Hello?"

"Congrats!"

"Huh?"

"The new baby Peony just told me about"

"I hate you."

"I love you too, and for the record please stop freaking my wife out."

"I didn't mean to!"

"Yeah yeah"

"I didn't! Finnick you are not allowed to talk to me about having babies until you can have them!"

"Fine whatever, Annie she's pregnant!"

"Well I'm just! Bye!" Katniss hung up the phone and turned back to Peony who was carelessly playing with her paint set.

The phone rang in her hand, "Hello?"

"He's pissed"

"Jo?"

"Who else?"

"Why's he mad?"

"Because I only said yes to him because of the baby!"

"God- Put him on the phone."

"I told you she'd want to talk to you!"

"Jo?"

"You're on Speaker"

"Gale?"

"Yeah?"

"Alright this may be hard for you to understand but when a man and a woman love each other-"

"Ew really catnip? I'm an adult"

"Then act like one. You are going to be a father remember."

"Yep that's the only reason I'm a husband right?"

"Alright listen-"

"Jo Gale, shut up" Katniss said "Listen the point is, it takes love to make a baby-"

"Not necessarily-"

"Johanna would it kill you to play along?"

"Yes!"

"Anyway as I was saying you two have been together for three years and now you're having a baby. Is it so wrong that Jo wanted to have a legal family for your baby? And is it so bad that Gale wanted that commitment from you without the baby?

"For gods sake you've been married for a week and this is already tearing you apart?"

"I wouldn't say tearing us apart-"

"I would! You're acting like children you need to grow up before you have one!"

"Calm yourself Catnip"

"I will not!"

"Damn you're emotions are out of wack!"

"Shut your mouth!"

"What?"

"She's pregnant"

"I'm done!" Katniss shouted hanging up the phone. When the phone rang in her hand she ripped the batteries out.

"Mama!"

"Yes Peony?"

"Will you play with me now?"

"Yes I will" Katniss calmed down once she let her mind focus on her own life and her own child.

Katniss played with her little girl all through the day and was concerned when night came around a Peeta wasn't home.

Katniss dressed Peony and sent her to bed still waiting for Peeta's return. She incidentally fell asleep waiting for him and at midnight she woke to the pounding of the front door.

"Yes?" She asked answering the door.

"Mrs. Mellark?" A boy she did not recognize asked. He was a teenager and looked like he feared her.

"Yes?"

"Mr. Mellark wanted me to tell you he was going out of town"

"He never goes out of town"

"This time he has-"

"My husband never goes out of town. Tell me where he is."

"He told me not to tell you"

"I am his wife tell me where he is"

The boy started to leave, "But you already know"

"Know what?"

"He said... Nothing" And then he ran.

Katniss wanted nothing more than to wring her husbands neck. She went inside the house replaced the batteries in the phone and called Peeta at work.

"Hello?" a tired Peeta answered.

"Peeta, what the hell?"

"Who is this?"

"Who the hell do you think it is?"

"I don't know... Honest"

"Your wife, your pregnant pissed off wife!"

"Katniss?"

"No fucking Glimmer, YES Katniss!"

"I thought I sent-"

"Yeah you did and the kid is lucky I didn't hit him. Where are you?"

"I think I need to go to the Capitol Katniss"

"Why?"

"I need to tell them about the baby so they don't make you fight in the war"

"Peeta you don't sound stable are you okay?"

"I'm fine... What were we talking about?"

Katniss hung up the phone and grabbed her house keys locking every door in the house before running to the bakery.

The door was unlocked and she just walked in. She went straight to Peeta's office.

"Peeta?" She asked walking in finding him buried alive in papers.

"Katniss, what are you doing here?"

"Taking you home." She said helping him up.

"But I have to help-"

"Peeta no you're going crazy"

"I have to keep you and our children safe Katniss."

"Give me your keys to the car." She said and for some reason he obeyed. She helped him down the stairs.

"Katniss I have to make the world safe."

"We can't just do that Peeta." She said strapping him in the car and running back to lock the bakery. "You need to slow down, I have enough going on right now." She said beginning to drive.

"But Katniss what if the Nations power is too much for us? What if they make you fight?"

"Number one if I have to I will fight. Number two we have a long while until we know anything. Don't stress out yet okay?"

"But-"

"No I'm not listening anymore"

"I love you too much to lose you" Then he started crying.

"I love you too Peeta but you know what? We have survived two hunger games and a war I think bullets have just stopped trying to peg us and have started to avoid us. For god sake please"

He cried until they got home and Katniss brought him upstairs and changed him into his night clothes. She laid him out on the bed and pulled their blankets over him before crawling up beside him.

"It'll never be the same Peeta but I love you. We'll get through this I promise" She kissed him, turned off the lights, and fell asleep.

The next morning she got up before Peeta's set alarm. She turned the alarm off completely and called him out sick.

She went around the house cleaning before crawling back up with Peeta.

She laid with him until nine and then she dressed Peony and fed her. "Peony" Katniss started, "Why don't you play in your bedroom huh?"

"Okay mommy!" Peony ran up to her room so Katniss could check up on Peeta. He was just stirring when she reached him.

"Morning" She kissed him when his eyes fully opened.

"Were you sick do you need something?" He asked springing out of bed.

"Calm down it's eleven."

"What? I'm late"

"No you're not I called you out sick."

"Why?"

"Well I think we have a lot of things to talk over, plus today is my first check up for the baby." Katniss looked at him almost ashamed to talk about the baby at a time like this.

"Katniss I'm fine really"

"You sure about that? Then tell me what did I do last night?"

"... You called me"

"Yes and then?"

"..."

"Exactly let's talk this through... Please."

"Alright," Peeta sighed sitting up.

"Jo said we'll all be having a meeting in the Capitol July twenty sixth."

"Okay... You required to go?"

"Most likely." So they discussed ideas on how to deal with the whole predicament they found themselves and they did so the whole way to Delly's to drop off Peony and all the way to the hospital where they continued talking about it until Katniss was called into the exam room.

"You ready to see our baby?" She asked with a smile.

"What? How do we see it?"

"They have this machine called an ultrasound and it shows us the baby"

"Why didn't I know about that?"

"Because we didn't have a hospital until three years ago when they built it and thankfully we haven't needed it." He smiled and as she spoke he let his hand drift to the tiny bulge where his baby was growing.

"Everything will be okay right?"

"It always has ended up fine right?"

"Alright Mrs. Mellark I'm Dr. Copsen I'll be your prenatal practitioner which is your baby doctor. I'm required by law to give you my full title." She smiled warmly. "You ready?"

"I think so"

"Lovely weather we're having" She said as Katniss laid back and the doctor began tests, "Sucky politics but that's why I own my practice so I don't have to listen to all the sucky people."

She put away her tools and brought out the monitor for the ultrasound, "I'm not using worse language because the little one can hear us"

"Really?" Peeta asked amazed.

"Yes, babies can hear very early on in the pregnancy. You don't have to be too careful of what you say yet I don't think, but we'll figure that out right now." She placed the wand in the right spot the first time. "Here we are" She pointed to a smudge on the screen "Little baby has a very strong heart"

Peeta squeezed Katniss's hand smiling and near tears, "Why don't we listen?" So the room was filled with the soft swishing of the tiny baby's heart. "We have very tiny fingers right there. And we have ears! The little one can hear you now so when you leave if you want to start giving it rules on dating that would be great.

"From the looks of it I'd say you're at twelve weeks or three months?"

"Good guess" Katniss laughed.

"So that means, only a good two weeks until we can find out if the little sucker is a boy or a girl."

"Really?"

"Well technically I could tell you now but It's better to wait until the baby's grown more."

"Alright can we go?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah everything looks good," Dr. Copsen answers. So the two went to pick up Peony.

"Hey Delly" Peeta smiled when she opened the door.

"Hiya enjoy your little date?"

"Yep" He smiled, "You wanna see what we were doing?" Peeta asked anxiously.

Delly laughed and nodded, Peeta pulled out the picture the doctor had given them.

Delly Gasped "Well isn't she adorable?"

"She?" Katniss asked.

"I like guessing the gender. Congrats guys!" She started to cry when she hugged Katniss, "Sorry, I'm just pregnant and everything is just so wonderful!"

Katniss wished with all her heart that everything was wonderful. But she knew it wasn't she knew that there wasn't much hope of any kind in the war they were heading into.

* * *

_Merry Holidays! I'm proud of this chapter and I'd like to ask you all since I clearly have a whole huge plot planned out for our characters would you like two different stories because I know it's going to get super long fast please let me know and stay lovely!_


	7. Chapter 7

_ Before we start I would just like to say the first invite they all received was not for the meeting on the topic of the Nations, it was for the annual Hunger Games Memorial Service they hold in the Capitol no cameras for one day and then the day after they all catch up with the Capitol which most of them weasel out of for one reason or another XD anyway I was rereading it and I got confused so this should hopefully clear it up! _

_ And guess who took a semester of English classes and learned to use commas and correct homophones? ME! So I've re vamped the first 3chapters if you would like to know I'm not a dumb ass then please feel free to read, plus a little bonus stuff I left out the first time! If you would like more detail on a few things then I recommend rereading. _

_ Also I have a playlist for this chapter link is on my profile at the very bottom check it out if you want to completely lose it like I did. _

_ I'm not going to lie y'all this chapter was based on the funeral my grandfather had the day before Thanksgiving. I wrote this with him in mind and I don't usually cry for my own work. I'm sort of a cry baby but I hardly cry for my own stuff so that tells you how much this chapter just gets the feels going. _

_See you at the end my dear! _

* * *

"Peeta" Katniss sighed a few mornings before their departure for the annual Hunger Games Memorial Service. "I don't remember getting this big so fast when I was pregnant with Peony."

She felt her bulging stomach which looked more or less like she had stuck a melon up another shirt that didn't fit her.

She hated complaining because it was her idea to have a baby and he always looked at her with loving tender eyes now that you could actually see the baby growing inside her.

She felt bad that she was not happy when he was extremely so. He loved to talk to it all the time he liked to feel it as they fell asleep even though the baby never moved.

She didn't want to take any of that from him but at the same time she wasn't sure how much she could take of him watching her twenty-four-seven

He entered the bathroom and looked at her in the mirror she was scowling at, "God you're beautiful" He smiled.

"It's my boobs right?" She smirked at him, "Because it is not my clearly angry face that's pretty."

"You're always pretty" He kissed her forehead before leaving for work.

Katniss ran her hands up and down her stomach and then felt a familiar flutter. "You kicked me" She giggled, "Congratulations little one."

She wouldn't tell Peeta he missed the baby's first kick. She would just let him leave. She wanted to enjoy this baby as much as he did, but she wasn't sure she could.

This was their first pregnancy it was her second. "Peony" Katniss called out to her daughter, "You ready to go to the station to pick up Grandma and Auntie Prim?"

The little girl ran into her mothers arms, "I'm ready Mama!"

"Good" Katniss laughed carrying her until they reached outside where they walked. Peony's little hand in Katniss's they made their way to the station.

They sat right by the tracks Peony on Katniss's lap. The train rumbled by so quickly that when it came to a stop Peony had barely jumped into Katniss's arms.

Then just like nothing had ever happened people poured out of the train. Katniss had difficulty standing on her own and Peony jumped at her legs.

"Mama! Mama! Look it's Grandma!" She pointed a small finger to the fifty year old woman and the seventeen year old blonde girl coming off the train close to last.

"Auntie Prim Auntie Prim!" Peony ran up to her aunt who picked up the little girl.

"Hiya Peony how's my favorite niece?" She kissed the little girl before limping toward her older sister. "Hey Kat" Prim practically shouted over the crowd of people. She maneuvered her way over to Katniss to give her a hug. Prim put the little girl on her feet.

"Mom told me I have a little niece on the way." Prim felt her sister's stomach.

"Is that what she told you? I don't remember telling her it was a girl."

"Well we think it's another girl"

"Why does everyone think it's a girl but me?"

"Because we know best"

"Katniss" their mother joined them embracing her older daughter "How's my granddaughter?" She asked following what Prim had done.

"I'm not going to answer."

"Think it's a boy?"

"Yes"

"Well your father was convinced both of you were boys and look what happened there"

"Grandma! Grandma!" Peony hugged her legs.

"Hiya Peony did you miss me?"

"Yes" She giggled.

"I missed you too" She brought Peony into her arms and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"Oh crap!" Katniss said.

"What?"

"I forgot I have my ultrasound today" She handed her house keys to Prim, "I have to go" She kissed Prim, Peony and her mother before walking off to the hospital.

"Katniss, perfect timing" Dr. Copsen smiled. "I'm ready for you"

Katniss changed and sat immediately with her doctor. "How are we today?"

"The baby kicked," Katniss smiled.

"Good that's very good." Dr. Copsen began her exam, "I think you'll be fine to leave for the Annual Hunger Games Memorial Service. I know how much you victors love that thing."

"Oh yes look forward to it every freaking year."

"Do you want to know the gender?" Dr. Copsen asked prepping for the ultrasound.

"Yes"

"Is there a bet going on?"

"It's me against everyone else."

"Really?"

"I'm sure it's a boy and everyone else tells me it's a girl"

"Well we'll just see then" Dr. Copsen smiled, "You wouldn't believe how many people come in here telling me that lamps were broken over whether it was a boy or girl" She set some functions on the machine before turning to Katniss, "Ready?"

"Sure, I've done this before" She laughed.

"Alright look at that I think all the organs have grown and look there the little one has all it's facial features. And I do believe that your baby is a boy"

"A boy?"

"Yes ma'am. Congratulations it's definitely a boy"

"Hi little one your sister really wanted a brother" She laughed.

"Well you can tell her in any creative way you feel."

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. Here you go" She handed Katniss the picture of the baby.

"Thank you." She changed back and felt like she was bigger than she was this morning. She decided to go out on her own and buy her son some clothes and maybe think of a way to tell them it was a boy.

She bought little blue onesies and little blue elephant stuffed animals. She bought herself some maternity clothes which included a new shirt that had an arrow pointing to the baby that said I'm a boy! She put a jacket on over the shirt and headed home.

"What ever will I name you?" She asked. "Hm... Sterling? Alder? Ashton? Thorn? Ralph?" She was looking down at her son when she ran into a low hanging branch.

"Oh"Katniss laughed at her self for a moment before saying, "I wish you could see how green all the leaves are." He kicked a little when she said this.

"Leaf? Hmm? Leif? Do you like that?" He kicked again, "Alright Leif is your name." She smiled, "That was easier than naming your sister. She was hard to name. I think grandma will be thrilled with you. She's never had a boy before."

She made it home and found Peeta sitting at the table with her mother and Prim. She put her bags down and entered the dinning room.

"Miss me?" She smiled.

"I'm sorry I forgot." Peeta said shamefully.

"It's fine I almost forgot too." She laughed.

"So... Did you find out what the gender is?"

"Yes I did, I also got clothes that fit me for once. You want to see?"

"Sure Kat" Prim laughed. Katniss took off her jacket and everyone clasped hands over their mouths and gasped.

"We're having a boy?" Peeta stood up and went to her.

Katniss nodded "We're having a boy" he kissed her once she had spoken.

"Do you want to see him?"

"Yes" He said hastily. She took out the picture of the little baby boy.

"Peeta" She said, "That's our son, Leif"

"Leif?" Prim questioned

"He likes it." Katniss answered. "Look." She put Peeta's free hand on the baby. "Leif do you like your name?" A faint flutter brushed where Peeta's hand rested to affirm that he liked his name.

"You moved" Peeta said getting choked up. He got on his knees and pressed his forehead to Leif. "You're real now Leif"

"What was he before?" Katniss asked.

"A dream" Peeta said standing up. "I'll get Peony." He said running up the stairs to wake their daughter from her nap.

"Mom you want to feel your grandson?" Her mother stood up and hugged her daughter before caressing Leif.

"Guess what Leif? Mommy didn't call me mother because of you." Katniss rolled her eyes while her mother laughed.

"Prim?"

"I thought you'd never ask." She limped over to Katniss, "Hi Leif I'm your Auntie Prim and you are so loved that I don't know how your little heart hasn't exploded yet."

"Peony sweetie would you like to talk to your little brother?" Peeta reappeared with Peony.

"Can I really do that daddy?" she asked skeptically.

"Yeah, here." Peeta sat Peony on his lap so she was eyelevel with Katniss's stomach.

"Hi baby, I'm your big sister, Peony. I'll teach you how to say that later. I'm gonna teach you bunches of stuff like how to paint and swing and climb and how to be in a tore-no-ment. I'll be the bestest big sister you'll ever have and... I love you." She had her hands on Katniss's stomach the whole time she spoke, then she kissed Leif and every adult in the room awed at how adorable the scene was.

"His name is Leif, Peony"

"Leaf? Like the things that fall from trees?"

"Not really but that's how you say it."

"hmm... You're lucky mommy and daddy are good when it comes to names." She said as everyone laughed.

Peeta lifted the little girl up. "Daddy, can I go play now?"

He chuckled, "Sure princess." He kissed her before sending her on her way.

He enveloped Katniss in his arms. "I love you so much Katniss" She didn't respond but instead kissed his cheek to show she understood perfectly.

* * *

They woke up at six the morning before the Memorial. Katniss and Peeta were out the door long before eight o'clock that morning.

They got on the train and found themselves all alone in their compartment. Peeta let his hand circle Leif as Katniss laid in his arms. She fondly watched him as she found comfort in the couch they laid across.

"He'll be perfect" He said, "He'll be quick like you"

"And good with a bow"

"but we won't find that out until he's ten."

"You said the same thing with Peony" Katniss laughed, "Gale and I took her out when she was two" Then Katniss put her hand in Peeta's, "He'll be handsome just like his father and he'll be brave"

"Don't forget smart and kind"

"Peeta?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you think we'd ever end up here?"

"Not even in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined a world so perfect."

"...Jo's pregnant too" Katniss said suddenly.

"Already?" Peeta laughed, "That was quick"

Katniss sighed, "She's sixteen weeks now."

"Sixteen?"

"... That's why she finally said yes to Gale... Because she was pregnant" He was silent, "She didn't want me to tell anyone but we're going to see her and I didn't want you to be shocked."

"Well I am shocked... poor Gale."

"Poor Gale?" Katniss sat up and moved to face him.

"The only reason she married him was because of the baby."

"But they made the baby together that has to count for something."

"If it took out of wedlock pregnancy to marry them then it's not a stable relationship."

"Hey we had an out of wedlock pregnancy."

"Well yeah but that was different."

"Not really."

"No we didn't know you were pregnant when we got married."

"Yeah we thought we were going to die so that's acceptable but a baby isn't? Plus he didn't know she was pregnant until after they were married."

"Well no, we wanted to confirm our feelings for one another. She just did it so they wouldn't frown upon her and from the sounds of it she didn't want people to know anything."

"Do you really think Jo cares if people frown upon her? She'd just give them the finger!"

"Katniss the baby can hear you-"

"Oh believe me I know, I've been pregnant before. She just wanted to have a father for her child"

"Oh so that makes it better to play basketball with his heart?"

"She did not-"

"Does he know?"

"Yes now, I had to fix the-"

"If I were him I'd leave her..."

"Well then you sir get the title of ass."

"Katniss the-"

"I know the baby can hear me! For god sake Peeta I was pregnant before just because you weren't there doesn't mean it never happened!"

"That's not what I meant"

"Well too bad that's how I'm taking it. I was pregnant and I had no memory of anything what so ever. I didn't even fucking know I was a prisoner of war.

"I didn't know anything except I had to keep my daughter, my princess safe and I think I did a damn good job of that. So don't you dare try and tell me how to act."

"Katniss you're blowing this out of proportion-"

"I know I am but I know what I'm doing! I'm not going to purposely kill our child or...or hurt it or damage it in any way. I love our baby and I'm being as careful as I know I need to be from my pregnancy with Peony. I know what I'm doing."

"Are you sure? Because the way you act seems almost reckless."

"If I were reckless I would be going into the forest and hunting, I'd be drinking everyday, I'd do some other dumb thing I can't think of right now. Dr. Copsen said that Leif is exceptionally healthy. I do everything she tells me to because I love Leif just as much as you do. Stop forgetting that I've done this and know what I'm doing."

"But Katniss I don't know what I'm doing."

"What do you mean?"

"I wasn't there, you're right. Leif is the first time I've been around you when your pregnant. I terrified that I'll screw up, that I'm doing something wrong."

"It's not your job-"

"It is though! It's my job to protect you and our baby I couldn't protect Peony because you were worlds away and I didn't even know she was there. I want to do this right."

"But Peeta you can't just keep me locked up until he's born. It's really not your job to keep him safe until he's born."

"I don't want anything bad to happen to either of you."

"But Peeta" She smiled now, "If you think that something bad will happen. Something bad will happen."

He laughed and then she noticed how much he was hurting, "please stay safe Leif I'll save you if I have to but please stay safe" He leaned forward, kissed Leif, and just then the little boy kicked to let his daddy know he could hear him.

They reached the Capitol soon enough after that. They were escorted to the hotel all of the victors stay at. Soon they met up with Haymitch, Annie, Finnick, and Jo.

"Hi Jo" Katniss smiled and gave a quick hug.

"Did you know about this?" Annie asked pointing to Jo's baby.

"Yes actually" Katniss hugged Annie, "I'm just that good."

"Or something" Haymitch grumbled sipping some liquor.

"I don't think I've seen you with a drink since Peony called you Grandpa" Peeta laughed.

"What can I say I have a soft spot for kids."

"Do you have a soft spot for mine Haymitch?" Jo asked laughing.

"No because its mommy's a whore"

"Hey!"

"What I'm drunk!"

"I guess two years of being sober makes you less resistant to alcohol?"

"Shut up" He grumbled.

"Did you guys bring Peony?" Finnick asked.

"No, never" Katniss answered quickly.

"Good we won't look bad for not bringing Fin or Lily" He laughed "We asked him and he just didn't want to go." Finnick winked rather hilariously.

"Katniss, Jo come on I want to show you something" Annie smiled taking the two over to an elevator.

Before they left entirely they did hear Haymitch say, "What the hell is it with women and their babies?"

Annie took them up to her bed room. "I want to know everything" She smiled sitting down on the bed facing two chairs. Jo and Katniss sat down.

"What?" Jo asked.

"How did you find out? Names? Gender? Everything" Annie said and Katniss couldn't help but laugh.

"Well," Jo started, "I found out when my eighth pregnancy test told me so. And then I cried for a few minutes went over to Gales job and told him I was ready to marry him. I cried some more." Jo got choked up as she spoke and Katniss knew why, "On my wedding day Katniss found me crying and she helped me get down the aisle. Then I told Gale, he was pissed... Damn sorry" She said hiding her face.

"It's fine really Jo what's wrong" Annie asked concern written all over her face.

"He's still being an ass he refuses to come to any of my appointments and doesn't look at the pictures they give me. I thought he wanted a family I didn't so why is he mad I'm giving him what he wants. I'm putting myself aside because I refused to abort it. I love him why is he being such an ass?"

"Because Gale is an ass Jo" Katniss laughed, "You knew that from the get go"

"I don't want this baby. This baby is for him." Annie looked distressed in search for an answer as Katniss got up to the phone. "What the hell is wrong with him? Why can't he swallow his damned pride and see what I'm going through?"

"Gale?" Katniss said when he answered the phone.

"Catnip?"

"Yep, your wife is crying over here."

"What? Why?"

"Katniss no" Jo argued.

"Do you want to know what she told me? She told me you refuse to even look at your baby. God damn Gale it's not like she cheated on you. You guys made the thing and now you just don't care?"

"It's not that simple Catnip."

"Then make it simple, because for god sake if I have to listen to her talk about her not aborting the baby because she loves you any more I am personally coming down to district two to beat your ass into the ground."

"Wait abort it what?"

"She would have aborted the baby but she loves you. She knows you want a family and she loves you so much she kept the baby she didn't want.

"She doesn't want kids, but she loves you and trusts you so she's kept it."

"I never knew... Did she really think about aborting it?" He sounded like he was going to cry. Katniss knew he was at work so this must have been killing him.

"Johanna!" Katniss said, "Talk to your husband and fix this mess."

Jo failed at wiping away her tears but she spoke anyway. "I didn't seriously think about it but the thought surfaced several times... Yes... I do, I wouldn't lie like that... Don't say that... Please...I have said it a million times over you just tried not to listen you stubborn idiot... Okay... bye" She hung up the phone "... So I found out it's a boy, I'm going to name him Hunter after his dad."

"You okay Jo?" Annie asked.

"I will be. Kitty Kat tell Annie about your baby I'll be right back." Jo got up and went to the bathroom and Annie looked to Katniss.

"Good job Katniss" She said.

"Lets see here, I found out when I missed my period in February and I'm also having a boy, even though everyone thought it was a girl... We found out last week and I named him Leif."

"Aw how cute" Annie smiled fondly at Katniss's stomach. "finally some boys Fin was starting to ask if he could play with a boy when we go to visit you guys."

"Oh when are you coming?"

"Early August"

"Oh cool." Jo reentered the room promising she was fine for a long while. The three then parted ways for the night.

Katniss reached the room she and Peeta had reserved. When she went inside she saw Peeta laying on their bed, "How was it?" He asked.

"I may need to leave tonight." She sat on the bed right next to him.

"Why?"

"Jo... She's all alone Peeta"

"What happened?"

"She... Told us how she thought about aborting Hunter when she first found out about him. But she didn't because she knew Gale wanted a family, so she kept him... for Gale." Peeta was silent, "Sometimes love is enough Peeta" She said getting up and walking into the bathroom.

She was right, at ten when Peeta was taking a shower Jo called her in tears, "Which room are you in?" Was all Katniss asked before slipping shoes on. "Peeta" She knocked on the door, "I'll be back okay?" She didn't wait for a response she just left and made her way to Jo's room.

Jo opened the door and Katniss took her in her arms. "Tell me what happened." Katniss said taking a seat on Jo's bed.

"When you gave me the phone he... He asked me if I actually thought about it and I said that I didn't." She paused to let out a distressed sob. " Then he started to yell and cry. He told me I should have aborted Hunter. So I told him to stop but he told me he wanted me to hear him for once. He asked me if I loved him and I said I'd told him a million times over. Then I called him an idiot and then he said we'd talk later.

"So I come back and he phones me and he tells me that he doesn't want the baby he only wants me. So I told him that wasn't possible and he got mad and told me he just wanted to trust me. I told him he could and so he asked me why I didn't want to marry him until the baby and I started crying so hard, I couldn't stop and... I said to give me ten minutes. So I called you. Kitty Kat I need your help."

"What ever you need I'm here for you" Katniss stroked Jo's hand.

"I need to tell you why and I need you to help me talk when I call him... Please."

"Of course Jo." Katniss rubbed Jo's arm as Jo sobbed a while longer before speaking.

"Alright... I can do this." Jo took a deep breath and told Katniss everything in as much detail she could muster. Then in the silence that followed her story the phone rang.

"Don't leave me" She whispered to Katniss.

"I won't" Katniss said picking up the phone and putting it on speaker.

"Gale?" Jo answered.

"Jo are you ready to tell me what's happening?"

"Yes" She took a deep breath. "So... I... My mother found out she was pregnant before she was married. Her and my dad were engaged but she still had to go through the reaping." Jo paused swallowing her tears, "My dad was really mad, so he beat her up trying to get her to miscarry. She didn't... But then she almost did because she was so stressed about the reaping she almost died and everyone thought I wasn't an issue anymore." Jo hiccupped a bit at this part,

"She wasn't reaped and she found out she was still pregnant. I was born six weeks early again almost killing my mother..." Jo started sobbing again and Katniss took over.

"Jo lived her whole childhood a happy little girl until she was reaped into the Games." Jo looked at her thankfully, "But she found out that her father beat her mother all through out that childhood. She was afraid to get married because her dad loved her mom so much before they were married and then he hit her like it was nothing at all. She didn't want you to change when you were married.

"And then she found out about the baby and almost had a nervous break down. She knew you had always wanted children so she pushed aside all of her fears so she could make you happy.

"When you told her she should have aborted the baby she couldn't take it and she started to imagine you hitting her and hitting your son. She was so scared that I had to come in and help keep her calm."

"Jo? Are you there?" Jo nodded and gasped for breath.

"She's here Gale" Katniss said.

"Jo, I promise you I will never hurt you. I promise that you and our baby will never have to worry about that ever again. I promise that you won't ever think for a minute that I'll hit you. I promise I'll love you like you deserve to be loved and I promise when you get back I'll help you through the rest of this... Okay?"

Jo couldn't speak because she was still sobbing helplessly. "Okay" She coughed at last.

"By the way who is this?"

"Katniss"

"Ah."

"Jo?" Katniss asked.

"Hm?"

"Do you have anything else to say?"

"Gale" She said in a distressed tone.

"Yes"

"I love you, please believe me"

"I do Jo. I love you too."

"Bye" she said quietly.

"Night" he hung up then. Leaving the girls alone.

"Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"Am I a wimp?"

"No Jo. You're just pregnant." She smiled and put her hand on Jo's baby. "Leif, I want you to meet Hunter. He's inside your Aunt Johanna's belly but I think you'll be friends when you meet for real."

Katniss and Jo's bulging stomachs touched and their babies kicked one another. "Hunter, that's Leif" Jo said following Katniss's example, "He's in your Auntie Katniss right now but you'll like him. And your Auntie Katniss can help you out of any situation you find yourself in so don't be afraid to call her if you don't think you can talk to daddy or I."

Then Katniss got choked up, "Jo how in hell are we going to survive tomorrow?"

"Don't know but you should probably head back to your own room." Katniss nodded hugged her friend and then left for her own room.

She slipped into her own room and slid under the covers, "What happened?" He asked and then she started to cry. "Katniss?"

"Never, say anything bad about Jo ever again" She said before she allowed more tears to kiss her cheeks.

"Katniss what happened?" He asked bringing her to his chest.

"It's awful what she's been through Peeta, it's just awful."

"Shh... It's okay"

"Not for her..." She went on to explain Jo's fears. Peeta held Katniss close the whole time. "But it's good that he knows now he can help her get past all of that... At least that's what I keep telling myself"

"It is good Katniss, it's good she's letting people in." Peeta kissed her head, "Now we should sleep so we can get up early for tomorrow." He smiled and she could tell in his voice he was sincerely smiling.

"Good night" She whispered closing her eyes and letting sleep caudle her abused mind.

(_Pst... start the playlist here if you haven't started it already *thumbs up* I'm done being a nerd now continue)_

When the morning came Katniss didn't want to face the day she would have rather turned over and let it go on with out her. But that wasn't an option. She got up and put on the Black dress she had brought from her district. She fixed her hair and put a bit of make up on wanting to look nice for the Service.

The president would be there, she would see Jo and her pregnant. She'd probably say something to them but Katniss didn't care in the least. She wanted to go home to her daughter and be happy like when she first found out Leif was on his way.

"Katniss, you ready?" Peeta asked her.

"Yeah" She said taking his hand and walking with him to the elevator where they rode down to the ground floor. They met up with the other victors before making their way to the Memorial which never ceased to make everyone feel like absolute crap.

Peeta and Katniss climbed into a car with Jo, Annie, and Finnick. They rode to the memorial in silence because on this day of mourning no one could say anything to comfort one another. They all had different experiences they all saw different things happen, they all watched friends and foes alike perish by their hands or others.

Each person felt a jab at their insides thinking about what the day held on this warm May morning.

They reached the white intimidating memorial building and they walked around it to the grassy back area where the Service was held. You could go through if you wanted but inside held each name of every fallen tribute, it held their story, their family told you everything that made them human, and none of them could handle that today.

The memorial was expertly done each tribute had a face and a name. They each had a story of survival until their ultimate fate reached them. Each of them always had flowers at their place and the inscription _We will never forget our fallen friend. _That alone made Katniss shiver.

She remembered seeing Rue's grave they had the picture of her covered in flowers after Katniss had lulled her to sleep. They talked about her bravery before her death and about how she had always dreamed about the brighter future that she might have.

Again none of them could face that.

Outside there were chairs lined up for the service. Peeta sat next to Katniss, Jo sat on her other side while Annie sat next to her with Finnick on the end to sandwich in the three girls.

The victors slowly filed in taking their seats. Everyone was seated and they rolled in the candles to signal the start of the ceremony.

"Good morning everyone" President Paylor said taking the stage, "before we start today let us take a moment to remember the souls lost the games" Everyone bowed their heads with their own silent prayers hoping their friends could hear them, "As another year passes we would like to recall those who had fallen to the reign of the Capitol. They are never far away from our thoughts because their spirits remain here in our hearts always.

"We honor these people because we knew them in a way no other can know them. We understood them in ways no one else could ever because we were just like them. All of us were attempting to survive and we were lucky. We made it out with our lives.

"Though some would beg to differ on our behalf of our so called luck that is not why we're here. We're here to commemorate those who died too young and were forgotten when the next year came.

"Each of us will now light a candle in honor of each game seventy five candles will float in the lake as a symbol of unity as we all became united the moment our names were called in the reaping." Katniss who had clung to Jo as they sobbed looked up. She took Peeta's hand to help her stand up so she could light her candle.

She walked up with Peeta and they took their candles from Paylor. Katniss found her hands shaking as she lit hers and placed it on its little raft so she called it. Peeta crouched down to put his in the lake and offered a had to do so for Katniss but she wanted to do it herself, she felt like she had to, this was all she could do for them.

Peeta helped her back to their seats and stroked her hair lovingly. She kissed his free hand but did not smile, in this place no one had the will power or the energy to show happiness.

Paylor took her place in front of everyone to continue, "We do these things to let their souls know they are never forgotten that even though their souls are now at peace in heaven we still remember them. Whether they were the little ones with innocence stripped from them, or the oldest ones who had just one more year until freedom. Whether they had thousands of slips or just one. If they volunteered or if they had to be ripped from their place.

"As a good friend and victor once told me, 'We never move on. Each tribute, each death is as clear as day in our memories. We remember their face, their awkwardness's, and their downfalls. We remember their reason for being in the games, we remember their story, their fight. For who else will take the time out of their precious day to remember the fallen children who were still too small to ponder life's greatnesses and the ones who had only known life's cruelties? Who will keep their memory in a good heart?'

"I did not know what to say and so she answered for me, 'We will and I fear we may be the only ones.' My fellow victors we gather on this day to remember the brave and scared. The kind and the selfless, we on this day remember those children who grew up far beyond their time.

"And may we never face anything such as this again." Paylor stepped down and Katniss looked around every single person was crying silently some with their heads bowed in respect for their fallen friends. Others had their faces tilted to the sky as if trying to see the others and tell them that everything was fine. Katniss looked all around but did not see Haymitch.

Once everyone stood up she leaned over to Peeta. "I'll be back." She whispered.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom" She said standing up and walking briskly toward the Memorial. Not many people went in after the Ceremony so this should have been easy.

She walked into the large marble building and sure enough there was only one figure crying over one name at the very end of the hall.

She half ran half waddled over to him. "Haymitch." she whispered when she reached him. "you okay?" She looked up and saw the name Maysilee etched into the stone.

"I could have saved her, I should have saved her I shouldn't have let her go. She was my only friend in the arena, and I even regret abandoning everyone at the cornucopia." He was crying, and so was she.

"Haymitch we all wish those things when in reality we only wish we didn't ever have to be in those games."

"It's like you and that Rue girl Katniss. You know in your heart you could have saved her but for one reason or another fate hated you and you didn't."

"You know when you're not drunk you make a good point." She laughed grimly and with an absence of a smile.

"I can't change the past but if I could I would have switched our lives, have her win instead of me."

"If I could control time I would have had the Capitol lose the first war. But we can't do that and just look at your life now. You have Peeta and I who like to believe you're that Uncle who gets drunk at all the parties but is really good on the inside.

"Peony thinks you're her grandfather. And this little guy will love you just as much." Katniss tried to see into his cold grey eyes but there was a barrier he would not break. "You have so much love in your life."

"What is love if you've lost it all your life and don't know how to accept it?"

She furrowed her brow at this before answering, "A challenge... A challange to learn to accept the love that is being given. A challenge to finally put all that lost love to rest with those events that took it from you. A challenge to learn how to move on."

"Easy to say"

"It always is."

"Even if I do all of those things how do I know everything will be okay?"

"That's where hope comes in."

"I can't remember the last time I had hope."

"I can, when you wanted me to remember you." She watched his eyes melt from hard grey to silver, "When you thought you finally had a chance of a victor. When you thought the rebellion would be won. But most recently was when you wanted me to remember you. And I did." She took his hand and helped him stand, "Hope isn't an option it's a reflex our minds have set up for us so we can keep doing something even if it seems like it won't work. Hope has kept you alive believe it or not. When you hoped you had winning tributes, you did. When you hoped the rebellion would be won, it was. And I remembered you. Hope hasn't failed you Haymitch, and it never will because it never dies."

He looked down still crying, "I missed the service right?"

"Big time"

"Time to go?"

"Yes" She said and he led her out of the large marble building that she wanted to be far away from.

Outside she met up with Peeta and the others who had been standing in silence.

"Bathroom?" Peeta asked and she knew he was kidding but this was no place to smile.

"Maybe I lied a little" She said sheepishly. No one said anything else the whole car ride over to the dinner they always held in honor of the tributes.

They reached the restaurant and again silence fell almost immediately. "Katniss" Jo said suddenly "Can I talk to you really quick?"

"Sure Jo" Katniss said standing and following Jo into the bathroom.

"Kitty Kat, do you think Gale meant what he said?"

"I have no doubt in my mind but Jo, you need to stand up and tell him how scared you are don't let him think your fine when your not."

"Okay" Jo sighed shakily.

"I was hoping I'd find you two alone." They turned to the new voice.

"President Paylor" Katniss said shocked.

"You two are causing quick a controversy among the members of the House." Katniss and Jo looked around guiltily, "Don't worry I'm on your side. But these men are thinking that since you two are in your condition you can't rightfully judge our state with the Nations.

"I however disagree. I believe that you being like this just means you'll get your point across faster and louder. So I have to ask, do you think you can handle the meeting on the twenty-sixth of July?"

"Yes" Katniss answered.

"Definitely." Jo answered.

"Then I'm counting on you to prove me right. And ladies, show those men whose boss"

"Yes ma'am" Katniss nodded. "My husband will kill me for saying that."

"So will mine honey so will mine."

* * *

_Wow this just like wrapped my emotions in a piñata and smacked it with a chainsaw. I would like y'all to remember I revamped my first three chapters four is sure to follow so watch out for that and stay lovely._


	8. Chapter 8

**READ THIS EXPLINATION PLEASE AND THANK YOU**

_Hey guys guess what? I love you... But besides that I drop a lot of hints in this chapter for up coming events, I wanna know if you find them. _

_Also I'm an army brat! So I am sorry in advance for the way I talk about certain things and the way I see the Nations as a whole. My bad, but when your father leaves you for a year, you hear some pretty god awful things about war. Also note that these ideas presented in this part _**are not actually how Islam works**_. Google it if you are interested. _

_These are ideas that are _**based on fact but are changed **_to make everyone seem horrid and present them in a strange way you'll learn about at the end of the chapter. _**None of the things I talk about are necessarily true**_ I am twisting them to fit the universe of the hunger games. _**Please do not take my ideas to heart because I have no prejudice against anyone of the Islamic faith or towards anyone they talk about in this chapter**._ Even though my dad was in the war I do not hate the people of the Islamic faith. Also note that the things I talk about happening in Eurasia are also not true. Once more I'll say it _**Do not think these ideas expressed are literal they are simply part of the fictional world that I think would have happened in a world where the hunger games could not only exist but thrive for as long as they did. **

_If you have any questions please feel free to message me I will gladly explain further._

_With those things said I hope you enjoy and See ya at the end ;)_

* * *

The next day Katniss and Peeta were extremely close to leaving before their set interview time but they were surprised to find a familiar face right outside their room. "Effie!" Katniss gasped.

"Oh my! Katniss darling!" She pranced over and gave her a hug. "Oh look at you! You look simply marvelous."

"Um.. Thank you. What are you doing here?"

"Oh well I'm actually here to get everyone to Caesars, everyone just was so disappointed last year with how few victors showed up for their interviews, they sent the old escorts to gather everyone up!"

"Well it's great to see you again" Katniss nodded still thoroughly put out.

"I'm ready Katn- Effie!"

"Oh hello Peeta dear" She hugged him as well. "You all are scheduled to be their in seventeen minutes. Let's hurry along now!" Effie clapped guiding them to the limousine.

Katniss and Peeta looked at one another with irritated but otherwise calm eyes.

"So Katniss dear how long have you been pregnant?"

"...What?" She asked still dazed at the idea of having an interview that she frankly thought she couldn't stand.

"How far along are you?"

"Oh about thirteen weeks now."

"Everyone will be so thrilled." She laughed, "When are you due?"

"late October early November"

"Perfect, I'll plan a shower late August then."

"Oh you don't have to do that."

"I want to dear! Oh this is so exciting a baby!"

"Another baby"

"Yes where is the little one?"

"She's with her grandmother"

"You didn't bring her?"

"She was... sick, chicken pox" Katniss said even though Peony had gotten chicken pox when she was a mere eight months old.

"The poor dear"

"Yeah we didn't want to risk anything."

"I'm sure everyone will understand."

"Yeah" Katniss nodded still slightly confused.

"We're here!" Effie jumped out of the car.

"Good lord I forgot how happy she always is" Katniss mumbled.

"Happy is good, but the blinding yellow I could do without." Peeta sighed looking at her.

"Alright time to block everything out" Katniss whispered to herself and was thankful Peeta did not hear her.

They were whisked away to separate rooms where Katniss met her new prep team who we shocked to see her so... Pregnant.

"Oh dear, I don't think we have anything!" One said.

"We have something I think but we'll need to tailor it." This was clearly a crisis for them, but Katniss was not so worried. She watched them frantically sprint from corner to corner of the prep room to try and whip up a gown. They did no big surprise there, they slipped her into it, and she could honestly say she felt fat.

She looked at herself and thought she was six months instead of three. She wondered if she had ever looked like this when she was having Peony because for gods sake she was self conscious.

The dress was the expected red and very loose at the bottom, but it stretched over Leif with its tight bodice. She felt like a mess even when her hair was done and make up was on, she felt this way still.

She didn't want to go out on a stage like this but she had no choice. She met Peeta five minutes before they went on. He smiled at her the way he always did when Leif was so easily seen. His eyes melted into a fond gaze and the pride in his heart shone through as well.

He knelt down and stroked Leif, "You make your mother even more beautiful then she already is." He kissed Leif before standing up.

Katniss was put out now and honestly could care less who knew so. They walked out onto the stage, Katniss half smiled not attempting to look pleased for these people.

Katniss was lucky that Peeta couldn't stop talking about the baby because she would have just stayed silent the whole time if he weren't talking.

"So Katniss," Caesar finally turned toward her, "What's the gender of the little one? Another girl I bet anyone else?" The crowd cheered but she paid no attention to them.

"I think it be best to keep it a secret for now."

"When's it due?"

"Late October early November." She found herself absent mindedly rubbing Leif as if she were afraid Caesar would suddenly try and take him from her.

"We sure can't wait to meet the little one." Katniss forced a smile, "Tell us how has this impacted little Peony?"

"She can't wait" Katniss said, "She wants a little brother." Then as if someone decided to save her, the interview ended. Her and Peeta were allowed to leave and so they got on the train and headed home. "Well that was awful" Katniss sighed as soon as they were alone.

"It wasn't too bad" Peeta shrugged.

"Look at you being M. Brightside" Katniss laughed, "I just want to go home and not come back until the meeting."

"You're still going?" Peeta asked surprised.

"Yeah" Katniss chuckled uncomfortable with the situation, "I kind of have to."

"I thought Paylor told me she'd talk to you"

"Wait you told Paylor you didn't think Jo and I could handle the meeting?"

"She said that others had expressed their concerns so I thought I might talk to her too"

"Peeta!"

"What, I just expressed an opinion about your state"

"My state!?"

"Bad wording on my part." He sighed, "What I meant is, you know I think it's no place for you right now."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh god Katniss can we not argue for once?"

"... Peeta you know that these past few fights have been pretty spaced out right? You understand that we don't normally fight like this. Because I for one think a few arguments here and there are completely natural!" She laughed but he did not. "Peeta you have to understand perfections lie in our imperfections. I suck at communication, I have an awful temper, I'm independent to a fault, I'm stubborn as all hell, I can't cook to save my life, I dive into everything head first even if it's into concrete."

He laughed at this and finally looked at her, "Well I'm too nice,"

"No" She laughed.

"People walk all over me, I stalked the girl I fell in love with literally to the ends of the earth, I cry too much, I follow others even if it's to my own personal demise." Now they both laughed. Katniss took a seat on the bed and buried her face into her hands.

She looked at him as he shook his head trying to rid himself of this persistent laughter. But they couldn't, they couldn't stop laughing to save themselves because they finally understood one another and they finally understood faults.

Understanding can save someone reader, I have seen this first hand, understanding and holding out a hand to someone who doesn't believe could make them see the truth. Our perfections lie in our imperfections.

Maybe reader you can look inside yourself and see your own imperfections and find they make you perfect, I'll start if you like. Because I have found a million and one imperfections in me and yet for each of those I know there is a life and beauty within me.

Weeks passed for Katniss, she did not see much of anything happen. Her daughter played and grew as all children do. Leif grew inside her little by little. She lived her life, the life she had never imagined for herself. It was then she realized that she was a new person.

The girl who hunted every day to feed her family was no longer there. In fact if that Katniss could see her now she'd likely vomit at how ridiculous she looked. But Katniss also realized she liked being this kind of ridiculous, because she was happy. She found that being this way she was happy, to be pregnant and alive. She was healthy, her family was healthy and that was all she had ever wanted.

Soon it was time to hop back on a train to the Capitol for some serious business. The very real looming idea of war, what side to fight for, when to fight. These would soon be figured out.

They all stayed in the hotel they had been in three months prior. This time though more people were present, representatives from each district made an appearance and you all know what I mean by that.

"Hi Gale" Katniss smiled as she and Peeta reached him and Jo.

"Kitty Kat!" Jo smiled and hugged her, "Good to see you kid"

"Kid?"

"Take it as a complement sweetie." Jo laughed.

"You're not still being a dick are you?" Katniss asked playfully looking directly into Gales soul, still through his laughter Peeta spoke up.

"Katniss he can hear you"

"I know he can hear me, but he also likes kicking my intestines at all hours of the night."

"He just wants to show you he loves you." Peeta claimed putting his hand on little Leif, who was honestly not so little anymore.

"We're better now Catnip" Gale laughed, "Better than ever actually," He pulled Jo to him and kissed her cheek before allowing his hand to caress her round stomach.

"Lets keep it PG in here" They heard a heavily sarcastic voice break in to their conversation.

"Finnick!" Annie scolded.

"What? It's not like any thing would happen!"

"Yeah they're both already knocked up!" Haymitch suddenly burst in.

"Lord" Katniss sighed.

"Are you drunk yet?" Jo asked as the three made their way over.

"This time I'm sober" Haymitch said as a matter-of-factly.

"That's fantastic" Jo sighed.

"Ain it?" He laughed.

"How are you guys?" Peeta asked Annie and Finnick.

"We're great," Annie answered, "Lily's finally started walking."

"Aw how cute" Peeta chuckled. Katniss smiled at how in tune Peeta became when children were involved.

She felt Leif start to turn over and she didn't move at the pain of his little hands and feet shifting. That was she didn't move until she felt him elbow her ribs and kick her kidneys at the same time.

She gasped and gripped Peeta, "Stop that" She said sternly, accidentally causing everyone to have a mini heart attack.

"Katniss what's wrong?" Peeta asked scared out of his wits.

"How can you kick my ribs and both of my kidneys at the same time?" She asked silently as he kicked her in yet another painful spot.

"Kitty Kat?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"This kid is very talented if he can kick three different parts of me at once." Katniss sighed. Peeta timidly placed his hand on the small of her back. "Your son can kick two of my organs and a rib at the same time. What kind of testosterone did you put in him?" She asked as Leif made another blow to her organs.

Gale and Jo laughed at this but Annie and Peeta still stared at her with fear and apprehension.

"I know how that feels Kitty Kat, Hunter sleeps most of the day and then spends all night tap dancing on my freaking everything."

"Why don't you ever wake me?" Gale asked.

"Because you never fully wake up Gale! I've tried six times before. You sleep talk for a good five minutes and then fall back asleep."

"You done?" Katniss asked Leif as she straightened up, "Good"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Peeta asked skeptically.

"Yeah," Katniss let out her pent up breath, "Yeah I'm fine."

He didn't let go of her for the rest of the conversation they held with their friends.

"As much as I'm enjoying this little reunion" Jo said, "I've got to sit down because Hunter enjoys having me suffer." Gale took Jo's hand and led her over to the elevator.

"So Katniss We're coming the sixth of August okay?"

"Oh sure that'll be fun." Katniss answered.

"I don't know if we're bringing the kids or not yet but hopefully after the meeting is over we'll be more sure."

"Whatever you want" Katniss laughed.

"We should be heading up too Katniss" Peeta said, "You haven't taken your vitamins today."

"Crap!" Katniss said quickly, "Bye guys" She allowed Peeta to lead her to their bedroom. They prepared for bed and that night he held her close to him. She faced him and he pressed his body to Leif so if he were to wake Katniss with his incessant moving he would wake with her.

The next morning flies by so quickly we have nothing to report until the beginning of the meeting.

"We all know why we're here." President Paylor wasted no time in beginning the meeting, "To discuss our predicament. So let's not beat around the bush. The Republic of Allah and a place called The Kingdoms Untied in Might, which was translated to English. Are the two forces we must decide to either join or fight.

" Lets dive right in shall we? There are people on the other side of the world. This place is completely ruled by their religion.

"That in its self is not a bad thing. But what they do are of unspeakable tortures. There is a continent of the name Africa that was at one time independent. But now it is entirely ruled by the old Iranian civilization. We say old because they are no longer called Iranians now they're called Followers. You are just lucky they gave me these translations this morning." She sighed in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Africa and what was Iran are now Called the Republic of Allah. Which is of course translated to English.

"Anyway They are ruled by a sole person the Malik who also rules the Mosque. They live solely by his word and his word alone.

"Their world is ruled by religion. They do not allow their woman any freedoms. She belongs to her father until she is either bought by a man who shall take her as his wife or she reaches the age of twenty-five without being wed. In this case they banish her to the City of Woman, translated into English. This place is where all women who are unwed become slaves to the Republic, they are usually used for laborious jobs such as mining and factory work. Many die here due to pollution and factory fires.

"If she does wed but does not bear her husband a child in the first five years of their marriage he may choose to have her banished to these places called the Gardens of Infertility translated to English of course.

"The Gardens of Infertility are very similar to the city of women except the Gardens are solely dedicated to agriculture. The garden of infertility holds the harshest conditions where there is no medicine for the sick, homes made of mud or anything relatively easy to come by, and harsh land owners. These men have been know to rape and murder the young women. Many also sell their workers as prostitutes for a night to gain extra money.

"The only other difference is they are allowed to leave after spending ten years in the Gardens. Once they return they are believed to have reputed the Iblis and are then sent to the Malik who can decide to either wed them or return them to their husbands. It must be said that only a small few have ever lasted ten years.

"If a man chooses to keep his wife after five years of infertility, she must forever remove her veil to allow others to see her face in public. This ritual is to show Allah that the woman is impure. There have been many reports of these women in particular having been attacked with acid so her face resembles that of the Iblis.

"The young women who do bear children also face prejudice, for if their child dies at birth then they must die as well. If their child is born with a disability, they must walk around the Mosque immediately following the birth of the child and perform a ritual to rid the woman of the Iblis. If the mother dies having the child the child is also killed in the belief that the Iblis called its servant home after leaving a legacy.

"It has been recorded in their holy texts that women are creatures that must at all times be guarded by a man. She is a tempting creature made by the Iblis to tempt and torture men. She must cover herself to show respect for Allah.

"A woman of this faith is not allowed to speak and so they cut off her tongue at birth. She must have the Holy texts read to her for she is not allowed to read.

"When a son is born into a family he is taken away to school where he studies the Islamic faith diligently before their place in society. Their place is determined by the Malik who observes one class day in secret and then places them accordingly. Though it is questionable if he actually does this.

"Men have many jobs available to them politically and economically though their lives can potentially rival with the women at being rather horrid. Once they have reached sixteen their career paths are chosen for them and they must begin rigorous training to begin his work.

"If his employer finds he's not completing his tasks well enough and does not believe the boy is fit to work there. The boy is sent to the academy where he is trained to become a solider. They will use any and all means to whip them into shape.

"If they still are not settled down and are still not fit to work then her is sent to watch over the City of Women or the Gardens of Infertility, which explains why most of the owners are so cruel.

"I'll change the topic now before I piss off everyone in this room." Paylor straightened her papers and moved on to a different stack. "The Kingdoms United in Might was once two continents who combined into one when disaster after disaster struck. They were at one time known as Europe and Asia, sometimes referred to as Eurasia.

"They have an entirely different idea of the world. They have spent decades and decades building and perfecting their society.

"They have separated their people, segregating them into different areas of their country. They separate them by skin color, religion, sexual orientation, and of course disability. This tactic has been put into effect for so long now not many people are out of place.

"Those who have it the hardest by far must be the those of the homosexual orientation. Those who prefer those of their own gender are placed in labor units where they mine valuable materials, they work mainly with harvesting raw materials before they are shipped out to other parts of the country. They can also be bought and sold into slavery by those in higher classes.

"Right above them are those people who have any kind of religion. They are split into different towns where they are all of the same religion. Whether they are Jews, Hindus, Protestant or Catholic Christians, Buddhists, or Muslims. These people live only slightly better than those below them. They receive the shipments from the labor units and transform them into basic goods such as cloths and metal sheets. Many children who are born to these people are disabled because their mothers work up until their child is born.

"Above them are those of disability. They live lives of confinement these people are tested with new drugs and treatment methods to see if their insanity leaves them. They are forced into surgeries to change their bone structure. These people are literal human guinea pigs and as such not much information was released on them. We do know however that the only reason they live better than those in the religion class is because none of these people are impoverished or can be bought and sold into slavery.

"Above them are people of different skin colors. These people are those who make luxury items these are the people who are separated into two classes. Those who make items and those who use them.

"Those in the working class are usually but not always of darker pigmentation. While those law makers and business CEOs are usually but again not always of a lighter pigmentation." Paylor let out a deep sigh as if it hurt her greatly to read those things off the page.

"This is considered middle class, the people who work at large companies and at service providing places are considered one of the greater parts of the system. They cannot be brought into slavery and there is no poverty because there is always a job for everyone.

"Law breakers are subject to mind torture to change their perspective as well as execution without trial. Children have tests through out school to see if they are a homosexual or a child of disability. Some of these tests have been known to drive children to insanity.

"Children have a class of their own, they are taken away from their mothers after they are born and from that point on they are schooled in the field which they were born into. The schools are of much worse condition than most people have understood primarily because they have learned to alter the memories of these children before they go into the real world.

"These schools have cruel disciplinary actions. These actions include nights in the disability sectors, hours in the homosexual work camps, and in worse cases whippings that take place in the school yard. The children who simply cannot be contained are faced with a choice exile or death. The choice is normally death, for the place of exile is basically the same as death.

"People who are exiled are sent to camps similar to homosexual camps. The only difference is they work from three in the morning to midnight. They live in their own filth and must go into the wilderness to find food on their own.

"I do believe that we have an hour break for lunch please be here promptly... at Eight... We technically missed lunch" She mumbled under her breath.

For the longest time Katniss didn't want to move. She didn't want to breathe, think, or do anything like that.

These places were awful, worse than Snows rule and anyone before him. Did they really have to fight on one of their sides?

"Well that was... rough" Jo sighed the moment all of them were in the car. Katniss moaned and rubbed her eyes in agreement.

"Almost makes me want to thank god I just had to fight with other children to the death" Katniss sighed.

"Damn it!" Finnick said, "How dare they beat us at our own game!" Finnick said trying to lighten the mood in a failed attempt.

"I hate being a person sometimes," Jo sighed.

"I hate being a person all the time" Haymitch said, "You get used to it."

"We should change the topic." Peeta said.

"And what do YOU suggest we talk about huh?" Gale jeered, "Because honestly how in hell do you expect us to get over... THAT so quickly"

Peeta glanced down sadly at a loss for words.

"That's what I thought." Gale slumped back. Then out of nowhere Katniss began to laugh. Everyone stared at her confused, all she did was laugh.

"What the hell-" She said but before she could get anything else out she'd laugh, "What the hell-" Finnick chuckled with her just so she didn't look too crazy.

"What the hell is our world?" She laughed still and now Finnick laughed for real and Haymitch did too, "We just can't seem to get it right can we?" She laughed harder as Jo and Gale joined in her laughter. Annie chuckled with Finnick and Peeta laughed at how ridiculous everyone else looked.

They needed that those five minutes of laughing at nothing at all and then realizing they were laughing at themselves and so they laughed harder. Everyone needs just five minutes every now and then just to laugh at themselves.

When their hour was up and everyone had taken their seats in the meeting hall Paylor began again, "I would like to now return to the Republic of Allah so we can finish with them and The Kingdoms United in Might before midnight. Please bear with me.

"Alright so in the Republic the Malik at the present time could be renamed tyrant. More people have died under his rule than the number of casualties, both civilian and service members combined, in this current War Between the Nations.

"The Malik before the one we have mentioned, had said Allah had enlightened him and that they have not done enough to please him for not all of the people believe. So they set out on crusades to small islands close to the main lands of Eurasia. The current Malik took his place before any of these Crusades had returned to their homeland.

"The Crusaders give the people a chance to convert and those who do not are taken prisoner. These men and women are presented to the Malik and he then decides their fate. He has taken some of these women as wives drugging and raping them. The men are normally executed.

"The present Malik has a total of twenty-eight wives. He sells his own people into slavery as a trade to keep peace at his boarders in times of peace." That was all the information she had on the Republic and so she moved on.

"The Kingdoms declared war on the Republic when their islands were being raided by ruthless crusaders. They began to drop their bombs on minor cities to warn the Malik to stop the raids. So the two countries declared one of the longest and deadliest wars in human history.

"As of now the Republic of Allah and The Kingdoms United in Might are at a stand still in their war front. There has yet to be action since late last year. That is why they have both called for us to finally choose a side.

"So everyone I told you I'd finish before midnight... Eleven thirty is pretty good if I do say so myself. I know that this is a lot to take in, the debate will begin tomorrow at noon please choose a side and prepare an argument to defend your choices. Everyone must pick a side I'm giving you all morning tomorrow to figure it out.

"I swear if anyone comes in here without a side picked I will personally kick your ass. Dismissed."

Nobody moved at first because again it was just so hard to believe. These two places these two awful places were fighting and making them pick a side.

You know reader I think maybe this will help you to understand how these things came about. In times of hardship people turn to one of three things.

One they turn away from the problem completely which is exactly what Panem did. They turned away from the rest of the world when things got far to bad for them.

Two they turn to their religion which is what the Republic did. They did what humans always manage to do. Twist the words of their faith to fit their own desires, they changed the text to say what they wanted it to say.

Three they turn to power as the Kingdoms did. They built up a mighty empire, improved their weapons to be the best. They built a world over the time America was hiding and Islam was changing.

But you see all three are at fault. They all hid from their problems out of fear for everything that they had ever gained and worked for. Now they seemed to be scrambling to fix themselves. They knew the other worlds were in shambles but to what extreme they did not know.

They parted ways long ago and now them must if they can fix what was lost.

Katniss and Peeta reached their room that night and the deadly silence that fell was interrupted by a simple question, "Do you wish you hadn't come?" He asked innocently enough.

"No" She said as tears streamed her face, "Now I'm grateful for everything I have." He brought her crying figure to his.

"It's okay. Everything will be okay"

She heard his words but wasn't sure if she believed them. Would it ever be okay? Could it ever be okay? These were things she questioned as she fell asleep.

In the morning she awoke to a sleeping Peeta. She took a shower still contemplating what she would choose. A world ruled by power or a world defined by a religion she herself did not believe.

How does one chose their insanity? How does someone simply decide whether a dictatorship of power and segregation or a tyranny of religious rule is worse or better than the other?

She dressed and walked into the bedroom to see Peeta barely sitting up in their bed.

"Morning" She said solemnly as she walked over to him.

"Morning" He rubbed his eyes when she sat next to him. He kissed her before speaking, "Have you chosen a side yet?"

"Sadly I think I have" She lets out a large sigh.

"I haven't" He shakes his head disapprovingly.

"It was hard to you know. How do you choose between to clearly messed up countries?"

"I don't know yet, What did you pick?"

"The Kingdoms."

"Really?"

"Yes, They seem... more... Like us?"

"Like us?"

"They seem like they are more like we were before the Rebellion. I don't like them at all it seems like it'd be awful to live there. But I had to choose between religious tyranny or power-hungry dictation."

"I'm still undecided." Peeta shook his head, "I wish it were easier. I wish one of them was awful and the other was wonderful. We don't live in a world of black and white though."

"Why don't you shower?" Katniss suggested putting her hand on his cheek, "It won't help this predicament but it might clear up your mind." He nodded getting up from the bed.

The moment the shower went on she let her pent up sadness all at once fall out of her mind.

She wanted to scream so she did into a pillow. She cried a bit afterwards, and feeling so entirely useless she cupped her face with her hands.

That was when Leif softly waved to his mother as if to say, "Don't be sad mommy, I'm still here"

"I love you Leif, I love you so much." She stroked her little boy in thought, until she sang him a song. The same song she sang to Peony when she was still pregnant with her. "Hear now, Hear the angels call The angels calling your name. Here now When your heart breaks at dawn The angels will call out your name.

"Fear not When darkness falls My candles are guiding your way. Fear not That the sky has fallen Just follow me down Maiden Lane

"Follow me down Maiden Lane. Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know

"So hold on Hold on to me now Hold on, I'll carry you through. We'll know When morning has come That morning has come back for you.

"Follow me down Maiden Lane Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know.

"Sleep now Sleep like the angels. Dream as the innocent do. 'Cause we'll rise, We'll rise from the ashes, And someday I'll get back to you

"Follow me down Maiden Lane Down Maiden Lane we'll go. When the tallest tower can't hold your faith It's Maiden Lane we'll know." She looked silently and sadly at her stomach.

She imagined holding the tiny baby in her arms. She imagined a perfect little blonde haired blue eyed boy who smiled like the sun and loved like there was no hate in the world.

Her son would not remember the days torn by war because he would be so young when it ended. He would only hear stories and the histories in school and he would boast to his friends by saying he was born during a war.

He would play war with his friends and hopefully never understand the brutality of a real war.

She heard the shower turn off interrupting her thoughts. She stood and started to pace the room until Peeta exited the bathroom.

"Katniss are you ready to go?"

"Yes" She forced a smile.

"Alright" He said taking her hand leading her out of the room. They found themselves back in the meeting room promptly at noon.

Paylor was the last to enter, "Lets get started." She organized her papers before speaking, "If you would please separate those of you who wish to join the Kingdoms from those who support the Republic." Everyone stood up and chose their side. Katniss sitting next to Jo stared directly across the table to Gale, Annie, and Peeta.

"Alright lets begin the hell storm." She told the people at the farthest end to begin their little debate. They quickly finished and then moved on to the next two.

The next two simple spat out words that made no complete sense at all. They shouted opinions like it was nobody's business and they treated their fellow house member as absolute rubbish.

About two hours of their bickering Paylor finally stood up, "Shut up both of you! You aren't helping! Sit down right now!" They followed her orders, but close to everyone after them did the same thing.

Yelling senseless opinions that were not at all relevant to the real problem. Who is worse, who was better. Those things were simply futile. It was no surprise to anyone that they hardly made it to the fourth pair of house members and hadn't even began to solve anything.

"Alright everyone meet back at eight tomorrow morning." Paylor said out of frustration.

"Well that went well" Jo mumbled sarcastically.

"Yeah could have been worse." Katniss agreed making her way to the exit. "I mean they could have made US say something"

"Yeah we'll just have to wait, joy!" Jo sighed.

"It's not the worst day I've ever had." Katniss laughed.

"Oh no course it isn't" Jo said jokingly.

The two walked back to Jo's room before they noticed, "Where are the others?" Katniss asked at the sudden realization.

"Dunno, don't really care" Jo sigh plopping into a chair and resting her arm over Hunter. "You enjoy making mommy crazy don't you?" She asked.

"I don't think he comprehends sarcasm Jo" Katniss laughed.

"... So?" Katniss laughed at this, "Seriously where is my husband?" Jo asked, "I need to get mad at him for siding with those sexist bastards"

"Calm yourself Jo, it was either the sexist bastards or the Prude technologically advanced dicks."

"Can we just chose to like abstain from this war? I mean clearly these two places suck and I'd rather not deal with either of them."

"True but we DON'T have that as an option."

"well we should."

"You should tell Paylor that"

"No you should she'd actually listen to you"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you may not know this Kitty Kat, but you have a reputation."

"Reputation?"

"Yeah I mean the whole berry thing seems like life times ago for you by now, but everyone still expects you to be that feisty sixteen year old from your games... No matter how many times you manage to get knocked up at inconvenient times."

"Jo!"

"What? You've been pregnant at the two most inconvenient times ever!"

"I wasn't pregnant my first games."

"But you were pregnant in the second, and during the rebellion, and the whole time we were trying to fix our idiotic system, and now when we're on the brink of a total world war. What's next? Planning the third for the middle of the war?"

"Course! Why freaking wouldn't I?" Katniss laughed heavily thoroughly enjoying Jo's arguments.

"But seriously Kitty Kat, if we have any chance at all of convincing her that we shouldn't even pick a side, You're going to have to be the one to do it."

"Just so long as I'm not a damsel in distress like you say I am" Katniss laughed.

"Kitty Kat you've never been a damsel, that would require you to be a lady. Someone once told me 'Ladies are girls who listen and watch, Women are girls who do'. Kitty Kat don't take this the wrong way but Annie is a lady and we are Women."

"Deep Jo"

"I'm serious Kitty Kat, she lets Finnick be this stereotypical male figure. You and I we tell our men to deal with it as we do our own thing. Kitty Kat all I'm saying is, you're the only one who could get away with it." Katniss nodded at her words.

"While we're on the topic Jo, you reminded me of something I once heard."

"What?" Jo laughed.

"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." Katniss recited.

"Men really would be lost without us."

"There wouldn't be men without us." Katniss laughed, "Maybe that's why they're taking so long they got lost without us."

"That explains it!"

"I'm going to head up to my own room, night Jo"

"Night Kitty Kat" Jo said as Katniss closed the door. When she reached her own bedroom she found it empty. Not thinking much of it she slipped into her night clothes and under the covers.

She laid in the dark for awhile caught in the place before sleep. She was not dreaming nor was she awake. When the light flipped on she did nothing.

She heard fumbling as the light went off again. "There you are" She heard Peeta whisper to himself and she could hear him get closer, still she did not open her eyes or move.

She felt his lips glide across her cheek, "I hope you aren't mad." He whispered again moving to change his clothes.

She felt him come around the bed again, "I'm trying Katniss, I promise you that, I am. I just want what's best" He kissed her temples this time. "I love you." Then he slipped into bed on her other side. She fell asleep and she dreamed of the year before the Quell.

She dreamed her memories of light kisses and entwined hands. She watched her younger rougher self allow this boy to slip his way into the cracks of her stony heart.

Upon opening her eyes she felt ready. She faced the day of loud bickering, quick voices that no one understood because no one was listening to one another. They were just shouting and therefore nothing got done. (_I'll love you forever if you know where that's from XD_)

That was how they spent everyday leading up to the thirty-first of July. That was the final day of debate everyone knew this to be a fact because they had finally reached Katniss and Annie.

When they all entered the room Katniss looked all around and Annie was no where to be found neither was Finnick.

Paylor walked in promptly and began the debate session as she always did, "Morning all, lets try not to kill each other today." She sat down, "Also the Odairs had a family emergency back in district two and therefore they will not be present for the last of the debates.

"With that said Katniss please state your argument to Mr. Hawthorn." Katniss nodded and she heard Jo hold back a laugh.

"Well, as we all know I am in favor of joining forces of the Kingdoms."

"Which already make you wrong" Gale joked and everyone chuckled a bit.

"I am in favor of them for a few reasons" She went on to explain why she felt they were the better choice. Gale retaliated well and the two soon were acting like all the others until Gale said this,

"So you are saying that the Republic is worse"

She paused, "No." everyone stared at her with large eyes, "No... Because lets face it both of these places are corrupt. Neither place is better than the other, because both places have allowed destruction to change them into power-hungry drones or religiously insane nutcases.

"I had the hardest time choosing which place to support because I honestly hate both of them! I wish that we could simply abstain from this petty war, but we weren't given that option.

"I don't want to fight with either of these people, I don't want to put our lives on the line for these two countries because I hate both of them more than words can express. I don't want to join forces with either of them, but if I had to choose which was less corrupt I would say the Kingdoms because they are more like us in the Hunger Games hay day.

"For gods sake I don't think the Republic is worse, I just think they would be harder to change."

Everyone was silent, Katniss looked over at Jo who looked pleased with her. She squeezed her hand to tell her 'thank you for trying.'

"Well..." Paylor spoke up, "All in favor of postponing our allegiance until we cannot any longer say I." Paylor looked around the still silent room, "I" She chuckled a bit.

Then an eruption of the one letter rang through out the room. Jo and Katniss exchanged glances of shear amazement.

"Alright seems that everyone hates the Nations as much as I do... Dismissed." Paylor smiled gratefully.

Jo and Katniss hugged one another so tightly they were surprised at how long they were able to hold on.

"Thank god" Jo sighed, "Thank you Katniss" They all parted ways when they reached the train station.

Katniss and Peeta went to their own compartment. "I'm going to call Annie and Finnick see how they're doing." Katniss said as Peeta changed.

She dialed their number and was shocked to have her call immediately picked up. "Hello?"

"Hi it's Katniss, who is this?"

"Auntie Katniss it's me Fin!"

"Hiya Fin how are you buddy?"

"I'm good, I has a friend over Auntie Katniss! He and I are playin Super hero!"

"Really?"

"Yeah I'm winning"

"Good" She laughed, "Is your mommy or daddy home?"

"Yeah but they're outside getting Lily"

"Getting Lily?"

"From the hospital"

"What happened?"

"She almost drowned but I saved her! They said she broked her arm"

"How did that happen Fin?"

"Auntie Katniss Mommy's home! Mommy!" The little boy laughed, "Auntie Katniss is on the phone!"

"Hello?"

"Finnick?"

"Yeah it's me"

"Where's Annie?"

"Crying,"

"Fin told me what happened"

"A friend of ours was watching them and took the kids to the beach. She crawled into the water and was swept out too far."

"how'd she-"

"Brake her arm? She was most likely trying too hard to swim and it snapped."

"Yikes"

"Annie? What is it?" Finnick asked clearly not trying to talk to Katniss, "Annie wants you to know we are still coming and we are bringing the kids."

"Alright, we can do that."

"See you in August kid"

"Bye Finnick." Katniss hung up the phone and informed Peeta what happened. He looked so distraught at the news of little Lily being hurt.

"Have you heard from Prim or your mom?" Peeta asked clearly worried for their own child.

"Last night actually, Mother couldn't get Peony to sleep so she had me sing her a lullaby"

Peeta sighed in relief. "Crap!" Katniss said dialing the number again, "I forgot to tell them about the decision"

"Hello?" Finnick picked up.

"Just thought you'd like to know we postponed the vote because everyone hates the stupid Nations... Bye!"

She hung up the phone and Peeta motioned for her to come closer to him. He held her the entire ride home.

"Mama!" Peony squealed as they got off the train. Peeta lifted her and kissed her cheek before handing her to Katniss, "Mama!" The little girl kissed her mother's cheek.

"I'm going to have to put you down sweetie." she said before putting a hand on her back. "You got so big in a week." She laughed as the little girl smiled broadly at her parents.

The little girl was in her night dress but she jumped around like it wasn't two hours past her bed time.

"Hi mom" Katniss hugged her mother and sister.

"Come on lets get you home." Her mother said.

"Mama! Daddy! I missed you" Peony squirmed before Peeta picked her up.

"We missed you too" Peeta said. They walked home, put Peony to bed, and then fell asleep in the comfort of their own bed.

It was the day of Annie and Finnick's arrival to district twelve. Katniss and Delly had scheduled their first play date with little Amber present.

"She's beautiful Delly" Katniss smiled affectionately at the giggling baby in Delly's arms. The little girl squirmed slightly in Delly's arms.

"Mark seems like he's afraid to touch her."

"Really?"

"Yes, I told him she'd be no different than the boys until she was six or seven. He's almost scared to touch her."

"Oh!" Katniss said suddenly, "I keep forgetting things! I forgot to put up the cradle for Lily" Katniss stood up, "I'll be back Delly"

"Take your time" She smiled. "And it's normal I forgot everything when I was pregnant"

Katniss walked swiftly out of the house. She walked a few paces before she stopped on the side walk. Her stomach felt the way ones hand does when clenching it into a fist.

She stopped and rubbed Leif until she felt the muscles released. "I have things to do sweetie" She laughed as he kicked her.

She stood erect and continued to walk to her house. She set up the cradle in the guest room rather quickly. She stood up and started to smooth out the bed when the clenching feeling came back.

"Leif stop it mommy has work to do" She again waited to stand up. She went down the stairs to find the book her mother had given her about her pregnancy. She flipped to the thirtieth week to see if there was any medication she could take. _'If you feel any of the following symptoms turn to page 220' _Katniss's eyes were so large they almost popped out of her head.

She dropped the book and walked swiftly out the door. During her walk she felt the familiar clenching of her stomach. She walked directly into the hospitals ER to find it mostly empty.

"May I help you?" The nurse from behind a desk asked.

"Yes"

"Are you here for yourself?"

"Yes"

"Name?"

"Katniss Mellark"

"Are you pregnant?" She asked and Katniss assumed it was a mandatory question because you'd have to be an idiot to not know she was.

"Yes"

"How far along?"

"Thirty weeks" Katniss said as her stomach clenched again.

"Who's your doctor?"

"Dr. Copsen" She said calmly and evenly.

"What is the problem exactly?"

"I think I've gone into preterm labor"

* * *

_Well my loves this took a lot of work and now I'd like to remind you if you have any questions I will gladly elaborate further. Thanks again stay lovely! _


	9. Chapter 9

_Hey guys so I know this ain't that big a mile stone but... 30 reviews and none of them are bad. A whole 30 That alone is a first for me I love each and everyone of you. You have no idea how much that means to me. Y'all keep this Texan happy while on her horse. Thanks again!_

* * *

The nurse looked up at Katniss once the words had come out of her mouth. The nurse led Katniss to a room, told her to change, and walked swiftly out of the room.

Katniss did as she was told and again felt the clenching in her stomach. She rubbed Leif knowing this maybe the day he's born, she was scared out of her mind at this idea. She couldn't however ignore it.

She tried to relax and keep herself calm but she wasn't sure she could. So instead she convinced herself she was just stressed out and that Leif was trying to make her slow down.

Then it went from that clenching feeling to pain fairly quickly and rather alarmingly.

"Alright Katniss" Dr. Copsen finally entered the room she had been given. "I'm just going to do a few quick tests while you tell me what happened."

"I was fine this morning but I was with a friend and I forgot something at home. So I started to walk back when I felt everything just tighten..." She paused when Leif kicked her, scaring her senseless.

"Go on" Dr. Copsen said continuing her exam calmly.

"And I felt it again so I looked through one of the books my mother gave me. It said that if I was having these symptoms I should go to a doctor, because I might be in labor. So I walked here"

"You walked?" Dr. Copsen laughed lightening the mood.

"Yeah not good on my part." Katniss laughed as well when the pain slowly crept through her again.

"Katniss, I don't want to scare you but you are showing all of the signs of preterm labor. I'm going to move you upstairs to the labor and delivery unit so we can give you some drugs to slow or stop your labor okay?"

"Okay" Katniss sighed now having her fears confirmed.

"I'll stay with you and we can call Peeta together alright?" She didn't answer because the pain of what she now knew as a contraction reached its height.

She was transferred to her room and though it made her extremely uncomfortable, a nurse inserted a drip of medication to hopefully stop her labor all together.

"Dr. Copsen, if he was born today would he even live?" Katniss asked even though it hurt her extremely to say such things about her little boy.

"Yes actually. We would prefer he stay right where he is for another seven weeks so his heart and lungs can develop further but if he were born today he would live."

"Okay" Katniss let out her pent up breath. She was calmer knowing if he was born today he would live. Her baby still had a fighting chance.

"Would you like to speak to your husband or do you want me to?"

"I might cry if I do it." Katniss admitted with strain in her tone.

"Alright" She dialed his work number into the phone by Katniss's bed, "Hi Peeta? It's me Dr. Copsen... Yeah I can't really-" Dr. Copsen looked at the phone quizzically, "He put me on hold!" Her and Katniss laughed a bit at how amazingly ignorant he could be.

Peeta was going through a lot of paper work when Dr. Copsen called. He honestly didn't have time and need a few more minutes. He fixed his papers and attempted to make his desk less of an absolute mess.

He eventually gave up and picked up the phone again, "Sorry it's been really busy with all the new hires around here. I have a lot on my plate... Anyway what were you saying?"

"I don't want to alarm you but your wife has gone into preterm labor. We need you down here at the hospital as soon as you can get here."

Peeta literally said nothing. He couldn't say anything, his wife was having a baby and he had put her on hold. "Peeta?"

"I'll be there in five minutes" He said finally hanging up the phone and bolting down the stairs.

"Mr. Mellark do you want me to-"

"Close up for me, I have a family emergency to handle" Peeta said sprinting out the door and into his car. "Crap!" He spat running back inside.

"Mr. Mellark?"

"I forgot my keys" He said leaving for the hospital.

"Well that was..." Dr. Copsen sighed hanging up the phone, "Not the weirdest thing that has ever happened over the phone."

Katniss felt the growing pain return, "Is the pain supposed to stop?"

"It should but I'm going to give it a few hours before we judge if it's working or not."

"Okay" Katniss said shakily.

"You're at five centimeters Katniss, I think we still have a chance to stop it all together. Don't give up, Katniss" Dr. Copsen smiled.

"I'll try" Katniss promised as Dr. Copsen left the room. "Leif, you are not allowed to be born for another seven weeks." Katniss scolded. She took deep breaths until the pain melted away.

Katniss closed her eyes and tried to ward off any ideas of meeting her little boy today. When she opened her eyes she saw Peeta walking aimlessly through the halls. He spotted her and ran into the room.

"Katniss I'm here"

"Yeah after putting our doctor on hold" She joked he didn't find that very funny.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

"It's okay you didn't know I was like this"

"Why didn't you say anything this morning?"

"Because I didn't feel anything this morning."

"Oh Katniss" He said sounding very near tears.

"Calm down Dr. Copsen gave me some drugs to slow it down and hopefully stop it." She smiled at his trembling figure, "Oh god! Peeta what time is it?"

"Eleven thirty why?"

"Annie and Finnick are coming at noon"

"Katniss don't worry about that right now you need to worry about yourself."

"Oh my god and I left Peony at Delly's" Katniss brought her hands to her face. "What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you Katniss. I'll handle it I'll go pick up Annie and Finnick. While I am, I'll pick up Peony alright? Everything will be okay"

Pain gripped at her jolting her entire body forward, "Peeta" She gasped, "I'm in labor ten weeks early its not alright... Just go pick them up and hurry please." She said letting go of his hand.

He nodded and exited the hospital bed room. He went to his car, with heart frantic and his entire body shaking he drove down to the train station. It took every fiber of his being to not cry.

"Uncle Peeta!" He heard suddenly. He hadn't even noticed the train pull in.

"Hi Fin" He picked up the little boy.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look it's Uncle Peeta!"

"I know Fin" She said patiently as she made her way over to Peeta.

She lifted Fin out of his arms and gave him a hug. "How are you?... Where's Katniss I thought she was going to meet us?" He didn't say anything, being as it were to afraid of crying.

"Da! Peeta!" Lily bounced in her fathers arms.

"Yes Lily that's Peeta" Finnick cooed at his daughter.

"Hi Finnick." Peeta greeted. "You want me to put your things in the car?"

"I think I got it"

"Da! Peeny?"

"Peony's not here yet Lily"

"We actually have to pick her up from Delly's house."

"Oh is that where Katniss's at?" Finnick asked innocently.

"No..." Peeta said in a defeated voice. He climbed into the drivers side of the car while Finnick put their luggage in the car and Annie buckled in the children. He covered his eyes as if trying to push the threatening tears back into his eyes.

When everyone was in the car and they began to drive to Delly's Peeta spoke up.

"Katniss... She... She went into preterm labor."

"Oh god is she okay?" Annie asked.

"Right now, they're trying to stop the baby from coming."

"Oh Peeta" Annie sighed.

"I have to go back to the hospital once I drop you guys off."

"I'll come with you" Annie volunteered.

"You don't have to."

"I want to"

"And I'll just stay with the kids" Finnick said trying to lighten the mood as usual.

"Thanks Fin" Annie leaned forward and kissed him.

"Mommy where are we going?"

"To pick up Peony, Fin"

"Blek"

"Fin!"

"She's a girl and Eric told me girls have cooties"

"Your sister's a girl"

"But she doesn't count!"

"I can't wait for his first crush" Finnick laughed.

"Be careful" Peeta laughed parking in front of Delly's, "He might fall in love like I did." Peeta got out of the car and walked up to Delly's house.

"Peeta! What a surprise, come on in"

"I can't Dell I'm in a bit of a hurry"

"What's wrong?"

"Daddy!" Peony ran into his arms.

"Hiya princess" Peeta lifted her up, "Katniss went into labor after she left here."

"But she's not due till October"

"Tell that to Leif, because he's ready now."

"Good luck Peeta"

"Thanks Dell" Peeta said turning swiftly and handing Peony off to Annie.

"Aunt Annie!"

"Hi princess" Annie said buckling in the girl.

"Ew it's Peony"

"Ew it's Fin"

"Hey!" Finnick laughed turning around.

"Uncle Finnick!" Peony smiled.

"Peeny!"

"Hi Lily" Peony smiled.

"Peony how was Delly's?" Peeta asked his daughter.

"I like Aunt Delly's and Amber is cute!"

"Oh yeah Delly had her baby" Peony spoke for the short ride to the house.

"Finnick are you sure you've got everything?" Annie asked as she helped bring in the kids.

"Yeah they'll be fine." He said kissing his wife. "Go"

"Alright" She said dashing into the passenger side of the car next to Peeta. "Peeta you're shaking." She said soothingly.

"I know Annie" He said starting up the car, "I know."

"She'll be fine Peeta, nine out of ten babies live when they're born at twenty three weeks. She and Leif will be fine."

"But here's the thing Annie, we are people who are that one." Peeta started to get choked up. "Prim only had one slip and she got called into the games, Katniss and I both came out with our lives. For gods sake she got pregnant the first time we ever had sex. Annie what if we defy the odds again?"

"Peeta, she'll be fine. She's a fighter if I've ever known one. After seeing Peony I think Leif will be a little fighter just like his parents."

"I'm still scared Annie."

"I know." She sighed, "But you can't be. Katniss needs you to be there for her. Whether she admits it or not she needs you right now." Annie said climbing out of the car. Peeta followed immediately after her.

* * *

Katniss laid in her room never feeling more alone. As dull pain became sharp and minutes passed without anyone by her side, she had never felt more isolated.

She gripped the blankets and bit down on her lip as she felt the pain from her son over take her entire abdomen.

"Katniss" She heard Dr. Copsen enter the room, "How are we doing?"

"It hurts" She inhaled sharply.

"Still?"

"Yes" She said in a distressed tone.

"Where's Peeta?" She asked re-examining her.

Katniss laughed as she let a tear fall, "We were expecting guests today, he had to go pick them up. And I accidentally left our daughter with a friend of ours."

"Looks like the little one wanted to greet the guests no?" Katniss laughed again. "I'll be back when Peeta gets here okay?"

"Okay" Katniss said beginning to cry full on when the doctor left. "Oh my god" She whispered to herself. She was sure the medicine wasn't working she was now petrified to face this. She was alone with her son coming quicker than anyone thought. She didn't want this she wouldn't do this it would be impossible.

"Katniss" She heard again, this time it was Peeta who came to her bed side. "Shh don't cry I'm here now." He kissed her forehead and wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

"Katniss" Annie said with a sweet and hushed voice, "We're here for you okay?"

Katniss didn't answer as she faced pain she groaned as an answer instead.

"Finnick is watching the kids."

"God you left him to watch our children?" Katniss laughed, "He'll lose them."

Annie laughed, "He'll be fine we have to worry about you right now."

Katniss only felt slight relief in their attendance. She couldn't help the fear that surfaced every time she was in pain, and she couldn't help the fact that her little boy would be too young to breath on his own.

"Good you're here" Dr. Copsen entered the room, "Hi nice to meet you, I'm their doctor" she shook Annie's hand.

"I'm Annie" she smiled.

"Katniss I don't want to alarm you but it seems that the medicine we gave you is not working. If I had to guess I think your blood is rejecting the drug and speeding up your labor." Katniss gripped Peeta's hand for reassurance which was given to her. "I want you to know we are preparing for the baby as we speak and we have a whole team standing by for your little boy."

"Alright" Katniss said trying not to let her tears get the better of her.

"I'm going to check right now to see how far along we are." She began her exam, "Do you have a name picked out?"

"Leif" Katniss said.

"Leif Wyatt Mellark" Peeta said proudly putting his hand over their little boy for the last time before his birth.

"Katniss, you're at eight centimeters right now, I'll be back in a half hour and well just see what we can do from there."

Katniss nodded but said nothing afraid to let her emotions over take her.

"He's not ready... His lungs are too small, his heart's not strong enough." Katniss began to sob.

"Hey Katniss, don't think about that. He's ready he wants to meet you, babies don't come until they're needed you know" Annie said calmly and lovingly, "You need him for one reason or another. So he's coming."

Katniss tried to stop crying but she wasn't sure she could.

"Katniss," Peeta said, "do you remember what you told me? When Jo was going through a hard time you told me, 'Sometimes love is enough'. Right now love has to be enough." Peeta looked right into her eyes.

Katniss finally did stop crying and soon after Dr. Copsen reentered the room, "How are we doing?"

"Better" Katniss sighed even though just then she felt like someone had stabbed her in the back.

"Okay Katniss, we're going to go ahead and move you up to the delivery room. Annie I'm going to have to ask you to go to the waiting room."

"Alright" Annie said moving out of the room. Katniss didn't even notice being moved because she was blinded by pain.

"Katniss" She heard Peeta's voice break her from her trance, "You can do it" She suddenly took notice of the ten other people present in her room.

"Katniss" Dr. Copsen said from behind a surgical mask "You need to push"

So she did and simultaneously tried to not cry out in pain. She whimpered as she fell back on the propped up pillows.

She knew Dr. Copsen was saying something to her but she didn't pay attention she pushed again, trying not to scream she held her breath. Which she reminded herself was a bad idea.

But the moment she opened her mouth to breathe she found her voice cracking trying not to yell.

She felt a release of pressure as she gasped for pain filled breaths of air. She noticed the baby wasn't crying.

"Peeta you need to come with me!" Dr. Copsen said hastily.

Katniss felt Peeta's hand leave hers and she suddenly felt alone again.

Her vision was blurred when she opened her eyes. No one was in her room, she felt incredibly and exceedingly alone. Then she felt a trickle of blood seeping through the bed sheets and caking onto her legs.

'I'm still bleeding' she thought and in a sudden memory she recalled reading about child birth and what it means if you still bleed, 'I'm dying' She thought.

She pressed the button on her bed to call a nurse. Her tired eyes tried to close, her back stabbed her with pain, and she could still feel blood coming out of her body.

"Hello Mrs. Mellark" a nurse said clearly reading off a paper, "What do you need?" She asked kindly.

"I think I'm bleeding" She said with a small voice. Her voice sounded as tired as her muscles felt. She never thought her voice could be so small, so helpless. She now knew that she was completely helpless.

The nurse began to examine her. Katniss swore she felt the nurse's shock when she noticed all of the blood on the bed, "Mrs. Mellark I'm going to leave really quickly but I'll be back." Katniss felt the life draining out of her as her blood did.

She wasn't sure how she had wanted to die but she knew this wasn't how. She didn't want to die alone, she didn't want to die from something as simple as child birth. Most of al she didn't want to leave her new born son without a mother.

But fate can be cruel she knew this well.

"Mrs. Mellark we're going to take you up to surgery we need you to give us the okay."

"Go ahead" Katniss sighed wondering if it really hurt this bad to die. She was unconscious before they even reached the elevator.

* * *

She could see one thing when her eyes opened, light. Light from the sun and she heard laughter. She looked dead in front of her and saw a little girl. Then she knew it was her little girl.

Peony was running and then Peeta came up from behind her. He lifted her up over his head and twirled her around.

"Daddy!" She squealed. The little girl was only two at this time and she laughed like all children should. "Daddy!" She squealed again.

"Yes princess?" He asked resting her on his hip.

"I love you"

"I love you too" He laughed. Then Katniss noticed glass separating her from this happy memory.

She then was taller, and knew she was in her bedroom. She smiled knowing exactly where she was. He spun the little girl again as Katniss turned around she cautiously walked into her and Peeta's bathroom.

She looked at her face and her body. She looked into her eyes noticing that she had changed.

She found herself holding her birth control pills. She looked at them and then into her eyes again.

She tightened her hand gripping the pills before wrapping them in tissues and throwing them away.

Her happiest memory deciding she was ready, finally ready for a baby. In that moment she was healed, the moment she trusted herself with having another child. The moment she chose someone else's happiness over her own. The moment she created a new life that only she knew about. The moment she grew up and abandoned her old rough edged self.

She now knew if she were going to die this was what she wanted to remember her happiest moment on earth.

* * *

Peeta found his way to the waiting room where Annie sat. "He's perfect." Peeta smiled and hugged his friend, "He's so perfect"

"Who does he look like?" Annie asked excitedly.

"He has my eyes and hair but he looks just like her." Peeta's excitement was clearly much more than Annie had imagined it being.

"Have you seen Katniss?"

"No, I don't know where she is"

"Do you wanna tell your wife about your perfect son?" She laughed at his childish smile. She followed him to the nurses desk.

"Hi could you tell me where Katniss Mellarks room is?" The nurse was on the phone but did not take long to hang up. Peeta asked her again and her smile wavered.

"Um... One moment please." She turned to her computer typed in a few things and then turned back to him. "She doesn't have a room sir. You are her husband?"

"Yes... Where is she?"

"She's been in surgery for the past two hours" Peeta's smile vanished without a trace, "I'll call her surgeon and see where they're at." The nurse turned and dialed on the phone.

Annie put her arms around Peeta, "Oh god" He said cupping his face.

The nurse spent a few minutes on the phone before hanging up. "Alright Dr. Copsen just got there. Mrs. Mellark lost a lot of blood, but they gave her a transfusion and now they're going to hopefully get her where she needs to be."

"Is she going to be okay?" Peeta asked the nurse's eyes dropped from his.

"Legally I can't say yes or not to that question but it's looking good for her." Her face did not match what she said to him.

Peeta went back to the sitting area, mentally beating himself. What was happening to her?

"Peeta it'll-"

"Please Annie" He said allowing tears to fall down his face, "Don't."

"Peeta-" He cut her off by getting up and leaving her presence. He went straight to the NICU where he sat next to his son. His flesh and blood who was hooked up to multiple machines because his heart wasn't big enough to beat on its own.

The little boy who was having dozens of drugs pumped into him so he could have fully grown lungs. The baby started to resemble a robot more than a new born.

He couldn't have been more than six inches long. Peeta rested his own hands on the little boy. Just then he felt the boy's fingers curl around his own.

Leif's small red hand gripped onto Peeta's smallest finger. The baby's eyes remained closed but he kicked his feet a little.

"Leif" Peeta began to say, "I promised you I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you. I'll keep that promise for all time." The baby squeezed his daddy's finger again but no matter what Peeta was still frightened. His wife had the most perfect son and she may not ever get to meet him.

* * *

Annie now sat alone in the waiting room. She got up eventually and called Finnick.

"Hello?"

"Finnick? It's Annie"

"What's wrong" He asked instinctively.

"..."

"Annie is everything okay?"

"She had the baby. But she's in surgery."

"Annie-"

"Peeta's freaking out because they aren't sure she'll live. Finnick I'm scared she won't make it."

"Annie-"

"Excuse me" a nurse walked up to Annie.

"Got to go Finnick" She hung up and turned to the nurse. "Sorry"

"No you are with Mrs. Mellark right?"

"Yes" Annie answered cautiously.

"Doctor Copsen just got out of surgery and would like to speak with you."

"What about her husband?"

"She can't find him.

Annie took a deep breath and walked back out to the waiting room. "Annie? Where's Peeta?" Dr. Copsen asked.

"I'm not sure."

"I'd just like to give him an update on Katniss." Just as she said this Peeta exited to NICU and walked over to Annie and Dr. Copsen.

"I saw you through the window." He admitted.

"Well I would just like to speak to you all about Katniss." Peeta was silent "She's going to be just fine." Peeta almost faint at those words. "I'll take you to see her if you like"

"Really quick... um...Do we know why she...?"

"Most likely? Stress, she was probably extremely stressed out and some times when that happens the baby tries to slow the mother down with fake contractions. But the way Leif was positioned the fake contractions became real ones. The medicine we gave her didn't react well with her blood. It actually made her heart pump faster which is why she bled so much."

Peeta nodded slowly, "I knew she shouldn't have gone to the meeting" He said, "I told her not to go"

"Sometimes women can't be moved." Annie said calmly.

"This could have been avoided, but that is irrelevant now" Dr. Copsen said. "Would you like to see her?" He nodded and followed her into a bed room where Katniss lay asleep. "She should be waking up any time now." She said before leaving.

He took a seat next to her and stoked her hand. He allowed himself a few tears, "I told you." He laughed, "I told you that you shouldn't have gone. But you didn't listen."

"Do I ever?" a weak voice came out of her. Her eyes opened slightly.

He stood up and looked intently into her eyes. He kissed her before crying again, "You're awake."

"I could tell" She said sarcastically.

"Leif... He's perfect, absolutely perfect."

"Just like you" She laughed, "Peeta?"

"Yes?"

"No more kids"

"Alright" He laughed kissing her again.

* * *

In several months time Katniss and Leif were allowed to go home and begin their new lives.

Leif learned to walk and soon talk after that. We pick up our story right before Leif's first birthday.

"Ma!" The little blonde boy called from his crib.

"Mommy, Leif wants you" Peony called to her mother.

"Alright Leif" Katniss picked up the little boy who in turn grasped her hair. "No sweetie" She pulled it back. He gripped her shirt next.

"Ma, f-f-ff-"

"Yes?"

"Food?"

"Good boy Leif" She praised kissing his cheeks. She brought him to the table where she placed the children's lunches in front of them. The phone rang and Katniss answered it.

"Hello?"

"Kitty Kat?"

"Jo?"

"Tell me who else on this god forsaken planet calls you Kitty Kat?"

"Right, what's up?"

"I think you should sit down real quick." Katniss left the kitchen and went into the living room. "We're at war." Katniss didn't say anything, "They bombed district one three days ago, Paylor made a treaty with Oceania."

Reader you may not know this but when I spoke of countries turning away from the problem altogether it was the same for Australia and South America. These people held up the ideas of freedom and liberty that the United States had lost. These were the people who unified to regain the lost art of justice. These people were now a becon of hope for the country of Panem.

"What does this mean?"

"Pack your bags kid, I got my orders to fly out tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Leif's first birthday."

"Don't be shocked if you get orders kid... Hunter you want what?... Hunter wants to say hello."

"Hewo!"

"Hi baby" Katniss smiled.

"Well guess who gets to tell her husband he'll be a single father for a while?"

"I wish you the same luck I did when you told him you were pregnant."

"Because that ended so well last time." Jo hung up and Katniss sighed.

"Mommy!" Peony shouted from the next room.

"Yes?"

"Leif spilt his food." Oh how Katniss would miss the days that spilt food was her biggest problem.

The day after Leif's birthday Katniss and Peeta got their orders. Two days and they would be gone in foreign territory fighting different battles.

Prim being handicapped was unable to go abroad, so she made the journey to twelve to take care of Peony and Leif.

"Peony, you're going to be a big girl for mommy while I'm gone right?"

"I'll be the best big sister ever."

"That's my girl" Katniss hugged her daughter and kissed her cheek before her and Peeta switched children.

"Ma don go!" Leif cried.

"Leif I have to go." She argued even though it was futile to fight with such a young child.

"Don go"

"How about I sing you a lullaby that you can keep for yourself. That way you can know exactly what daddy and I are fighting for." She bounced the child as he cried into his mother's neck, she paused for a moment trying to recall the lyrics, "Someday when we are wiser, when the world is older. When we have learned I pray, someday we may yet live to live, and let live.

"Someday life will fairer need will be rarer, and greed will not pay. God speed this bright millennia, on it's way, let it come someday.

"Someday our fight will be won then, we'll stand in the sun, in that bright after noon.

"Till then on days when the sun is gone, we'll hang on. If we wish upon the moon.

"There are some days dark and bitter. Seems we haven't got a prayer. But a prayer for something better, is the one thing we all share.

""Someday when we are wiser, when the world is older. When we have love and I pray, someday we may yet live to live, and one day, someday.

"Someday life will fairer need will be rarer, and greed will not pay. God speed this bright millennia, on it's way, let it come if we wish upon the moon.

"One day someday, soon. Someday soon." The little boy was fast asleep in her arms. "I love you." She whispered in his ear before passing him to Prim.

"Bye Prim" She hugged her sister who was crying soft tears.

"You better come back so help me god."

"I will little duck, I will."

"I'm not so little anymore Kat."

"You'll always be little." She smiled before joining Peeta on the train. She was never so sad to see her family waving goodbye to her, and she had never been so afraid to not return.

* * *

_Hello my darlings this one was a bit on the dramatic side but you know what you get explosions in the next one... So you're welcome. Stay lovely_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hey y'all have you ever heard the saying curse like a soldier till ya get back to the family? Well yeah she curses quite a lot... Have fun!_

* * *

Katniss and Peeta were put in charge of two different platoons. Katniss was sent off to the Republic Boarders while Peeta was sent to the center of conflict close to what we know as China.

Katniss found herself completely out of her element in this barren desert. Hills upon hills of sand were not reminders of home.

She walked her entire platoon through open landscape fearful someone may open fire on them at any given moment until they came upon strange greenery and they knew they were close.

She was unsure how much time had passed since she had be given this mission that seemed like busy work. She had seen action before entering the desert but this mission was her most important.

They soon came across an abandoned village, it looked to be made of adobe brick work. This place was quite and it seemed haunted. This place was not safe.

"Keep your guard up" She told her men, "We don't know what's around here." They began to search the homes for supplies.

Katniss however ran across a hidden fresh water stream where a girl no older than eighteen sat crouched in the underbrush terrified.

Katniss met this young girls horrified eyes and for a while they just looked at one another. She had stone cold brown eyes that told fear and a life of only fear.

The girl wore no shoes and her traditional garb was worn thin. Katniss opened her mouth to speak but she remembered these women could not speak themselves nor knew English.

Suddenly a little boy appeared from the under brush.

This girl was a mother and as Katniss looked at this girl she noticed a baby cradled in her arms.

Katniss reached into her backpack and pulled out a package of dried meat. She attempted to hand it to the girl but she coward away in fear.

"It's okay" Katniss said then saw the girl's face contort with confusion, "I'm a mother too" She said not knowing the word in her language for mother. She laid the food down and stood up. Eyes locked with the girl she backed away.

She replaced the bushes and crept back to her group.

"Everyone ready?" She asked before a large explosion rumbled the earth. "What the hell?" Katniss shouted in an angry spell. She looked up and saw the most terrifying thing she could have ever dreamed up. Dozens of airships from the Kingdoms. They had the emblem of a smoke stack on the bombs they were beginning to drop on the village.

Suddenly the heavy weight her and her platoon had been carrying seemed to get lighter as they ran.

They weren't sure what they were going to run into and Katniss remembered suddenly what her mission was.

"Wait" she called to her troop as they got deeper into the undergrowth. She knew what lay right in front of them, a Republic camp they were probably abandoning it as they spoke but which way would they go?

Katniss now faced a life or death choice as the earth rumbled under her feet. She charged off turning sharply cutting through the woods with her platoon barely a foot behind her.

Her number one priority was getting her men to meet the others. She knew now that these bombs weren't actually an act of war.

They were instead a push to a battle. Katniss swiftly broke through the trees and found the camp of Oceanian troops.

She led her group over the hills and to the front lines. "Commander" She greeted her superior.

"Bring the guests?"

"Yes sir" She looked over at those fleeing from their Republic camp.

"Everdeen take the right side."

"Yes sir" She said leading her troop to the side they had come. Her first mission in months, a suicide mission, what better way to join an army?

Her men followed her with faith, believing solely in her ability to lead them in the right direction. She was their life line, their commander, their lives depended on her. Just how she liked it.

Hiding in the underbrush her platoon waited for the Republic's forces to open fire which after a short time they did.

Katniss saw the battle field illuminate with the light of gun shots. She swore she could hear the blood pouring out of body cavities. The ground trembled under the might of the gun fire, in all honesty it was the most graceful fighting anyone had seen.

The sand was white until dyed crimson. The sky a misty orange and purple as the sun set making the crystal-like sand gleam. no wind, no clouds all this sandy earth that some how held an entire green ecosystem before breaking off into the endless sand dunes one more.

Suddenly a group of the opposing force turned and opened fire on Katniss's platoon.

"Everyone have enough A&E?" Katniss shouted as if the open fire weren't so bad. "We're moving in" She shouted over the gun fire.

She got up from her knees and still shooting took large steps. Her regiment stopped and fell to their stomachs, shooting rapids. Ever so often they stopped to watch the beauty of sand geysers when their bullets lodged themselves into the sand dunes.

Strange how something destructive looks eerily beautiful isn't it? How something so wrong as war looks beautiful. When was the last time you saw a beautiful explosion? What about the last time you thought someone looked so pretty as their body lays ever so silently in their death? Have you ever seen destruction as beautiful? Have you seen lightning as beauty? How about a tornado? Maybe even someone whose drive destroyed them, in some way we have all seen this.

Katniss heard click and mini explosion of her gun go off as she turned to her men yet again, "You ready?" She asked, out of the blue sudden rapid fire fell upon the regiment. Katniss had only five minutes to look up before she shot back, "ADW" She called back.

Just hold 'em off, she remembered her orders, just hold 'em off.

She looked around the battle field for a sign. The darkness of the night would over cast most signals but not the one she was looking for.

She shot a few more times trying not to feel anything at all. Not sadness for death, not a strange pleasure the scene portrayed in front of her that made fighting look more like exploding stars, Not fear for her life and the lives of her platoon, Not even admiration for their bravery.

Then she saw it, the signal, "Fall back" She called. Everyone began their run back into the underbrush. Katniss bringing up the rear saw two of her men leaning on one another for support.

This made her smile at the bitter sweet taste war left in her mouth at this point. War the worst invention of human kind, the thing that bloodies text books and tears apart families, brings out the kindness of a human being. It brings out our light, our giving hearts and kind souls as we help one another and ultimately try and save them from their ultimate fate.

Breaking Katniss from her trance she was knocked down by the shear force of a grenade thrown. She was the only one relatively in the rang of fire. She stood immediately, "Hurry" She shouted to her men. She turned around and shot again, she would admit she wasn't nearly as good with a gun as she was with a bow. She had to admit however that she was damn good for only having three weeks of training.

Running backwards she fired more shots before running into the safety of the over grown territory.

She found her regiment gasping for breath. She took notice of her own sudden fatigue, "Everyone present"

"Yes ma'am" Sergeant Gibson answered, he was from Australia and well liked by everyone. He was one of three Aussi's in Katniss's regiment. Katniss thought how odd it was that these people who didn't know she existed not two months ago trusted her so easily.

"Great job boys, Lets head back to base so I can give the AAR"

"Another battle a success" Officer Roberts laughed. "What does that make? a perfect six?" Roberts was from district six and one of the funniest people she had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"For you eight maybe Ricky and I have been soldiers since our little rebellion" Major Ryans slapped Major Evans on the back. Ryans and Evens had grown up together in eight, Evens actually married Ryans little sister before this war.

"Best not get in Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen's way" Privet Harris spoke up. "She'll blast ya to hell and back." Katniss felt weird hearing her maiden name used but there was no other Everdeen in the army even though her full title was Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen-Mellark her regiment just used her first title.

Harris was notable the cockiest bastard Katniss had ever met. He surpassed her first impressions of Finnick, but it was hard to hate the guy. Born and raised in Australia's outback he was very handsome, and knowing that very well he enjoyed making young girls swoon.

"Thanks Collin, How you holding up Miles?" Katniss walked over to their only injured member.

"Mighty fine ma'am" He laughed. Major Bennet was born and raised on a small island off the coast of South America, his family owned a sugar plantation and if you had to chose one would say he was the kindest guy in the regiment.

"Privet Johnson, Privet Kevin hurry up." Katniss called, "Ya know we don't leave anyone behind." The youngsters of the group hustled excitedly to join their leader. Johnson and Kevin were from districts ten and three respectively. They were the youthful spirit the regiment needed. These two were the best of friends even though they hadn't known each other until the war.

"Corporal Owens, did you happen to catch the shooting star?" Harris spoke up.

"My head ain't up in the clouds boy" Owens shoved his friend playfully. Owens was the only other Aussi in the group and was also the biggest teddy bear one could ever know.

"Was it everything you dreamed of kids?" Major Evens asked.

"Sadly it was prettier then I thought it'd be" Gibson responded.

"Well they ain't all like that but glad you can appreciate the beauty of death" Major Ryans laughed heartily. "after all our first fight in the desert and we did a damn good job." They joked the whole way back to camp.

Katniss broke from her group in search of the Major General leading this expedition.

"Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen" She saluted her superior. The Major General was from South America and had to be the jolliest man anyone had ever met.

"Sir"

"Give me the AAR"

"Everything went according to plan sir."

"That's what we like to hear." He laughed. "Your next orders are in." He slid a packet toward her.

She opened it and read it, "Do you really think a platoon of ten people can accomplish this sir?"

"You seem very capable Everdeen, your men trust you with their lives." He took a seat and ran his hand through his grey hair. "With those two things anything and everything can be accomplished."

"Thank you sir"

"It's been a pleasure. At ease" They saluted once again before Katniss exited to meet her boys.

"We got orders boys" She announced, "We leave in the morning at six oh hundred hours."

"They like us that much huh?" Owens laughed.

"Course they do" Roberts scoffed, "We got the best leader."

"Get some shut eye boys we've got a big, big day tomorrow." She quoted smiling to herself being the only one to understand her hint at Effie.

When morning came round Katniss and her regiment got on a hover craft and were flown to northern Siberia. AKA the most barren and unwelcoming place on earth.

Snow up to your knees in the middle of summer. Screw that actually during the slightly less cold winter.

They arrived at their base where Katniss received further information on their strategy.

"Alright boys we got our orders" Katniss said entering her troops bunk house.

"Suicides I bet" Bennet smirked as he rolled onto his stomach to face her.

"You'd win that bet" Katniss laughed.

"Oh goodie Christmas came early boys" Harris jumped off the bed he laid on. "When do we head out?"

"We hit the bitching cold in thirty-nine hundred hours."

"Leaves us enough time to screw round a bit" Johnson laughed.

"Don't get too wild boys we're still on an army base." Katniss smirked at her men before leaving the room.

She made her way to the communications room. She sat down in front of the large computer and called Peeta's line.

He picked up as soon as the ringer went off, "Hi" She smiled.

"Haven't heard from you in a while started to get worried" He smiled and she did too, "Where you stationed?"

"Siberia, do you know what month it is?"

"Uh... July?"

"Yep and the snow is literally half way up my shin."

"Lord" He laughed. "Hey you been given orders?"

"I leave tomorrow."

"They're keeping you busy"

"What about you?"

"I'm alright, I'm at headquarters"

"You've been there the whole year when ya gonna get out there?"

"That's not what people of my rank do Katniss" he chuckled.

"Ah" Her computer 'rang' with a call. "It's Prim and the kids" She saw a smile flash in his eyes.

"Hi mommy! Hi daddy!" Peony answered.

"Hi princess" Katniss smiled.

"Mama! Da!" Leif crawled onto his sisters lap.

"Hi Leif" Peeta cooed "How are you?"

"Goo" He said leaving off his ending sounds.

"Where's Auntie Prim?" Katniss asked.

"I'm here Katniss the reception's just awful, where are you anyway?"

"Some place where it snows in summer."

"Does it really snow in summer mommy?" Peony asked in a child like fashion.

"It does sweetie." Then her computer rang again this time it was Finnick, he was home for the time being because Annie had just had their twins, little Brooklyn and her brother Rainer.

"Hi Finnick join in why don't ya?" Katniss greeted, he held a tiny pink swaddled baby. "Finnick she's darling."

"Annie they're on" Annie walked over with a similar blue swaddled baby.

"Hi little ones" Peeta laughed.

"Unc Fin, Aun Ann"

"Yes Leif that's Finnick and Annie" Peony confirmed.

"Hi baby" Annie said bouncing her little boy. Katniss felt suddenly the rumbling she had familiarized with that of bombs dropping. She was in so much shock she screamed and covered her head from the falling bits.

Everyone on her web chat was yelling her name asking what was wrong.

She simply had no time to answer her loved ones. She looked one last time at the images of her family before shutting it down and running to her bunk room.

"Looks like we're leaving early boys. Dress warm" She yelled over the drop of another bomb.

"What's happening?" Privet Kevin asked.

"The Kingdoms are telling us to get our sorry asses on the road." Officer Roberts shouted zipping up his largest jacket before slinging his bags over his shoulders.

"The want us to get the fuck off their territory" Major Bennet shouted.

"And want us to kick their sorry asses faster" Harris laughed.

"Enough chit-chat this is work now boys. Move it!" She shouted as they quickened their pace.

They followed their leader into the freezing cold winters of Siberia, they ran as fast as snow guarded legs could carry them. Into the forest at high speed until they finally looked back at the now abandoned base.

Katniss didn't look long because the night was slowly reaching its peak darkness. "Alright, we've got to keep moving." Katniss said trudging up the thick taiga forest. "It'll be good to get a head start anyway.

"Where are we going ma'am?" Bennet asked following her lead.

"Into insanity" She laughed.

"Well aren't we always?" Gibson chuckled.

"Yeah they've sent us to hell and every time we manage to somehow scrape by." Harris laughed. This was good light heartedness in a place so dim.

"It's a place they have actually named insanity," She said, "It's the school they taken disabled children to. We're on a mission to capture the place before they cut open innocent children for science."

All was silent except the humble trudging of snow.

"I've always hated science" Harris spoke up.

"Shut up you narcissistic bastard" Owens laughed.

"I'm with him I got a D in physics" Gibson laughed.

"You god damned Aussi's never know how to handle any thing serious" Evens slapped Harris on the back.

"Well ya know what they say. Ya don't have to be smart to join the army! You just have to have a target painted on your back" Ryans cackled.

"No one has ever said that." Katniss laughed.

"Like you'd know" Evens snorted.

"They do say 'you don't have to be smart to get shot you don't have to be dumb either' back in district three say that anyway." Kevin spoke up.

"What in hell goes on in those districts?" Gibson asked.

"That's classified information I'm likely to tell you some day" Katniss playfully snapped.

"You don't want to know" Johnson said, "Trust us."

"Yeah we kind of sucked ass five years ago." Evens confirmed.

"Hell we suck now." Katniss said setting down her pack and setting up camp.

"Bull, we are way better now." Ryans protested helping his leader.

"You gonna tell us now?" Owens asked.

"It isn't exactly a campfire tale nor a bedtime story" Katniss smiled with her eyes.

"We're men Lieutenant we can handle it!" Bennet snickered at Harris's remark.

"Fine." Katniss agreed. "After we set up camp!"

* * *

_And Yay! It's done! These next few will be pretty short because there is so much plot I have to fit in them that I don't want your amazing brains to implode. Love y'all thanks again and stay lovely!_


	11. Chapter 11

"It started a long time ago," Katniss began the story of the Hunger Games. She told her detail of her own games, Evens and Ryans took over talking about the war.

"... Well have fun sleeping boys!" Katniss laughed.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Harris said, "The hell is wrong with you?"

"Dunno am I just too damn heartless to care?" Katniss asked.

"Y'all are fucked up" Harris said.

"Don't try and tell us what we already know." Johnson laughed. They settled down for the night and the morning brought on the newness of their surroundings.

Blankets of snow as far as the eye could see. The troop began a routine of sorts that day, always fed just enough that they couldn't complain, always a laugh to be shared when there was silence, and forever a fire inside them burning for one reason or another.

They found themselves never cold even as the months clearly waned into the season of fall. They always found a light even though the sun set quicker then they could walk a mile.

Though time escaped these ten soldiers they felt they were simply living an eternity with friendship and courage that never did fade. Have you ever felt that? Felt like you had all eternity with those people near you and your euphoria was simply endless. Time was nonexistent and happiness was endless.

"Lets sing a marching song!" Harris suggested one exceptionally dark bitter day.

"No" Owens turned briefly.

"Do you know the Caissons song, my friend?" Ryans asked.

"We learned it when we last marched in the rebellion" Evens said.

"We do actually!" Bennet smiled. The others in the brigade even Katniss smiled at the cheery song about the biter sweet truth.

"Ah hell fine!" Owens rolled his eyes.

So Katniss started them off, "Two three!"

"Over hill over Dale we have hit the dusty trail and those caissons are rolling along."

"Counter march, round about!"

"Hear those cabin soldiers shout while those caissons go rolling along!

"For it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the Field Artillery, call off your numbers loud and strong!"

"Two! Three!"

"And where're we go you will always know that those caissons are rolling along!

"To the front,day and night. Where the doughboys dig and fight, and those caissons go rolling along.

"Our barrage will be there, fired on the rockets glare. While those caissons go rolling along!

"For it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the Field Artillery, call off your numbers loud and strong!"

"Two! Three!"

"And where're we go you will always know that those caissons are rolling along!

"With the cav'lry, boot to boot, we will join in the pursuit, while those caissons are rolling along.

"Action front!"

"At a trot!"

"Volley fire with shell and shot, while those caissons go rolling along!

"For it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the Field Artillery, call off your numbers loud and strong!"

"Two! Three!"

"And where're we go you will always know that those caissons are rolling along!

"Should the foe penetrate, ev'ry gunner lies in wait, and those caissons go rolling along."

"Fire at will! Lay 'em Low!"

"Never stop for any foe, as those caissons go rolling along!

"For it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the Field Artillery, call off your numbers loud and strong!"

"Two! Three!"

" And where're we go you will always know that those caissons are rolling along!

"But if fate me should call, if in action should I fall. Keep those caissons rolling along.

"Then in peace I'll abide, when I take the final ride, on a caisson that's rolling along!

"For it's hi! Hi! Hee! In the Field Artillery, call off your numbers loud and strong!"

"Two! Three!"

"And where're we go you will always know that those caissons are rolling along!"

"Keep 'em rolling!"

"That those caissons are rolling along!"

"Batt'ry halt!"

"Never heard that song with girl before" Harris commented at the end of the jolly tune.

"Ya seem to learn a lot when your lieutenant colonel is a woman huh boys?" Katniss snickered.

"Ma'am yes ma'am!" Harris winked jokingly.

"Watch yourself boy. When the woman's husband is a general you don't even wanna think about that!" Owens spoke up with a serious threat in his voice. Stuck in his ways Owens was in a sense a very 'righteous' man with his beliefs.

"Joke!" Evens laughed.

"The bastard can't be serious!" Ryans cackled.

"What can I say it ain't my nature!" Harris defended.

"Shh!" Katniss hissed as they neared their target zone. "Alright boys come on here I need y'all to understand what I'm saying right now. no more jokes until this place is vanishing in the distance.

"What we have to do is shut down those operating rooms and hopefully gather as many children as are willing to go-"

"Ma'am, I don't mean to interrupt but... What if they don't want to come?" Kevin spoke up.

"Then we leave them there."

"But, won't they-"

"Privet Kevin, if they don't want to leave we cannot force them. They're children not cattle, plus they may be too bad off to come with us." She looked into his sad grey eyes, "There isn't anything more we can do for them." She said this sadly. "But as we all know far too well, orders are orders. We can't disobay what we're told to do in this line of work you understand that right?"

They all nodded to this no matter how overwhelmingly sad it made them.

"What's the plan?" Roberts spoke up.

She spoke swiftly and softly to her men instructing them very carefully, "Remember don't you dare let your emotions get away from you. If any of you even consider crying I'll slap you so hard you will cry. Understood?"

A silent resonance of, "Yes ma'am" Left an eerie echo in their ears.

"Alright lets go." They clambered up the final hill that lay in their path before they saw Insanity.

It looked like a prison barbed wire fences, a large stone cold brick building, and only one escape.

"Lord almighty" Owens sighed.

"Proceed with caution, these kids only have doctors around now. The war called almost all of their soldiers to arms. It's only us" Katniss explained. They slipped into the hospital which of course everyone noticed.

The call lines were down and therefore no one was in reach. They locked down the hospital in a matter of moments however. This would not be a problem it might even end up an advantage.

"Good just what we want." Katniss said. "Come on third floor." They followed Katniss ready to shoot if necessary. They reached their first destination, the testing facility. "Shoot anyone who is not a child." Katniss ordered even though it hurt her to say so. "Don't forget the mission." They split up and Katniss took her first room. A little girl no older than six lay strapped to a table screaming for help. Nurses and doctors alike stood over her with scalpels and drugs to test.

"Stop right there!" Katniss said holding her gun at shooting range. The four adults dropped everything and turned to her. She shot straight killing each of them with one bullet.

"Please god!" The little girl begged.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you" Katniss said softly.

"Please, no. I'm only eight years old." The little girl cried freely now without any doctors trying to preform tests on her. This little girl with white blonde hair and sapphire eyes silently rasped her pleas. She was too small to be eight, how was that even remotely possible?

"I promise I won't hurt you" Katniss went to the bed and un-strapped the little girl. "I'm here to help you, my name is Katniss and I'm here to get you out."

"I'm not crazy I swear, I only have dyslexia!" She cried harder.

"I'm not going to hurt you, sweetie look at me." The sapphire eyes pleaded with hers, "I'm a mother, I would never hurt a child. I'm here to save you. What's your name?"

"Angel"

"That's a beautiful name" Katniss said releasing the little girl.

"Are you with Oceania?" The girl hiccuped as she rubbed her wrists.

"Yes, do you want to walk or do you want me to carry you?"

"I can walk... Please you have to save my sister Katniss she's not even a year old."

"Shh, calm down my team and I are doing everything we can to save everyone."

"No one else will go with you, they're all brain washed. It'd be useless please you have to save Ariel! She's only six months old! She's the only infant here! I don't know what they'll do to her please!"

"Take me to her" Katniss said breaking her own orders for this little girl.

"Thank you! God answered my prayers." The white blonde girl led Katniss to the only room where a definite screaming came from.

"Stay here for me Angel" The girl nodded as Katniss entered and shot every doctor in the room.

"Shh don't cry Ariel we're here to save you." She hushed the crying child with sapphire eyes to match her sister. The baby felt warm caring arms surround her and she silenced a bit. "You're safe now." Katniss bounced the small child. Katniss knelt to Angel. "Do you want me to carry her?"

"Only when I get tired" Angle said taking her sister. When the baby opened her eyes to see her sister she stopped crying.

Katniss went into the next room where she shot the doctors again.

"Who are you?" The boy of thirteen asked.

"My name is Katniss I'm here to save you"

"Save me? That's a joke! The Kingdoms are great!" He turned his head, "She's joking? What should we do? Kill her? But I can't move!" He turned back to Katniss "Hey get me out of this so I can kill you!" It broke Katniss's heart but she back out of the room. "Too far gone," She whispered closing the door.

She went through this process eight more times each child with a different illness. One with autism another with early schizophrenia even children with personality disorders and aspergers. All of them however remained loyal to the Kingdoms.

She met her men in the designated area with Angel and Ariel. "Boys this is Angel and her sister Ariel, Privet Kevin, Privet Johnson. Get them warm clothes and meet us in the world." She said with a nod so they knew where to go. "Angel you can trust these men like you trusted me. Alright?"

"Okay,"

"We'll see you soon okay?" The little girl nodded and went with the two Privets.

They headed into the belly of the beast, the surgery ward where children fought them off even under anesthetics. Children pledging allegiance to their country even in the times of their immediate demise. The Kingdoms had done well to train their generations if only two little girls wanted to leave this place. One of them didn't even have the ability to tell them no.

They next went to the terminal ward, even on their death beds these children vowed to die in the Kingdoms. Heart wrenching moments of distaste for Katniss and their men. Children in dire need who could get none at all turned away from the soldiers pledging their faithfulness to their home.

Their final destination was the physical ailments ward. Children with cancers and failed organs refused to leave their beds. Until of course Katniss came upon on a certain boy.

She had done as she always had shot the doctors and looked at the boy, "I'm here to save you." She said little hope in her heart.

"Oh thank god!" He began to cry "please you have to get me out of here" She could have cried upon hearing these words. Her spirits lifted so high she smiled broadly. She ran to his bed, "They threw me in here after they found out I was ambidextrous."

He cried happy tears now, "I'm only nine and they said I was a shame to society. Thank you my surgery was tonight oh lord thank you!" He wrapped his arms around her neck when she un-strapped him. She lifted him out of the bed. "Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?" She asked.

"I can walk ma'am" He said standing on his own feet. She could hardly believe he was nine he was certainly taller than Angel but he was dangerously small.

"What's your name?"

"Benjamin but you can call me Ben!"

"Then you can call me Katniss"

"You're from Oceania right?"

"Yes"

"Thank you!" He hugged her again.

"Is that everyone?" Katniss asked her empty-handed soldiers.

"Yes ma'am" Gibson sighed.

"Boys meet Ben, he's the last of them." They all looked down in shame.

"Major Ryans, Major Evens get him warm clothes and into the world."

"Yes ma'am" They said taking Ben out of the hospital floor.

"One last floor ma'am." Roberts spoke up.

"Really?" Katniss questioned

"The psychiatric floor." Owens swallowed hard.

"let's hurry then." Katniss sighed. It was quick and they left empty-handed. I won't tell you the horrors they saw there, reader because if I did you would cry as I did writing it out. I left it out because even simply reading such horrors can make one extremely upset.

So they finished their job, hastily. None of those children wanted to be saved. They were just too far gone in their illness.

Sadness loomed over her regiment as the exited Insanity. Innocent children brainwashed and tested until their brains were shreds of what they once were.

How many of them were left-handed? How many of them simply had dyslexia? How many of them were not ill at all? How many of them were driven to insanity when in reality they were healthy?

They would never know, none of us would ever know. Because orders are orders no matter what, they must be followed.

"Is everyone here?" Katniss asked when she reached the rest of their group outside the hospital.

"Angel, Ariel, and Ben are all here." Ryans spoke up.

"Sergeant Gibson?"

"Present Ma'am"

"Officer Roberts?"

"Present"

"Major Ryans?"

"Present"

"Major Evans?"

"Present"

"Privet Harris?"

"Present"

"Major Bennet?"

"Present"

"Privet Johnson?"

"Present"

"Privet Kevin?"

"Present"

"Corporal Owens?"

"Present"

"Good we're all accounted for." Katniss sighed.

"Why did you do that?" Angel asked genuinely.

"Because, no matter what no man ever gets left behind. Remember that, both of you." Ben and Angel nodded even though their snow clothes hindered their movements.

"Get a head start." Katniss ordered.

"May I have the honor of carrying you Miss. Angel?" Johnson asked. She giggled.

"What about Ariel?" She looked at the baby in her arms.

"I think Kevin can handle her." He said. She passed her sleeping sister to Kevin and let Johnson take her in his arms.

"Well Mr. Ben would you allow me to carry you?" Evens asked.

"It would be my honor sir" He smiled at the man who lifted him.

"Hurry, you know where to go"

"Ma'am yes ma'am" Gibson saluted and Ben imitated him.

When their footsteps faded and she knew they were far enough away. She closed her eyes setting off the bombs placed every where inside Insanity.

Katniss took off running not because she was in any danger from the explosion but because of the place.

It was named Insanity for gods sake and it fully lived up to that name. I don't care who you are you would run just as fast. If you knew the horrors of such a place like we do, if you knew reader then you would have followed your orders too. Not because they were orders but because no one deserves to live like that. You would be happy no one would ever beforeced into that place ever again.

She chased after her comrades until finally the sound died away and she caught up to them.

"Mission accomplished boys." She said solemnly. "Mission accomplished." She looked at Angel who was sobbing now, Johnson attempted to calm her but it was no use.

"Come here Angel." Katniss said lifting her out of his arms. "It's over now. You won't ever have to deal with prejudice like that ever again. You're going to come with us and you'll live a very happy life with your sister."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes baby, I'm positive." The girl wiped her eyes and Katniss set her down. "Lets set up camp." She told her boys who followed her orders. Ben ran over and clung to her neck.

"God bless you ma'am, you're a saint." He whispered before pulling away.

Angel brought Ariel over to Katniss, "Ariel, Ben says god sent this nice lady to save us. You wanna thank her?" She may have been small but she held the child expertly.

Ariel let her smallest hand grasp Katniss's hair and she giggled which must have been a first for a while.

That night Katniss put the three children to sleep in her sleeping bag. She sat around the fire with her men once the children fell asleep.

"We're lucky we have you here, you have a way with kids" Bennet smiled.

"Well that's what happens when you're a mother."

"You're a mother?" Harris asked.

"How did we not know?" Owens laughed.

"You never asked." She smiled, "I have a five-year old little girl and a two-year old son."

"Well I'll be damned." Harris laughed.

"Better wash out that mouth of yours we won't be soiling these kids clean ears." Owens teased.

"I was made to make babies not raise 'em!" Harris said making everyone laugh.

"Welcome to parenthood 101 boys god only knows what these kids have seen... or how long until we reach port."

"Port?"

"Why my Australian friends, we're taking you home. I was given orders for you all to have your leave after this mission." Owens, Harris, and Gibson could not smile more at this news. Katniss smiled. "Bennet, Johnson, Kevin, Evens, and Ryans. Would you be incredibly disappointed to spend a week in Australia?"

"There's nowhere else I'd rather go" Evens laughed.

"Same" Ryans smiled.

"It'd be a pleasure" Kevin nodded.

"I hear the weather's amazing" Johnson affirmed.

"I would love to spend a week with my second family, without fear of attack" Bennet confirmed. They all smiled at one another now excited to get going.

They didn't know this but in the tent the three children laid side by side still awake.

"Angel?"

"Yes Ben?"

"What religion are you?"

"I'm Anglican why?"

"I'm Catholic" He sounded scared.

"So?"

"You mean you don't hate me?"

"No silly, I think you're great. You kept your religion even though they hated us for it. For that I like you. And you are a kind person. Why would that make me hate you?"

"They told us in school your people hated us."

"Mama always told me, 'if you believe in something god will love you.' She told me, 'God loves everyone and so should you.' So I could never hate you."

"I like you Angel you're a bunch nicer than those teachers said."

"I like you too Ben,"

"I'm glad Katniss saved us"

"Me too."

"Angel do you think she's kind of like god?"

"I think she's like Jesus, saving us and bringing us to the land of salvation. She's like Mary because she treated everyone equally and tried to save them from themselves. But most of all I think she's like god, because she loves everyone here."

"And also" Ben added in, "Because no one gets left behind." the two children fell asleep facing one another.

* * *

_Any ships with these two because I think I accidentally ship them right now XD. My sister ships them too so go figure. I clearly don't own that song at the beginning but the name Caissons song is a real thing it was the unofficial anthem of the US army for a long while look it up it's a great song actually. Anyway next chapter I shall see you my darlings stay lovely! _


	12. Chapter 12

_Guys holy everything 30 follows holy... Oh my god thank you so much! I can't believe that that just blows my mind thank you so much! I just love all of you for telling me that I can actually do something well. See you at the end with a twist!_

* * *

The next few days were well spent with travel. It was harder now with children. Surprisingly however it wasn't that bad. Ariel slept most of the time they walked and the moment she opened her eyes they fed her a mashed up bit of food.

Ben tried to walk along side Gibson the whole time but every now and then grew too tired and allowed Gibson to carry him.

Angel did the same with everyone of the men excluding Gibson who Ben had quote on quote claimed.

Surely weeks had passed since their endeavor with Insanity and yet they felt no closer to their destination. The children did not complain and neither did the men but everyone was on edge. The nights got longer and colder. It must have been winter but they couldn't be sure.

The worst nights were when the wind whipped their camp a fire couldn't be held. It would have been better even if it had been snow. But the children were truly frightened by the winds. Katniss would have to hold them and tell them everything was okay or that in time it would be.

This place seemed never ending. It seemed that everyday they ended up in the same place even though they were heading straight. A valley of never ending night and un-melting snow was the only thing as far as the eye could see. At first sight a winter wonderland, but to them Hell had just frozen over.

One bitter night when the children had awoken for the night-day journey and the camp had been packed, a sudden light appeared in the distance.

Katniss toke it upon herself to journey closer, then in a sudden whirl wind she knew exactly what those lights were.

"Take the kids and run." Katniss ran back to her boys, "I don't care who goes just do it, we've got company."

The three majors picked up the children become human shields for them and took off running.

"I hope you're not rusty with your gun work." She said the boys nodded slightly, fear and realization hitting them finally.

They waited until the army neared them.

"Oh fuck" Owens said, Owens never cursed. In front of them lay and army of ten thousand men. Katniss's regiment including herself was a measly seven.

They shot off a few rounds and the white velvety snow became rough and hostile. Zigzagging into a whirlwind of flurries.

The darkness of the morning had never been so daunting. Never had any of them seen action quite like this. Fear that they did not have enough ammunition, the apparent cockiness of their actions, for gods sake they were taking on an army with only seven people.

Katniss noticed that these people kept moving forward while they were stationary.

"Fall back!" She shouted. "Good god fall back!" They not only fell back they hauled ass out of there. They ran for their lives.

Then they heard a shriek from behind, only Katniss turned around to see Harris on the ground making the snow pink and then crimson.

"Harris" Katniss called back running to him, the army nearing them at an alarming rate.

"Lieutenant go I'm fine I can walk."

"Shut up" She said simple helping him to his fett and running with him until he tripped again.

"Just go"

"Hey, no man gets left behind, no matter how much of an ass you can be Harris" She said this with a venom in her voice, but she did so only because of the damned situation. She cradled her friend in her arms and though he was heavy nothing was too heavy a load to carry at this moment.

She knew why of course, to carry him now and have him live would be worth sore arms, but if she left a man to die or worse even be captured the weight on her shoulders would never go away.

The army soon began to miss their targets completely hitting trees instead of them causing fear and alarm to be raised inside her stomach.

She heard a distinct wiz run right by her ear and she knew they had grazed her. She felt blood slip out of her head but she would not stop running.

She followed to tracks her men had made for her and she felt blood seep onto her hands from Harris's wound.

He was unconscious but she didn't care, her mission was to get everyone home safely. She had to he was her friend, the cockiest bastard she had ever met. She loved the guy like an older brother she never got to have. It was simply not an option to let him die.

The firing had ceased, the Kingdoms had won their battle. What a big deal an army of a thousand men against seven is hardly worth celebrating.

Adrenalin still pumped Katniss forward the weight of Harris's unconscious body meant nothing to her arms. This was the time to panic but she didn't.

She broke through the trees to find her men and the children safe and sound. "Move" She called laying Harris's unmoving body in the snow.

"Okay, anyone here have any experience with healing at all?"

"You?" Ryans shrugged, "You kept Peeta alive in the games" True she had done this, but that was different she had a lifeline, Haymitch and then the medicine.

Who cared about that now? This wasn't the games, this was war and they were stranded without help.

"Fine," She sighed, examining his wound she felt faint but she wasn't allowed that, she was their leader she had to keep him alive.

"Warm up some water now!" She ordered she remembered when her mother had treated Gale after his whipping. "Clean it- I've got to clean it" She whispered frantically. She grabbed some untouched snow and placed it on his shoulder, Harris woke up instantly.

"God damn" He panted.

"You're not allowed to give up, that's an order damn it."

She attempted to clean his skin of excess blood with melted snow but there was no way unless she took off his shirt and here that could prove fatal.

The water boiled and so she turned to him, "Harris I don't care if it burns like hell its going to help you." Harris was half asleep now and only nodded.

She began to clean the wound further and his screams made snow fall out of trees. The children screamed in fear.

"Get them out of here!" Katniss yelled Owens and Bennet picked up the girls while Gibson ran with Ben. Katniss could see right where the bullet lay in Harris's shoulder, "Take his hand!" She shouted and Roberts slipped by his side.

"Harris look at me!" She ordered and his weary hazel eyes found hers, "This will be a bitch but you have to know this will be the worst it gets." His whole body shook in fear and at the newly falling snow.

The wound was just large enough she could get her thumb and pinky in it. This would have to be the one time she needed courage.

He didn't scream he didn't have the energy but he did cry. His hazel eyes that were whimsical and full of laughter were blood shot and tear filled now. She pinched the bullet and slowly removed it.

She put it in the snow close by her before putting snow back on the wound. Harris seemed to sigh in relief. "It's over." She said "You don't have to worry any more."

He gave a look of relief before closing his eyes.

Katniss bit down as she put him in his sleeping bag. "go ahead and get Gibson, Bennet, and Owens. Tell them it's safe." She sighed washing her hands of his blood, her head throbbed from the graze made on her left side.

She washed it but it stung more when the cold air kissed her wet exposed skin. She didn't care though. "What's taking them?" She asked completely on edge.

"I don't know" Johnson sighed "they should be back by now."

"God damn." Katniss sighed pressing her eyes to keep back her tears.

"Should we go after them?" Kevin asked.

"I-... I-..." Katniss couldn't speak, she was afraid for everyone's lives and sanities.

"Lieutenant!" Bennet burst through the snow covered trees, "We made it! We made it to port."

Katniss didn't smile she felt numb. "Alright." She sighed standing up. "Roberts, Evens, Johnson, carry Harris." She stood up and felt her legs loosen she was afraid to fall over or worse yet faint.

She stumbled a bit. "Lets go" She said following directly behind Harris. Sure enough there was a well protected ship waiting for them. They all climbed aboard Katniss last on the ship.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" The men saluted her and her men as they took Harris below deck. "The Captain would like to meet with you." One of the men said leading her to the command room.

"Sir" She saluted him when she reached the Captain.

"At ease." He smiled quickly at her. "You have become quite famous Lieutenant Colonel"

"Only doing my duty sir"

"Every mission you've ever been on has been a suicide, you've gone above and beyond the call of duty ma'am. It's an honor to have you aboard."

"I couldn't do it without my men sir."

"We couldn't do anything without them couldn't we?"

"No sir." She sighed, "If you would be so kind as to tell me, what day is it?"

"Why it's December twentieth."

"I've been gone for five months?!" She gasped in a way that sounded like laughter.

"Yes, But you completed your mission three months ago." She looked down now saddened more than anything, "Are you alright Lieutenant?"

"Yeah... I just, seem to have missed my sons second birthday." She said now closer to tears than before. They seemed to leave port because with even the slightest jolt Katniss's face greeted the floor with a loud smack.

"Lieutenant?!"

"I'm fine!" She said getting on her hands and knees, "I just don't do well with boats"

"Nonsense" He laughed helping her to her feet "You'll get sea legs in no time."

Her legs still not comfortable with actually being used shook violently. "No I really don't like boats." She said this with a quiver in her throat.

"Well that's how it always is with you army guys. Fearless until it comes to the seas. Well us marines will have you know this is one place you won't have to worry."

"I'd beg to differ."

"You can fight with children to the death but you can't ride a boat."

"You try seeing the things I've seen and have sturdy legs right now," She huffed under her breath. He was silent now, "Captain?"

"You best get yourself below deck Lieutenant. It seems a bit of battle is in order."

"Yes sir" She said walking steadily out onto the deck and staring directly at a ship of the kingdoms.

"Lieutenant?"

"Coming" She said to the man leading her below deck. They reached a small but privet room that she was assigned. "Thank you" she told the boy, he saluted her and then left.

She allowed herself to collapse in her bed. She cried soft quite tears, wishing Peeta would wipe them away and hold her.

She imagined he was holding her in his arms and that their children were safe and sound in their beds fast asleep dreaming of the things Santa would bring them.

But that was not where she was, she was in a solitary place that did not feel like a privet room but was more like a prison cell.

She dried her eyes finally and she felt a rumble of the ship. More fighting that she didn't want involvement in.

She instead wandered around the lower deck and soon found her men crowded around Harris in the infirmary.

They cheered for her, they smiled and laughed with Angel, Ariel, and Ben. They did not care about the rumbling above them, they only cared about one another. They were a dysfunctional crazy family and Katniss couldn't ask for anything else at this moment.

"Katniss?" Angel tugged on her pants. "Can Ariel and I sleep with you tonight?"

"I think we can arrange that." She smiled as the little girls cheeks filled with color.

The night rolled around and Katniss held onto and Ariel and Angel in their sleep. The two white blonde girls looked like real angels.

The slept silently and wishfully, they have gotten all they wanted this Christmas. Katniss smiled fondly at them before allowing herself rest.

They reached the main land before Christmas.

It was a nice change for Katniss watching her second family reunited with their real one.

Katniss met Owens and Gibson's wives who were very nice and very pretty.

Their wives looked strangly similar, both with brown doe like eyes, both tall and well proportioned, both blonde. They seemed to even have the same white smile.

Owens had a fifteen year old daughter named Cammy, who looked very close to her father in both actions and in looks.

Gibson had a six year old boy named Fred, and two daughters. The older being four years old named Annalisa and the younger who was three named Hannah.

Katniss had the pleasure of meeting Harris's mother. Turns out he's a sucker for one women that being his mother. She was very old but very kind and spunky.

Katniss had made it her goal to be like her when she was older.

Everyone else had spoken to their families while aboard the boat excluding a very busy Katniss. She had the pleasure of meeting all of the families, she got to see everyone's mothers and fathers. Those who had children and spouses fondly spoke with them after meeting the troop..

Katniss regretfully spent the whole time working on her Christmas present to her boys. She was getting them home after Christmas for a whole month. Harris's mother was the first one to know.

"Mrs. Harris-"

"Emma" She scolded.

"Emma, how would you feel if I were to tell you Harris will be staying with you for a month?"

"Good, I can finally get him hitched and maybe get a grandchild out of it." Katniss laughed at this, "You single?"

"No" Katniss shook her head.

"Why?"

"My husband, the general. And I would be incomplete without one another."

"Damn" She said playfully.

Christmas day was the most eventful of days. They all spent it together and breakfast that morning was full of surprises. It was at Gibson's large family home. It wasn't very grand but it felt like a home. It was warm and quite cozy for the family of five.

"Angel" Owens smiled at the sapphire eyed girl at dinner that night, "I would like to ask you a very important question." She nodded and giggled. "Would you allow my wife and I to adopt you and Ariel?"

"Adopt?"

"Like bring you into our family." Cammy put her arm around the small girl.

"I'll be your big sister" She tempted.

"I already am your family. But I'd like to live here!" Everyone applauded at her answer, "But all of you are my daddys and Katniss is my mommy"

Gibson spoke up next, "Benjamin would you like to live with me?"

"More than anything!" He smiled.

"Such a brave little soldier." Gibson's wife said kissing the little boy's head. She seemed to have tears in her eyes. Gibson must have told her how they came upon him.

"I have announcement to make too." Katniss said, "It took a lot of work but I want everyone to have something from me to you. Men we have orders for a months leave of absence." Everyone cheered excitedly, a chance for everyone to go home and see their families was more than a gift. It was everything.

"You couldn't get us something with out us doing something" Harris spoke up, "Our brave leader has met all of our families but we have yet to meet hers."

She looked skeptically at Harris when a familiar ringing went off from the computer room.

They all stood up and walked into the room. Harris answered the call. "Hello General. Merry Christmas" He sat up and motioned for her to look at the screen.

"Peeta?" She asked skeptically.

"Merry Christmas my love" He said and now she could see his face. His beautiful perfect face.

"Mommy!" Peony squealed.

"Hi princess" She said not letting her tears stop her voice. "Merry Christmas."

"Look Mommy, Leif and I got you a present!" She jumped off her fathers lap and Peeta moved the camera. Leif stood on his own two feet and he began to take tender steps toward the camera.

"Mama!" He giggled, "I wofe you"

"I love you too sweetie. Mommy is so proud of you."

"Katniss! Katniss! Whose that?" Angel asked crawling on her lap.

"Angel, that's my daughter Peony, she's five years old. And that's my son Leif."

"Hi Peony, Hi Leif!" She waved.

"Yeah!" Ben climbed up into view, "Your mom is amazing!" Ben waved to the children.

"And this is Ariel!" Angel said showing them the baby.

"Mommy I miss you!"

"I miss you too princess."

"Mama! Home?"

"Yes Leif I'm coming home" Katniss smiled.

"What?" Peeta asked getting in the frame, "You're what?"

"I'm coming home tomorrow" She said "I'll be home."

"Mommies coming home Leif!" The toddler smiled at his sister when she spoke.

"Okay you two bed time" Prim said entering the image.

"Five more minutes Auntie Prim?"

"No sweetie Santa won't come if you don't go to sleep."

"Okay." She sighed and followed Prim out of the room.

"Lieutenant are those tears?" Harris joked.

"Shut your mouth." She swat back at him.

"Wow tries to save me for one minute and then tries to kill me the next." They all exited to give Katniss time to speak with her husband.

"Merry Christmas Peeta" She said.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled at her.

"I'm sorry I can't be there... And that I missed Leif's first birthday."

"Katniss you saved three very beautiful children for Christmas. I'd be selfish if I said that was wrong." She laughed, "But maybe my Christmas present could be another baby?"

"No" She laughed.

"Aw why?" He teased.

"Really sweetie I love you but war is not the time for baby making. And I told you last time no more."

"Darn," He laughed, "What's more romantic than explosions?"

"Let me think... A stick" She couldn't tell if he was serious or not. She was, about not wanting another baby. Why would he even ask her?

"Kitty Kat?"

"Jo's with you?"

"Honey they're all here." He said.

Annie and Finnick came into view, "Do you remember ever so rudely dropping our call five months ago?"

"Yup!"

"Gave us a heart attack!"

"Just think that means you care about me!"

"Course we do Catnip." Gale stepped in with Hunter. "Hunter asked where is Auntie was eight times."

"I'm sorry I won't be there for Christmas guys. Seems like everyone's there but me."

"Not everyone." Peeta said.

"Your mom is still stationed, so is Mark."

"So how've you been?" Jo asked cheerily which was very out of character.

"... In hell?"

"Aw Kitty Kat not like the cold?" Then Katniss saw the memories of Insanity. Screaming children dedicating their lives to the Kingdoms. She saw pain and suffering just everywhere.

"Katniss, you okay?" Annie asked.

"Yeah... I'm just..." Katniss blinked the images away, "Nothing." She brushed her hair back revealing the scar on the side of her head.

"What's that?" Peeta asked.

"A long story." She laughed. "And it's not pretty. But let's not worry about that. It's Christmas."

"Where did you go Kitty Kat?" Jo asked with a smile.

"Well I was in the Kingdoms which is not recommended and now I'm in Australia."

"Wait a minute" Finnick said. "Katniss what's your regiment number?"

"236 why?"

"We sent YOU!" He said with large eyes.

"Well in my defense my team is the go to for suicide missions."

"Oh god! Does that mean, you completed the mission?"

"Yes sir." She said solemnly. "Did you happen to see Angel, Ariel, and Ben earlier?"

"Yes..."

"They were the only ones who..." She swallowed heavily, "Sorry."

"No I know... I know..."

"I'm going to go because I have some last minute things to pack." She said awkwardly. "Goodnight guys. I'll see you soon."

She reached Twelve on December twenty-sixth early in the morning.

"Mommy!" The little girl ran to her mother.

"Hiya princess." She lifted the small girl over her head planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Mama!" Leif waved his arms around.

"How's my big boy?" She asked taking him in her arms after placing Peony on her feet.

He didn't say anything her just clung to his mother. "I missed you too sweetie" she kissed her little boy on the head and took Peeta's warm hands.

Katniss played with her children and caught up with her old friends before they went to bed. She was left alone with Peeta.

She was wide awake because of her body clock being on Australian time. She turned to her husband. "Peeta?" She looked at how drowsy he looked she wasn't sure why she even asked him.

"Hmm?" He looked up at her with a smile.

"Would you like to escort me to our bedroom?" She smiled slyly at him.

"Why go to the bedroom when we have a shower?" He retaliated.

"Anxious?" She asked walking over to him.

"I haven't seen my perfect beautiful wife in a year, I'm just dying to feel her." He replied. She turned on the shower and winked at him. When the water was warm she stripped off her army attire and slid into the shower.

She had actually wanted to shower so she washed her hair but after she was ready to be done she felt the warmth of skin against her.

He kissed her jawbone tenderly before she turned to meet his eyes that danced all along her body.

"I guess there is more then one hunger game." She smiled at him before turning off the water.

"You're such a tease" He laughed. His hands still held her close to him however. She let her lips glide over his. She wasn't expecting him to literally sweep her off her feet.

He placed her on the bed before he let go of her.

"Now who's the tease?" She asked.

He closed the door, "Jo and Gale hear me talk in my sleep I don't want them to hear this." She laughed a little bit before they continued.

The next morning Jo and Gale were sure to keep all of the children far away from the master bedroom.

* * *

_Yes I know Christmas was two weeks ago what is your point? Alright everyone bad newsie times I have to go back to school on Monday fucking hell... I will shoot for new chapters every Wednesday but I have all pre AP courses so if I miss a date it will be the Saturday of that same week! Stay lovely my angels._


	13. Chapter 13

Leaving once was hard but leaving again almost broke Katniss's heart. She knew she'd be back with luck but still**. **It didn't seem fitting to leave like this, but what choice did she or anyone have?

So for the next months Katniss's regiment spent their time chasing the most dangerous of missions as usual before finding themselves in head quarters, awaiting their next suicide.

Katniss was led to a planning room where she was planning to surprise Finnick, Peeta, and Jo all at once.

She wasn't at all expecting to walk in on a full on brawl between... Well quite literally everyone.

She opened the door and there was so much shouting she cowered back.

"Lieutenant General! Sir!" The man who had led her to the room of all hell yelled over everyone else.

"Colonel Forester what is it?" Finnick rolled his eyes.

The man stepped aside. "I can't be gone for five minutes can I?" She stepped in the room greeting her friends.

"Kitty Kat!" Jo smiled. Katniss saluted her friends being that they were of higher ranks before the man who had led her in left.

"So, what have I missed?"

"In two months?" Finnick scoffed.

"Very little" Jo rolled her eyes. "These imbeciles have no idea what they're doing."

"Hey!" Peeta warned.

"Oh, please" Jo glared.

"Should I just like leave?" Katniss asked. "Cause my boys and I just got back. We're not sure what to do or where to go..."

"Just stay where you are Kitty Kat, we'll get you when I've thoroughly kicked these twos butts."

"Who says you're winning?"

"Honey, Finnick, really?" Jo laughed, "I always win, how long have we been friends again? Oh that's right a long ass time, and how many arguments have we gotten in? A shit ton. How many of those have I won? A shit ton. How many have you won? Very few."

"I'll just-... I'll just leave" Katniss muttered under her breath heading out of the room and back to her boys bunk room.

There they laughed and joked light hearted with the thought of having absolutely nothing to do.

There was a knock on the door to which they simply shouted a come on in.

"Kitty Kat!" Jo laughed pouncing Katniss to the ground.

"Brigadier General!" The boys stood to salute.

"They are ruining the moment Kitty Kat!" Jo laughed still laying on top of her friend.

"It's okay boys she's here for fun." Katniss gasped, "Get off!"

"Make me!" Jo dared to which Katniss gladly tossed her off.

"How's the ground?"

"Better then the beds they have us sleeping on!" She stood up and brushed off her pants. "Where are those idiots?" She asked looking back out the door.

"It's Finnick and Peeta... Planning our ultimate demise of course" Katniss sighed.

"Hell they couldn't plan their own morning routine let alone world domination." Jo sat up, "It took they three hours to actually listen to one another Kitty Kat." Jo complained throwing her head back, "Three hours of two grown men bickering like my husband and I when we argue. God damn it was hell."

"Sorry baby, I can't relate. Cause you know I've just been fighting a war with only nine other people."

"Ugh! I've been drowning in an endless sea of testosterone! Kitty Kat it was hell. When you were still off in Siberia or what ever Peeta and Finnick couldn't shut the hell up about you being his baby daddy"

"I am his baby daddy Jo" Katniss rolled her eyes as Johnson closed the door.

"Yeah well he wants to take over your womb again with his kid."

"Why? I don't want any more kids!"

"I know he's treating your vagina like it's his property."

"I don't get him." Katniss sighed.

"I think he's over it now, but he was talking non-stop about putting a baby in there."

"I told him no more"

"Hey don't worry Gale tried to fuck me into every corner of our house when I got back. He told me right before I left he wanted a girl."

"What did you do?"

"Laughed and told him that wouldn't happen. Then he got mad and then he asked me if I was happy with Hunter and blah blah blah."

"Ah Jo he's lonely you left him in two all by himself with a baby of course he wants another one."

"It also might be because of Rory."

"Yeah I'll admit that was sad, Prim was devastated but seriously. He probably just wants a woman in the house."

"So what does Peeta want?"

"To give me hell. If he wants it so bad he can have it!"

"Katniss that's not how it works"

"Well that's how it should work."

"I think he just is tired of you, like saving people and almost dying all the time. That or our man are really horny."

"God damn."

"There is just something about war that turns every man on" Gibson chuckled.

"Please enlighten me" Katniss scoffed.

"Well" Gibson chuckled, "I tried that with my wife so she wouldn't sign up as a nurse."

"But that's stupid, and not to mention childish."

He shrugged "I did it because I love her."

"So?"

"Katniss men are assholes you've been married to one for five years what do you not understand about that?" Owens laughed.

"I'm with them I've spent years getting my swimmers to swim around it." Harris spoke up and everyone burst out laughing.

"Kitty Kat I want to join your regiment you all know how to have fun."

"Does war actually make men want babies?"

"Sort of actually" Evens said suddenly realizing it.

"That's my baby sister your talking about making babies with you realize that right?" Ryans lifted an eyebrow.

"Yes" Evens taunted.

"I would hate being pregnant right now" Katniss sighed continuing her conversation with Jo.

"Why?"

"Because I've had a baby during war before. It ain't fun, like zero on the fun meter. Plus I still have to fight."

"You'd still fight if you were pregnant?" Jo asked.

"I'd sure as hell try."

Owens turned to them and began to laugh, "I'd kill my wife if she even thought about trying that."

"Gale would eat me if I said that."

"Which is why I did not say that in front of my husband." Katniss sighed rolling her eyes.

They changed the subject around for the rest of the time Jo was in their room. She enjoyed it, they all did.

There is something about finding comfort with others that cannot be matched by any other thing. Finding friends through others and bringing back friendships that remind us of ourselves.

* * *

_Hello my darlings this one is super duper short because I was doing science fair and I had written this a while back so I just tacked on an ending forgive me the next one will be better I swear. Stay lovely._


	14. Chapter 14

Katniss never thought that there would be such a strange year in store for her when she was in head quarters. She had to remain there for two months without orders and in that time... Jo's words became all too real.

"Jo," Katniss sighed entering her friends bed room the day she had finally gotten orders. "I'm dying."

"What's up Kitty Kat?" Jo sat up from laying on her back.

"Peeta keeps trying to sleep with me." She didn't like complaining but now she was rather upset.

"I told you. There's something about war that turns guys on and makes them want everyone knocked up."

"I kid you not for the past two months he's followed me to my room insisting we sleep together. I've started just avoiding him all together." She leaned on Jo's bed post.

"Well, I called my lovely husband the other day and he's still pissed I don't want another baby."

"Did you flip him off?"

"Yes... But then Hunter tumbled over himself to get to the computer screen."

"I wouldn't mind another baby but he'd have to have it."

"I get you." Jo sighed.

"I'm leaving tonight." Katniss said suddenly getting to the point of her visit.

"Where're you going?"

"With luck? To deliver a fatal blow to the commander of the Republic's army."

"You can't be serious. They'll kill you." Jo squinted her eyes at her friend who shook her head simply. "That's crazy, I know you've done some crazy ass shit but that is literally beggin for it."

"That's what all my missions have been haven't they? I'm not scared to die Jo. I know I may." Katniss let out a shaking breath, "This time I'm afraid I actually be done for."

"Does Peeta know?"

"He doesn't know it's my team going. But he knows about the mission. I don't want him to know he'd try and stop me... Or he'd just cry. I wouldn't be able to handle that." She shook her head as if to ward off images of these happenings, "I've had this sinking feeling lately that I was simply born to die, or to just be shot at all my life."

"Kitty Kat you know that's not true."

"I feel like it is. I've never been scared to do something in this war. Now I am and I just... I don't know if coming back is something to look forward to."

"Kitty Kat-"

"What?"

"You have to tell him"

"He'll find out eventually." Katniss protested lightly.

"Kitty Kat, no matter how persistent he is with the whole baby thing you can't just leave with out him knowing."

"Jo, I'm leaving in an hour, I packed and now I'm here. To say goodbye to my best friend." Jo stood up.

"Aw Kitty Kat, I'm your best friend?"

"We make a great team." Katniss said.

"Team estrogen?"

"Or team vagina which ever." Katniss laughed. She hugged her friend, "If I do die never give up. Don't let me down, just keep going.

"Peeta will have the hardest time getting over it but Finnick will help him so will the kids. Don't let my kids forget me Jo. Good god don't let them forget me.

"Help Gale through this too. He'd be devastated because we went through hell together but you can help him more than anyone.

"Help Annie become a woman Jo. Make sure you win this god damned war for me."

"Don't sound so dead already."

"If any of you give up on anything after I'm gone... I swear to god, I'll come back from the dead and kick everyone of your asses."

"I believe it," Jo laughed pulling away she looked into her friends eyes, she didn't look defeated like she sounded. Katniss's eyes gave of a sense of relief and even hope. "Be smart, don't let your damned pride get in the way."

"I'll try." Katniss said checking her watch. "Sorry I'm leaving you with a bunch of horny men but I must run."

Jo chuckled, "Take care of yourself Kitty Kat"

"I will" Katniss said closing the door and walking away.

* * *

When the sound of feet walking away in heavy combat boots died away Jo walked to the empty calling facility and dialed Gale.

"Jo? can we make this quick I have work in an hour." He said taking a seat.

"I've never been so scared to lose someone Gale... Never." She let her voice quiver but did not allow tears to fall. She instead hid her face in her hands, "Kitty Kat, has just left on the most dangerous mission. This time even she's convinced she may not come back alive. She gave me instructions if she dies Gale."

"Jo it's okay, you know she can handle herself. She's done it before,"

"Gale you don't understand they've sent her and her team as a group of assassins to kill one of the most dangerous men in the world. She told me not give up if she dies, Gale, I'm afraid. What if she doesn't come back herself like at Christmas, when she told us about Insanity?"

"..." He sighed and looked sadly into the camera, "I wish I were with you Jo. I wish I could tell you she'll be alright. Even knowing her like I do I'm not sure."

"Da, whacha you doin?"

"I'm talking to Mama buddy."

"Mama?" He asked crawling on to Gales lap. "Mama!" He smiled so she did as well.

"Hi bud." She put her fingers to the computer.

"I miss you Mama"

"I miss you too sweetie."

"I love you" He said kissing the palm of his hand and throwing it to her.

"I love you too bud. Hunter, sweetie, mommy has to go now alright."

"Okay Mama bye" He waved and she hung up.

"Jo?" She turned to see Finnick and Peeta standing at the door.

"Where's Katniss?" Peeta stepped forward.

"On a hovercraft."

"To where? Finnick? Where's my wife going?" Peeta seemed near tears.

"She's going to her next mission near Baghdad." Finnick sighed.

"Why is she going so close to a major super power of the Republic? Hell why is she going to the deadliest place on earth?"

"Because, she's the only one who can get the job done... And have a chance of getting out alive."

"You send her to die?" Finnick began to protest, "You sent my wife to die?"

"No, I've sent her on missions like these before. She's the only one with enough experience to get the job done."

"Leaving her scarred for life." Peeta retorted hotly.

"I know." Finnick finally said ashamed. "But this is war Peeta."

"What if it were Annie, Finnick?" Finnick now looked like he wanted to cry.

"She's my wife why didn't I know about this?"

"She got her orders today Peeta, no one's to blame."

"I-I-..." He didn't say a thing as he left the room.

* * *

Katniss and her regiment were long gone by this point. She hadn't told her team the chance of them coming back were slim to none.

Why would she, after all they'd just take it as a challenge. The leader of the Republic army was by god the most brutally murderous man in this war.

He had battles end because there was no one left to fight them believing firmly in a man who lived long ago. This man who lived long ago once said, "Death solves all problems; No man, no problem." (_If you know who said that I'll love you forever. If you don't I'll be enraged... Continue_)

She listened to her men laughing talking about their families and the war. They made it seem like nothing was happening at all, though everything mattered now.

If they succeeded the war would end in a shorter time frame. If they failed, lord only knows what would happen.

She was purely afraid, not for herself but for her men. What would happen if she couldn't bring them all home? What about the world if she failed? What would happen then?

She didn't want to find out nor did she have the time. They landed far quicker than she thought they would.

Stepping out of the hovercraft she walked onto the small base with her men for the night.

"We've been constantly under siege since September." The Colonel in charge of the fort told her. "When I heard your team was coming and why... Well I'll be honest I felt relief." The woman walked up to her. "I've seen more men die then I think I have ever met."

Katniss looked into this woman's tired eyes. "I haven't seen or heard of fighting this bad since the battle of Kemhal and there everyone got their asses kicked."

"Colonel Gregory I know what you mean." Katniss shuddered.

"Please you have to do everything you can... Or we'll lose. They keep giving me more troops and it's literally sending them to the slaughter house." She shook her head, "I need you now more than I have ever needed anyone."

"Ma'am yes ma'am."

"The call to arms is the toughest to answer. These people are the bravest I've ever known. Think of your fellow soldiers when you try, and you'll find you're not alone. You'll find that courage is something we are never in short supply of here in Baghdad."

"I believe it ma'am. We've had some of the best victories and worst downfalls here. But also we've had the most hero's." Katniss responded.

"Right... Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel... You leave when?"

"Bright and early in the morning ma'am." Katniss answered.

"Good, dismissed." She said returning to her planning. Katniss saw this woman's eyes pleading and her heart begged for a miracle. She walked into her boys bunk room where they were all in a circle holding hands.

"Lieutenant Colonel... Would you care to join us?" Owens asked. She smiled and nodded.

Bennet spoke up when she had joined them, "Though not all of us believe in a god we hope our prayers reach the ears of a higher being. Thank you for joining our lives together in this call to serve our countries and our families.

"Two years ago I did not know these wonderful people who would change my life in such a way. That I never thought I could have a perfect family until I met them.

"We find ourselves here in the city of Baghdad, the place renowned for its defeats with the most perfect family anyone could ask for.

"Friends who never let go of each other, we never give up on each other. I never thought I could share the love I have shared with total strangers.

"We have been through thick and thin, we have stared death in the face and cursed it. We are known for succeeding in suicides. For that we thank you.

"But now we call for help. Lord hear your children as we plea for your assistance. Give us your grace to forgive and send our guardian angels to watch over us in our darkest hours.

"We ask of you to lend us your strength if death should come and we beg for you to guide us home if need be. If we are meant to leave this world please help our loved ones recover and guide our friends gathered here today to your kingdom.

"We ask you to grant us courage to face our greatest fears. We ask for forgiveness for our sins. And I pray that each and everyone of these amazing people finds themselves restored in you. Amen."

Katniss had never been one for prayer but now she needed to believe it. "You won't need that prayer boys I'm gettin you home. You can count on that."

"Lieutenant, thank you... For everything." Owens sighed.

"Without you, we'd never have come this far" Roberts spoke up.

"I'd be dead." Harris chuckled.

"I wouldn't have an ambidextrous son" Gibson smiled.

"I wouldn't have two beautiful new daughters waiting for me." Owens sat on his cot.

"We wouldn't have been free without you, "Evens put his arms around Ryans and Johnson.

"I'd be a coward" Kevin laughed.

"I'd still be just an English teacher" Johnson shrugged.

"I wouldn't know what it means to care about a regiment like a family." Ryans said.

"I know in my heart without any of you I would not have faith like I do now." Bennet smiled.

"None of you will be saying your goodbyes. I will get you out of there."

"Ma'am yes ma'am" Gibson inhaled sharply.

"You all get some rest. I know I won't sleep a wink, but hell we've got to try." She said exiting the room. "I'll get you in the morning."

Katniss didn't take off her dog tags that night when she went to bed. Surprisingly she fell asleep immediately.

Morning came and she felt numb to the rest of the world. Almost as if she had just realized what today meant for her, and for the people she was here with.

Today was a do or die day. The one defining day her whole life had led up to. Today would be the day she prove her self worth.

She would hold onto this day with all she had. Seize the day had never meant anything to her, but today it did.

Today was certain of one thing, it would be the most tragic day in history and the most joyous day. Which side would celebrate and which would mourn was unknown.

Katniss rallied her men and they departed. It was fairly easy to navigate the city. For it was in all practicality in ruins.

Their head quarters could be spotted miles away. It wouldn't be easy but Katniss had been told where to go and at all costs she had to try.

They ended up running into little trouble to reach the head quarters. Getting inside was the tricky part. There were so many entrances Katniss had memorized that led to different places in the head quarters.

The General of the Republic had to be in the south part of the head quarters but which way was south here?

She ended up finding the correct entrance by what must have been noon. She was so scared she could hear her blood pumping all through out her body.

She recalled all of her fears, moved them to one part of her mind, and stopped think about it.

Fear was a luxury she could not afford. They slipped silently through underground metallic tunnels. Katniss remembered her training the map, everything she had done to prepare for this one moment.

The final door, the time was now, fear flamed up inside her but she kept it at bay.

She slid the doors open to find a whole meeting taking place. Gun fire became the only thing in hearing range.

It vibrated the tunnels for lord knows how long. The highly ranked military men of the Republic pulled out their own weapons and so began the smallest of battles.

Ten people against fifteen. Katniss didn't know who was down and who was not but her and her men hit the floor to better attack these men.

That was not the reason Katniss was on the ground, she'd been shot. Right where her ribcage opened she had felt blood seeping out of her.

There comes a time in everyone's life when they feel the worst pain they will ever know, and everything after that is smaller pain insignificant almost. Whether it is pain of heartbreak and loss, or physical pain we will all some day feel this.

Katniss now felt this pain, like someone had not only shot her, but they had shot her soul. This pain was worse than the heartbreak of taking her sisters place, which was at one time the worst day of her life. This was worse than having her children, this was worse than any other pain.

She did not gasp for breath and she was not crippled laying on the floor close to death. One hand covering her wound and another on her gun she still fired. She wanted to cry or curl up into a ball and bleed to death.

But she made a promise to her men even if that meant she would get home in a coffin.

She stopped shooting and looked at their remaining opponents, only three and one of whom was their target.

Katniss didn't aim for him because her eyes began to blur everything together. She heard shouting, Kevin had been hit and Johnson helped his fallen friend. Then suddenly Owens was at the head of the table, "Son of a bitch" He said shooting their target. The fighting was over.

Katniss felt her hand let go of her gun, now she could feel all of her broken nerves burn at the air. She heard tears and we did it from her boys. "Get ahead start Johnson." Harris nodded as him and Kevin left the room.

"Lieutenant you were right, we did it." Bennet said crying from the sounds of it he was standing.

"I'm proud boys" She said in a constrained tone. Roberts walked over to her.

"Lets go home Lieutenant." He said trying to help her up. He only managed to flip her over. She could suddenly feel sharp stinging pain and odd warmth fill her wound.

"Lieutenant!" Ryans almost scream.

"It was a damn pleasure to serve with you" She managed to spit out before she couldn't see anymore literally blinded by pain.

She heard them moving and shouting at her to hold on but she wasn't sure she could. She felt someone lift her off the ground but the burning in her chest raged out of control. She screamed louder than she had ever thought possible.

She felt the jolt of running and then cold dark soothing air.

She felt them run a ways before placing her gingerly on the ground. She whimpered slightly upon touching the ground.

She could now see with splotchy vision. These men she had trusted with her life and them the same. Now looking at their frightened faces with remorse and worry written on them, she wanted to laugh.

They looked ridiculous worrying like this. She smiled slightly, letting them know it would be perfectly alright to let her go.

As if they could read what she meant Harris spoke up, "You never gave up on any of us even when it looked bleak. We're not giving up on you."

"Pity, I was told I'd make a lovely corpse." Katniss choked out finding the taste of blood rising to her tongue.

Then in a sudden whirl wind of self doubt Katniss began to notice she wasn't in any pain. That was never good, just then the earth shook under the might of falling bombs.

Katniss's intestines must have shifted because the pain returned like it hadn't before. She screamed though she didn't mean to.

She felt arms lift her up but she again couldn't see as she slipped into darkness.

* * *

_Here you are my darlings, I made this with all my love and adoration. Stay lovely._


	15. Chapter 15

_Oh god guys, 40 reviews... Excuse me whilst my brain implodes from the joy. Thank you so much guys holy mother of god thank you._

* * *

Peeta sat with Finnick and Jo in the meeting room having just finished a new strategy, when the television clicked on.

"It seems in the latest news that the Commander of the Republic army was found dead in the underground tunnels of the head quarters." The messenger of the armed forces said clearly sending out the message to all of the leaders. "Though after the bodies of the Commander and his first rank officers were found the entire city of Baghdad was decimated by the Kingdoms bombs. The General will send out new orders once the dust has settled in the city." Then it snapped off.

"They did it." Finnick whispered.

"And it killed her." Peeta snarled, "You son of a bitch you killed my wife."

"Peeta we don't know that." Jo stood up and put her hands on his shoulders.

"You son of a bitch!" Peeta said standing up and punching Finnick as hard as he could.

"Peeta calm down" Jo shouted at him holding his shoulders from doing anything else.

"They killed her! He killed her!" He turned around and clutched Jo's head. She bit down and slapped him so he was on the ground.

"Shut up!" She shouted, "You aren't helping."

* * *

It was months before we pick up again. Months of waiting in solitude of darkness, months of nothingness for our star crossed lovers. The bleak nothingness consuming Katniss as she waits on the brink of death, and the nothingness of Peeta's broken life and heart now that he faced the very real possiblity of being a single father.

Right around November is where we start.

Katniss let her tired eyes flutter open. The moment she did she knew she wasn't somewhere familiar.

This place was lit solely by artificial light, yellow white from wear but it seemed hauntingly unused.

"Lieutenant!" She heard from the door way. There standing healthy and tall was everyone in her entire regiment.

"Morning boys" She smiled and they all swiftly walked to her bed.

"Good to see you." Bennet smiled.

"So boys who wants to tell me what I missed."

"Oh darling why you missed it the fucking world ended without you in it!" Roberts laughed after a dramatic performance.

"How many months was I gone?"

"eighty-five" Harris said.

"Cool," Katniss scoffed.

"In all seriousness, ten months" Owens answered.

"Boys let this be a lesson to you. You want time to pass quickly go into a coma."

They laughed at this and then proceeded to tell her of their travels, "Right after we escaped Baghdad we ran for a good long while stopping every now and then to try and stop your bleeding and Kevins too." Gibson stated.

"We were so tired we had to rest and when we did all of these women tried to attack us thinking we were in the Republic Army." Johnson elaborated.

"Like we ever would be" Harris rolled his eyes.

"But then they saw you with us and we explained who we were and they took us here. We're under ground. And helping the rebels of the Republic out in any way we can." Ryans concluded.

"Glad to know you all haven't been sitting on your asses this whole time." Katniss laughed sitting up.

"Never dream of it Ma'am." Evens smirked, "They were so shocked to find you with us they thought you were our captive when we told them you were our leader they started to help us... And hit on Ryans."

"Shut up" Ryans shoved his friend.

"They want us to call headquarters and set up an alliance between the rebel forces and us." Gibson spoke up.

"You want me to do that I presume." Katniss eyed them.

"Yes please" Harris said in a small voice.

"Well lets get started then, get me cleared to work and we'll get it done."

"That's the thing it'll be really tough to get a hold of headquarters because we're in uncharted territory."

"Yeah well guess who gives a fuck? Not me," Katniss looked at her men, "I can get us in contact with them in no time at all."

A woman who Katniss presumed was her doctor walked in, "So many guests already?" She said with a heavy accent, "Well come back Lieutenant." She said, "I'm your doctor Asrar."

"Call me Katniss."

"You gave us quite a challenge when you arrived. But we fixed it and you'll be good as new in no time." She smiled kindly. She was very pretty long black hair and dark even skin. Brown eyes that were kind but cunning.

"My husband thinks I'm dead, right?" Katniss looked at her men.

"Most likely, we couldn't reach anyone down here." Owens answered. It was then that Katniss noticed Kevin and Johnson holding hands, but she didn't say anything.

"I'm going to give him a stroke some day." Katniss laughed.

"Yep!" Harris piped in, "But you're fine with that after all you go out and shoot up everyone all the damned time." She was examined and set free to begin working.

She met many women on this apparently all women's rebel force but she did have the pleasure of meeting the woman first in command.

"I've heard much about you" The woman had said on their initial greeting, "You have been around the world. In almost every textbook worthy battle."

"Thank you ma'am"

"Please call me Manaal" She said. "After all I've heard you can help us greatly."

"Then please call me Katniss." She said.

"I think you know what I would like to happen." Katniss nodded, "I'm sorry I don't have much else here but we only have technology that works through out the Republic."

"Not a problem" Katniss assured. "I'm not going to lie I'm rubbish with computers, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

Those tricks took a solid month to come out but it was worth it.

"I'll call the head of my department." She said turning to the screen.

"Please call your family once you're done. It's thanks to you that we have this ability" Manaal assured. She was a cold woman who knew what she wanted, but she rewarded one graciously for their achievements.

"President Paylor?" Katniss said loudly and clearly into the computer.

"Hello? Who is this? Why is this number unknown?"

"It's me, Katniss."

"Everdeen?" She asked with a voice of shock.

"Yes ma'am"

"You're alive?"

"My whole regiment is ma'am"

"You were reported MIA."

"Well un report it. I have a bit of a surprise for you"

"Hello?" Manaal spoke to the computer, "I'm the commander of the rebellion taking place in the Republic of Allah" After a few hours of explanation Paylor set up an alliance with the rebels as well as set up transportation for Katniss's regiment back to Headquarters.

"I'll see you in the new year ma'am" Katniss said shutting down the computer.

A full week passed before their departure back to headquarters. And in that time Katniss made many friends and learned many new skills. Such as how to make a bomb from household objects and alternatives to bullets if you have none. It's surprising how well these things will come in handy.

They spent the whole flight over there being caught up on the war front. How many battles were lost and how many won. How the Republic is crumbling to the ground and for a while the entire ride seemed like a dream an endless dream, until they saw a break in the clouds.

* * *

"Peeta the VIPs are here." Jo leaned into his room.

"Coming" He sighed. Finnick met up with them as they walked to the roof. Peeta was glad Finnick's face was completely back to normal and that their friendship remained intact.

It was hard on him but he came to terms with the fact his wife was probably dead. He had no other choice. He knew she'd have wanted him to be happy, but he feared he would never be happy again.

They reached the roof in plenty of time, he figured that meeting the Rebel leader would be a bit of a hell storm. But he tried not to think much of it. When the hover craft came into view they all stiffened to stand at attention.

The hover craft landed, the air moved rapidly all around them. It seemed like an eternity for the ramp to open for both sides of this story. Katniss and her regiment walked out briskly with Manaal behind them.

Finnick, Peeta, and Jo couldn't believe their own eyes. They were sure it was a trick until Katniss rammed herself into her husband knocking him clean off his feet.

She propped herself up and looked at him before standing and helping him up, "They just can't seem to kill me off can they?" She laughed.

"You're... You're-"

"Yes I'm alive I know. It's quite exciting to live actually." She smirked cutting Peeta off mid stutter. "Come here you big idiot" She said to Finnick. She wrapped her arms around him and felt tears on his cheeks.

"Your husband punched me while you were gone" He said.

"Such a tattletale" Jo scoffed though she was crying too. Katniss went to Jo next, "I told you not to sound so dead."

"Hey" Katniss pulled away, "I was in a coma for ten months I was practically dead!" She argued with lightness in her tone. She turned back to her husband who still eyed her suspiciously.

"Peeta," Katniss said, "I'm alive, and well... Now at least." She went back into his arms where he unexpectedly lifted her off the ground and twirled her. "You realize how weird this looks... Since you know we're in uniform."

He swung her legs into his arms, "Fuck that" He said kissing her firmly. "You're not dead."

"I could tell." She laughed taking his head in her hands and kissing him again. "Now put me down, I just got off a hover craft." She sighed.

"Are you kidding? I'll never let you go again" He vowed placing her feet on the ground but keeping her close to his chest.

"And would you please explain the coma?" Jo brought up.

"Coma?" Peeta asked concerned.

"Yeah" Katniss sighed guiltily, "I have really cool scar though!" She joked.

"She's right" Harris broke in. "It's one kick ass scar"

"I'd hate to ruin this little reunion." Manaal said, "But I have a job to do." She, Peeta, Finnick, and Jo all made their way to the meeting.

Katniss and her boys instead went to receive their next orders, which were by far the worst they had ever gotten. Wait and do nothing until further notice.

"Ah fuck!" Harris groaned

"Eloquently put sir" Katniss smiled. "Hey where are Johnson and Kevin?"

"...Dunno" Gibson sighed she could see he knew something. She gave all of them that eye all mothers have until someone spoke up.

"My best guess is they're having sex... With each other" Harris said crassly.

"You see while you were out, we sort of found them in bed together." Roberts said apprehensively, "and we found out during our month of leave last year... They got married."

"And they didn't invite us?" Katniss gasped playfully.

"You of all people are good with this?" Roberts laughed in good nature, they all understood Johnson and Kevin's relationship. They knew they did but it was still a new thing.

"Life's to short to hid emotion" Katniss shrugged.

"Says the queen of death!" Roberts laughs.

"Hell yeah"

By five o'clock Katniss decided to make a little adventure of her own. She walked around headquarters lazily looking in and out of hallways until she found what she was looking for Peeta's room.

She opened the door to find him sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked up and upon seeing her sprang to his feet. His hands glided up and down her back once she closed the door behind her.

"I was wondering when I'd get to see you." She purred which she had never really done before.

"I'm glad you found me." He said crushing her to him and kissing her.

"Good." She whispered.

"What are you doing here?"

"I think you know why."

"Tell me if I'm right" He lifted her up bridal style and placed her on the bed fore joining her.

"Why don't we fuck until the moon sets?" She asked as innocently as those words could sound, while discarding her shirt.

"The moon never sets." He laughed.

"Exactly." She said taking off his shirt. She felt weird to say it but she felt hungry, for him. A year of not being alive she wanted to do the most human thing. She wanted to feel his warmth, hell she wanted to feel him. Just knowing what they were capable of made each of his kisses linger on her lips and where ever he kissed her next.

For the first time in ten months she was truly alive.

* * *

_Well then guess who will now be updating Wednesdays? Me so my loves I bid you adieu... Oh and Saturday's my birthday so I'll probably update Sunday instead. Stay Lovely._


	16. Chapter 16

_Sorry got all caught up reading the Uglies series. Have you read it? If you liked Hunger Games you'll like this most likely. Any way enjoy._

* * *

She knew the moment she woke she was pregnant. She didn't feel sick or anything of that kind but she knew. She even knew when she had conceived the baby.

"Of all places" She muttered under her breath, "The closet was not the place I thought it would happen."

When she got back her and Peeta got really fucking horny and banged everywhere... Not an overstatement they snuck around and did it practically everywhere. She was shocked it took her so long to get this way now that she thought back on it.

It was April now everyone could almost feel the war coming to a close. Though the sun seemed to rise higher and the air warmer Katniss couldn't find relief.

She felt bad that feeling of dread before a storm. That storm would be battle. In the morning she contemplated telling her husband, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as she felt it was.

The honest truth was she didn't want this baby, the honest to god truth whether or not she would admit it to herself was that she wanted to lose this baby. She knew that it wasn't much of a good secret to keep.

She didn't think it wrong, her thoughts about something that wasn't alive yet. She had learned from her doctors visits in the Capitol the baby isn't alive until the tenth week. She would never intentionally kill it with an abortion, not that she thought that was wrong if you had good reason.

She very much wanted to not think those thoughts but they just happened to be there.

She reached the meeting room where he was almost always at. She found him but he wasn't alone.

"Katniss I was just about to send for you" Finnick smiled.

"Guess what Kitty Kat, you've got orders!"

"Oh joy" she mumbled.

"The Republic has called a truce but the Kingdom is advancing. About twenty miles away so we're sending you out with a couple hundred others to stop them."

"Whoa, wait hundreds?"

"Can you handle that many?"

"Are you sure that's enough?"

"It's plenty, you leave in twenty minutes, we've sent a message to your men meet them at the loading dock."

"Bu-"

"We don't have time Kitty Kat, Finnick knows what he's doing."

"I-"

"Katniss go," Peeta laughed. Now she was angry so she said nothing exiting the room. She began to have a dark hope, the kind of hope that scares you when the thought comes but you can't stop thinking about it. She began to hope she'd lose the baby if she fought.

Maybe if she lost it no one would have to know.

Maybe if she lost it then she could simply say she didn't know she had even been pregnant.

She thought these things working out plans of losing the baby and coming up with stories as to not knowing it was even there to begin with.

Thinking dark hopes she flew out to the battle grounds.

Clearly they'd have to wait. Katniss sat with her boys laughing like everything was normal. Like she hadn't lived her morning the way she had.

For the next few days she was happy to know she had forgotten completely about the morning before leaving.

She and her boys spent the days in camp waiting for the Kingdoms, they would come in their own good time.

She would laugh and watch the sun go away in the sky. She watched the stars glisten in the spring sky.

The moon acting as the perfect spotlight for a battle. Katniss saw the Kingdoms troops approaching her.

"Everyone!" She shouted "Come on we've got some guests to welcome." In sudden rush of preparedness guns began firing.

Both sides felt jolted forward and back. Jostling every which way Katniss's men were spread far and thin.

She wasn't in the mood for lying to herself so she said it out loud. "We may loose." Just then Owens looked at her fear stricken.

Glancing down the line men were falling like dominos. Katniss held her breath feeling nauseated at the very sight. Blood seeped into the wet dirt making it a sickening maroon. Then she realized none of them were dead. Upon further inspection she could see thin frames near her troops. skeletons shaking under the weight of guns.

Eyes that were not their owners, they were empty except for their loyalty. The Kingdoms were fighting with corpses

This time she did vomit. "Lieutenant!" Owens shouted at her when she shot again.

"Fall back!" She called weakly. Standing on shaky legs she followed her men who dragged their friends by limp unconscious arms.

Her stomach made her cringe again and in a matter of blinded moment she was on the ground in an unknown source of pain.

All she could feel was a searing pain spread everywhere in her body. Death did not cross her mind because she felt worse, but another thought did. Did I lose my baby? She asked herself mentally.

She would never admit this but she sincerely hoped so. She felt arms surround her but kept her eyes closed in the hopes of finding herself somewhere new.

She heard shots fired, could have sworn she heard skin penetrated. Yet she did not open her eyes.

She kept them snapped shut in high hopes that she was simply scaring herself into a foolish belief that she was in shooting range.

She felt a change in her atmosphere but she dared to keep her eyes shut. Afraid to find herself in some strange captivity. She felt who ever carried her lay her out on a bed and she allowed her eyes to squint. She was on an infirmary hover craft.

Almost thankful for her injury months prior to this. She felt little pain now.

"Lieutenant Colonel, I'll be escorting you up to surgery." A man said rolling her away.

"Alright." She sighed pain dulling to a light sear. "And just know" She spoke this softly, "It's okay if you can't save the baby."

"The WHAT?!" The man asked in a shrill fearful voice.

"Shh," She sighed, "I haven't told anyone." It was just THE baby to her. Not her baby like the other two had been. She really didn't want this child at all. It would just be the baby.

Now maybe it would be the baby she never met.

* * *

_Alrighty then on that jolly note I'll end this little party. I'll see you my lovely's next week I hope you'll have a great school week as I am and as always stay lovely._


	17. Chapter 17

_Hey ya'll it's back to the old me with really long ass chapters! I don't really know if you care or not but lets just continue shall we?_

* * *

If you would really like to know what our main character is going through, reader, I recommend that you take a seat.

Just close your eyes and focus very intently, I know it may sound strange but stay with me here. When you close your eyes (or as you read this keep them open) you will notice a few things.

One, I will say close your eyes and then I say that you should see something. At first you see nothing at all. You see pitch darkness maybe splashes of color evident from looking at lights too long. But as you keep your eyes closed your mind begins to wander farther and farther for if you actually closed your eyes I have not told you what to see.

As you sit there you begin to dream not even necessarily about you or our main character you just think. And the longer you sit and think the more you see the less you want to open your eyes. You begin to see a picture of a good place, it doesn't even have to be happy but it is a good place. Your eyes begin to shutter as you have spent so long sitting up with closed eyes.

Still you keep them closed and see a story. It is your story even though you have not lived it and have memory it is something you have seen or done. You slip from realities hold and find a better more colorful vibrant forgiving world there.

You begin to want something selfish, to always be there. When something abruptly stops your thoughts in their track. You're eyes open and there is work in front of you. Textbooks to be read, bills to be paid, problems to solve, and life to live. You sighed a realize there is something you still have left to do and you cannot keep your eyes closed.

Never the less you wish you could close your eyes again and go back to that vibrant world but now you cannot because you are not there. You are in the real world and there are things to be done.

This is how our heroine feel. She could close her eyes and see her family happy and smiling. Her daughter playing with her son and her husband chasing after them. In that world she would drift off to, she could be pregnant. She would have never seen the horrors of Insanity. She would have never even known of the Republic, or the Kingdoms, or Oceania.

She would be at home pregnant happy alive with her family and friends. She could have seen her little girls first day of school. Watched her son take his first steps.

She had in fact done this by postponing involvement in the war. She postponed the war however it could not last just as you could not always keep your eyes shut.

She got to close her eyes and be extremely happy. But that is not the case. Not now and not ever again it feels. The difference is there are greater things to be done then pay bills or read a text book or do chores. For there is a war to be fought, lives that must be saved from tyranny.

For that moment when she walked to the meeting room with the original intention of telling her husband she was expecting, she realized there were much bigger things she must do now.

She had a war to fight, she had to keep her family safe. She had to be worlds away from her children. She could not simply sit down and do nothing as she had during the rebellion.

Two, reader, may be a bit of a different approach. When you think about love... Who, or what do you think of? You're family, friends, materials, gods, ideas, stories, betrayal? Love is something we all have now and forever. I do believe that from the day we are born to the day we die we have love in our lives and hearts.

But love isn't always kissing and whispering tender nothings. It is also about doing what is right for those loved ones. It's sometimes even simply seeing pain and making a smile out of it.

She felt love for her life and children she truly did. Only... To put it simply she did not love the world they now lived.

She had now seen the worst in the world. She'd seen evil in many sick and twisted ways. She'd seen children and grown adults with no hope left in their dead angry eyes.

Why would she want to bring one more soul into this world? Maybe it would be more painless to loose a child then to have it live in a world she now associated with hell.

Reader I must ask you, what would you feel? Indifference, hate, or hope? For Katniss and I have seen the horrors of Insanity. Together you, her and I have bonded through the triumphs and pitfalls of war. To say life is life cannot be accurately expressed because if those words came from my mouth I would want to let this soul find its way out of our world as soon as possible. But I reader find hope in everything, a downfall of mine. I see a brighter future but do you?

Ponder these thoughts reader, not because these words are that... Words. Not because it's just me trying to tell you a story through words that standing alone mean little to nothing at all.

But ponder them because they mean something to you. One must wonder every now and then what does this life mean? Is it hell, or just a state of purgatory where nothing is endlessly wonderful and nothing is endlessly awful?

Do not ponder these things because they are simply words on a computer screen. Ponder them because they have meaning that can make you think differently and see another point of view.

But for now lets continue our story, our main character was taken to surgery and was now back at headquarters.

She awoke in the infirmary of headquarters with Peeta by her side," It wasn't that bad" She smiled at him.

"That's what they said. That you were really well off." He stroked her hand. The doctors had patched her up and brought her back to headquarters. They had lost the battle, but they had yet to lose the war. That was the only thing that counted, the only thing that mattered in the game of war.

"We missed you" He smiled, "Peony made drawings in class for us."

"Mrs. Mellark I'm here to start your IV." A nurse entered the bedroom.

"IV, what for?" Katniss asked expecting to be released.

"It's just standard procedure for the baby." Katniss could only think of one word that could describe her feelings, Fuck.

"What baby?" Peeta asked the nurse in good nature.

"The one..." She suddenly looked very ashamed.

"Katniss, what's she talking about?" He was being naive it was unclear if he truely didn't understand or if he just didn't want it to be true.

After a bit of silence Katniss answered,"... I think you can answer that one for yourself."

"Katniss, are you saying... You're..." She looked up at him with guilty eyes, "How long have you known?" She was silent, "Katniss how long have you known?"

"Come on now you can answer that for yourself just by looking at me" She snapped, not wanting to tell him herself for fear of feeling saddened by the thought. She didn't want the thing, it was a simple nuisance to her, but he would want it. That's how he was, always wanting things never seeming completely satisfied, this is how Katniss viewed him in this moment.

For once in his life he looked extremely pissed, "You knew and yet you went into battle?"

"In my defense I tried to tell you before I left-"

"You knew and you fought?" He said this harshly.

"... Yes" she said defiantly.

He stood up enraged, "How could you?"

She wondered this, upon finding the courage and correct words she spoke, "Not everyone wants kids all the time Peeta."

"But you tried to get rid of it?"

"Yes! I did." Katniss didn't feel ashamed in fact she felt justified, "I was hoping I'd lose it." She felt the words singe her mind with brutality for now she fully understood her motives. She understood her actions and why she had forgotten it. She wanted it gone.

"You tried to kill our baby?"

"No I didn't, A we have two children, B It's not alive until after ten weeks."

"Katniss you understand that you are telling me you are justified in trying to kill another human being."

"What is war Peeta?" She asked reaching a point where she would be just as enraged as him.

"Don't you dare-"

"We've been killing ever since the war began don't you dare get mad at me for trying to not bring another life into this world. Actually I take that back I've been fighting and killing for two years!"

"The difference is we made this one. You are trying to rid the world of your own flesh and blood."

"We have two kids Peeta, I don't want this one! Is it so wrong that I don't want another baby? Is it so wrong that living in the world we do I don't want another life to suffer like us?"

"Yes." He said in low anger.

"I guess living in a world where death is the only constant I figured this would hardly matter." She dared to say this with the HOPE he would be angry with her. She could physically see the toll her words were taking on him how clearly infurated he became with each hissing bite of sharp words.

"Katniss you are going home as soon as I can get you the hell out of here!" He had never spoken to her with so much venom in his voice. Never had she heard him speak to her with so much hate. She didn't think he could speak to her that way.

"Fine why don't you go work on that?" She said sharply. He looked at her intently with eyes that shot literal daggers into her. He stormed out of the room and only then did she noticed the nurse had gone.

"It seems you're free to go... What's wrong with him?" Her doctor entered her room. Katniss looked down at her knees in shame. She didn't want to feel ashamed but at the same time she realized Peeta had never been so furious with her.

She had spent the rest of the day avoiding him primarily in her bedroom where she could be alone.

She hadn't expected the door to open and her husband to walk in. He tossed some papers onto the bed and looked at her. His eyes were hurt now, not so enraged that they would shoot daggers. Instead they made her pity him, his anger replaced with painful saddness.

She didn't say a word to him but followed him with her eyes as he exited the bedroom. She sighed upon his exit tears welling up in her eyes.

"Why did you have to come along and make everything so difficult?" She asked putting her hand on her flat stomach, "I don't want you... Sorry. I almost died last time I had a baby. The time before that I refused to push. It seems this won't be too easy either." She found her hand touching her bare skin where the baby was growing, "God damn, your father wants you though... Well actually it's kind of hard to tell if he wants you, but he always wants more kids.

"Sorry I don't love you." She said finally, falling back on her pillow to fall asleep.

* * *

The next day she was walking through an empty corridor when two sets of hands grabbed her arms.

"Kitty Kat," Jo said.

"We need to talk to you." Finnick said they both sounded concerned

"About what?" She asked though she already knew.

"Are you really... having another one?" Jo asked. Katniss said nothing as she turned her face to look at them. She as she looked at them her eyes were cold and clearly read, What do you think?

"Did you really know about it when you went into the battle." She looked at him with guilt that she didn't actually feel. "Katniss" He sighed.

"What?" She asked sharply finding herself into yet another argument.

"How could you do that?" Jo asked horrified. It was evident that disappointment leaked into her tone. Disapprovingly squinted eyes, tense muscles that showed shock. It was all their in their body language, how utterly disappointed they were in their friend.

"What? _Try _and miscarry?" Katniss laughed, "Jo you're one to talk. Weren't you the one who wanted to abort your son?"

"That was before I became a mother, that was completely different."

"Right, you wanted an abortion because of your personal fears. I want to get rid of mine because I don't want it to grow up in this fucked up world. My bad, sorry I'm just a selfish bitch."

"That's not it at all."

"Really? Because what I said about myself is true. You're just being hypocritical."

"You have two children how could you even think about killing one?"

"I love it so I don't want it to know what this world has to screw it over."

"How can you be so childish?" Finnick shook his head.

"Childish? I hardly recall wanting to save another life from seeing the hell that is our world childish. "

"The way you're acting is childish Katniss you must see that!" He rolled his eyes at her.

"I'm acting upon logic and reasoning what don't you see in that?"

"I can't see past your rude presentation, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Maybe I just didn't want to be the girl who gets knocked up at inconvenient times."

"You know I didn't mean that harshly" Jo spoke with dark intensity.

"Oh, I'm sorry that I have to be a supporting friend all the damned time for you, but you get to freely judge me. Both of you are some great friends."

"Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen-"

"No Finnick you are not my superior at this point in time. You are my friend who I'm pissed off at."

"Katniss!" Jo shouted, "What the hell is wrong with you? Killing your own child that's not right."

"So sorry you think so." She mocked before walking backwards a few paces.

"Katniss why would you even try something like that?" Finnick said disappointed.

"It's my body, is it so wrong that I wanted to fight for our freedom rather then sit at home and be pregnant? You know I've killed countless people in the past two years. And before that I killed children for someone's entertainment, sorry I didn't worry to much about something that isn't alive yet. And I'm sorry I'm not fucking perfect." She turned to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Finnick snapped.

"To tell my regiment I'm leaving, Sir!" She spat out her last few words before walking away to her boy's room.

"Ma'am!" Ryans said shocked and everyone stood at attention.

"At ease." She said and they all took their own seats.

"Orders already?" Harris asked.

"I have..."

"What?" Roberts asked.

"Mat leave" She did feel ashamed now. Her boys, her close friends whom have saved one another countless times over looked at her with despair. "I leave at eighteen oh hundred hours."

"... Does that mean the rumors... Are true?" Owens asked.

"Yes" She saw anger and hurt reflect in his eyes. "Go ahead, yell at me. Everyone already has, I am after all just a human punching bag."

"Why? Why if you're a mother?" Owens asked. "I'd have been furious at my wife had she tried to pull that kind of a stunt."

"Believe me, my husband has been... In answer to your question, it's because sometimes we don't want children born into a world full of war and pain."

"But you have children."

"I don't want any more. That is an irrelevant point actually. I have children, that means nothing in this situation."

"How could you do that to another life?"

"A life in hell is not a life worth living."

"How do you know it'll be hell for the kid? How do you know things won't get better?"

"I have two children at home who are forced to see if their parents died everyday, how in hell can it get better?"

"It's not right."

"Oh I'm sorry that you can't have children and therefore can't understand what it is I'M going through"

"But the decision to keep a child-"

"Is the hardest god damned decision on this planet!"

"I can't believe you would be such-"

"Such a what? A bitch? A failure maybe? A failure at being what, a mother, or a woman?" Owens didn't respond. For awhile there was nothing but silence in the room.

"You'll be assigned a new leader in my absence..." Katniss sighed turning to everyone, "I'll be back in the new year." She turned to Owens, "I'm not mad that you have an opinion, Owens, I'm mad because you don't understand nor respect mine." He looked as if he wanted to say something but didn't. "Good luck men, I'll see you again"

With that she walked out, upon her exit she saw Finnick and Jo waiting for her at the end of the hall.

"What?" She snapped nearing them.

"We care about you Katniss" Finnick said, "But someone's got to set you straight."

"Please spare me your kind words, you've said enough."

"Calm down!" Jo shouted. "Just listen to us!"

"I'll listen to you when someone listens to me!" Katniss huffed in anger. "I've heard every argument from here to Sunday I get that you don't approve of my actions! I am not so mentally unhinged that I don't see that. I see why you're mad but do you see why I'm upset with you?

"I mean for gods sake I yelled at my husband for twenty minutes over this and he didn't hear a damned word of what I had to say. All he heard was, 'I fucking tried to kill your child!' nothing else.

"So until you can hear me and my reasoning I won't listen to you. For gods sake you don't even have to agree with me just understand why I did it!" Katniss stormed off leaving her argument to rest.

So she thought at least, until she reached twelve. The flight home was silent. Silent tears, silent prayers, and even silent hopes that she wouldn't have to tell them why she was back.

When she landed and got off the hver car it was a few minutes walk to the train station. All hover vehicles landed in district one and you had to take the train back to your district.

The train ride was more bearable, actual windows and scenery to watch pass by instead of just black blue oceans.

When she arrived it took no less then two seconds for her children to find her arms.

"Mommy!" Peony dug her head into Katniss's chest.

"Mama!" Leif toddled over to her and rammed into her other arm.

She said nothing but she rocked them back and forth kissing the both of them as many times as she could.

"We missed you mommy" Peony cried

"I missed you too princess." Peony pulled back and looked into her mothers eyes.

"And I missed you my little knight." Katniss picked up her son. He clung to her and giggled as his feet left the ground.

"Katniss" She looked up and saw not only her little sister but Delly standing by a far wall. She carried Leif over to them with Peony taking one of her hands.

"Hi Dell, Hi Prim." She said holding them, "I missed you."

"We missed you to Kat." Prim assured.

"We heard about the baby!" Delly said excitedly.

"Did you?" Katniss asked seeing the two had no idea what had happened.

"Yes it's so exciting!" Delly laughed, "Another baby!"

"Mommy, Auntie Prim says I'm getting another brother, am I?"

"I don't know sweetie"

"I might get a sister?"

"Yeah" Katniss smiled at her daughter still not sure she even wanted to keep the damned thing. "Brother?"

"What?" Prim laughed.

"I think it's a girl" Delly said defensively.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "Didn't you think all of yours were girls and then Leif"

"What?"

"Nothing" Katniss laughed shaking her head. "Lets go home okay?"

"Yeah, I'm going to go pick up my kids from their grandma's house before coming over."

"Alright Dell see you soon."

"I'm glad to have you back Kat."

"What? Not enjoying motherhood?"

"No I love it, but I'm not you. They ask me to sing to them at night but I can't do it like you."

They walked the rest of the way in silence.

The children were playing in the back yard simply enjoying the fine May evening. Katniss and Prim watched as Delly chased the children in a playful manner.

"They act like there is no war going on." Katniss sighed.

"There isn't a war here Kat, we're trying to pretend it's not happening here. Because it's easier that way." Prim hugged her big sister before returning to the table "Katniss."

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" She said walking toward her baby sister.

"Did you really fight like this Kat?"

She looked into her baby sisters eyes, she was old enough to understand now. She can understand war better now than when she was hardly fourteen. "Yes"

"Why?"

"Because... I don't want this baby."

"That's hardly an excuse"

"Prim-"

"No!" She shook her head, "No, why Katniss? Why would you even think about killing something so venerable, so reliant on you for life? Why? You're a mother Katniss why would you do that?" Prim seemed angered in a way Katniss hadn't expected.

"I was thinking-"

"I hardly believe that!"

"Prim, you don't understand, you don't understand that I've had a baby during a war before. I've had a baby during war and every god forsaken day I died on the inside knowing my little girl would be growing up in a world full of hate and war!

"I was scared every day I was pregnant with Peony that isn't something someone does twice without hesitation!"

"You're right I don't understand and I never will!"

"Is this about Rory Prim? Is it?"

"Katniss-"

"Because if it is,"

"Katniss-"

"You can't be mad at him for dying in a war-"

"Shut up! You don't know what kind of hell I've been through."

"Well then please elaborate."

"I can't have children! For gods sake Katniss! The last war left you with a baby and I was left a cripple Katniss. There was so much nuclear exhaust that I lost my ability to have children.

"I told Rory and he ran off to the war. He ran off and I never got to see him alive again. You're telling me that you were afraid for your baby to grow up in this world. I lived a year wondering where in hell my big sister was or if I would live to see another day.

"And then I find out the war took something even more valuable from me. I can't have a baby Katniss and here you are trying to get rid of yours?" Her baby sister knew more about war than Katniss had ever thought.

"How did you even know about the whole... Thing?"

"Peeta told me..." She sighed sounding fed up with her older sister, "because he wants me to stop you if you try anything else like that. Believe me when I say this Katniss I will stop you if I have too."

"Does Delly know?"

"No one else does, Finnick won't tell Annie and Jo's so pissed she wouldn't even talk to me."

"Great just what I need more people pissed at me."

"You've been making it easy."

"Prim" Katniss sighed

"Kat, don't even start."

"What happened here?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Prim..." Katniss took a deep breath, "There was a little boy in Insanity... He was about six years old and his face was hardly a face. He had one eye forever shut. One eye to big, a cracking bleeding mouth and gnarled teeth. He looked at me... And he tried to speak but he couldn't... Because he had a tube down his throat to keep him alive...

"Then a machine next to him started to say things. I guess he was hooked up to it some how but I'm not sure. This machine said, 'You can't save me... You can't save me or the others here. I'm immobile, and the others have no minds left. Please just kill me quickly.'

"I don't want to bring another life into a world where a six year old child pleads for me to kill him." She said this with tears trailing down her cheeks, "You pretend like there is no war but god damn it there is a war. And I've seen everything."

Suddenly there was a loud siren coming from outside. Katniss jumped, suddenly very afraid. The children were now walking out of view with Delly.

"What the hell?"

"Relax Kat, they sound that alarm just incase there's a bombing, like in district one before the war began. It's probably just another drill."

"Oh..." Katniss said with shaky breaths.

"You alright?" Prim asked taking her sister's arm.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine." She assured her. "Just, good god." She looked down abe breathed as if it would help rid her of her now fleeting fears.

"Its fine Katniss really." Prim said, "You really don't look alright."

"Give me a few minutes." Katniss said finding the bathroom and vomiting. She would not get used to this a third time. The siren sounded again and so Katniss got up to leave the bathroom.

"We should really head out Kat." Prim took a strong hold of her sister.

"Okay... Lets just go..." She said again breathing out heavily. She allowed Prim to lead her out of the house. Prim turned around to close the door.

Katniss looked up and had never felt her eyes grow so large.

"What is it Kat? Are you going to be sick again?" Prim asked taking hold of her sister again, as if she were afraid she'd faint.

"No... Look" She pointed out far out in the distance hover cars were flying closer to the city.

"It's not a drill? They're really going to bomb us!?" Prim asked quickly, evident fear creeping through out her body tensing her muscles.

"No... Those don't carry bombs, Prim." Katniss said as her trained eye kicked into use. She'd seen these before learned all about them. "They carry people."

* * *

_Hello dearies here you are a little gift from me to you. I'll see ya'll Wednesday. Stay lovely!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Hey Y'all I have some good news, this story in now a part of a community! But bad news is I have no idea what that means. It's called 'Swirls of Grey' I have literally no clue about this so anyone who can help me figure out what that means exactly will be loved... But I love all of you guys. _

_Also holy Jesus, over nine THOUSAND views. Holy shit and over thirty favorites. This is just... I'll let you read but I'm just so in wow of how amazingly supportive you guys are and how you always come back to read so I thank you. _

_One more thing, I'd like to welcome my new favorites and followers we've almost got forty! Welcome to the family I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know your awesome!_

_I'll just shut my face now..._

* * *

"...What are we going to do?" Prim asked suddenly revealing the scared twelve-year-old she once was. "Katniss what are they doing here? What's going to happen? What do they want?" She clutched her sister's arm for reassurance that did not come.

"Where's the bunker?" Katniss asked. Her little sister still holding her ran to the bunker everyone was waiting in. "Everyone listen up we don't have much time"

"Katniss what are you doing?" Prim inquired.

"Everything I can" She said to her sister as sternly as she could. Her army training flooding through her head spurting ideas for a battle. "Someone gather all the children into one room!" She commanded.

"It seems the Kingdoms brought the fight to us." She began to speak once the children were all hidden away.

"We need to get together a plan and fast. Anyone who can and knows how to use a gun form a group on the right. Anyone who can't go to the left."

"Katniss you can't be serious" Prim said in a low tone.

"I have to do this Prim. No one else has seen these people in action."

"Peeta told me-"

"Prim I have a duty to my friends and children right now. This has nothing to do with Peeta, this is about protecting my family." She looked up and saw everyone crowded on the right.

"Okay everyone, we need guns." She said this almost unsure of herself.

"We store them here in the cellar just in case" Delly spoke up.

"How many?"

"The Capitol sent us a whole bunch of them when the war started." Delly nodded to a door on the left.

"Good. Go ahead and get one for each of you make sure to get enough ammo then come straight back."

"Katniss what are you doing?" Prim pulled her sister aside.

"What do you think?" Katniss asked sternly, irritated with these arguments.

"I'm not letting you do this."

"Good thing I'm not asking for permission."

"Katniss-"

"You'll stay with the kids Prim. Get ready for injuries. I'm trusting you with our lives."

"Katniss!" Prim harshly grabbed her sister's arm, "No! I will not let you go out and fight. You are not loosing this baby."

"It survived the last time didn't it?" Katniss asked with a tone of annoyance.

"Kat, No!"

"The baby will be fine."

"I'm putting my foot down."

"Would you rather be captured by a bunch of sadistic bastards and forced into a communistic world worse than ours pre-rebellion?"

"I can't let you do this!"

"I'm the big sister Prim. Take care of our kids. We have no other option."

"Katniss." Prim protested again but this time Katniss didn't turn around she followed the rest of the women and elderly to get guns.

"Everyone listen up I need eight volunteers to stay close to the bunker. You're job will be to keep the children down here and out of harms way." Twelve hands shot up. They divided out. Sae being their leader.

"In need three groups of twenty. And six groups of thirty" She said grabbing as much ammo as she could carry. "You all I need on my right." She pointed and they all nodded. "You on my left. You last twenty cover the rear. The rest of you will follow behind me, but stay in your groups."

They all obeyed and followed her out on to the clear grass. The sun was setting ominously over the musty trees. The air carriers had landed now, only three which meant only three hundred men against two hundred and forty-eight villagers. Fair enough, the odds have been worse for Katniss.

The dust settled where the carriers had landed. The soldiers filed out, waiting seemed like it would kill them faster than any bullet.

Silence over took every inch of the district. Everything seemed dead before a shot had even been fired. In the stillness one could hear the villagers hearts beat as one.

The soldiers were lining up having noticed their enemies waiting.

"Fire" Katniss whispered and everyone began to shoot. A battle had begun. This one different than anyone fought before.

Because their children waited under the ground. This was their home, the war was now real to everyone.

They had to fight for something. That was a change for Katniss, her reason being under her feet instead of in her head.

The sound of gun shots squealed and hissed. Though this battle was quick it was hard to notice if you were in it.

For fear replaced your blood. Solely running on that fear of your children being taken away.

Your eyes did not blink because it took everything in your power to aim at someone.

These women and elderly had more drive then some whole armies. Simply because this was more than their home it was their life.

Katniss and her group pressed forward as far as they dared sending the hundred or so men into an apparent rage.

They didn't have any ammunition left from the sounds of it. Katniss stopped shooting when she saw them stand up. They held their guns tightly charging Katniss's group.

She stood as well and shot again. She could now see the running figures would not be shooting but rather beating.

Every man in the opposing lines broke the line and began to fight with bare hands and the butts of their guns. People were fighting like savages now. Punching, hitting, and stabbing one another.

Katniss found herself saving others more than her own battles. She'd double up on one man knocking him to the ground. At least this way there would be less fatal wounds.

It was very clear these people were not expecting a battle. They seemed frazzled and afraid. Afraid of what? A bunch of elderly people and young women who did not enlist?

No it was something far more deserving of their fear. They were afraid to lose, afraid of everything but death. In the Kingdoms no one runs from a fight they are famous for their many sayings. Death is glory, when a battle in won or lost. Injury is bliss, when winning the fight. Living is a curse, all of the time.

Suddenly Katniss found an attacker upon her. His eyes were a dead sickly gold, he couldn't have been fifteen years old, which was the age of enlistment for boys. This boy was tall and thin as bone.

It was a wonder he held his own against Katniss. He was destroyed, it read so all over his face. There was nothing left in him. Not a soul, nor a heart, all he had to show for his years was a brain washed of persona wiped clear of love and family. Like all soldiers Katniss had encountered from the Kingdoms he had nothing left but a wasted and unwanted life.

Then she was struck, her brain rattled inside her skull as she fell to the lush green ground. She now felt pain somewhere, but where?

Damn it, she cursed in her mind. She hated her new tolerance for pain, she never knew where the pain came from but it was always dull. It was always just there. As if it were a simple vibration one receives from a phone call.

She tried to think where was the pain coming from?

"No..." She whispered. Opening her eyes she saw people all around her fighting with their hands. It was like the hunger games all over again. The senseless killing in the blood bath. Grass that glistened with dark dew and blood. Starry skies that concealed the fighting scene, as if to hide the truth from the innocent eyes of the morning.

She let her hand struggle to her stomach on contact she cringed. "You don't get to put me through hell and then just die." She whispered cringing again her hand gripped firmly over the baby. The baby that was smaller than a coin, the baby that relied on her for life. The parasite making her sick and hormonal... The baby she did not call her own.

"Damn it you don't get to leave me." She scolded the baby she did not want. She pleaded for it now. "Please"

* * *

"Mama! Mama! The TV turned on by its self!" Lily shouted stumbling over herself, to reach her mother. Fin was at school and the twins were taking a nap. Annie had been talking to Finnick and Peeta about visiting Katniss it twelve.

"What, did you say, baby?" She asked picking up the little girl to put her on her lap.

"The TV turned on by its self." She said again. Clinging to her mothers shirt she stood up on the woman's knees.

"Sweetie you know they only do that when there's something really important." Annie laughed placing her hands on the little sandy-haired girls hips lifting her to a sitting position, "Nothing I don't know about is going on right Finnick?"

"Right dear" He laughed. "How's my little girl."

"Daddy they said that there were thingies landing in district twelve!" Lily said sure of what she had seen. Pulling out a stubborn trait from her gene pool.

"There's nothing there baby. Daddy's taking care of the war."

"Uncle Peeta!" She whined desperate for someone to believe her.

"Lily you know everything is fine over there. You and your mommy are safe." Peeta laughed admiring the child's persistence.

"But Aunty Katniss-"

"We know sweetie, we're thinking about going to visit them, would you like that?"

"No! Not while those thingies are still there!" The little girl shook her hair slapping herself with long hair before folding her arms, pouting a little.

"What thingies precious?" Annie asked kissing her forehead.

"The thingies on the TV!" Just as she said so the television in the living room turned on.

"See!" Lily said scrambling over to the television where a brightly colored woman appeared.

"What didn't you tell me Finnick?" Annie asked sternly.

"Nothing I swear!" He said thinking about Katniss having fought before she left. They had come to an agreement to not tell anyone what had occurred.

"In breaking news on the war front. The Kingdoms dropped off close to three hundred troops to capture district twelve. In a last-ditch effort to protect the district, the women and elderly took up arms and went to battle.

"About two hours later the fight has ended leaving no surviving Kingdoms troops and roughly half of the population in district twelve were injured including Katniss Everdeen-Mellark who had received the rank of Lieutenant Colonel before the beginning of the war. She was on leave when the attack occurred and was the leader of this ragtag home front troop.

"No further information was reported about the incident due to the damaged phone lines and any access into the district has been cut off. Authorities are investigating as of now bringing supplies to the wounded women of the district.

"Some say that this attack was planed for months in advance but they did not expect a fight to ensue. The elected officials of the districts are making decisions to better protect themselves against further threats.

"Though from the sounds of it district twelve will need no help in that department." She laughed like anyone from the Capitol would, "I'm now with Head Peacekeeper Samuel Pickens with further information. Sir, is there any idea of casualties?"

"No not yet. We've flown doctors from all around Panem to help out. Not one of the women or elderly wounded has died. We are doing everything we can to keep down the panic"

"Is there any information available to us as of now?"

"Right now we aren't even sure what's happening down there. We're working as quickly as we can but other wise nothing else."

"Thank you for your time. Authorities are reporting that the Kingdoms are collapsing and that this was their own attempt to take back their control, this failure may lead to a swifter close to the war." The television clicked off.

"See Mama! I told you! I told you the Television turned on by its self!" The little girl bounced back over to her mother.

"Go upstairs sweetheart." Annie said with wide fear filled eyes.

"Mama-"

"Lily go upstairs!" She said in a raised tone causing the little girl to run away crying. "Finnick when is Katniss getting there?"

"Today... At noon."

"And she-"

"AGAIN!?" Peeta slammed his fists into the table shaking the screen. "We sent her away so she wouldn't fight! God damn..." He disappeared from Annie's sight.

"Finnick what's he-"

"Annie I think you should go comfort our daughter."

"Finnick Odair you tell me this instant."

"Annie-"

"This. Instant." She said in a tone of a mother who has caught you sneaking into the house at two in the morning.

"Katniss... She fought before leaving for the districts. Pregnant" Finnick sighed. "I'll keep him calm Annie. I got him, just take care of Lily" Finnick hung up.

Annie stared at the screen in shock and upon hearing all three of her children crying for her she did not move. She saw only the images of Katniss fighting and losing her baby. Annie knew how it felt, to lose a child. She had lost one before.

When she had become a victor, back when she was mostly crazy. How Finnick never even knew, and how if he ever found out he'd be crushed.

On her victory tour when he held her every night to make the nightmares go away. When she felt so afraid to lose his love she had given him her innocence, and unexpectedly given her womb for his child.

When she had found out about the little one, she had walked around the bay of district four. The next week he told her she'd be mentoring and the next day she found blood on her sheets. She had been alone that night, the only time she had slept alone since her victory.

She cried as she cleaned up her home and herself. She felt empty and lost. She felt insanity take her further into its grasp. That was the day she had attempted suicide. The day he vowed to never leave her alone for a minute.

Annie remembered how it felt to lose her baby. She would do everything in her power to make certain Katniss never felt what she had felt.

At the hands of the Capitol fear had killed her child. Now at the hands of the Kingdoms Katniss might know how it feels to lose a part of herself.

The cries of Annie's children grew louder and she found tears stream down her own face. Yet she did not move entranced in her memories of the lost child. It would be eleven now, in its last year of freedom before reaping.

"Annie!" A family friend burst into the house. "Annie! Are you here?" She didn't answer. "ANNIE!" She felt her friend, Regina, shake her shoulders. "Annie snap out of it!" Regina put her hands on Annie's face. She was pale and warm, her pupils dilated.

"Can you go calm my children I think I need to lie down." She said hoarsely finally finding her words and using them.

"You okay Annie?" Annie nodded and Regina ran up the stairs in moments there was silence.

Annie got up moving a few paces before laying on the couch. She was suddenly filled with the memories again.

She had not wanted a baby, when she lost hers. She spent her walk around the bay trying to convince herself it was a good thing. She came up with names, she had told herself "Life is like an ocean. It can be calm and still or rough and rigid. But in the end it's always beautiful." But it didn't help like it had when her mother used to tell her this as a child.

She pictured a baby, the most innocent and pure thing known to us, decapitated like her partner.

She could feel her eyes glossing over as she stared at the ceiling. She noted tears falling into her ears like they always do when one lays down.

She closed her eyes and opened them again hoping to feel different.

She did not, she felt her body grow warmer at the memory of her indifference to her baby's death at the time. How she cried only out of sympathy. That it should be conceived only to die.

"Annie, are you okay?" Annie saw her younger self, in the mirror after the miscarriage. 'Murder,' she had spat at herself, 'murdering witch. You truly are a victor, the killing never ends does it?'

She remembered, that each word she had uttered was a scar on her left arm, how when she had run out of room to cut she slashed up her thighs.

'You filthy bitch, you mentally unstable shred of a woman. You corpse... You became just another product of the Capitol! Now look at yourself. Look at who you've become.'

"Annie!" Regina shook her arms again. "Answer me, are you okay?"

Annie looked at her with glazed eyes, "No" She whispered in a voice small and rough, like she were sick.

"Annie, do you want me to call a doctor?" Annie didn't answer she looked up at the ceiling again think about the baby she killed, about Katniss.

She had to save Katniss from this pain, from this utter insanity. But as she began to think these things she felt feverish.

Shaking though her skin was abnormally warm. She was sweating though freezing, she ached and her brain was running faster than she could fathom.

Regina had left Annie alone, but she didn't notice. Katniss, she had to save Katniss. She had to save her from knowing the death of her child.

"Annie, I'm taking you to the hospital. Leia is here to watch the kids, okay?"

Annie only answered, "I just lost the damned thing you insensitive bitch."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Finnick sighed looking at Peeta.

"Calling them,"

"What in hell makes you think she'll be there? Or any of them for that matter."

"Finnick this is my family! I have to just try." His call didn't go through and he began to sob. "Why does this always happen?"

"It doesn't always happen." Finnick sighed.

"It kind of does, really frequently."

"There was nothing we could have done."

"I told Prim to protect her. To keep her safe."

"You know that she probably tried to stop her. But you know how women are when they have their minds set in something."

"I wish this war would end already" He broke into hysterics.

"Peeta, you can't just fall apart-"

"Finnick I think I can. Shut the fuck up." He was not angry he was crushed. As if destroyed and thrown into oblivion. His voice was defeated, his shoulders slumped over, his body sulked in a way no one else had ever seen.

Never had he looked so dead inside.

"Peeta-"

"Finnick he doesn't want to talk!" Jo shouted from the door way. "Leave him be." She went to him and remember Katniss's parting words to her before Baghdad. "Just give him a break." She rubbed his hunched back. She meant something to each of them she was her best friend, "Just give him a break... please." She said this so softly that the only person who could hear her, was a person she did not believe in.

But it was also the one person she wanted to hear her, god, the god she did not believe in but she needed help. In times of need, as I have said before, we turn to one of three things.

She now chose faith, she needed help from a higher being. Help she herself could not provide. Love now had to be enough, and to say anything less would be an understatement.

* * *

_Whoa there... I didn't even think this was going to go where it did... But um... Hey! What is happening? I'm pretty proud of all that lovely plot-y goodness in there, I hope you all enjoyed it. See you next Wednesday and as always Stay lovely!_


	19. Chapter 19

_Ten thousand views... Mother of god! Fifty mother freaking views. Over forty favorites... I love you guys so fucking much... _

_Also a reviewer by the user name 'forever everlark' you asked me to PM you but fan fiction sucks and wont give me a link to do so. If you would be so kind as to PM me I will gladly respond to you._

_This chapter is split into two parts from two very different points of view. To show us two very different ideas of our characters. I hope you enjoy them._

* * *

I'm not shocked at all to wake up with no one by my side. He can't always be there for me. I know that, I'm not an idiot. He's got a job to do, I guess I have mine as well.

Standing proved difficult as it has for the past few months. Being pregnant is hard, I don't care how many people tell me it's a miracle, the damned thing kicks and squirms and makes me huge.

I curse the day my husband got me this way. I stumble forward as I have grown accustom to. I look up at the walls of our Seam home as I do every morning, feeling the pang of the damned thing waking up.

I almost glare at my eight month pregnant stomach. "If Gale hadn't had to go and put you in me I wouldn't feel like shit." I mumble.

I waddle, because I have to face the fact that I can't walk like a normal human being, out to the main room of our home.

At least I could say that much, that it was my home. Gale made it nice for us, at least as nice as it could be. I mean seriously it's the Seam. I spot coins on the table, time to buy the bread for reaping day.

Prims last one, she was never really the same after the first reaping. As I feared she grew up, no longer the innocent little girl I once knew. Now she was a beautiful young woman.

Gale was working the mines tonight. I normally hunted but since I got knocked up Gale, my mother, Prim, and practically everyone who I've ever met told me to stop or they'd report me.

That's the thing about being pregnant. I have no freedom, well I mean under the Capitol rule I NEVER had freedom. I only had that taste of it in the dense forest. Not only am I sick, but I'm giant, can't walk properly, Everyone in town watches my every move as if they just know I'm ready to pop.

I've become one of THOSE girls, the kind who have babies. I'll not get a moment of peace once the damned thing is born. But hell I can't get peace now.

Mother claims I'll love it more then life its self when it comes, but call me a skeptic. I hate life anyway.

I dress slowly the damned thing shifting hurts more and more now. I've become less of a person and more like a walking incubator, that Gale treats like his property. You know men like to treat women's vaginas like their property once they've invaded her womb. Ass holes.

I'm sure if he had his way he'd carry it, he's always criticizing everything I do and say. Like he could do better, yeah right.

Well anyway I walk out of the house into the fresh air something I can never get enough of. The only thing I have left of my freedom, the smell of the forest and the cool air surrounding my body.

The walk to town gets longer everyday, or maybe it just feels like it because quite literally everyone watches me as I make my way there. They all watch with weary eyes making sure my water doesn't break on my way to town.

The whole town is skeptical of my every move. I'd flip them off, but there are too many of them to do so effectively.

Town is quite as it always is the last day before reaping. With good reason of course. I see the bakery now come into view.

The little children of the eldest Mellark boy run around in the back of the shop. Not concerned with the matters of the reaping. Even though it took their youngest Uncle and killed him.

Peeta was reaped Prims first year I recall. His death was hard for everyone in twelve to watch. He made it to the final eight.

Cato cut his leg too bad, it was hard because of all the infection spreading. Then on top of that watching his leg swell as the days passed.

His partner was choked blue when Clove lost her weapons. They both died then, clutching one another's necks.

Peeta had mentioned how in love he was with a girl back home, but she didn't know. I guess I feel bad on that account. The poor kid never even said her name. I guess it was better that way, had he said her name she would have been attacked by press.

Maybe even heartbroken.

Walking into the bakery I spot the late Mellark bakery owner. He was quite old now, his sons games aged him far beyond his years.

"Katniss" He smiled warmly, "You don't have any squirrels now right?" He asked with seriousness in his tone.

When I had been five months he'd been the first to scold me. Telling me that he wouldn't buy from me until the thing came out.

"Unless you want this thing" I pointed to my large stomach.

"Everyone can't wait to meet it I'm sure" He said making the usual small talk.

"I still don't get why everyone cares so much." I sigh.

"A baby is a wonderful thing"

"To some I suppose. I just don't get why everyone watches my every move."

"I think its simply because of who you are Katniss."

"What do you mean?"

"People like you."

I roll my eyes at this, "So?"

"My son once told me you have quite an effect on people."

"Yeah maybe some I guess, but I'm not a good person."

"My son would beg to differ."

He always got misty eyed talking about Peeta, it was strange because he always talked to me about him. As if I had some connection to him. We went to school together, big deal.

"And lord knows I'll never know why."

"Really?"

"As long as I live I'll never know."

"That's a real shame." He said this with his head bowed. "Well here's your bread."

"Thank you" I said taking it from his hands, "See you tomorrow" I wave goodbye making my way out into the streets.

I steal another glance at the children in the back yard. Innocent little children, naive and clueless children. Don't know their left from their right.

I look forward and think silently, 'I am sorry Peeta never got to tell his love about his feelings.'

I walk a few blocks feeling the damned thing kick my ribs again. I'm sore all over all the god damned time. It sucks being pregnant, it sucks to be alive, and it sucks to live in a world like we do.

Then it occurs to me that we live our whole lives trying to avoid death when all people are reliable for is in fact death.

We fight hunger and disease so we can accomplish what? Postpone our ultimate annihilation? Because that seems futile all in its self.

Upon getting home I sit down to catch my breath. Another thing to add onto the list of reasons why I hate being pregnant, I can't even walk without getting winded.

This thing is due any day now. I can't decide If I want it out, or not. I hate it being in there and I cannot stand it constantly kicking through out all hours of the day.

But giving birth really freaking scares me. Seriously that sounds gruesome on its own. Let alone actually doing it!

Damn Gale for knocking me up. Damn him for marrying me so we could support both our families.

I get up and cook because what else can I do?

Prim's at school, mother's at work, Hazelle works. I'm not sure if there's ANYONE else.

One more thing, being pregnant makes me a housewife.

The list just grows like the thing inside me.

As usual Gale walks in the moment I've finished cooking. He plants a wet careless kiss on my forehead. "How's the little guy?" He asks me fondly. Rubbing my stomach with a blackened hand. Placing his head on mine he stares at my stomach.

"Still in there" I say. He likes to think it's a boy. He's already planning for the next one much to my... Anger? Maybe a better word would be annoyance.

"Dinner smells good."

"I would hope so." I shrug him off.

"I love your whacked out hormones." He chuckles caressing the thing fondly, I roll my eyes, "And when you're pissed."

"That makes one of us." I say, "Hand me a bowel, I'll serve you up."

"Why don't you sit down Catnip? You look tired" He rubs my back soothingly.

"You try carrying around thirty extra pounds concentrated to one area of your body." I say now beginning to think I'm trying to start a fight. That's the time I feel loved. When we fight and afterwards we stay silent in bed holding hands talking about the old days.

Like, I don't know, when I wasn't carrying around his offspring.

"Go on Catnip I know your worried about Prim, and it can't be good for the baby." He says this in an almost contradictory way.

I roll my eyes but take a seat anyway because the damned thing makes standing for prolonged periods of time a hell.

He smiles at me and it makes me feel awkward. How happy he is about this thing. I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that it's his damned pride. His legacy living on and blah blah blah.

Who even cares? I ask myself this a lot, who even cares about our legacy living on. We haven't done anything great or worth while.

Why does my legacy matter. We eat together him talking about the crib he built for it, about the names he's got lined up.

I let him talk, he knows better than anyone how much I don't want this thing growing inside me.

Standing up proves more difficult than sitting down. He has to give me a hand and laughs at how vulnerable I am. I know he relishes in taking care of me. Men and their god damned testosterone, thinking women always need protection from everything.

This is his dream, not mine.

He kisses me before we go to bed that night. His hand placed firmly over my stomach my hand on top of his.

Was this all I had worked for? All my life lead up to this? Feeling like there's something missing. Like I'm not whole.

Ever since I found out the thing was inside me I've wonder if this was all I was meant to be.

Sleeping is a hassle. This thing moves and squirms more than usual, succeeding in pissing me off.

It's good at that, moving and pissing me off. When I finally sleep I tirelessly do so.

I wake up still cradled in Gales tired fatigue ridden arms. That was one thing I admired about Gale. He could go down to the mines where I couldn't.

The damned thing moves causing pain to my spine which is new pain to me.

Good morning to you too, I groan in my head. As if it could hear me, I don't care if it can or not.

It isn't long before Gale wakes up to help me out of bed. I know just how much he likes watching me hardly walk.

We walk over to mothers where she and Prim are getting ready for the reaping. It was hard for me to even get dressed this morning I have no clue how in hell I'll stand for three hours.

"Katniss" Prim greets me. She looks nice just as I pictured our mother in her apothecary days. Clean and proper. She hugs me but can't get her arms all the way around me. I can't blame her for that.

She laughs petting the thing, firmly believing it's a girl.

"Katniss." Mother walks in. I smile quickly feeling the thing shift ever so painfully.

"It likes hurting me" I say when both of their faces turn grim. "I think it's turning over like Hazelle said it would."

"Are you sure you'll be fine Katniss?" Mother asks fear in her tired blue eyes.

"Yeah I'll be fine mother" I say. We walk to the square together Gale swinging Posy. Hazelle and mother walking very close to me. They're always watching me with weary eyes now that I cant walk like a normal human being.

As I anticipated standing in the crowd is hell. Its hot, and the thing keeps kicking me. More then usual, more then I ever remember.

Gale has one hand place on my lower back, the other holds my sweating hand.

We don't stand very close to the square because they know I shouldn't be around so many people.

People look at me strangely, like they can see I'm just and item of Gale's like I'm a possession. Sadly I see it too, but I have since we were married.

Having his thing just makes it even more so. I'm forever branded as his.

The reaping starts as it always has. Effie standing in a vomitous purple, Haymitch drunkenly crawls his way on stage.

The thing kicks my kidney harder then I've ever felt it kick before. In response I pull my shoulders forward curving my back ever so slightly.

"Catnip?" He asked.

"It can kick like no ones business." I sigh.

"Katniss are you sure it's kicking?" Mother asks.

"Yes, because I'm sure it just ruptured my kidney." I sigh. They've gotten very protective over the past months. I don't think I am able to hate it more.

"Girls first." Effie bounces. The bitch thinking that these games are a good thing. This thing that kills our children. Prims name is not called. She's free, if I were not so stone cold in my expressions I'd cry.

Neither of Gales brothers are called either. He squeezes my hand pleased with our lot. To think that my child will be here some day makes me sick. How dare the Capitol do this to us?

"Katniss!" Prim runs into my arms. She's shaking but then again so am I. The walk back to Hazelle's is gruesome after walking and standing, more walking and standing, I'm exhausted. The thing kicks me without hesitance which pisses me off.

"Katniss honey" Mother says when we get inside. "Can I see you alone really quick?"

I nod and follow her outside to her house not five steps away.

"Can I sit?" I ask breathing heavily from my ten minutes walk. Damn being pregnant.

"Yeah." She says. "Katniss, do you think you're in labor?"

"No" I say surely.

"Really? You didn't feel any different this morning?"

"I feel huge, like I always do."

"Katniss seriously, I've seen women give birth more then you would like to know." I say nothing slightly grossed out at my mother having said those words. "Katniss get on the bed."

"Mother, I'm fine really."

"Katniss, I'm your healer right now."

"Fine" I roll my eyes. If there was ever an awkward moment between my mother and I it was now. This just didn't feel right.

"Katniss,"

"Hmm?"

"You're in labor" She half smiles.

"Damn"

"I'll go get everyone. Today is full of good news" Mother smiled.

The moment she leaves, I curse colorfully. It's a parasite, it's causing me pain, it keeps me up at night, it makes me vulnerable which the worst part of this whole thing. This thing is causing me unnecessary horrible pain.

Why the hell did this have to be so hard? No other animal had this hard a time giving birth!

"Catnip!" Gale swept up to my side kissing my cheek. "We're having a baby!"

"WE! When you're also having a nine pound thing coming out of your dick then it's we! This is all me." Then I clench my teeth together as it kicked my bruised bladder once more.

It kicked my damned bladder so hard I wet myself.

He kisses my hair line again. "You can do it Katniss,"

"I was built to! Of course I can!" I snap through my teeth.

"I know you can Catnip. I'm so happy right now. I know you'll make a great mom."

"That make one of us!" I sharply inhale, "We are never having sex again!" I grip his hand as mother and Prim enter the room.

"Katniss! You're water broke!" Prim squeals in excitement.

"That's simply fantastic." I contradict.

It felt like days had passed, when the sun had finally set on the sweltering hot day. This thing was taking its sweet time to find its way out my birth canal. Not at all funny.

"Why don't we try walking Katniss?" Mother asks taking one of my hands.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Gale asks with a shaky voice.

"No she's trying to kill both me and her grandkid for kicks, Gale!" He said nothing, so he has learned to hush himself.

I take tender steps with Prim, Mother, Gale, and Hazelle watching with intense eyes. All of them afraid for the moment I fall, I may not walk like a normal person but I sure as hell have learned to work with what I was given.

I could quite literally feel my every muscle cramp. Intense pressure over took my lower torso, my body reacts by doubling over making my hands squeeze Mothers and Gales.

"Mother. Am I SUPPOSED to feel like throwing up my organs?"

"No" She said simply.

"My god Gale, I am NEVER doing this again. Do you understand me?! Don't even think about putting another one in me!" I can hear the truth and hate mix together in my tone.

"Is she okay?" He asks with worry in his quivering voice.

"I think it's time." Mother says excitedly. "Are you ready Katniss?"

"I've been ready for the past six hours!" I cringe again. Mother tries to soothe me as she leads me to the bed.

"Mother!" I sit upright. My legs bent as we share another awkward encounter.

"It's time to push Katniss. Prim bring everything in here!" Mother leaves Gale and I alone for a moment.

"We're going to be parents" He smiles his hand supporting my lower back. His other hand held in a griped-lock by my own, pain becoming extremely difficult to keep in check.

I refuse to scream or cry though, I simple won't.

Hazelle walks in front of mother and Prim. The three of them prepare for the thing to be born. I lay there bolting upright when the pain sends me flying.

Gale sits by me his smile shaky and his hand on my back drips with sweat.

"Katniss the next time a contraction comes push okay?" I nod rapidly at my mothers words. Gale kisses my sweating hairline.

"Okay you've got this, Catnip" He encourages profusely.

"Shut up!" I'd hit him if this god damned thing weren't making every move excruciating. I know the thing growing inside me is very close to being born and growing outside of me.

I'm scared for a second before pain becomes dominate in my situation. I again shoot up in agony everyone reassuring me telling me to keep going. As if I have a choice to just stop?

"Katniss just one more." Mother assures me.

"Oh thank god" I sigh before acting upon the pain once more. In a matter of moments cries of an infant fill the room.

"It's a boy!" Mother says excitedly. I feel Gales blood deprived hand leave mine. They all leave the room probably wanting to give me peace.

I still feel pain crawling around inside me. Mother told me that it was the after birth. Well I mean she told me a few months ago.

I sit up sore everywhere. I curl over myself like mother taught me. I rock back and forth edging away what seems to be increasing pain.

I open my eyes to see red, blood stained sheets.

I gasp, suddenly the aching pain transformed to unadulterated torture. "Mother?" I moan quietly. I know all to well she did not hear me.

I remember her telling me to push during the after birth to make it easier on my body. I act upon instinct gripping my ankles to keep my hands occupied.

It doesn't fade, so I push again. On my fourth push I open my eyes almost screaming at the sight.

I see a tiny head, smaller then the first child. "Mother?" I ask cautiously with no answer.

I push again, now laying my hands under the baby.

I finally get the child out and fall onto my back. I gasp for breath with a baby girl laying on my now much smaller stomach.

"MOTHER!" I shout over the little ones tears.

"Katniss? What's-" She opens the door and her eyes grow. "Oh my god!" She shouts running to me.

"It's a girl" I hand her the child tenderly, Hazelle, Gale, and Prim reenter the room. Prim holds the boy in her arms.

"There was another baby!" Mother says. Gales eyes couldn't have been bigger.

"How many have you got in there?" He asks, believing I couldn't hear him.

"Hazelle slap him for me" I say watching my chest rise and fall to reassure myself that I am in fact still alive.

Prim is no longer holding the little boy. She walks to my bedside, she takes my hand a cries.

"Kat, please if you can hear me. Wake up."

"Prim I'm right here" I say.

"Please for me. For the baby, Kat we saved the baby just please wake up."

"I'm awake Primrose look at me."

"Peeta would be devastated to find out you were like this. Please Kat we need you. Peony and Leif asked me if you were dead. You can't be dead Kat. Please, please wake up.

"There could be worse things then having a baby Kat. Please. You've saved me all your life I need to save you."

I reach up to hold my sisters neck but I can't move any more. My arms stay where they are. My legs straighten out and everything becomes white.

* * *

"Mom!" Eric rolls his eyes. My little twelve year old boy. He doesn't look anything like either Finnick or I.

Genes are weird, but back to the main point. Today is my baby boys first reaping. My innocent child, he may be reaped. Though Finnick thinks they'll wait for his body to... Mature.

Our child is tall and thin right now. Hardly anything for the Capitol... Oh god I can't think of that!

I can't imagine my son being used by those sick Capitol bastards.

They'll take my child and...

"Mom? You spaced out again... Don't cry mom." He rubbed my arm like I always loved.

"I won't sweetie" I kiss his head.

"dad says we don't have to be there yet." He told me, I could still see fear behind his eyes.

"I know baby." I say bringing him to my chest. "But we have to go."

"But you hate it too mom"

"I know." I took his hand and walked to the square decorated for the event. By decorate of course I really mean morbidly so.

I walk on stage, leaving my little boy in line. I take my seat next to Finnick.

He doesn't look at me. He instead keeps his gaze forward. We both have the same fear.

Afraid our son will be reaped.

The heavy tension between us is unbearable. I can tell he's doubtful of our son would live in the arena at his age.

I'm his mother, I can't watch my son die before he even has a chance.

I love my little boy. He can't be here yet. He's too young, twelve is too young to send my baby to a game where they kill children.

He is a child, he's only a child. I only felt his first kick yesterday it seems. When he was safe from harm inside me.

The years flew by too fast. I never wanted him to grow up. I loved it when he would suck on his thumb and when he crawled to the stairs but never dared go over the edge.

I missed the entire beginning. A girl of eighteen makes her way on to the stage.

My heart races now as emptiness spreads through my mind. This is out of my hands.

As I should have guessed his name is called. He looks at me without fear.

'Don't cry mom' he mouths making his way to the stage.

Don't cry, I tell myself. Don't cry, don't cry. I don't cry. I faint instead surrounded by darkness and unending pain.

* * *

_Yeah morphine dreams can be fucked up... My sister when she had her surgery she had a dream she was kidnapped by a clan of dragons! My mom dreamed that her dad didn't die and how different her life would be if he were still here. That's what I based these on. I promise on Monday I should have a chapter. Thank god for long weekends! Thanks for reading, stay lovely!_


	20. Chapter 20

_Alright y'all seemed a bit confused with the last chapter but here al shall be explained! _

* * *

If one could say every feeling they ever had then the world would be one of two places. Either dark with pain and destruction more words spat out in cold unfeeling ways. Or a better kinder world where every opinion is considered. But come on who are we kidding it's the first.

Katniss knew this to be a fact. Knowing all to well something's needed to be a secret. If we went on blabbing all the time we would have no friends, only enemies.

Katniss had always wanted to keep to herself. She hid things from herself even. When she had found love through Peeta she realized true friends can see through your thick coat of falseness.

But now Katniss had a secret.

Katniss opened her eyes wearily. "KAT!" Prim squealed hugging her sister. "I could just about kill you for all the stress you've given me!" Prim scolded.

"What happened?" She asked in a tired voice.

"What happened!? What happened!? You've been in a coma for the past week, do you know how scared I was? They had to do surgery to get your appendix out."

"My appendix?"

"Yeah turns out who ever hit you ruptured your appendix."

"Oh... What does that mean?"

"The baby's still there" She smiled at her sister.

"Baby?... Oh! The baby, right." Katniss said finally remembering the battle that took place. "Did we win?"

"Yes ma'am" Prim grinned "No one died on our side." She squeezed Katniss's hand.

"Peeta..." Katniss said still concerned with the degree of reality of her dream.

"We don't have connections with the other districts Kat. They completely destroyed the phone lines."

"Oh..."

"Peony and Leif are in the daycare, I'll go get them-"

"Isn't Peony at school?"

"They shut down the school since the attack."

"Why?"

"Teachers and parents were wounded, they need recovery time." Prim said this exiting the room. Katniss looked down at her stomach.

"Well I'll be damned." She said slipping her hand under the fabric to her child. "There's just no getting rid of you... Thank you" She whispered the last part tears falling down her face. "Thank you"

"Mrs. Mellark-" She looked up and saw a doctor standing in the door way. "I-, I can come back later if you like."

"What do you need?"

"Just a quick check up." He said quietly.

"Alright." She said allowing him to examine her.

"Mrs. Mellark, you seem to be in exceptional health considering you just woke up from a coma. I think it's safe to let you leave in the next two, to three days."

"Two, to three? Lat time it was three hours and I was out for ten months then!" She said this half jokingly half realistically.

"Well, you were at war then." He says nervously.

"Mama!" Leif reaches out his arms struggling against Prims arms. Peony leapt onto the bed and clung to her mother.

"Hi baby." Katniss whispered to her crying daughter. "Don't cry I'm here" She smoothed down her daughters hair, kissing her temples.

Prim set Leif down on the bed and he stood to grip his mother. 'These are my children.' she thought to herself, 'All three of them.'

She didn't cry but wanted to. She needed her children now. The third was no longer something so difficult or a challenge to overcome. She needed it, maybe now more than ever before. She needed to know she was sane and safe.

Though nether of those things can really efficiently describe anyone person.

In two days time she was released from the hospital. Prim put Katniss on strict bed rest for the rest of the month.

But of course our main character did not follow orders.

Katniss woke at eight one day late in the month of May.

Upon waking up, she found herself alone. She looked curiously around, Prim was probably downstairs. The children were probably still asleep so Katniss feeling her memories sink back into her mind laid her hands across her child.  
The dreams she had when in a coma still shook her to the bone.  
She breathed deeply avoiding tears that were threatening to crawl down her cheeks "I'm sorry" She whispered, "I love you little one. I do, I really truly do." She traced circles around her still flat stomach, "You're a part of me... I'll try harder I promise."  
The phone rang right next to her and she picked it up.  
"Hello?"  
"Hello, may I please speak with Katniss Mellark?"  
"This is she"  
"Ah hello Katniss, I'm calling on behalf of my patient Mrs. O'dair. She requests to speak with you."  
"Umm..."  
"Katniss?"  
"Annie?"  
"I know you tried to kill your baby."

"Annie?"

"Katniss..."

"Annie!? Give the phone to your doctor Annie"

"Hello?"

"Can you get her on a web chat?"

"Yes...?"

"I'll be on in five seconds" She hung up, running out of bed and down the stairs.

"Kat, what are you doing?" Prim scolded from the kitchen but Katniss did not listen. She ran into the study and locked the door behind her. Moving Peeta's art supplies out of the way so she could get on the video chat with Annie.

"Kat! What are you doing?"

"Nothing Prim give me a half an hour." Katniss called back.

""Kat-"

"I'm fine!" She shouted lowering the volume on the computer. She heard Prim walk away wearily.

The computer rang and she picked up the call. "Annie?" She asked watching the light adjust. The reception was still bad and district twelve only had reception in the districts.

"Katniss?"

"Annie what are you doing in the hospital?"

"... No good reason. Katniss did you lose the baby?"

"No Annie, I'm fine." Annie sighed and seemed like she would cry. "What about you Annie? Are you okay? why are you in the hospital? Does Finnick know?"

"No Finnick doesn't know and he isn't allowed to know" Annie said with tears streaming down her face.

"Are you alone?"

"There are no doctors if that's what you mean."

"That is what I mean." Katniss nodded. "Why are you in the hospital?" Annie said nothing, "Annie, you can't just call me like that and not tell me."

"No good reason, I told you that." Katniss sighed at Annie's words, "Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you want your baby?"

"I do want my baby Annie"

"No, you don't"

"Now I do."

"Why?"

"... I thought it was the worst thing that could happen" Katniss admitted out loud.

"What?"

"I thought... Having another baby would be the worst thing that could have happened." Katniss's voice grew small as she remembered her dream. "But now..."

"Katniss?"

"Can you keep a secret for me?"

"Yes"

"It's the biggest secret I have ever had. I need you to promise me you'll never tell a soul."

"I promise."

"Annie... They had to do surgery on me after the battle here in twelve... And I had a dream that showed me how much worse everything could be. Because of one little thing being changed. I finally found out my biggest fear Annie.

"I'm afraid of the past. I know how bad and stupid that sounds but it's true. I'm scared of who I used to be. How I used to think. I'm scared of what I used to wish for." Now Katniss was crying.

"What happened?"

"I had a dream Prim wasn't reaped." Katniss said in a low tone. "And it was the most terrifying world I have ever seen."

"Katniss,"

"I want this baby Annie, I want it. I've seen how much worse my life could have been and I'm so much happier now. I don't want to lose it."

"I understand" Annie smiled through her tears.

"I'm sorry I ever wanted to get rid of it."

"Katniss, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes I can" Katniss nodded.

"I'm here because I had a mental breakdown..." Katniss remained attentive to her friend. "After I found out you might miscarry. I started to remember... When I... Did."

"You?"

"I found out two weeks before I learned I'd become a mentor. I tried to tell myself a baby would be wonderful. But I couldn't, I could just say things that weren't true.

"I never told Finnick about it. No one ever knew but me. When I lost it, I felt relief. But I told myself that I wasn't allowed to feel that. It was awful enough to lose it, how could I feel good or right in losing it?"

"Because-"

"You can't just be happy your baby died. Right? How could you even want to kill it?"

"Annie, it's because you love it."

"I don't follow."

"You were relieved your baby didn't have to see a world where children are thrown into an arena to die and kill. You loved it, so you didn't want it to live like you did Annie."

Annie looked at her friend, "You've done a lot of think lately haven't you?"

"Yeah." Katniss nodded.

"I'm getting released tomorrow."

"That's good."

"Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for staying sane"

"It was hard." Katniss laughed.

"Everyone needs sanity sometimes."

"I wish I had it more often."

"Hey, appreciate what you've got!" Annie rolled her eyes playfully. "I've got to go. Check up." Annie sighed.

"Got to go, little sister." Katniss smiled, "By Annie. Talk to you later"

"Okay." Katniss shut off the computer and turned around.

She hadn't been in Peeta's art room very often. Normally she had no reason. There were canvases with sheets draped over them.

Feeling adventurous she went over to investigate. Lifting the white sheet off one pile she found ten canvases stacked face down.

She took a seat and lifted the first one. It hadn't been touched in years. The paint still bright though.

It was of Katniss, holding Peony for the first time. She saw the baby with silver eyes and dark tufts of hair in the half lit room.

It was prettier then she remembered. Of course she had given birth that day and didn't expect to look pretty.

The next was again of Katniss, holding Peony above her head kissing the giggling infant. She remembered that day, they had gone to the meadow with Peony in April. Peony was only a month old at that point. She had crawled around through the flowers and almost got stung by a bee.

The next was of Katniss giving Peony a bath for the first time.

The rest of the stack was of Katniss sleeping with Peony on her chest. Or of the time she had taken Peony to the lake when she was four months old.

Katniss set up the paintings all around the room because she thought they were beautiful. She wondered how he had managed to make her pretty, how he had captured the exact moment.

She went to the second of seven remaining stacks. This one only had five paintings. They were the ones he had done when they returned to twelve. Images of the rainy cave, the paintings of the sun rise they had watched together, their lips gliding together, and even her bow and arrows.

She was simply happy he hadn't painted anything they couldn't handle.

He made the prison cell of the cave a beautiful place.

She recovered these before moving on to a fairly small stack that contained three canvases.

These three were darker, in a sense they sent chills down her spine. They were paintings he had made as part of his recover in thirteen when she wasn't there with him.

The was one of him sitting on his bed, his hands cupped his face, unruly hair flowed over his hands. The painting was in black and white, the hospital bed looked as uncomfortable as they really are.

The next was the night they had conceived Peony. Him on his knees pulling her closer to him, the couch just as white and plush as she remembered it. The painting gave an air of sad remembrance.

The last of this stack was a picture Katniss had to grip in order to not throw it at the wall. It was her, laying in a colorful field she was not in color. She laid in black and white. Dead.

She placed these three pictures face down and replaced the cover before moving on to the next stack.

This stack contained two paintings. Both appeared to be from the victory tour. The first was the yellow flower they had seen. When they had gotten off the train during a pit stop. When she promised to love him in time, as dusk fell clumsily into night. She remembered him asking if she had meant it seriously their first night home.

_"You know me so well why don't you tell me?" _She had asked in all seriousness.

_"... I'm not sure." _He had said sheepishly.

_"I want to try this." _She had told him firmly. His smiled had been sweet and goofy like she had never seen before.

The second was a Mockingjay supposedly singing Rues song. Katniss smiled at it sincerely, she felt the dried paint before laying those two out as well.

The next pile held six paintings. Practice paintings of bread in baskets, fruits, the sunrise. But the last of them was different. It was Katniss in the bakery with Peeta. From the looks of it they were supposed to be baking but were instead throwing ingredients at one another. Namely flour.

Katniss put these out as well. Moving on to the sixth pile she found eight canvases. The first image was of Jo and Gale's wedding. Jo looked beautiful that day she really did.

The second was of Peony, Fin, and Lily playing together. The third was both Katniss, and Peeta sleeping, his hand resting on her flat stomach.

The fourth was the day Katniss had stood in front of the mirror complaining at how big she had gotten. The fifth was Peeta kissing Leif when he had first moved inside her. The sixth was of Katniss and Jo in the Capitol the day of the remembrance ceremony. The candles floating on the lake and the two women crying.

The seventh was of Katniss holding Peony when they had returned home from the meeting.

The last one was of both Leif and Hunter side by side laughing. The two boys all dressed up for their first winter and laughing at everything they saw.

Katniss put these up as well. She felt he really needed to be more proud of his work.

The last stack was six canvases high. The first of Peony and Leif on their first Christmas. The second of them playing together running through a sprinkler. The third was When Leif crawled for the first time. The fourth of Peony attempting to teach him leap frog and failing hilariously.

The fifth was their departure to the headquarters two years ago. And the last was a picture that had yet to happen. A picture of Katniss holding their third child, Peony and Leif around her.

Katniss smiled down at it setting the paintings up around the room. She thought back to her dream, her fear was irrational. Who fears their past?

It was something that was not happening. It was something nothing could change. Something she was happy she couldn't change. She had a future the most valuable thing in her possession.

She stood up and left the study and closed the door behind her. "Kat?" Prim called from the kitchen.

Katniss walked into the kitchen where Leif jumped into her arms. "Morning Sweetie" She kissed his cheeks.

"Mommy!"

"Morning Princess." She took her daughters hand.

"Bed" Prim said to Katniss.

"Children" Katniss retaliated.

"Mommy what are we doing today?"

"I was thinking we could go to the lake today. Would you like that princess?"

"Yes!"

"What about you Leif?"

"Yeah!"

"Katniss, you're still on bed rest." Prim scolded.

"Auntie Prim got mad at me" Katniss whispered to Peony and Leif making them giggle.

"Kat,"

"Prim, I think if I was going to miscarry it would happened about three weeks ago." Katniss rolled her eyes playfully. "It's summer now. I think it would be nice to get out of the house."

Prim gave her a disapproving look.

"Mommy are we gonna swim?"

"Yeah we can teach Leif how to. Go on upstairs and get your swim clothes on princess" Katniss kissed her daughter so she could leave. "Come on Leif lets go get your swim trunks on." She took him dressed him and changed herself.

Peony bounced down the stairs in her pink butterfly cover up. "I'm going to the hospital Kat" Prim said exiting the house.

"See you at dinner" Katniss called out. Prim was clearly angry with Katniss, she shrugged her shoulders putting Leif's sunscreen on.

"Mommy, when're we gonna go?"

"In a minute sweetheart." Katniss said before picking Leif up. "Do you want to walk princess?"

"Yes!" She declared with a smile.

"Alright take my hand baby." Katniss took the child's hand. She noticed how much bigger Peony had grown over the years. How she didn't look much like the baby she had held in meadow. She almost couldn't believe she had read to her everyday she was pregnant with her.

Maybe another baby was just what the family needed.

They reached the lake just after one. Leif and Peony splashed around in the shallow waters gaily, Peony trying to play mermaids and Leif trying to stay afloat.

Katniss pulled the little boy out of the water and wrapped him in a towel. "My sweet baby boy." She cooed spinning him around.

"Mama!" He giggled, "Down!" She put him down on the blanket they laid out.

"Peony come on in!" Katniss called. The little girl ran back to shore running into her mothers arms so she could also be wrapped in a towel. Katniss looked up from her daughters embrace and saw a figure walking near them.

"Peony go sit with your brother." She said pushing the little girl towards the boy.

"Mommy?"

"Sit down Peony." She said getting up and walking closer to the figure. "Hallo?" She called. "Who are you?"

"Y-You... Speak, English?" A trembling voice asked.

"Yes." She replied. Now she saw a young boy. "Who are you?"

"Are you from that village in the east?"

Katniss looked where he pointed. "Yes"

"Kill me." Now she saw the young boy much closer. He worn the blue black uniforms of the Kingdoms he was shorter than her. His eyes were deep green in contrast to his light blonde hair. "Please."

* * *

_Stay lovely!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hey guys! Over sixty reviews, and over eleven thousand reads. *Explodes*_

* * *

"Kill me, Please" The boy said fighting against tears.

"What's your name?" Katniss took a step closer.

"Please I've disrespected the Kingdoms."

"How?"

"...I ran away."

"How old are you?"

"Ten" He swallowed his emotions.

"You're not supposed to enlist until your fifteen."

"They changed enlistment age last year. Ten is the minimum." He was dirty and looked pained to still be living.

"Did you come here during the invasion?"

"Yes"

"Where are you from?"

"The Kingdoms United in Might"

"What village I mean?"

"..."

"Alright, you don't have to tell me." She said taking a step closer to him. "What's your name?" She asked again.

"... Bram" He hesitated.

"Bram, can you please come with me?"

"Just kill me please. I'd do it myself but the only thing more disrespectful than being a runaway is suicide."

"My children are here, Bram, please come with me."

"You're a mother?" He narrowed his eyes as if he did not believe her.

"Yes. Please come with me Bram."

"But, I've disrespected the Kingdoms."

"You're not in the kingdoms Bram."

"But they said Oceania was occupying one of our towns. That we had to get it back."

"No Bram. This is district twelve."

"We attacked the districts!?"

"Yes."

"But..."

"Please come with me." She pleaded with him hoping to get him to a safer place than he was used to.

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Nothing. I'm going to take you to the hospital to make sure you're alright."

"No... Those places are hell. They took my little brother because he was sick and he never came back." He began to cower away in fear.

"That was back in the Kingdoms Bram. I can help you. It's different here"

"You send children my age to die!"

"Not anymore. Please Bram, trust me." Reluctantly he nodded. "Peony, Leif come on let's go home." Katniss called behind her. She walked with Bram to the blanket she had set up for her children.

She packed up quickly. "Mommy what are we doing?"

"We're going home princess." She picked up Leif and began to walk through the woods. The four of them made it swiftly out of the woods and over to the hospital.

"Excuse me," Katniss went to the front desk. Bram stood next to her. "Can we by any chance have someone quickly look over him?"

"I'll page someone." The nurse nodded half heartedly.

"Thank you" Katniss said taking a seat with Leif still shivering in her arms. "You cold buddy?" He nodded. She bounced him a little hoping to warm him. "Bram?"

He looked at her his green eyes filled with dread. "You're safe here. You know that right?"

He shook his head to answer no.

"As long as I'm here you're safe. Okay?" He did not answer her.

"Katniss!" Prim ran into the waiting room, "I told you that it was a bad idea! Come on I'll get you started on an IV" Prim lifted Katniss from the chair and attempted to leave the room.

"No Prim I'm fine, I'm not here for me." Katniss wrangled out of her sisters grip.

"Why are you here then? Is something wrong with Leif? Or Peony?"

"No." Katniss placed Leif on the floor. "Prim this is Bram." Katniss took hold of the boy's arm. "Bram this is my sister Prim she'll take good care of you."

"Bram, where did you come from?" Prim asked wearily.

"..."

"I'll ask questions later than" She breathed out. "Come with me. Katniss do me a favor and go home."

"Yes ma'am" Katniss rolled her eyes. She watched Prim lead Bram out of the waiting room. "Come on." She lifted Leif into her arms. "Lets make Auntie Prim happy." Katniss took Peony's hand.

"You're shaking sweetie." Katniss kissed Leif's head.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look it's those people with the cameras" Peony squeezed her mother's hand.

Katniss didn't look. "Come on princess lets cross the street." She whisked her daughter across the street and down a crowded road.

After a while of avoiding the press the three made it home. "Princess why don't you go ahead and take a bath?"

"Okay mommy" Peony sped up the stairs.

"Come on Leif lets change-" She was interrupted by the phone ringing. "Hello?"

"Catnip. It's me Gale."

"Hey Gale, what's up?"

"Haven't you heard? It's all over the news!"

"What is?"

"The kingdoms attacked headquarters."

"What?"

"It's under siege as we speak. They're doing twenty-four hour coverage on it."

"Gale I only have availability through out the districts." Katniss shifted Leif in her arms.

"Well Fuck Catnip."

"Gale!"

"What?"

"Leif is right next to the phone"

"Oh..."

"Leif you want to say hi to uncle Gale?" The little boy didn't say anything but snuggled further into his mothers chest. "What's wrong baby?" He blinked slowly.

"Gale I think I have a sick child to take care of I'll call you later."

"Alright Bye Catnip."

"Bye." She hung up the phone and stroked Leif's back. "Leif are you tired?" He nodded. "Lets go up stairs Leif."

She took him upstairs and looked at the clock. "It's six." She sighed. She changed him into his pajamas and sat in the rocking chair.

She cradled him looking into his tired eyes. She almost cried he looked so defeated in this state.

He didn't know his father was fighting for his life. And yet here he was tired, and sick.

"My sweet baby boy." She whispered, "My little boy."

She hummed a soft tune to her little boy before he fell asleep. She laid him down in his bed and turned off all the lights before leaving.

"Mommy!"

"Shh, princess you're brother's trying to sleep."

"Okay mommy" Peony whispered. "Mommy the TV turned on by its self."

"Leave it be princess." Katniss got down on her knees. "What do you want to do?"

"I wanna... Eat"

"Lets go down stairs then." Katniss picked Peony up. "You're getting so big princess." She said climbing down the stairs.

She placed her daughter on the ground when she reached the kitchen.

"Mommy, can we have samiches?"

"Yes princess." Katniss smiled. There was a knock on the door but Katniss ignored it. The phone rang and again Katniss ignored it until she had made Peony's dinner.

"Hello?" She answered the phone.

"Kat? It's Prim I don't know when I'll be home, but I'm sending Bram over right now."

"What? Why?"

"No time to explain. I've got to go."

"Primrose!" But she hung up before she could utter another word. There was more banging at the door. Katniss opened it and instead of seeing Bram she saw a flood of reporters standing at her door. Spouting questions and words that made no sense. She closed the door and locked it.

She heard Leif crying up stairs, so she forced her legs into motion.

"Shh, mommy's here Leif." Katniss reached his room. She hadn't been gone for an hour and yet he looked worse. Flushed cheeks and warm skin to the touch. "Come on sweet boy." She picked him up and paced the room. She tried to soothe him back to sleep but she could only hush his cries.

She heard the banging on the door intensify. She kept Leif in her arms tightly.

She walked down the stairs and took Peony's hand.

"Mommy, why won't they leave us alone?" Peony asked.

"Because honey, mommy and daddy are very important people right now." She walked the little girl up the stairs. "Lets brush our teeth okay?"

"But mommy, it's only seven o'clock."

"I know princess but once I get Leif settled into bed then I can read you a story."

"Okay." The little girl nodded. Katniss left her daughter to go to Leif's room.

"Are you cold sweetie?" The little boy nodded. "Okay." She placed him in the crib and grabbed his winter blanket laying it over him. She tucked him back into bed and left his faded blue elephant next to him.

"Goodnight Leif" She kissed his head and left the dark room.

"Mommy." Peony smiled when her mother reached her room.

"Hi princess." Katniss sat down on the girls bed. She bounded onto her mothers legs. "What story do you want me to tell you?"

"Any story!"

"... Come with me sweetheart," Katniss said standing up. She led the little girl to Peeta's art room.

"Mommy, what is this?" She asked looking intently at each of the paintings.

"This is where daddy paints." She took a seat and Peony climbed on her mother's lap. "I have a new story to tell you that these paintings reminded me of.

"Once upon a time. There was a little girl-"

"Mommy is this the same one daddy tells about the girl who could make the birds stop singing?"

"No princess." Katniss chuckled, "Let me get it started. So once upon a time there was a little girl who lived in a very poor village.

"But she, her little sister, and their parents were very happy. Until one day when they found out their father had died. The family was heart-broken. None so heartbroken as the mother. She had lost the love of her life that day.

"The little girl began to fear her sister and mother might starve. So she went out in search of food. She had no luck in this and became very upset, afraid her family may not survive the winter.

"But just as she was about to give up a boy with blue eyes and beautiful blond hair showed up and threw her burnt bread. Not many people would understand the importance of this bread but she more than understood.

"Her family survived the winter and the little girl learned to hunt for her family. All because of that little boy."

"Do they fall in love? Do they live happily ever after?"

"When you're older I'll tell you the rest of the story."

"Aw mommy."

"Here Princess, let me show you one painting that reminded me of that story." She went over and picked up the one painting of bread sitting in the rain. "Princess, that little boy and girl were your father and I at one point in our lives. And though there is more to our story we are living happily ever after."

Peony touched the painting with her finger tips. "It's pretty mommy."

"Yes it is."

"Mommy are you going to re-open the bakery? Because All of the workers went off to war. Now we just get bread off the trains but it's not the same."

"I think I may Princess." Katniss smiled.

"Mommy, I love you."

"I love you to princess."

"I wish daddy was here."

"Me to Princess."

"I miss uncle Gale and Uncle Finnick."

"I know."

"I wanna visit them."

"I do too but that's dangerous right now."

"Mommy,"

"Yes?"

"Why did you help that person today? Wasn't he from the bad place?"

"Just because someone comes from a bad place doesn't mean they're a bad person, Peony. Don't ever forget that. Some of the nicest people I've met, I only got to meet because of a bad place."

"Really? Like who?"

"You're Aunt Annie, Uncle Fin, Aunt Johanna, all of those nice men you met a two Christmases ago, and even daddy."

"But I thought daddy threw you the bread when you were little."

"I wouldn't have needed it if it weren't for a bad place. Nor would I have gotten to marry your father without a bad place." Katniss looked up at the clock. "It's eight thirty, time for bed."

"Five more minutes?"

"You've already stayed up thirty minutes past bed time. Auntie Prim might get mad at me if I keep you any longer."

"Okay."

Katniss led her daughter up to her bed room. "Mommy, can you tuck me in like you used to?" Peony asked when she had snuggled under the blankets. She nodded, tucking in her daughter she kissed the little girls head.

"Goodnight."

She closed the little girls door behind her. She made her way to her sons room.

She stopped when she found the door open, Bram stood in the room rocking Leif to sleep.

"Leaves from the vine, Falling so slow. Like fragile, tiny shells drifting in the foam.  
"Little soldier boy, come marching home. And brave soldier boy, comes marching home"

She could hear no quiver in his voice but she could visibly see him shake. She wondered if he was crying. A ten-year old boy enlisted to fight in a war. What kind of society is that?

He laid Leif in his crib. Before whispering, "He reminds me of my little brother."

"Come on" She whispered and he hesitated to join her. "Why did Prim send you here?"

"I-... I wouldn't talk. They scared me."

"I understand."She said closing the door behind her, "Would you tell me about your little brother?"

"... He was three when they decided he was sick."

"Decided?"

"Well decided he was too sick to be cared for by my mother. It wasn't fair, to get my little brother back in a box." His voice did not quiver. But she could see him crying. "I always sang that song for him."

"Would you like to tell me how you got in here?"

"They taught us quite a lot at the academy." He didn't say anything after that.

"Bram, I have a few secrets of my own. I'll show you mine if you tell me yours." He looked at her strangely. "I have some thing to show you" She took him into her living room where the television had turned its self off.

She was semi testing herself with this.

She gave him a quick Hunger Games history lesson before popping her games into the player.

She watched the games only half the time. She watched his face the rest of the time. His emotionless, stone-cold, face. When it finished playing after the victory tour he looked at her.

"So you saved the both of you?"

"Yes, Peeta is now my husband." He nodded, "There's more."

"I'm Jewish." He said immediately "I'm from the most disrespectful place in the Kingdoms. I joined the army because my father died bringing immense honor to our family. If I didn't join the moment I could have joined shame would have over cast any kind of honor we had.

"The Academy was just a fancy name for a surgery ward. They put chips in our arms and programmed our brains. Living in the wild cleared my mind a little bit, but I was still fuzzy in my own thoughts I didn't come back to myself until I saw your son...

"They trained us to starve for days, to go weeks without water. They made us mules carrying things for months on end.

"But it was all a simulation. Only hours had passed. When you were cleared for surgery they made our bones unbreakable and our eyes became theirs. Literally, they controled you as if you were just in some kind of video game"

"How did you get away?"

He scoffed, "There was a glitch that gave me some free will, but my sight was like a television when it can;t get reception. Fuzzy, and in black and white. I could hear my transmitters looking for some signal. But they eventually crapped out.

"When they thought I was dead they took me out of the system. So my eyes were my own again. I could see a fuzzy world." He was crying again. "I lived in a world of darkness the ten months I was with them."

"Bram, they think you're dead?" He nodded, "Then you are free."

He laughed, "What does that even mean... To be free?"

"It means you get to decide who you are."

He sat in silence before speaking again, "What can I call you?"

"Katniss" She smiled.

"Katniss, they taught us the districts were evil. They showed us some of your told us you were barbarians."

"We were once a horrible place. I wish I could say different but it's true. May I finish showing you?" He nodded and she put the victory tour video into the player.

His face was blank again. When the video ended he looked at her. "What happened?"

"There was a rebel force the other victors were working with and they saved everyone but three people. That girl Johanna, the girl I had been fighting, and me." She began to tell him of the rebellion, how they had altered her memory and made her a figure-head for the Capitol.

"So now, we are free." He nodded, "Bram just know that the Kingdoms will get better. The simple fact is that, freedom is not free. It comes at a brutally high cost."

He nodded "Katniss?"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay here?"

"For as long as you need." She stood up. "In the morning we can get you some clothes."

"But I don't have any money."

"I'll pay for it."

"But-"

"Bram, you're only ten years old. How old do you start working?"

"Normally around eight years old where I come from."

She nodded, "Can you bake?" She laughed.

"With a recipe." He said.

"Good, I'll be needing some help." She smiled at him, "I have a room you can use." She led him up the stairs to the last unused room. "It isn't much" She said looking at the bland white room.

"Who will I share with?"

"No one."

"Really?"

"You know I shared a two room house with my family of four for about sixteen years. So I understand." She put her hand on his shoulder, "But yes this is your room for now."

The smile in his eyes said more than enough.

"Good night" She said leaving the room and heading to her own bedroom.

She changed and slipped under the covers. She began to cry the moment she laid her head on her pillow.

She cried because the war was still raging on, because Annie had lost a baby, because her son was sick, because she didn't know where her sister was, because her husband may be fighting right now, because of seeing the horrors of the games again, and because of Bram. Because little boys had to fight a man's war at ten years old.

* * *

The next day Leif was better, the first awake after Katniss and very ready for a new day.

Katniss found Prim asleep on the couch. After making breakfast for everyone (Which really just meant getting cereal into bowels.) She picked up her little sister and carried her to bed.

"Mommy!" Peony bounded up to her, "What are we gonna do today?"

"I was thinking we could go visit the bakery." Katniss smiled. The little girl hopped around the kitchen. "Bram," The boy looked up from his food. "You'll be coming too."

"Yes ma'am" He nodded.

"Katniss." She said to him and he nodded again. She watched Peony run up to her bedroom.

"Mama!" Leif giggled. "Are we taking Auntie Prim?"

"No sweetie we're going to let Auntie Prim sleep." Katniss said picking him up. "You want to go get changed buddy?"

"Yeah" He smiled.

"Bram after we go to the bakery we'll be picking some clothes for you."

"You really don't have to" He mumbled ashamed.

"Bram, think of it as my welcome to the district gift." She used these as her departing words. They all headed out together leaving Prim a note on her night stand.

The four of them walked to the bakery which hadn't been touched in all those two years of the war.

Unlocking the door was a bit difficult as the lock warped slightly. Stepping in it was cold, the air hung heavily with dust.

"Peony take your brother and play in the backyard okay?" The little girl drug her little brother out behind her.

"So this is the Bakery Peeta and I own." Katniss said closing the door, "I'm not much of a baker myself, but I think we can start it back up again." She smiled at Bram. "Let's clean up a bit."

He turned around and smiled at her. "It reminds me of our bakery at home. Only it doesn't smell like cinnamon."

"Well I ordered every ingredient in the recipes here. It should arrive with in the week now that the railways are up again." She said this handing him a broom and wiping down the windows and counters herself. "I'll especially need help now because I'm pregnant."

She looked out the window at her children playing. It reminded her of her dream, seeing the children play in the backyard before reaping.

"Katniss?" She shook herself from her trance.

"Yes?"

"I think there's still flour in this store-room." Bram called.

They cleaned out the store-room and dusted the entire bakery until it was a colder shadow of its former self.

Katniss took him and the children shopping for clothes before they headed home at dusk.

"Prim?" Katniss called out.

"Kat! I'm in the television room." Prim called back.

Katniss went to her little sister. "What's up?" She looked up with cold sad eyes.

"It's an update on the war... Mom's dead."

* * *

_The song I used is called, 'Leaves from the Vine' Yes it's from Avatar the Last Air Bender don't judge me that was my favorite show right after Rugrats... Anyway You have just met a very important character. Alright I posted early because my life hates me and I'll be swamped tomorrow, unfortunately that also means no post this weekend :( But on a better note, Here you go guys, I love you, and as always Stay Lovely!_


	22. Chapter 22

"Mom's dead" The words rang in her ears. The very thought of her mother being gone struck her harder than she thought it would have.

Katniss looked at the television set and then back at Prim who was now crying. Katniss saw pictures of gruesome war flash across the screen before slipping beside her sister.

She brought her sister to her arms. "It'll be okay Prim" She said as Prim slipped her face into Katniss's shoulder.

"Among those wounded were the following individuals." The screen began to flash the faces of people who were rescued from the battlefield. Peeta was one of them and Finnick was right after.

Katniss didn't say anything because Prim didn't lift her head. Katniss muted the television and looked at her baby sister. "Come on little duck." The nick name made Prim chuckle, "Mom's finally getting to be with dad." She soothed though that made Prim sob harder. Katniss began to shush her baby sister and rock her back and forth.

"Our mother's dead... Our mother..."

"I know Prim."

"What are we going to do Kat?"

"We're going to have a nice ceremony for her. We'll invite all her friends before we bury her. We'll put our mother to rest at last Prim."

"But-But-... How can I live without my mother?"

"I don't know. But we'll find a way."

"Our mother..."

"I know." Prim sobbed for a while longer before stifling her tears.

Katniss looked down at her sister before kissing her forehead. "Everything is going to be okay."

Prim only nodded. "I'll be in my room." Prim got off the couch and made her way to the door.

"We brought some food home." Katniss said.

"I'll be in the kitchen and then my room." Katniss wanted to laugh but that didn't quite work out like she had planned. She smiled though.

She let out a breath and looked down at her barely visible stomach and wondered what world this little one would know.

Would the war be over before it could remember? Or would it and it's siblings have no choice but to fight.

Katniss didn't answer herself but she instead stood up from the couch and walked up to the children's play room.

There she found Bram entertaining Peony and Leif. "Mama!" Leif walked over to her, "Mama! Play?"

"Play?" She crouched to his level and questioned him.

"With me?" He finished.

"Yes!" She smiled. She watched the children play feeling an emptiness inside of her. A dull ache in reaction to the death of her mother. The blows of finding out her husband was wounded and so was her friend.

She fed and washed her children before putting them to bed.

"Katniss." Bram whispered when she came out of Leif's room.

"Yes?" She whispered back.

"... Can I show you something?" She nodded and he led her down the stairs and into the living room.

She sat on the couch and he entered a few seconds after her. He looked much thinner in his new clothes but he still was able to pull something out of his shirt. He swiftly walked beside her.

It was an old faded black and white picture of a baby boy a woman and a man. "This is my family." He said softly. "They let us bring a picture of our family to keep with us at all times, so we can have something personal to fight for besides the Kingdoms." His voice was small and defenseless.

"The kingdoms... They aren't all bad. Ma-ma always told me, 'In every evil there is good intent.' Peony told me what you said about me being a good person... From a bad place. But I'm a not so good person from a not so bad place, really."

I have to ask you this question reader, Do you think this is true? Do you think that there was some good to come from a bad place? Just think did anything good come out of Nazi German control? Was there any good to come from the purges of the Soviet Union? Has there ever been a kind person from a run down crime infested area?

I believe that yes there is good in all bad places. I believe this is true but I must inquire... Do you?

"Bram, do you want to frame this?" Katniss asked knowing the only pictures in her Seam home were in frames. The phantom pictures from the past somehow help us move forward into the future.

He clasped it to his chest. And she smiled at him, "You don't have to." She said, "Bram do you trust me?"

"...With my life." He said with little hesitation.

"Thank you." They said nothing more to one another that night. All that needed to be said had been. So the two parted and went to their respective bedrooms. They both cried their own tears as they fell asleep.

When the morning came Katniss and Bram were up early and out the door just as Prim began to wake up.

They made their way to the train station where the ingredients were just arriving, along with other products people had ordered from the Capitol.

Katniss was thankful it looked like it was going to rain because she had taken Peeta's car because of it. Had they walked they would have never gotten all of the ingredients to the bakery.

Upon pulling up shakily to the bakery Bram stepped out giggling.

"What?" She laughed.

"You don't drive often do you?"

She glared playfully "Hush" They took everything inside and pulled out the overstuffed recipe book.

"Well I say we start with these two since they look simple enough." Katniss said pointing to the two recipes.

He looked over her shoulder reading the script. "Okay" He said turning around and gathering ingredients.

"You need me to read out the-"

"No, photographic memory. One more perk of having a chip in your brain." He pointed to his head.

So they began to make an absolute wreck of the kitchen. Flour everywhere, eggshells scattered the floor, and some sticky substances they weren't absolutely sure what they were.

Katniss stepped around all this mess as she took out the freshly baked bread.

"It smells like him." She smiled to herself. "Bram I think that we put these out front right?" She turned around and he wasn't in the kitchen. "Okay, probably washing up" She assured herself she put the fresh rolls out in the front of the store and then realized that no one thought this place was still open.

So instead she walked outside with the basket of bread on her hip and handed out loaves to who ever passed by telling them the bakery would be completely running within the week.

When all the bread had been given out and the drizzle began, Katniss went inside to begin the cleanup starting with herself.

She headed up the stairs to the house portion of the bakery, to find the only door open.

She pushed it a bit further and found that the once living room was now an office space and Bram was looking through the files.

"Katniss... I-" She sat next to him and picked up the folder he held, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been snooping." He said quickly.

"It's alright." Katniss assured. "He's dead." She said looking at the folder, " He was enlisted the first year of the war. He didn't live to see Christmas." She didn't mean to be solemn but she was thinking out loud and it could not be helped.

She looked through the folders organizing the deceased and the living. She knew all these people and was sad she knew how each of them died. The people she had grown up with and the people from other districts seeking an escape from the rebellion.

"Bram," She said when she had thrown away the folders of those who had died. "Bram?" She looked around he poked his head out from behind a door. "Yes?"

"What are you looking at?"

"I didn't know there was a house up here." He said quietly in his customarily small voice.

She stood up and joined him in what seemed to be a small kitchen. "This is where my husband lived before the games." She said.

She looked at him as he stared in awe of it all. She smiled at how impressed he was.

"Katniss,"

"Yes?"

"Does anyone live here anymore?"

"No, no one has for eight years."

"Could I... Maybe live here then?"

She looked down at him with a smile. "Yes you can. But would you like to see the rest of it first?" He nodded with a smile.

After showing him the whole place they went home so he could pack his things.

"I can walk" He insisted once they had finished. The rain still drizzled lightly outside their house. "It won't take but ten minutes, and I'll give you this trunk back tomorrow."

"Keep it and get in the car." She said. He sighed but agreed, he wasn't stubborn and followed orders well. She wondered if that was a product of the chip in his brain or if he had always been that way.

"I think I'm becoming myself again." He said to her, "They changed me in the kingdoms. Programmed everyone in the army to think the same way... And I think I'm becoming myself."

"Did they give you mind reading too?"

"No, but we have high senses to look at body language and heart rates."

"Whoa..." She looked at him again.

"I, can't wait to only feel my own emotions again."

They pulled up to the bakery, "Do you need help?"

"No Katniss, I'm fine." He said gathering his things and walking into the building.

"You're a very brave little boy." She said to herself backing out of the driveway.

* * *

The next day Katniss returned to find Bram had already started working. "Morning" She greeted.

"Morning" he looked up from his sweeping. She looked over and saw baked goods sitting on cooling racks, something was baking in the oven, which smelled heavenly just as Peeta used to make, and kneaded dough was sitting out so it could rise.

"Busy morning." She said, "Did you sleep well?"

He smiled, "I got a full three hours."

"Three?" He nodded.

"These are ready to put out." He nodded to the cooling racks. "And I made this." He put down the broom and walked her up to the office area.

He stood up a chalk board sign which ready 'Open' in nice cursive hand writing. "Well okay I didn't make it, but I did fix it up and clean it. I found some chalk in different colors. I figured we could put it outside."

"Do you even need me?" Katniss laughed.

"I can't man the front of the store." He laughed, "Plus I could use some help cleaning up the kitchen."

She nodded, "May I?" She held her hand out to take the sign and he nodded handing it to her.

She set it up outside and before she knew it people were coming in, buying very little but telling her how happy they were. That they reopened the bakery, that she was back, that she was pregnant, and some gave their condolences for her mother. Best wishes were also given and people said Peeta was in their prayers.

One woman in particular walked into the bakery. She was the wife of a soldier well a fallen soldier. He had worked at the bakery.

"Good afternoon Katniss." Melanie smiled. "I'm so happy you're keeping the bakery." She was running the butcher shop with her older brother and his wife now.

She was a beautiful Shop girl. Perfectly curled blonde hair, and sparkling blue eyes. She was content with her lot in life. She always had been.

Back before the games Melanie had sometimes traded with Katniss. She'd even give her extra money sometimes in the winter when food was scarce.

Melanie had a daughter Exie. Exie was a year younger than Peony and they got along in school well. But Peony got along well with everyone unlike her mother.

"How are you Melanie?"

"I'm good." Melanie had been heartbroken when her husband died. But that had been a year ago and she had healed in time.

"How's Exie?" Katniss asked gathering the bread Melanie had ordered.

"She wants to go back to school." She laughed, "Odd I used to hate school."

"She'll learn" Katniss laughed.

"I heard about Peeta" She said finally. Katniss slipped a cookie into her back.

"Hasn't everyone?" Katniss smiled.

"I'm praying for him. Like I did when you were missing."

"Which time?" Katniss asked.

Melanie laughed, "I always knew Madge was right about you Katniss." Oh that was right. Melanie and Mage had always been the best of friends. Even now while Madge worked in the Capitol. Madge had taken up a job in the Capitol for Economic Rationalities. Which basically meant she worked night and day like a dog.

Her husband was the mayor of Twelve now but he was always traveling to the Capitol leaving their children Ricky and Raylee with their nanny.

Madge was home for a week every month but it was never the same.

"Anyway I've stopped thinking about it because the kids don't know."

"I didn't tell Exie her father was dead at first. I told her he was very sick and about a week later I told her he had died. It was easier for her to know he was hurting and then died rather than to tell her he was suddenly dead." Melanie looked down and Katniss walked around the counter to her.

"He was a great man." Katniss said placing her arm on Melanie's shoulder. "My husband was devastated when he found out."

Melanie wasn't crying but she took a deep breath and nodded. She smiled at Katniss as she took her bag.

"I'm praying for you Katniss." She said again smiling before she left.

Katniss returned behind the counter where many more people entered and left the bakery.

This cycle of running the bakery lasted in a smooth manner for three months.

Katniss spent the early morning with her children and now that Leif was old enough she sent him to preschool while Peony was in her first grade class. Katniss would drop Prim off at the hospital after dropping off the kids, and she would work at the bakery.

At noon she picked up Leif and brought him to the bakery, where he would play in the office, or if it was a nice day in the back yard.

It was a late August day, Leif had turned four earlier in the month with still no word from Peeta, or Finnick.

However no one dwelled too long on this fact. It was Saturday and Katniss was preparing to go to the bakery. She had gotten up earlier that day because she was now five months and it was getting harder for her to do it all.

She was starting to have trouble standing in front of the store for so long and getting behind the counter was also proving difficult.

She had brewed herself a cup of coffee and began to make her way out the door when she heard foot steps pound down the stairs.

Katniss went around the corner and saw Prim standing the kitchen.

"Katniss!" Prim gasped. "What are you doing up?"

"What am I doing up? I have work, why are you up? You aren't scheduled at the hospital on weekends."

"No I'm not... Um... But you don't get there until eight it's seven."

"Prim the baby makes everything harder. It took me twenty minutes to get out of bed. And you're a bad liar. What's up?"

"Nothing, go to work."

"Prim-"

"Are you going to work or not?" Katniss rolled her eyes.

"Tell me when I get home." She sighed.

"Course. Bye" She waved Katniss out the door. Katniss actually didn't have work yet she was finding out the gender of her baby.

She really wanted to keep it secret but she had to know for herself. So she could get clothes for the little one.

She heaved herself out of the car she had gotten better at driving when she reached the hospital.

The baby started kicking her when she was enveloped in the cold air. "Good morning." She smiled down at her stomach. She knew from experience the baby was smaller than it ought to have been.

Leif had been exceptionally big but in the Capitol they had given her growth hormones to ensure Peony grew properly. This baby was smaller and she feared unhealthy.

She greeted her new doctor as he began his examination of her.

He was from the Capitol, it also turned out he was Dr. Schmidt's only son. She could see the striking similarity but said nothing about it.

"Alright Mrs. Mellark let's have a look." He clicked a few buttons and furrowed his brow. "How long did you carry your last child?"

"He was ten weeks premature but my first-born was a few days late."

He nodded, "You're baby is a bit under developed so I'm going to put you on a prescription to get her where we want her at twenty weeks."

"Her?"

"Oh! Sorry yes congratulations you're having a girl." He said with a smile before writing down the prescription.

"Did you go over seas?"

"I spent a term of six months over there, but I've just gotten my title of surgeon a few months prior to leaving. They called me back after the battle here. I'm heading back to the war tomorrow." She nodded, "I think we're done here." He handed her the paper he'd scribbled on. "I'll send the order down to the pharmacy so you can pick it up on your way out."

"Thank you." She said.

"Mrs. Mellark?" He turned around before leaving, "Thank you..." She stared at him with a quizzical expression, "For forgiving my father. He can be at peace now."

She smiled and nodded as he left. She really had forgiven him because he hadn't done anything wrong. He had simply been in a bad situation.

She went to the pharmacy and picked up her prescription. She was instructed to start it right away, so when she got into the car she took one of the large pills with her coffee.

She had decided to bit on a stool at the front of the bakery when no one was there. But today everyone was buying bread for Sunday since they weren't open Sundays.

Katniss spent the whole day on her feet and almost didn't have time to take her new medicine. She felt exhausted as the day dragged on.

She remembered one of the side effects of her new prescription was fatigue. She and Bram spent the entire day selling and restocking the shelves.

She had to stay two hours past closing time in order to get everyone their order and help Bram clean the kitchen.

She looked at the clock when she climbed into the car. "Eleven thirty. Great." She sighed.

When she got home she started up the stairs, "Kat, can you come into the kitchen?" Prim called.

"I'm just going to go to bed Prim."

"It'll only take five minutes"

Katniss sighed and made her way into the kitchen. "What's up Prim?" When she walked in she saw exactly why her baby sister had called her in.

"Kitty Kat!" Jo jumped from her seat and hugged her.

"Jo, Gale... What are you two doing here?"

"Three Hunter's asleep up stairs." Jo pulled away. Katniss's little girl kicked a bit at Katniss's increased heart rate. Jo smiled as she felt the baby, "Hi there."

"Yes baby that's Jo." Katniss said tiredly.

"Katniss when are you going to find out the gender of it?" Prim laughed.

"I found out this morning actually."

"Really?" Prim stood up, "Katniss, is it a boy? I bet it's a boy."

"What are you talking about it's clearly a girl." Jo said.

"It's a boy honey." Gale laughed.

"No it's not."

"I'm going to bed." Katniss said turning around.

"No wait!" Prim stood up.

"Prim I'm exhausted, I'm going to bed."

"But-"

"Prim I've been at work two hours over time walking around and cleaning, my doctor put me on a new prescription. I'm tired." Katniss walked away taking a while to climb the stairs. She didn't even bother to change because the moment she reached her bed room she collapsed on her bed without even pulling up the blankets.

The next morning Katniss got up slowly as usual. She showered and dressed in the only clean thing she had that fit her. That just so happened to be a thin summer dress.

"I'm not going anywhere" She mumbled to herself as she dressed. She took her medicine before heading down the stairs.

"Mommy." Peony jumped out of her seat and ran to her mother.

"Hi princess." She said. Peony bounded back to her breakfast as Katniss's other daughter stirred inside her. Katniss smiled down at her before taking her seat.

"Mama look!" Leif said pointing across the table at Hunter.

"Auntie Katniss." Hunter bounced in his chair.

"Hi sweetie, how are you?" He laughed in response. "Where are you're mommy and daddy?"

"They're upstairs talkin." Just as he said this there was the distinct crashing of suit cases hitting the ground from upstairs.

"Okay." Katniss nodded and smiled at him. "What do you kids want to do today?"

"Can we go see the flowers before their all gone Mama?" Leif asked.

"Sure baby." She said wiping the little boys mouth with a napkin. "Why don't you kids go get ready, huh?" They shuffled out of their seats and Katniss stood following Leif. "Hunter you can borrow some of Leif's clothes alright? I don't want you to disturb your parents."

"Okay" Hunter said. Katniss took the children out to the meadow. It was probably one of the last days all the flowers would be alive.

The breeze was light and the sun was high in the sky. Katniss sat as she watched the children play. At one point Hunter scraped his elbow and Katniss had soothed him until he played again.

"Mommy." Peony sat down next to her mother. "Can I feel the baby?"

"Sure princess." She picked up the girl and sat her on her lap. "Put your hand right here." Katniss placed the little girl's hand right where her little sister was kicking.

"Peony what are you doin?" Leif sat beside his sister.

"I'm feeling the baby Leif" Peony said informing him very astutely.

"The baby?"

"That Auntie Prim said mommy was having."

"You can feel it?"

"Yes baby." Katniss smiled. "Peony you want to let your brother try?" Peony nodded being a good big sister. She picked up Leif and set him on her lap. "Leif put your hand right here."

He giggled as she kicked his hand, "That feels weird mama."

"You know you were inside me once Leif."

"I was?"

"Yeah so was Peony."

"She's too big to fit in there mama."

"Well now she is but she used to be this big." She showed him with her hands.

"Are you fibbing mama?"

"No baby." She kissed his head and rubbed his back. "You'll understand better someday. Hunter! Peony!" She called standing up, "Come on let's go." The two other children ran to her.

She walked them home telling then to hold hands when Hunter nearly ran into the street and Leif stopped a few blocks behind them.

They made it home, upon opening the door she heard a collective cry. "Katniss?" It came from the living room.

"Kids go to the play room okay?"

"Mommy I'm tired." Leif yawned.

"I'll tuck you and Hunter in for your naps when I'm done talking to Your Aunt and Uncle." She kissed his head and sent him upstairs.

"Auntie Katniss?"

"Yes baby?" She took Hunter's hand.

"Can you make mommy and daddy stop fighting?"

"I'll try." She said kissing his head. "Peony be a good big sister and help mommy. Go put your brother and Hunter to bed."

"Okay mommy."

Katniss went into the living room. "I can't be gone for five minutes." Katniss sat down on the couch her hand resting over her baby.

"Kitty Kat where are the kids?" Jo asked clearly afraid for Hunter.

"The boys are getting ready for their nap and Peony's helping them." Jo sighed thankfully.

"Kat you can't just give us a heart attack like that!" Prim sat next to her.

"I'm a grown woman, where did you think I'll go? The war?"

"Maybe to pick up another soldier" Prim joked.

"Another?" Jo asked.

"Long story." Katniss sighed making circles over her stomach. "Prim can you go give Leif his elephant, he can't sleep without it." Katniss handed her baby sisters the toy and she left. "When your son asks me to make you stop fighting something is wrong."

"What?" Gale asked sitting next to Jo.

"Hunter asked me to make you guys stop fighting now tell me what is it this time and please separate." Jo moved to Katniss's other side.

"Don't get me wrong Kitty Kat. I love Hunter but I don't want another baby."

"Jo you haven't given me a real reason as to why you don't want this."

"A real reason!?"

"Okay both of you shut up." Katniss sighed. "Gale you clearly don't understand. Jo was actually fighting the war. I may not know why she's here right now but-"

"I'm the last of the higher ranked officers that was uninjured, they'd rather I stay that way."

Katniss nodded. "She's been fighting a war, Gale, I don't think you understand that."

"I do Catnip. She's missed our child grow up."

"She is more needed to fight a war then to carry your damned kid around all day. God knows that's what I should be doing."

"Kitty Kat-"

"It's true Jo, you know it. I should be fighting helping to end this war, but instead I'm here pregnant and useless."

"You aren't useless." Jo assured her.

Katniss looked at her, "I can't do anything. I've done what? Start up the family bakery again? What does that do?"

"When you first got here Kitty Kat, you fought and won a pretty big battle for us."

Katniss shook her head, "The point is, Gale, please be patient give her time or wait until she wants it too don't be an ass like my husband."

"Kitty Kat please you fought with your husband too."

"Yeah but after the thing was in me already, never did we argue about putting it in me."

"True" Jo chuckled.

"Now look at us, he gets me knocked up and goes missing." The other two were silent and almost felt how pained she was about her husband. Though Katniss didn't acknowledge the extent of her pain, she knew she could cry for days on end. "Now one of you help me up."

Jo took her hand. "Having problems already Catnip?" Gale asked in an affectionate tone.

"You know" Katniss spoke up placing her hand on her back, "I may be five months pregnant but I can still kick your ass into the ground."

"Kitty Kat the baby can hear you" Jo teased.

"Kat, can you come into the study really quick?"

"Coming Prim." Katniss still holding Jo's hand managed to walk into the study.

Prim turned around to face the three of them. Jo squeezed Katniss's hand clearly her and Gale knew about this little surprise. How ever Katniss did not which was probably why she fainted at the very sight.

* * *

_So y'all my daddy is retiring from the military this week therefore my grandparents are coming into town. Mix that with the super bowl and you have a girl with no life who aggressively watches football and a busy week. Sorry if the updates are weird this week but hey when life puts your face with stuff you catch it. Said no one ever. alright by loves and remember Stay lovely! _


	23. Chapter 23

_Guys I'm ecstatic, over 70 reviews... Holy freaking crap._

_I realized whilst writing this I had no clue how many words this had so I looked over 90,000 words and y'all still love me? Well I decided to dedicate this chapter to my first ten followers._

_So thank you __**doomsday2012**__ for being my first follower it means the world to me and awesome username_

_Thank you __nicmel45__ for following in a close second, for following after only one chapter._

_Thank you __**overobsessedfangirl**__ but seriously aren't we all?_

_Thank you __Clato27__ because we all have to admit when Clove died we all shipped her and Cato._

_Thank you __**Katie Lynn-98**__ because we share the middle name Lynn and I was born in 1998 my sister's name just so happens to be Katie and therefore you coincidentally have my life in your name... _

_Thank you __LondonJewel__ for being here with me and reading every time I post, even when it's late at night._

_Thank you __**Love-Da-Mysteries689**__ even though we all know the joke is 789 XD and for of course coming back and reading._

_Thank you __Tink2 __without you I wouldn't know there was a Tink1_

_Thank you __**TwilightxxAngel**__ for telling me you loved it and then gave me a huge smile! :D_

_Thank you __Y.O.L.O so do it right__ because A that's true, B because for some reason I always get dyslexia reading your username and think it's Y.O.L.O you do so right and C because you comment on this story all the time and make my day better_

_**And thank YOU**__ person I haven't mentioned! Because you're awesome and beautiful and that top you're wearing brings out your eyes! Song used here is called Moving on by Sarah Dawn Finner. _

* * *

In Jo's attempt to catch her friend... She dropped her. Katniss didn't so much faint as she did fall over and wake up as she hit the floor.

"Damn." Katniss groaned. Gale lifted her off the floor and laid her on the couch near by. "Prim no more surprises or you will kill me." Katniss snapped.

"And here we were thinking our Lieutenant would love to see us!" Harris cackled, "Our mistake."

"You selfish ass." Katniss laughed, "Where are y'all?" She stood up and walked to the computer.

"Home...Well for us." Gibson said motioning to Owens and Harris.

"Yeah it's been as boring as all hell since you left! You took all the god damned fun." Ryans complained.

"Sorry." She laughed.

"You should be not even so much as call in months!" Evans turned his back.

"But you really missed it Harris fell in love." Owens laughed

"No!"

"Yeah what are you talking about?" Harris inquired, "No one can get all this."

"Really? Not even Amethyst?" Bennet cocked his head to the side.

"Who?" Harris asked slightly blushing but only enough Katniss would notice.

"You are a bad liar." Katniss jeered.

"I'd beg to differ I am a great liar!"

"Yeah sure." She rolled her eyes and the ringer went off. She looked down at the number which the computer did not recognize and then at her boys who knew the caller. "Tell me." She said.

"You're husband." Kevin smiled.

She picked up the call and smiled, "Well morning."

"Actually middle of the night, love." He said with a low laugh.

"Eh, close enough." She assured.

"Prim told me you reopened the Bakery, that's great."

"Everyone seems to think so." She nodded.

"Who's helping you?"

"Oh Katniss I haven't told them about Bram yet." Prim said.

"That's fine Prim I can tell them." Katniss assured though she was unsure whether or not they'd be particularly agreeable to the idea.

After a brief explanation Katniss rubbed her forehead to think of any thing else, "So now he lives in the bakery."

"YOU SHOWED A TEN YEAR OLD YOUR GAMES!" Jo screamed.

"Well I was not expecting that as a reaction." Katniss jumped.

"You're letting and child from the kingdoms live with you?" Gale inquired.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I trust him and he is hardly a child after he told me the things he's seen."

"Does anyone know where he's from?"

"I think so." Katniss thought.

"Kitty Kat!"

"What did you want me to do?"

"Um I don't know tell the Capitol."

"Why? What can they do but badger him about battle plans he doesn't know about."

"He doesn't belong here Catnip."

"He doesn't belong there either. They'd kill him."

"But-"

"No" Katniss said. "I trust him."

"Well if I may say something" Peeta spoke up, "Since, you know, it is my family's bakery. If she trusts him, then so do I."

"Thanks honey," Katniss smiled, "But you should really shave, beards aren't your thing."

He laughed as he felt his stubble. "I'll do that when I come home."

"What?"

"I'll be home by September eighteenth." Katniss smiled at him.

"I can't wait." She said.

"So Katniss, Prim tells me you know the gender of our baby but refuse to tell."

"Maybe." She said. "Any guesses?"

"Girl" All of her regiment said.

"Really?"

"Positive" Johnson nodded.

"Yep too obvious." Gibson laughed.

"Well honey I'll ask you which do you want a boy or a girl?"

"I want both."

"Yeah no." She said.

He laughed, "Every boy needs a brother and ever girl needs a sister."

"I only had a sister and I was fine. You only had brothers-"

"I did have a sister Katniss." He said, "She died her third winter."

"Sister's aren't that great" Katniss said making light of the conversation.

"Hey!" Prim said.

"What you kept me up at night!" She laughed. "I think Bram has taken a major roll as big brother in Leif's life."

"Then I'd like a daughter because I'd really like to have a daddy's girl to be honest." They all laughed at this.

"Katniss" a small familiar voice came from the door way. Bram's green eyes looked down so his blonde hair covered them.

"Bram come on over." She said and he walked towards her. "This is my husband." She pointed to the computer.

"Which one?"

"All of us." Harris answered, "She's a player.

He laughed a little as Katniss pointed to the screen. "This is my old regiment and this is my husband."

"Hi"

"Who you callin old honey?" Ryans asked.

"You" She laughed.

"Katniss I want to give this to you." He handed her a book she did not recognize, "I wrote down everything I could remember from the Kingdoms... I really tried to remember before it all faded away. I finished it this morning."

"When did you start this?"

"After you let me move in over the bakery..." He laughed a bit, "This is why I only got three hours of sleep,"

"You didn't have to do this Bram."

"But you trusted me in your house, and with your children... And I trust you with my life." He hugged her then before speaking again. "Leif and Hunter wanted to go to the bakery so I told them tomorrow... See you tomorrow." And with that he walked away more like a boy should.

He'd turn eleven next month and now every trace of the Kingdoms was gone from his stride to his smile. He was finally himself.

"He's a good kid." Katniss said putting the book on the desk. She looked up at her friends. "Even though he really isn't a kid."

"Those are the worst kind" Owens nodded.

"Daddy!" A little girl ran up to Owens.

"Ariel do you remember Katniss?"

"Katniss? Yeah!" She looked to the screen. Ariel had grown up since Katniss had last seen her. "Auntie Katniss! Angel! Angel! Ben! Katniss is on!" The little girl squirmed out of the mans arms and brought the two to the camera.

"Katniss!"

"Hi." She smiled.

"We've missed you! Daddy says we can visit you some time soon." Angel smiled. The ten year old was all smiles.

"Really?" She asked delighted at the thought of seeing all of them again.

"Yeah" Ben giggled. Ben had shorter darker hair than she had remembered but all the same she smiled. "Katniss Mom helped me send you something she said it would get there in a week."

"I'll write you back the moment I get it Ben" She promised.

"Katniss I think Peeta's falling asleep." Jo laughed.

"We'd better go anyway." Katniss said. "Later boys." She waved to them before ending the chat.

"So, are you going to read that?" Gale asked.

"Yeah I think I'll go get started but first help me up." Prim helped her get out of the chair.

The group followed her to the bed room where she promptly slammed the door in their faces.

She sat on the bed and opened the book, _**Dear Katniss, **_ It read, _**If I know you like I believe I do, then you're reading this by yourself. For that I thank you, for everything I thank you I wanted to die but now I see. I can see that I have a future and I don't have to die for honor. I know that to be honorable like you I just have to be a good person. Thank you Katniss. For my life. The following is split into five parts.**_

_**The first is my childhood**_

_**The second is my education**_

_**The third is my training**_

_**The fourth is getting here**_

_**And the last is who I hope you see.**_

She smiled down at the neat hand writing before flipping the page.

* * *

_**Part one**_

_**I was born on the Twenty-first of September. I was born to the town tailor, so one could claim we were rich. My mother and father had already had four children before me. All of them died within their first year of life. I didn't get my name until I turned one year old. They named me Bram as it was my grandfathers name.**_

_**Being their first to live I was watched all of my life. Everyone always weary of me, always afraid I may just show some kind of illness. I never did, as a matter of fact I was one of the smartest in my grade.**_

_**But I've not quite gotten there yet. By the time I was three I was engaged to the ugliest girl in town, and I don't mean it in the way it sounds. You see everyone in our village was engaged by their third birthday for no other reason then security for the family. Its always been that way, most of us end up happy in the end though.**_

_**Back to what I was saying, she was the daughter of the Rail manager. Which meant they were kiss ups to the Kingdom higher ups.**_

_**This girl Felecia was... Animated? Well let me explain, she had two older sisters who were smarter and kinder than her but she was empty headed and 'pretty'. All the other boys thought she was anyway.**_

_**I always thought she was ugly, she had curly black hair which never looked right and grey eyes that barreled through your thoughts. She had bony hands that were always cold on contact. She always had a vomit green dress she wore to Temple and I always wondered if it was an offense to God for her to wear it.**_

_**Anyway she was in love with the idea of marrying someone. She could have cared less that it was me. **_

_**I always told my mother I wasn't fond of Felecia but she told me love took work.**_

_**My father understood as he wasn't always in love with my mother.**_

_**To move on with my story you must know this. Parents set up the most horrendous dates for us and by that I don't mean they tortured us or made us like sit in the living room while deals were made. It was far worse.**_

_**They made us get dressed up like in actual Temple clothes and had us walk around the city at dusk. Holding hands was required depending on your age kissing was as well.**_

_**When I was six we went on the first of these dates. I remember my father required I make a good impression so I put on new clothes and had to take a second bath. That's when I knew he meant business. A, new clothes meant HE had to work over time for them and B, a second bath meant more wasted water.**_

_**I walked the short distance to her house where her father answered the door. I had to bow and shake his hand because of his authority over me. Like I said it was awful.**_

_**I stood in their grand house looking at my new, shiny, and uncomfortable shoes feeling like a black sheep.**_

_**She bounced down in a white and pink dress with her hair slightly off as usual. I remember how cold and hard her hands felt. How the bones didn't fit with mine.**_

_**Well, we went off hands locked. She bounced ever so excitedly at being able to do this finally.**_

_**"You look nice" I had said like my father told me to.**_

_**"Nice?" She seemed hurt.**_

_**"You know like... Pretty?" Then she giggled.**_

_**"You think I'm pretty?"**_

_**"Yeah" I nodded. I was six what did they expect out of me? She stuck her bony chin into my shoulder as she hummed contently. I was thankful she was happy. We walked to the center square where all the dates take place. Or at least supposed to take place. The older kids always went other places.**_

_**I scanned the area, I spotted my friend James who was leaving with his date Victoria who was painfully awkward and cried a lot when we got to school.**_

_**Anyway there was this fountain in the square that was supposed to show gods gaze or something. I never really understood that.**_

_**I sat on the edge like my father told me too. She told me she couldn't sit down because her dress was white, and it made some sense so I stood up. Her hand was getting sweaty in mine.**_

_**She asked me what I liked to do and I told her. I really loved stars back then. Like I was obsessed with them and plants. So I showed her different stars and constellations as they came out. Her chin dug into my shoulder, her hair smacked my face as the wind picked up. But when I looked at her she seemed so fascinated by what I was saying, I thought we could work out being together.**_

_**Well then she said this, "So stars are like, people right? Each star is like a spotlight for each person?" I sighed when she said that. You don't know how stupid this girl was.**_

_**"Yeah" I nodded and put my arm around her so it seemed like I adored her.**_

_**I didn't needless to say. Her freckled cheeks blushed and her full lips let a giggle loose. I wasn't repulsed by her, I just hated the idea of being around her. Well to end that story I walked her back, both her father and my father said we were perfect together and that we did everything right blah blah blah.**_

_**This strange courtship takes over our lives when we're not at school, the wedding planning had been going on since she was born a month after me. My life was only a blood line to keep a live then, you must understand that.**_

_**I had the best friend anyone could ask for when I was there. James I mentioned him earlier. He was the kid who was always safe. He never did anything rebellious or stupid. That was my job.**_

_**I'd be the one to find secret hide outs and bring him with me. He was the one kid who smiled through out our whole school life... He was the best kid I ever knew. **_

_**He and I would talk about our quote on quote girlfriends. He said I was lucky Felecia was an air head because that was all a woman could be where I grew up.**_

_**Idiots and mothers.**_

_**There was only one girl who did not fit this mold, her name was Lacey. She was the only other person I could call a true friend but not until we were in school.**_

_**I was 'popular' in town because of my 'girlfriend'. The other boys would tell me how lucky I was to have the prettiest girl in our generation as my own. I'd only nod and fake a smile. Only James knew I didn't like her, and James understood why I didn't like her.**_

_**I feel bad when I think about Felecia, how she thinks I died. How James thinks I'm dead if he isn't already himself. I hope he isn't he was always so happy and trustworthy. I'd hate to see him dead.**_

_**I wonder what they would think if they saw me now...**_

_**Anyway I'll tell one last story before I talk about school.**_

_**When my brother was born I was only four. I remember father telling me he was very sick and needed special care from mother and I. As I was now an older brother I was doing everything to protect him but he had something that made his blood thin. I can't remember what its called but it made him weak.**_

_**When he turned three he was so weak he wouldn't get up or eat. The authorities found out and took him from us. I was so mad I almost refused to go back to school. I wasn't mad anymore when they gave him back to us in a coffin. I cried too hard. My father paddled me afterward telling me that seven year old boys didn't cry. But that didn't change the fact that I wanted to.**_

* * *

_**Part two **_

_**So when we turn five we're sent to the reform school for Jews... It's called the reform school of whatever religion or race you are.**_

_**So the train pulls up and every year from five to sixteen has their own car. I remember how we barely filled the decaying old thing.**_

_**It wasn't a pleasant experience. The chairs were cracked the windows were either shut closed or eternally open. You were required to share a seat with your 'girlfriend'. Lucky for me Felecia had wanted to look out the window leaving me to talk to James.**_

_**She stuck her cheeks into my shoulder and watched the trees pass by.**_

_**James and I discussed the rumors floating around about this school. No one really knew what it was they taught exactly they just knew that it was a place no one wanted to go to.**_

_**Once you were there you were never the same and all of us feared the worse.**_

_**"You'll protect me though won't you Bram?" Felecia rubbed her cheek bone on my shoulder.**_

_**I smiled and nodded. Victoria was close to tears but didn't say anything she was just shaking without control. I felt bad for her but not as bad as I felt for James. He didn't know how to handle her. No one really knows what to do with a girl who has no emotional stamina.**_

_**We reached the school which looked sturdy, in contrast to the creaky elderly buildings at home. At least, however, those looked alive and lived in. This places seemed dead.**_

_**Walking in there was clearly no sign of pride or establishment.**_

_**We were separated girls and boys. We lined up on opposite sides. Our headmistress McMullen walked in. She was appointed by the Kingdoms, born and raised with the highest rank of people.**_

_**She had an air about her I had never seen. She had been born with it. Her air of prestige, her balanced and sure footing.**_

_**She'd called us ingrates of a lesser caliber of society, however being a five year old without education I had no clue what she was talking about.**_

_**She told us no one made it out of here without maturing to a proper adult. Well I think I was rightly so, leaving there at only aged ten I was pretty well mature. Of course that took five years to happen.**_

_**I remember them taking the boys to classes on politics and battle strategy.**_

_**There were two teachers for our age group, one for each gender. Mr. Clericson was an enthusiastic character? **_

_**I'm not sure how else to say that, he was always in love with our country. He taught five year olds how to plan a battle by coloring a paper with the field on it.**_

_**Well it didn't take me long to find a secret hide away up in the tower of the school. It wasn't much and the creeks of the old rotting wood made you feel like you would fall in at any second, but that was the charm and thrill about this place.**_

_**You didn't know if you would fall through a missing floor board and the thin walls made you feel almost empowered. James and I would go there to finish homework, have serious talks, and to simply escape the world of honor bound idiots that were our classmates. It became our favorite place.**_

_**Well as children will we tested our boundaries at this school. Learning very quickly what could be forgiven and what was punishable.**_

_**The older kids found amusement in the younger kids trying the adults.**_

_**So our school was set up in fourteen different parts, for the twelve age groups school houses and boarding rooms. Then two for the dinning hall and administrative offices.**_

_**There was a 'grounds' which was a circle of yellow bricks in the center of the school buildings. It wasn't anything special but the red bricks in the center never made sense to us.**_

_**It was Sabbath when it happened. James and I had made it down through our dorm having finished our work (words to express our love for the Kingdoms, since we were again only five). A friend of ours walked towards us and we began to pray as a group when Mr. Clericson walked into our room.**_

_**He snapped his fingers to tell us to line up. "This is a momentous moment for you boys! You'll be seeing just how our glorious country deals with people who cause trouble.**_

_**We were escorted out to the court yard where in place of the red brick there was a wooden block.**_

_**Whispers were not even thoughts in our minds, for it was all silenced. Everyone's gaze intent on the wooden block. **_

_**They brought out an acquaintance of mine, Durham. He was a year older then me and at the time he looked so scared he had shrunk a foot.**_

_**They announced that he snuck out of his dorm last night.( I found out later his sister had passed.)Therefore he'd receive a gracious punishment of only thirty lashes, they were even kinder as they used a straight whip and not the spiked one.**_

_**He didn't scream because he was braver then that. He held his head strong until the officer kicked it down into the block. I wanted to cry but I saw one of the kids in our year cry, and Mr. Clericson had hit him.**_

_**I didn't want that. Looking back I wish I had cried though, to show my own form of resistance to the system.**_

_**When they finally hit his thirty after what felt like hours of standing we were free to leave. But James and I couldn't move along with half of our class.**_

_**"Bram!" Felecia had run into my arms sobbing. "You're so brave! Oh Bram" I always wondered why I was the brave one. I hadn't just been whipped in front of the entire school. Just for not crying didn't seem like a good reason to congratulate someone on you know not being brave.**_

_**I wrapped my arms around her as she cried lightly. I felt bad for James as Victoria passed out when she saw the blood. I really didn't want to do anything but Felecia had made me take her to the main room the five year olds were designated. **_

_**We sat down with James who simply looked at the floor with a bittersweet smile, I knew he hadn't stopped praying when were escorted out.**_

_**Felecia excused herself to her own dorm and that was about the time I met Lacey. Lacey sat down in front of us and for no good reason started to talk. **_

_**Something I always noticed about Lacey was that she had the same air about her our headmistress did. Only she wasn't born with it, she made it for herself.**_

_**"I'm Lacey Pembroke" She introduced herself even though both James and I knew her, " And I really need your help."**_

_**"With what?" I asked.**_

_**"Do you know somewhere privet?" Her brown eyes flickered with suspicion.**_

_**"Can you get to the boys dorm?" I asked.**_

_**"Are you insulting me?" She laughed. I informed her of the hidden room. She promised to meet us there in twenty minutes.**_

_**Lacey Pembroke was good at three things, 1 keeping her promises, 2 sneaking around, and 3 being amazing at everything ever.**_

_**So twenty minutes later we found ourselves in the same room.**_

_**"What do you need?" James asked which was rather rebellious for my friend who usually followed me around.**_

_**"Well you see, I need a challenge." She sat down on the creaky floors.**_

_**"A challenge?" I squinted at her**_

_**"Yes, you have no idea how boring our classes are! They teach us to sew, and cook, and how to be a courteous hostess." That was odd no one ever had parties where we were from. "I need more." She said, "I will not stand for twelve years of learning stitches and child care!"**_

_**So James and I made a deal with her, we'd teach her mathematics, military sciences, read books with her, and teach handwriting.**_

_**Of course as the years went by and the text books got bigger she began to teach us a few things. Like Trigonometry I only know that because of her.**_

_**Well James kind of... sort of fell head over heals for her. I'd joke with him about it and he'd actually get mad. So I started to indulge his likeness of her.**_

_**I let him teach her cursive when we were eight. I let him and her read 'Borderlines' which was some romance novel written during an old battle between the Republic and us.**_

_**We became a trio of sorts. A secret one who's grades were top notch and self esteem to match. The war began when we were seven. And I distinctly remember they had a writing competition for the boys and girls of our year. Entered in two different categories as usual according to gender.**_

_**Well we all were required to write a letter to the Head of the Department of Welfare. Giving them a battle song and a simple letter. No one would ever read it.**_

_**Well except the Head f Welfare. He made a huge deal about how he would pick a letter from each age group and gender and read it on camera. We were all required to watch.**_

_**We sent in our letters sure ours wouldn't get picked. But as fate would have it mine was and so was Lacey's.**_

_**All the seven year olds sat together watching as the letters from the younger ones were read. Some had sent the man drawings while others had sent scribbled notes thanking him for safety.**_

_**"As if he ever gave a damn about them." Lacey had said earlier. The three of us seemed to grow a strong hatred for the Kingdoms as our schooling continued.**_

_**Felecia sat next to me now gripping my hand with hers. Our fingers still didn't fit together and her shoulders still stabbed me.**_

_**James sat with Victoria and Lacey in front of us. His fingers inches from hers as a hardly noticeable coincidence. ;)**_

_**Anyway we were sitting there and the announcement of the seven year olds came on. No one really cared much until they said, "This little boy is from the reform school for Jews located in... Denmark." We were the only school for Jews in Denmark.**_

_**They didn't say names though, to symbolize the children's voice as one. "Dear sir,**_

_**"It has come to my attention that a war has begun yet again between the Kingdoms and the Republic... My" He laughed, "What a mature young fellow to use such proper language." He looked down and continued the letter, "I know you being in such a high position know this already, however. I feel that you don't quite know the extent of the home front. You see sir my father was one of the first to sign up for war.**_

_**"I don't think you comprehend how much children go through, how we ourselves sacrifice without doing anything at all. How our parents doing all they can means we do all we can.**_

_**"Again I know you understand this simple fact. However sir I ask you, please end this war. Please don't keep sending men to the front lines of a futile and unnecessary war.**_

_**"I know what this war is about, the Crusades but didn't we solve that problem seventy years ago? Why do we keep doing this? What about Oceania? They're more powerful then we first expected. **_

_**"Sir I in no way mean to undermine you, but please sir all of our fathers here have been sent out and many like my own have died already.**_

_**"I pray you can safely return our fathers, brothers, and sons safely to their wives, mothers, and children as I wish the pain of losing a father on no other man.**_

_**"Sincerely..." The Head folded the letter and put it in his jacket pocket. I knew then I was screwed.**_

_**"His song was a poem he wrote based on a song he once heard.**_

_**"I have a question to the world, one that may not be easily answered... Who are you?**_

_**"Your faces morphed together, your smiles the same your laughter the same, but your cries are separate.**_

_**"Why do you not cry together as one? One body and one nation?**_

_**"Who are you? People I have met or people I have yet to meet. Tell me who do you see yourself as?**_

_**"Many or one? **_

_**"I'll never be what I'm wanted to be. You do you think you'll be? I'm a boy but not I am a man.**_

_**"Tell me how can one learn what is never shown? The higher ups do not know me, for I'm not here. Not to them.**_

_**"I want these moments to be real, I want to touch things I don't feel. How can a world want me to change when they do not know I am here?"**_

_**The head was not pleased I should just be shot now, with Felecia's bones not fitting with mine and her shoulder in my chest.**_

_**"The little seven year old girl is from the reform school for Jews... Also from Denmark. How wonderful a matched set." He wasn't pleased and I was dead.**_

_**"Dear sir, If you don't mind I think I shall address you the way I feel you should be. You speak of protecting the people and yet you let those under you laid down their lives so you can sleep in a warm bed. You allow all to suffer under your iron foot. You allow them to starve and wither away therefore sir you do not deserve my courtesies. **_

_**"You see I am only writing to you because my school requires it other wise I would not have learned writing for as you should have guessed, unless you are as daft as I believe you to be, I am a girl.**_

_**"I am a girl who is treated no better then the women in the Republic and for that you should be ashamed, sir. I learn to cook and sew, not to do mathematics and read. Why? Only because I am not a male?**_

_**"I can only tell you how to find the square roots of numbers and what the cosine of a ratio is because I teach myself from textbooks I am not allowed. I was born a female and therefore I am worthless to you?**_

_**"No sir I think not. I am a human being and in a system of equality given to some more than others I will ask you to please consider the morality of our society.**_

_**"What is so free about segregation and planned livelihood? I do not see this logic so an explanation would be due to me sir. As I have lived my seven years on this earth as a speck of nothingness, however, sometimes it takes a simple speck to start a storm as I intend to sir. **_

_**"I will start a hell storm if I must to get your eyes open. Look around you, a world of crumbling dying people and yet we have time for frivolities such as war. How lucid do you think I am not? I see the world through the eyes of a child and yet a child is the wisest of all the men in court.**_

_**"The mind of a child, the mind of a girl. I am indeed troubled by the sentiment of your actions. Sir if you will do me a favor please allow change to proceed through you and our world. **_

_**"Change is the only constant sir and therefore I leave you with this parting thought.**_

_**"A little Jew is more literate and lucid in this hell you claim to be a world and yet you run a disintegrating country. It does not take a man of great strength to move mountains. It takes a woman with a great mind and the ability to see it through until the mountain has reached the sea." Lacey's letter was considerably worse then mine. James knew our letters had been read, I saw their hands linked. I touched their hands with my foot so not to move Felecia.**_

_**They both nodded, this was our great down fall. Lacey and I were far more then screwed now.**_

_**"My song, sir, is not my own but is dedicated to the only person who can change anything. The people who are lucid to this hell.**_

_**"**__**Dreaming, hoping, for another try, I've been looking, searching, deeper down inside. And if I loose my way, I'll find another road. Cause I can make a change on my own.  
"I'm moving on. And I'm gonna get stronger now, And nothing will break me down. I will not give in to doubt, Those days are gone. I can be who I wanna be, And start living my life for me. I believe it finally I'm moving on.  
"Something, somewhere, that I long to find. I am learning, slowly, one day at a time, That if I loose and fail, I'll be fine.  
"I'm moving on, And I'm gonna get stronger now, And nothing will break me down. I will not give in to doubt, Those days are gone. I can be who I wanna be, And start living my life for me. I believe it finally, I'm moving on  
"I am moving To a brighter dawn. I am moving, Gotta take the fight. I am moving, I can make it right.  
"I'm moving on, Nothing will break me down. I will not give in to doubt, Those days are gone. I can be who I wanna be, And start living my life for me.  
"I believe it finally, I'm moving on, I am moving.  
"Yes I'm moving on, I am moving, I'm moving on.**_

_**The red in his face almost seemed natural when he finished her song and God, I prayed so fiercely for us. That maybe Lacey and James could run away together or some ridiculous fantasy such as that. **_

_**But when Hanukkah came and we were sent home before the new school year began, Lacey and I were not escorted back to school, instead we were escorted to the Center City, otherwise know as, Hell.**_

* * *

_**Part three**_

_**So when a strange man appeared at our home it was three in the morning, I wasn't surprised. Lacey was with him. Mother allowed me to take her to my room. **_

_**I sat her on my bed and she explained.**_

_**"They're angry with us. They're taking us the Center City. They're telling our parents we've been invited because of some weird contest we won." Lacey rolled her eyes. "They'll try things you know that right Bram?" I nodded. "What ever you do, please don't give in to them. Please stand firm with me. We have to."**_

_**I nodded again still tired from lack of sleep. To be honest I wasn't afraid, I should have been but I wasn't.**_

_**She took me out to meet the strange man who escorted us to the train station. This train, it was bigger than any train I had ever seen. We stepped inside and the whole thing was made of something much studier than steal, and more refined than our metals.**_

_**"My name children is Lieutenant Sherkoff. And you kids have a lot of explaining to do." He said leading us through the absolutely massive train. "Just don't say anything to upset the other heads and you might find a lot more generosity here than the hell they're planning to give you."**_

_**I knew Lacey wouldn't listen but I wasn't expecting quite how it would go down. We entered a large plush room where all of the heads sat in an array of relaxation. They were drinking, the room smelled heavily of bourbon, and they're laughter was broken the more they drank.**_

_**The moment we stepped foot in the place, the smell was gone, their laugher fled without a trace, and their drunkenness was gone without a trace.**_

_**Sherkoff bowed and walked to a plush chair on the left side of the room. "You two kids have caused quite a stir down south." The Head of the Department of Health and Sciences said knowing that we were as far north as anyone lived in Europe.**_

_**"And it seems that you've started something we may not be able to control." The Head of the Department of Foreign Territory squared away his jaw.**_

_**"So we need your help." The Head of the Department of Welfare said with a sly smile that still haunts my dreams.**_

_**"Why should we? We spoke our minds." Lacey stepped forward.**_

_**"You know dear that's against our policies." The Head of the Department of Law laughed.**_

_**"You told us to write a letter to the Head of Welfare, so we told him the flaws of our system." Lacey retaliated.**_

_**"You child do not comprehend what you have done." The Head of the People spoke up. He was the only black man in the room and that was the only reason he was here. For his skin tone, that in itself was wrong.**_

_**"Are you sure about that sir? I know exactly what I've done. I've spoken up, used the freedoms of old. You have no idea what I know. I may be just a girl who you think to be naive, innocent, ignorant, or maybe even daft to the consequences of the adult world but I am not.**_

_**"I may be a girl sir, but I am more conscious of my natural born rights and freedoms then you will ever be conscious of which tie you'll wear to work today." Lacey was angered and ready to defend herself, "I know the only way to gain my freedoms is to awaken the peoples minds. I know they will never fight for freedom until they are lucid in their own minds."**_

_**"You are ignorant, girl." The head of Law spoke up with a snarl.**_

_**"How so?"**_

_**"Lacey" I hissed.**_

_**"I'm already in a whole world of trouble Bram I might as well stand up for why I'm here." She said.**_

_**I stood back when she said this. "You do not see, Lacey, that the people cannot stand up until they are conscious, and yet they can not be conscious until they stand up." I sighed. "They told us that in school when they taught us about the Republic. They told us people cannot take a stand until they know what freedom is, and they won't know freedom until they've taken a stand.**_

_**"Lacey it's the same here, I wish I could say different but I can't. You and I are aware but not enough people are."**_

_**"Wisely said son." Sherkoff scoffed.**_

_**"Bram, we are already in trouble we have to fight for our beliefs now." I understood her and nodded.**_

_**"Well while you two decide about your fate why not let us give you a deal." The Head of Foreign Territory smiled.**_

_**"We have a proposition. Come to our facilities and become a bit of a... Model for other citizens." The Head of the People said.**_

_**"You've already killed more then half of my family what make you think I'd want that?" I asked.**_

_**"To ensure your mothers honor." The Head of Health and Sciences eyed me. I could have choked him blue, "You wouldn't want anything to happen to her right?"**_

_**I said nothing but looked down.**_

_**"All we ask is that you consider your possibilities you'll be staying with us for a whole two years." The Head of Law smirked.**_

_**"Two years?" I asked.**_

_**"Well at least you boy, we have something in store for you." The Head of the People laughed. "The girl may stay longer."**_

_**"We'll be happy to give you the rest of the day, think over your options, be a figure head, and learn more then you thought ever existed. Or you could be a lab rat for a few experiments I have in mind." The Head of Health and Sciences said in a flat tone, "Sherkoff go ahead and take them to their room."**_

_**We left with the Lieutenant, I held Lacey's hand because she was scared and it was plain on her face.**_

_**We were led to our room, and left alone when we stepped foot in it. The room was much larger then my home, probably about as big as my house and Lacey's house combined into one.**_

_**The two beds were taller then we were and longer then I thought a bed could be. They were red, blood red, the eight blankets, all the giant cloud like pillows were the same blood red.**_

_**The wood however was black, more black than tree sap. I almost wasn't sure what to think. The dark walls of some sort of wood contrasted the black carpet under our feet. I had never felt carpet before then.**_

_**There were two doors with our names presumably they were bathrooms. Her and I climbed up the large bed closest to us and looked at one another when we settled.**_

_**Lacey wrapped her arms around me and cried light tears. I never thought her brown eyes were capable of tears.**_

_**I never thought her long blond hair would stick to her flushed cheeks. I never thought her body could tremble with such force.**_

_**That air she had made herself was gone in the two minutes she cried on my shoulder.**_

_**"What are we going to do?" I asked.**_

_**"We-... We're going to do what ever they ask." She said. "Bram they talked about your mother. I know they'll find a way to hurt my big sister. They can't do that." She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.**_

_**"Okay." I said, "We'll do what they say, and bring about some kind of storm they'll have to clean up. You're right Lacey we're already in trouble so what is more trouble going to do?" I didn't know it then but quite a lot.**_

_**She smiled and nodded. "Let's give them hell Bram."**_

_**We parted to explore the doors with our names on them. They were bathrooms but the weirdest thing happened when I stepped foot in mine. It scanned my body and senses. It brought ME to the shower. It adjusted the heat and soap and I had the news playing for me while I showered.**_

_**My only thought was, people are still starving and dying yet we have this kind of useless, petty technology.**_

_**We both finished our showers and walked out at the same time wearing clothes clearly chosen for us in advance.**_

_**"That was weird... And what idiot put me in a dress?" She looked down at the deep blue knee length dress they had put her in. She looked like a child, and so did I in a button up long-sleeved shirt and slack pants. I remember this well because I had never worn such nice clothes, not even to temple or on my dates with Felecia. **_

_**We sat back on the bed, "Lacey,"**_

_**"Yes."**_

_**"I'm going to make a promise to you right now that comes with a secret."**_

_**"Go."**_

_**"I promise I will stay true to my own ideas and try to convince our people of them as well. Because even though I was always more rebellious then James, I am a coward right now." I realized then I only had James, my mother, and Lacey left who actually cared. I guess Felecia counted but she would love me being in the Center City.**_

_**"I realize that I almost got whipped back when we were six for standing up to my teacher but right now I'm scared."**_

_**"I'm petrified Bram." She said before holding up her right hand, "I promise to stay true to my beliefs but that I'll stay safe so I can make it back to my sister and James. Because I secretly like him." She put her finger to her lips.**_

_**"He secretly likes you." I said before holding up my right hand. "I swear to be a good friend to you and protect you when I have to, because normally you can hold your own."**_

_**"I promise the same." She said, "And I swear I'll talk you out of your problems because sometimes you can be a bit daft."**_

_**We laughed before Sherkoff walked in and informed us we were needed in the dinning cart.**_

_**When we got there we were again shocked. I'm sure that table held all the food I had ever eaten... Ever.**_

_**"Ah, hello children we were waiting for you" The Head of the People laughed. "Sit down."**_

_**We needed help getting on the massive dinning chairs but the moment we sat dow the Head of Welfare spoke up. "Have you two decided yet?"**_

_**"Yes." I sighed.**_

_**"...We'll do it" Lacey said sounding defeated.**_

_**"Excellent." The Head of Foreign Territory said pleased, "Now please eat."**_

_**We ate slowly fearful of judgment. **_

_**It only took a day to reach the Center City. It was extraordinary and as everything from the higher ups was, bigger. **_

_**The whole world apparently knew of our arrival and were anxious to see us. I was blind by the time we reached our hotel.**_

_**Walking in the Heads informed us we would be interviewed on the topic of us studying in the Center City. We were to tell them how we were grateful and you know not forced here against our will.**_

_**We were dragged away and taken to some weird place I later became extremely knowledgeable of.**_

_**They cleaned up our bodies of our skin, they made our eyes bright with life, they made us shiny new dolls. **_

_**I was dressed in a suit and she in a dress this one pink and down to her ankles. I could see her hatred of the color pink written all over her face. I'd have laughed if we hadn't just sold our souls to Satan.**_

_**We were driven to the convention center where the interview was being held. We passed by a large museum in the shape a circle which I learned about in school The whole museum moved everyday. It seemed cool when I was six, but now an eight year old I thought it to be one more useless thing.**_

_**We got to the convention center and my hands were shaky. Lacey took my hand and tried to reassure herself rather than me about our fate.**_

_**"Lacey" I said to her, "We've got this." They curled her hair and it bounced as she laughed.**_

_**"I wish I had faith like you Bram. You're always so sure everything happens for a reason. You're always saying it's okay even when I know you're not sure." She looked up at me and smiled.**_

_**"James always thought I was an arrogant prick." I said.**_

_**"I think I stole that title today." I nodded at her. Lacey was pretty and I knew James would be watching us tonight. So I made a promise to myself to make sure we were only friends.**_

_**We were called out and I could feel Lacey loose her nerve. But strangely I gained it.**_

_**"Welcome, Welcome!" There was a large crowd to great us, mostly because the Center City loved a good show.**_

_**"The Center City greets you with the warmest." The interviewer said way too happy for his own good.**_

_**"Thank you sir" I said shaking his hand before Lacey did.**_

_**"Please sit" Then suddenly three chairs appeared. Two for Lacey and I together, and one for our peppy interviewer. "So tell us please where are you from?"**_

_**"The Jewish compound in Denmark" I answered.**_

_**The crowd gasped, Jews had never been in the Center City. "So you all must be from the reform school there correct?"**_

_**"Yes sir"**_

_**"And how old are you?"**_

_**"I'm eight and she'll be nine in the Spring" I pointed to Lacey who smiled and nodded.**_

_**"Excellent, you know the Center City says the younger we take them the better adults they'll be"**_

_**"How wise of them to say so." This man looked so flattered he couldn't speak, "Although I have come to the understanding everything here is just lovely."**_

_**"Ah yes! Center City is the MOST prestigious I the entire Kingdoms. You are very lucky to study here."**_

_**"Yes we are sir. I hope to learn as much as I'm able in the time I'm here." This was about the time I learned just how good I was at schmoosing the general public.**_

_**The interview went on for an hour, Lacey only uttered thank yous for her dress. **_

_**I started to have a memory. They showed us the Twenty-fifth annual Hunger Games when we were in school. **_

_**The kids were chosen by the district and one boy from three was picked as he had a limp and was disabled. A girl convinced everyone to vote for her because she was in love with him.**_

_**When they went to the Capitol and they were interviewed she told them that she had to let him know someone cared. She needed him to know that there was someone who would die for him. **_

_**He said he cared too much about her, that he didn't want her to come but she did. He swore he'd get her home.**_

_**They entered the arena and they ran toward one another. The latched onto each other and were slaughtered in the first five minutes.**_

_**Their blood mixed and they were together until the end.**_

_**I started to think about Lacey and I in a similar way. Only we were friends, only we weren't going to our sure death. Our future was uncertain.**_

_**But we were going down together and I know I speak for her when I say we wouldn't have had it any other way.**_

_**Do you have someone like that? Who you would stay with no matter what? You must right?**_

_**Well anyway I saw us like this. I saw us as partners in our descent to our ultimate demise. Only now she's alone in the Kingdoms and I am here in district twelve.**_

* * *

_**Part four**_

_**So when I turned nine I was ripped away from the tortures of my daily routine of watching the war and learning about our system. I got to leave the videos of the homosexual camps and the mines. **_

_**I was taken to the Head of Foreign Territory. "Bram, sit down." He smiled in a way I did not like at all. I took a seat and he began to speak, " So Bram, I told you we'd keep you here for two years" I nodded**_

_**"And while you and Lacey have excelled in everything we've thrown at you, but we both know it's not enough."**_

_**"It's never enough with you sir. You take and take even when you can't take any more you still try." I said in a vengeful voice.**_

_**"Right, Bram, congratulation you're the youngest member of the Army."**_

_**"What!?"**_

_**"You've been enlisted. Congratulation."**_

_**"I didn't condone this!" **_

_**"No you didn't, you don't have to do it. As long as you don't mind being an orphan." I stared at him with a blank face. I literally felt so many emotions I didn't have one.**_

_**"Think about it son. Tell me in the morning so we can get some video before your training." Had I been able to move I would have liked to kill him. But I was ripped from my place and thrown into my bedroom where Lacey sat in her yellow dress. They forced her wear dresses and a low kind of torture as she liked to say.**_

_**"Bram!" She cried running to my arms. "What happened?" Then I saw her bruised arms.**_

_**"Did you bite another guard Lacey?" I laughed.**_

_**"Maybe" She shuffled. "Tell me." She pulled me to the bed and sat me down.**_

_**"They've... They've enlisted me."**_

_**"They what!?"**_

_**"I either join the army or I become an orphan. Lacey, they'll kill my mother." I cried dry tears because I learned long ago boys don't cry.**_

_**"Oh Bram." She sighed. "What are you going to do?" After a few moments of silence I answered her.**_

_**"Join the Army." I said in a dark tone. "I'm sorry Lacey but I have to. I have to do this."**_

_**"I know it's for your mother." She hugged me again. That night I informed The Heads of my choice and I gave an interview about my damned Valor. I didn't feel special like it was this great honor. I felt like an idiot going to get his head shot off.**_

_**The next morning I was taken to the surgery ward where they inserted a chip into my brain. This chip regulated my heart rate, acted as a tracker, and heightened my senses.**_

_**It was scary to wake up and hear distinct conversations outside my door.**_

_**I didn't even notice my new view point. But when they asked me about the war I responded.**_

_**"It will be an honor to serve." **_

_**They sent me to the training station where they simulated my new abilities. They made days pass in minutes and months in hours. I went three hours without water my first go. I was clearly a test subject to show how youth affected the outcome of these chips.**_

_**I only spent two months there. I spent the rest of my nine year old year learning battle strategies. **_

_**Not once did I ever see Lacey Pembroke again. Before I was sent over seas the next year I was allowed to go home. My mother kissed my cheeks and told me how proud she was. Though I knew it killed her.**_

_**I went to the reform school next where I saw James. I remembered him, I wanted to hug him and talk with him in our secret place for hours with Lacey.**_

_**That was when I started to notice my chip was faulty. When I had a thought other than the Kingdoms. **_

_**I walked into the girls room and I stood as a bit of a trophy for a good few minutes before Felecia stood up and put her bony cold hands on my face. **_

_**I could tell our fingers still wouldn't fit.**_

_**She hugged me, clearly elated at how honorable I was. How all the other girls should be jealous of her. I was noticing these things and beginning to panic.**_

_**I wasn't sure why the chip was faltering. She kissed my cheek and I suddenly realized I was branded as hers. We were never two singular people we were always supposed to be one.**_

_**But I severed myself from her now. As I was now in the Army serving my country and fighting for what was right.**_

_**As I left and this thought came to my head I wondered, What is the right thing? I'm still not sure of this even as I write it.**_

_**In the bunker all the way over to the districts I honestly could not focus on the greatness of my country. I wondered time and time again who was I and what was I doing?**_

_**When we landed and filed out, I saw people in line to fight and I was utterly confused for at the time I was told we were still in the Kingdoms trying to reclaim a city.**_

_**I shot a few rounds but when we had no ammo left I was nervous. My chip didn't come back to life as it had been earlier when I had seen James.**_

_**I was afraid because suddenly there was no one in front of me shooting. Suddenly I had to chose to fight or run. **_

_**Being a coward I ran far and fast. While in the woods I could feel my chip glitching, I wasn't steady in my foot work like usual.**_

_**I was a malfunction, I was the one percent that rejects the chip. My thoughts were exploding inside my head giving me a migraine so bad I vomited.**_

_**I ran until I fainted. For two days my head burned I laid sprawled out in agony of my brain, being to god damned confused to figure out what in hell was happening.**_

_**I cried even though our chips made it so we couldn't produce tears.**_

_**They finally cut off my chip but I was still in the Kingdom mind set. For six days I lived in the wild before I found you.**_

* * *

_**Part Five**_

_**Dear Katniss,**_

_**I was debating whether or not I should put this in here so I did. Thank you for reading this. You know who I was now, which you can say now that you are the only person in Twelve who knows me. Thank you for giving me a second chance at life Katniss.**_

_**I want you to know how I see myself. So here we go**_

_**Good traits**_

_**I've been told I'm handsome**_

_**I've always been quick to pick up everything in learning**_

_**I'm patient**_

_**I'm not an angry person**_

_**I care, maybe too much but I mean well**_

_**I'm adventurous**_

_**I'm rebellious, something we seem to have in common**_

_**I work tirelessly, sometimes to the point of fainting**_

_**I've been told I'm a fairly good singer ;)**_

_**I regret to say that I'll now list my bad traits**_

_**I'm rather arrogant**_

_**I'm codependent on other people for happiness**_

_**I'm Irrational when it comes to everything**_

_**I can't, for the life of me, admit how I feel about people to their face**_

_**I demand perfection from myself and normally others**_

_**I'm so stuck in my opinions I can't see other peoples ideas**_

_**I can't take criticism from anyone ever.**_

_**I cry though I'm a boy**_

_**I am afraid all the time**_

_**But please know Katniss I am trying to change. I want to be that person who is amazing like you. So Katniss when you've read this through please give it back to me. So I can destroy it.**_

_**Thank you Katniss, this is the least I can do. Let you know who I am because you saved me from myself.**_

* * *

When Katniss finished reading it was nearly midnight. She put the book on her night stand and made a list of things to do tomorrow, none of those things, though, were to destroy that book with Bram.

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_Holy crap this took forever. Sorry about the delay but I need to perfect Bram's character and you'll see why. Stay lovely!_


	24. Chapter 24

_Hello my dears I'm very excited about this one and I hope you are too._

_I would just like to dedicate this one to __**Kpfan72491**__ who has commented on almost every single chapter I have posted since she joined us on December 10 which is probably more than half the story. So thank you, you are amazing just because every time you tell me great chap and that is always just perfect. _

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The next day Katniss took all of the children to the bakery as Bram had rightly promised. Jo and Gale had come along and were playing with the children in the backyard.

Katniss stood in the bakery watching them from the window. Her hands circled the spot her daughter was kicking.

She turned to see Bram putting some bread out to cool. "Bram?" She spoke up.

"Yes?" He looked at her.

She held up the book and smiled, "You have quite a story to tell." He shrugged, "You do."

"It's a story, everyone has one. Mine's not special. No one would care to read it anyway."

"I did, it was fantastic."

"Yeah, the story of a boy getting himself in over his head and getting severely punished for it. A story about a child trying to make a difference in an adult world and nearly dying on multiple occasions for it. Great"

"It's more than that Bram." He shifted his gaze downward as she spoke. "I read a story of redemption, a story about a little boy and a little girl who took a stand for their beliefs when everyone else was too afraid.

"I read the story of a little boy mature beyond his years, who made every choice to save someone else. I read a story of friendship and of a child's awkwardness' becoming mature and intelligent ideas."

"You give too many compliments for something that hardly matters. For the story of a young boys cowardice you say it is one of maturity and redemption. A story of faith, yet what I wrote was none of those things. I wrote about fear and a desperate survival."

"Courage does not exist without fear, Bram." He sighed when she said this, "I don't want you to get rid of this" She held up the book and showed it to him.

"But-... No one else will be understanding like you Katniss."

"Maybe, but save it, it could prove useful someday." He was silent. "here" She led him up the stairs and into the office space before pulling out a safe.

She opened it and pulled out the only three things in it. "This was given to me by my best friend before I fought in my Hunger Games." She handed him the Mockingjay pin. "My husband gave me this when we were in the second arena together." She handed him the pearl in exchange for the pin. "And this, is the book I read to my daughter everyday I was pregnant with her." She held up the copy of A Little Princess. She held the pages in even as they tried to escape their binding.

"I really should want to destroy them, because of the horrid memories they hold. But I keep them, even though I know there's no future in the past. I keep them and I honestly don't know why." Bram handed her the pearl and examined the book. "Can I put your story with my past?"

He looked up at her and reluctantly handed her the books. She locked all of the things back up and set the safe back in its place.

"Katniss?"

"Hmm?" She asked standing up.

"Do you think Lacey is..."

"I think she's kept herself alive and well. For your sake."

"But she thinks I'm dead."

"Sometimes, death keeps you going. More than someone alive can."

Downstairs she picked up a book of names and read since it was a rather slow day. She whispered the names she liked to the newest little princess and asked if she liked them.

"Scarlet?" She contemplated out loud. The little princess kicked her mother gently. "Do you like that? Scarlet?" The baby kicked again.

"Alright." She laughed feeling the little girl move, "Scarlet." She said again getting a feel for it. She flipped through the name book and happened upon a sticky note from when she was pregnant with Peony.

She laughed before reading the name, "Viviane, means alive." She looked down at her stomach, "You're a little fighter, Scarlet and grandma liked this one. Scarlet Viviane Mellark. That's your name." The little girl kicked in approval.

"Welcome to the family." She said again.

"So I presume" A voice from the door made Katniss nearly jump out of her skin. "That means it's a girl?" Bram asked slyly.

She nodded smirking in her own humiliation. "Keep it a secret?"

"I've got tons" He said.

Over the next few weeks Katniss busied herself with the bakery and her children. She didn't want to focus on her husband coming back into town because if she did the day would never come.

Prim and Katniss ended up holding a quite small ceremony that was only them two and the people who buried their mother. Katniss cried, but she blamed it on her pregnancy. Prim sobbed and did not blame it on any one thing.

Katniss was in the bakery when we pick up.

"Katniss?" Bram asked, "What do you think about me, going back to school?" He handed her a few trays to put in the oven.

"I think that's a great idea." She walked over to the oven and slid them in.

"Really?"

"Yes"

"But what about this place?"

"You can still work after school if you like." He smiled a bit.

"I don't need citizenship?"

"No, at least I don't think so." She said.

"Katniss!" Bram said with wide eyes. She turned and saw the oven had caught fire.

He grabbed a bucket of water and threw it at the flames. "So have I ever told you I can't bake?" She asked before the two of them broke out into laughter.

"I can't be gone for five minutes before you set something on fire?" Katniss broke her laughing fit to look in the direction of the voice.

"Honey you're the one who married the girl on fire." Katniss retaliated. Bram hit his head with his palm at this joke.

Peeta laughed making his way over to her, "You can't make bread without fire. So how's the bun?" He asked putting his hand over her stomach.

"Oww." Bram groaned, "Please tell me your relationship isn't founded on puns."

"Oh no, we normally aren't this good" Katniss said as a matter of fact. Turning to Peeta she wrapped her arms around his torso. "Peeta this is Bram. Bram this is my Husband Peeta." She introduced the two.

They shook hands, Bram's shook rather violently, "You've done well. Everyone seems satisfied with your work."

"Thank you sir." Bram said.

"Bram has saved me from having to... Burn down this place." Katniss sighed.

"Oh thank god." Peeta laughed. Katniss let it slide.

"Bram is thinking-"

"I heard"

"Well then!" Katniss rolled her eyes.

"I love you?" He laughed kissing her forehead. "Anyway Bram I'd be more than willing to help work something out. With you"

"Thank you sir." Bram nodded, "Katniss I'm going to go to the train station to pick up the ingredients."

"Alone?"

"They always ask if I need a cart or something. I'll be fine." He walked out of the kitchen leaving Katniss with her husband.

He kissed her cheek, "Welcome home daddy" Katniss laughed as their daughter kicked her hand.

He didn't say anything but got on his knees and placed his hands over their baby, "You never quit do you little one?" He laughed. "You've seen two battles, two. That's one more than I've seen. You'll be just like your mother, I know it."

"We better hope it's not like me, then we'd never be able to find it anywhere. It'd be in the forest skipping school trying to bring down the system."

He laughed, "Don't listen to mommy, we'll be lucky if you're anything like her." He kissed their princess before standing up. "So when are you going to tell everyone the gender? They've all been telling me you'd break when you saw me. Course that was before they knew I'd be in late."

"They speak lies." Katniss chuckled.

"Really?"

"Really" She nodded. "when he or she comes you'll all know."

"You said he first, is it a boy?"

"Would you have preferred I say she or he? It doesn't sound right." She said moving toward the kitchen door.

"I'd preferred you tell me if we're having a girl or a boy." He joked.

"Wait here, I'll be back." She said exiting the smoking kitchen. She walked up the stairs in to the office where she found Bram laying in fetal position rocking back and forth. "Bram?" She whispered getting on her knees and placing her hand on his back.

"No, no, no, no, no..." He whispered.

"Bram, can you hear me?" She shook his shoulders, "Bram you're safe. I'm here you're in district twelve and you're safe do you hear me?" She shook his shoulders so she could see his face from behind his hands.

His eyes were black, then they changed to green, and back to black again, "Bram snap out of it!" She shook him again.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes again.

"Bram?" She asked. He looked up at her with his own green eyes, relief washed over her.

"... They... They..." He swallowed, "I think they know."

"Who?"

"The kingdoms" He whispered. "They know I'm alive."

"How long has this been happening Bram?" She asked helping him sit up.

"This hasn't happened since the glitches." He said placing his hand on the left side of his head.

"Bram,-"

"I'm sorry, I should go to the train station." He stood up and helped Katniss to her feet.

"Bram are you sure that's safe? If the Kingdoms know you're alive."

"I'll be fine." He assured.

"Bram-" He walked out of the room before she could protest any further. "Scarlet, you better listen to mommy when you come out." Katniss sighed. She went to the safe and pulled out Bram's story. She began to walk down stairs when Peeta met her half way.

"They want us home." He smiled.

"Have you seen the kids?"

"Not yet, only these two." He said referring to Bram and Scarlet.

"They'll be in school,"

"On a holiday?" He asked skeptically.

"Holiday?"

"Today was the signing of the treaty between Oceania and us. Also the day Paylor was sworn into office."

"What's today?"

"September twentieth."

"Bram's birthday is tomorrow." Katniss said climbing into the driver's side of the car. Peeta looked at her strangely.

"What?" She asked.

"You drive?"

"Yeah, get in." She laughed.

"Are you any good?" He asked.

"I'm capable!" She said backing out, "We were wondering why you were so late." She said turning onto the street.

"Well to make a long story short. I was in the air carrier with all of the others going home and we were almost shot down and we had to land in Sydney for a bit. I met your regiment, by the way."

"You've met them before."

"Well I met their families and those kids from Insanity."

"Aren't they extraordinary?"

"Well second after our own."

"True." She agreed. In the small spell of silence she dared to ask a question, "Peeta?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry, for fighting...Twice"

He was silent for a moment, "I just... I want to know why you did it."

"Which time?" She asked hoping for a laugh that did not come.

"Here you were fighting for our children, for their immediate protection. But... Why before?"

"... It's honestly not a good reason." She said, "I-... I just, realized that I wasn't the most important thing. That having a baby would have to be second behind the war.

"I was fighting battles constantly for two years Peeta. I have seen things I will never tell you about. That if I tried to tell you about, I'd go insane.

"And I also realized that this world is no place for an innocent vulnerable baby. I started to wonder if its life would even be worth living... I just started to think it would be better off not even trying." She felt guilty now.

He nodded, "Do you still feel that way?"

She thought of her mother, "Sometimes." She knew how much her mother loved her, and to think back at how awful she had treated her... She could hardly bear it.

"Don't," He sounded very sad now, "Please don't think that ever again, life is worth a shot." She didn't answer.

Upon arriving at the house Peeta held all three of the children who ran to him.

"Look what Kitty Kat dragged in." Jo walked out of the house with Gale.

"I know, he showed up just as I managed to set fire to the ovens." Katniss said.

They all herded inside and spent the day talking to Peeta about war affairs. When Jo and Gale went up to bed Katniss turned to Peeta.

"Can you follow me?" She asked fishing Bram's book from its hiding place.

"Anywhere" He smiled. She led him into his painting room. "You caught me." He laughed examining all the paintings she had laid out.

"Sit down." She laughed taking a seat herself. "I want you to paint something for the baby."

"I'll need to know the gender for that love." He contradicted her.

"You know what, you can ask me three questions to figure out the gender. None of those can be direct questions and they have to be yes or no." He gave a few moments of thought.

"Did you pick out a name for her yet?"

"Yes."

"It's a girl." He smiled placing his hand on her stomach.

"What?"

"You picked out HER name."

"...I'm ashamed of myself."

"Another little princess." Peeta smiled.

"Yeah." Katniss nodded. He spent a few moments simply rubbing Katniss's small stomach whispering tender words of love to his newest princess.

"This is why I want to talk to you." She held up the book Bram had written in. He looked at it curiously.

"What is it?" He asked.

"This is Bram's. It has everything he's been through in it." She handed it to him, "You need to read it... You need to know what he and I know."

He nodded and opened it.

"You don't have to read it now" She laughed. "It's almost midnight."

He laughed before closing the book and then returned his attention to the baby. "What did you name her?"

"Scarlet Viviane."

"Scarlet Viviane?"

"She likes Scarlet and mom picked out Viviane back when I was still pregnant with Peony."

"So why did you pick it?"

"I know mother would like it."

"Why does that matter? Not to sound rude but why?" He looked so ignorant and confused. Katniss felt her eyes well up at the thought of the woman who gave birth to her laying under ground in eternal slumber.

She suddenly realized he must not know. "My mother is dead Peeta" He suddenly looked extremely hurt and saddened. She let a tear fall, "Damned hormones" She said.

"Oh Katniss" He took her in his arms, "I'm so sorry, I didn't... I didn't"

"Shh Peeta it's okay."

"I'm an insensitive bastard."

"Yes you are," She chuckled, "but Peeta,"

"Hmm?"

"The baby can hear you." She smiled with good humor.

"Hi Scarlet." He said and Katniss allowed him to move her shirt so her could place his hands on the baby. "I'm your daddy, and I know I've been a little busy lately but it was all for you and mommy and your siblings. I can't wait to meet you" He kissed the baby tenderly.

She smiled down at him. "I'm going to need a bigger canvas." He said looking around the room, "And a lot more paint."

"I think that can be arranged." She assured the moment his hand moved Scarlet began to turn over in her sleep. "Good morning Scarlet, go back to sleep now." She whispered fondly.

He turned around and placed his hand where the baby moved, "Scarlet, you're my little girl." He said again to the baby.

Katniss smiled, "Honey." Katniss said taking his free hand, "Everything will be okay, right?"

He pulled her to his lips, "Everything will be perfect love. Everything."

"Then why am I always so afraid?"

He chuckled at this, "Because you're a mom, and great moms always worry." He kissed her again this time allowing their lips to lock for longer than before.

When they pulled apart she looked towards one of the paintings of Peony. "God where did the time go?"

He wrapped his arms around her.

"It seems like yesterday I wasn't sure if you loved me or if it was all a ploy to win the games."

"I'm glad it wasn't yesterday." He whispered brushing his lips against her forehead.

"Me too." She patted his arm and she could feel her tiredness in her motions. "Peeta, do you still think about all of that? The Games? The War?"

"Everyday, every time I see this ring on my finger. Every time I think of flowers or see berries. Every time I think about you or the kids. Every time I think about our friendships, the Capitol, the world. It has become us but in a way I can tolerate it.

"I still some times dream of you being taken from me." He whispered.

"Which time? I've been taken quite often." He laughed at this.

"I think about how happy I am every time I find you. How lucky I am to have you as my wife and as the mother of my children."

She kissed him, "I've missed you Peeta."

"I've missed you too love."

"Are you tired?"

"Not really, but I think you and Scarlet need your rest." He smiled down at the baby.

"Come on." She patted his leg to ask for help.

He helped her stand and smiled fondly when she could hardly stand on her own.

He walked her up to their bed room and laid down with her.

Though with his body clock on Australia time he did not sleep instead he stayed up all night reading the adventures of one very brave eleven year old boy.


	25. Chapter 25

_Hey! I am going to be posting some new stories soon that I think you may enjoy. They'll be posted later in the month but they're called,_

_Ignorance is Bliss_

_Don't Be my Romeo_

_and The Darkest Corner_

_All are Hunger Games, all are different in their own right. If y'all are interested please tell me because I love you. Also I've decided to become a BETA just because so if y'all would like an editor, I'm free as of now. Continue my dearest._

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In the morning Katniss found Peeta asleep by her side. She felt his hands resting over Scarlet. She laughed a bit looking down at his sleep heavy hand, one over their daughter and the other holding his place in Bram's book.

She slipped it from his hand and found he had finished it. He moved slightly as she got up.

"Morning?" He asked groggily.

"Yep, Australia time?"

"Yes."

"Sucks huh?"

"Yes." He climbed out of bed and kissed her. "How are my girls?"

"Scarlet isn't awake yet." She whispered placing her hand over the baby.

He smiled and gently let his fingers brush against her stomach. "I can't wait for her." He said.

"You want a reenactment of Leif's birth? That was traumatizing" Katniss laughed.

"Well maybe she should stay there until she can breathe on her own." He got on his knees and kissed the baby.

"Come on" She laughed, "We have other things to do today."

"No we don't" He stood up and took her hands. "We have today off."

"Really?" She asked skeptically. "What about-"

"Katniss," He laughed taking her hands. "I have everything planned." She raised her eye brows. "I do."

"Okay." She nodded, "Let's get the kids to school-"

"Gale and Jo have that covered."

"Then lets-"

"Katniss." He laughed again, "I have everything planned, all you have to do is be there."

"Can I shower?"

"I think I can allow that" He let her go and when she had showered she found an orange dress laying out on the bed.

To humor him she slipped it on. When she looked at herself in the mirror she smiled. "Welcome to your sixth month Scarlet." She said circling her daughter as the little princess woke up.

She walked down the stairs to greet her husband. "Hello beautiful." He took her waist and kissed her.

"You shaved" She said running her hand along his jaw.

"You asked me to."

She jolted forward a bit, "Princess don't kick mommies kidney." He smiled fondly at their little one.

"Good morning Scarlet." He said sweetly. He looked up and kissed his wife again. "Are you ready?"

"Yes" She nodded. He took her hand and led her out of the house and down to the forest. "Bird watching?" She asked jokingly.

"Come on." He led her down through the trees and passed the lake. He took her up one hill and then another. Soon they could see far past Twelve's woods.

"Peeta it's beautiful." She said sitting down. "I almost forgot what these woods looked like." She said.

"It's amazing how different the world looks as time passes." He said sitting next to her.

"Why did you bring me here?"

"I just... I want to talk. Seriously talk."

"About what?"

"Well, a few things. Like, um... Bram for one thing."

She nodded, "He's a fighter."

"He's, just a kid Katniss."

"I understand that."

"Then why did you show him our games?"

"Because, he'd already seen a few, I wanted him to trust me." She shook her head, "He was very receptive. I was surprised at how trusting he really was." She thought for a little bit before biting her lower lip, "Peeta, how are we going to tell our children?"

"Hmm?"

"How will we tell them about the games? The rebellion? This war? Everything. Peony's almost ten now. we'll have to tell her sooner or later." Katniss began to cry.

"Shh, don't cry." He brought her to his chest.

"How will we tell our children we killed other people to get to where we are?"

"Well... Not like that." He assured her.

"They'll be teaching the kids about the games in school at some point Peeta. We can't let strangers tell our children we are killers."

"Hey" He took her chin and lifted her face up to his. "We are not killers and don't ever tell yourself that."

"Peeta, I've killed hundreds of crippled children, shot at men on opposing sides of a war. I am a killer."

"You were protecting your family."

"In the games-"

"You were trying to protect Prim and your mother."

"Look what good that did. My mom is dead and my baby sister is crippled."

"You couldn't help that."

"I started the war."

"I like to think I helped with that." He laughed kissing the top of her head.

"... You know, I didn't understand my mother until I had Peony. Now I want her back. I want her back even if she were in that depression she had after my dad died."

He smoothed down her hair and kissed her, "She's still here Katniss. She is. She's watching you and making sure that little Scarlet has her grandmothers spirit with her forever."

"I wish I believed that."

"Its easy." He assured her. And he is right, it is easy to think those who have left us still remain by our sides. It is easy to hope that they never leave us.

They talked for a while longer until noon had passes into mid day. "We should get back." Katniss said having Peeta help her to her feet.

"You know what I just realized?"

"Hmm?"

"Scarlet will be a Christmas present." Katniss put her hand over the baby. His eyes lit up at her words.

"It will be the best Christmas ever." He assured her. They walked back into town and Katniss stopped in at the bakery to say hello and happy birthday to Bram.

She slipped his book back into the safe before they left.

She felt so lucky to have everything she did. She had two beautiful children and friends who loved her.

She had a husband who loved her more than his own life, she had everything. Well she thought she did.

"This just in, on the war front. The siege of headquarters is at a standstill and we have information that the head in charge of the siege General Finnick Odair was captured in battle."

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_Hey Love, so this was short but don't worry once I'm done reading Romeo and Juliet for class everything will get a bit... Different. ;) cruelty looks bad on everyone no? Sorry had to end it there but you know, cliffhangers are good every now and then. Stay lovely!_


	26. Chapter 26

_Guys holy crap 90 reviews... *faints*_

Peeta had painted the sunset in Scarlets room, before he was called back to the front lines to man the war front. He'd only been home two weeks. He and Jo were to be sent back to the war zone.

The night before Katniss couldn't stop crying, "I'll be home for Scarlets birth I promise." He tried to console her.

"I think we're running out of miracles Peeta." She said with tears illuminating her face. "You almost died the last time. In the same battle."

"Do you know how many times you almost died on me?"

She laughed, "You'll be in battle constantly if and when it starts up again."

"I know." He kissed her tears as they fell. "I know."

"The kids, Prim, and Gale are going to comfort Annie. I'll be here with Bram worrying about my husband twenty four seven."

"Shh, I've always come back. Always. I love you too much to leave you and the kids."

"What if you get captured like Finnick? Oh poor Annie."

"I won't get captured."

"But-"

"Shh Katniss, don't worry about me." His hand drifted to their princess, "Keep Scarlet safe, keep yourself safe." She sobbed into his chest.

In the silence they could hear the faint discussion between Gale and Jo. "What about our son Jo?" He whispered.

"What about the rest of the world Gale?" She sighed. They were not angry by their tone of voice, then seemed sad and lost really.

"You've left us so many times Jo. He's really growing up with out a mother."

"Do you think I'm doing that on purpose Gale? You and Hunter are my world but what choice do I have?"

"... Can you tell me what this is?"

"..."

"Jo, is this a pregnancy test?" His voice was calm and not like his at all.

"..."

"Jo?" He sounded so defeated.

"Yes."

"Is this a positive pregnancy test?"

"..."

"Johanna-"

"Gale please." Jo suddenly sounded afraid.

"Are you pregnant?"

"Those things are wrong all the time-"

"Are you pregnant?"

"... I'm not sure. The first I took was positive the second was negative."

"Jo-"

"Honest. I swear Gale. I'm not sure."

Katniss stopped listening to their conversation, it hurt her too much. She was too afraid. "I love you." She whispered over and over. "I love you... I love you... I love you."

"Shh, Katniss it's okay. I'll be fine."

"That doesn't change the fact that I love you and you need to know." She claimed wiping her tears away.

"I already know you love me Katniss." He kissed her again, "I already know."

The next morning she was all smiles for her departing family. "Mommy, are you going to come and stay with us and Aunt Annie?"

"No princess." She crouched to the ground as Leif ran into her arms, "But next month I'll come down." She kissed her little girl and sent her to stand with Gale who was saying goodbye to Jo with Hunter in his arms.

"So Leif are you going to be a big boy while your away?"

"Yeah!" He bounced, "Me and Hunter are going to play ALL day!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" He kissed his mothers cheek and ran off to stand with his best friend.

Prim hugged her big sister. "I'll see you in a month."

"Bye little duck." She laughed as Prim took her bags and limped to the children.

"Bye Gale." She gave him a quick hug.

"Take care of the little sucker until Christmas." He laughed.

"I will don't worry about me." He walked onto the train with the three kids and waved as they departed.

Peeta and Jo stood beside her. "Take care of yourself Kitty Kat. Keep out of trouble."

"I'll do my best Jo." She nodded.

"My little Scarlet can handle just about everything." Peeta smiled.

"A girl!" Jo smiled.

"Yes Jo, a girl" Katniss chuckled.

"I knew I was right." The train for District one pulled in and the two said their final goodbyes to Katniss.

Once the train had pulled out she placed her hands over her baby. "Well Scarlet, Seems we're alone. My little Princess, you're safe okay?" He daughter kicked her as if to say "Okay mommy."

She walked back to the bakery so she could continue her routine. When she stepped inside the nauseating smell of burning bread filled her nostrils.

She coughed a bit holding back her vomit before entering the kitchen. Smoke escaped the oven and she ripped out the blackened bread with her bare hands, hardly burning them.

"Bram?" She heard a low groan. She walked behind the counter. "Bram!" She shouted when she found him on the ground grimacing. "Bram can you hear me? Bram!?"

"... Huh?" He asked opening his dark green eyes, his Kingdom given eyes.

"Bram are you okay!? Bram." She shook his head and he groaned again.

"Are-... Are you-... A nurse?" He asked.

"Bram"

"Did we win?" He asked.

"Bram tell me what you're thinking?"

"... Did I bring honor to the Kingdoms?" His usually light green eyes were now the color of an almost black forest.

"Bram can you hear me?" He said nothing his eyes drooped and his breathing became more intense. She cradled him in her arms and brought him upstairs. "Bram you need to wake up yourself." She took his head and shook him. "Do you understand me you are not a drone of the kingdoms!"

He was unconscious though, and could not hear her. She went back to the front of the store. She baked as best she could while handling customers as well.

She spent her little free time taking care of Bram who was developing a high fever rapidly.

She spent the night by his bed doing all that she could to keep his fever manageable. She took an hour long nap before cleaning the bakery and baking a fresh batch of everything. Upon taste testing she found it was close enough to Bram's and her husbands cooking. She knew it wasn't the same, but she could do nothing about it.

This cycle went on for two weeks. Little sleep, most of her time spent calming Bram when he would think he was in the Kingdoms. Baking in the bakery, and then selling as much as she could.

She knew this was bad for both her and Scarlet but what choice did she have? She didn't have one. She couldn't leave because if Bram woke up thinking he was in the Kingdoms nothing could be done.

One day in early October Delly came by the store. "Hi Katniss" She smiled sadly.

"Hi Dell, what can I get you?" She asked wiping her forehead of any sweat.

"Can we talk? You don't look so good Katniss" Delly took her out back of the Bakery and sat her down "Are you okay?"

"No Delly." She shook her head. "I'm not at all okay." She started to cry, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay Katniss, you don't have to be brave for anyone."

"It's just, everything is not how I planned it. And I'm over reacting."

"I'm sure your not."

"I'm just letting my stupid pregnant brain make everything harder."

"Hey, your stupid pregnant brain has nothing to do with it. There is a war, your husband and best friend were just sent off to the front lines, and one of your close friends was captured by the Kingdoms. This is not your fault."

Katniss kept crying until the earth rumbled underneath them. They both looked up and off in the distance they saw air carriers land. There were troops patrolling the forests already, the fighting must have come to them.

"Oh god!" Katniss cried.

"What- What-..."

"Delly the war is here." Katniss said wiping her eyes.

"But-"

"Delly, the war has come to us. The Kingdoms are trying to kill us." Katniss stood up and walked inside.

"What do we do?"

"Business as usual." Katniss said nodding to herself trying to convince herself of the idea. "What else can we do?" She asked.

Delly nodded, "I'm going to pick up my kids from school." Delly ran outside to her car. Katniss took a deep breath and continued to pull out the fresh rolls for anyone who came to her door.

The television in the bakery snapped on and Katniss tried to ignore it. However it was incredibly hard to ignore.

"War has broken out on the front lines. The Kingdoms are unleashing total war on us. They have landed in districts Seven, Nine, and Twelve. As of now Seven and Nine have won their battles." It was president Paylor. Katniss knew everything was going bad if Paylor was doing this.

"They have started a blockade going into district Twelve. Please stick to regulations as given to you by district. We are doing everything we can to drive them out of Panem." The television snapped off. Katniss sighed and continued business as usual.

Until about six she broke down and called Annie's house.

"Hello?" She knew Gale had picked up.

"Gale?" She asked with a quiver in her voice.

"Catnip? What's wrong?"

"Gale, have you seen..."

"No, we were all to scared to watch it. What happened? Are Jo and Peeta alright?"

"It's not about them Gale it's about the districts...My district."

"What?"

"There's been fighting here. Since about noon and I can still see the gun fire outside. I want you to tell my kids I love them."

"Catnip-"

"And that I love everyone over there. I don't know when I'll be able to talk to you all again, and I don't know what's going to happen but you all need to know I'm safe."

"Catnip are you really going to stay there? If there's fighting-"

"They blockaded us in Gale." She cried lightly. "I don't know what to do. But I promise when I can I'll call you."

"Oh god Catnip." He sounded near tears.

"I-" She saw Delly running up to the bakery with her children. "I have to go" She turned off the phone and ran to her friend. "Delly-"

"Oh Katniss." Delly sighed, "Kids go inside."

"Delly what's going on?" Katniss asked bringing her distraught friend inside.

"Mark is dead." She cried silent pained tears.

"Oh Delly."

"And the Kingdoms are so close to us bullets were getting passed the fence and into my house." She cried when her children were in the backyard.

"God Delly, I'm so sorry." Katniss consoled, "I... I don't know what else to say." Delly cried into her friends shoulder.

"What am I going to tell my kids? What am I going to do?"

"You are going to stay here and you are going to stay strong for me, and for your kids okay?"

Delly didn't say anything, so Katniss helped her up the stairs and laid her in one of the bedrooms. Katniss fed and put the children to bed. She calmed Bram's Kingdom thoughts and lulled him to sleep.

The next morning, the fighting had drawn everyone on the edge of the district into town. Katniss and the other shop owners assigned different households to everyone. They were lucky they had enough room.

She and Delly ran the bakery as best they could making only the necessity. Katniss knew that they had been lucky to have gotten a load of ingredients before the blockade.

Over the weeks Katniss was no longer charging and she began to make a rounds to give everyone enough to sustain them for the day. There was hardly anything that could be done as the fighting grew closer and closer to their boarder. Bram's fever was gone but his attacks became longer.

It took Katniss slapping him to get his head right again. He never complained he only apologized.

On the day of December tenth the Kingdoms took a very dangerous stride.

Katniss watched everyone run to the bomb shelter, she herself ran carrying a very weak Bram.

She had locked up the bakery and was holding Jacobs hand as she ran. She lifted the children to the others already in the shelter.

"Is everyone down there?" She asked as Delly climbed down.

"Mama, where's Raylee?" One of the children asked.

"Only Raylee, and Ricky Katniss." Melanie sighed.

"I'll be back" She said running as best she could out to the Mayors house. On her way she passed an open fire dangerously close to the fence. "Ricky!? Raylee!?" She called out. The house was so big she didn't know how she'd possibly find them.

"Ricky! Raylee!" She shouted again, the little girl showed herself. "Raylee where is your brother?" She asked picking up the little girl. She pointed around the corner where Ricky was hiding. "Ricky come here." The little boy ran into her arms sobbing.

"You're safe now okay?" She ran outside with the two. She could feel fatigue and despair fill her. She heard every gun shot fire, she could hear shouts of falling soldiers, both Kingdom and Oceanic.

The children's tears soaked her shirt through. When she passed the two down to the other women she climbed in as well hearing the sirens of a bombing go off.

When she closed the cell doors she sighed heavily.

"Katniss I put the children in the room from last time." One of the women spoke up.

"What do we do Katniss?"

"Do we fight?"

"Do we stay here?"

"What's happening?"

"Katniss?"

"I don't know." She turned around and fell on the steps. "I don't know what to do." She began to cry and everyone was silent.

Delly went to her side, "Hey it's okay Katniss. It's okay."

"Tell me Delly what the hell is okay about this? My family is another district, my husband and best friend are fighting god knows how long and where, we are being bombed, the war is right at our door steps, and I haven't felt my baby kick in days and I think she's dead." Katniss shook her head. "I don't have any idea what to do, I am scared and..." The shelter rumbled as bombs fell.

Everyone looked around suddenly feeling fear that maybe there was nothing left to do. That maybe they had run out of miracles.

Have you ever felt that? Like you've run out of chances and all that's left is... Fear?

Katniss wiped her eyes as the rumbling increased, "Everyone in the store room. If we're going to cut them off it has to be where our ammo is." Everyone shuffled into the stock room. Katniss picked up a pistol and loaded it.

"What are you doing?" Melanie asked.

"Protecting everyone. Stay safe." She said closing the door behind her.

"Katniss!"

"Lock the door Melanie."

"K-"

"Lock the door!" She shouted. No further protest came from the door. Katniss stepped into the shadow of the cellar waiting for a sound, or anything to tell her what was happening.

She heard the cellar door break open. "You have this by yourself rookie?"

"Yeah I've got it." A boy no older than twelve stepped in. He had dark almost black curled hair and dead Kingdom blue eyes "Hello?" He shouted. Katniss could hear a battle being held outside.

She stepped forward. "You're too late." She said defiantly.

He lifted his rifle as if to shoot her but she could tell it wasn't loaded. "Who are you and where are the others?"

"They've all escaped." She said.

"What? How? They couldn't have-... You're lying aren't you?"

"What's your name?"

"No asking questions!" He shouted. "The Kingdoms will have this place won in no time."

"Really is that what they told you?"

"Yes." He growled.

"Did they tell you who I am?"

"..."

"I'm Lieutenant Colonel Katniss Everdeen-Mellark. And if you have any sense at all," She pulled out her pistol, "You'll do exactly what I tell you."

"... But-but... That's impossible!"

"Not impossible dear just highly unlikely. You don't have to drop that pretty piece of metal I know it's not loaded. But close the cellar door." She made it known to the boy she had ammunition. He did as she told him.

"Please sit." She told him gesturing to the only open chair. He did so. "What's your name?"

He didn't answer. "I'll ask again, what is your name?"

"... James" He said sounding scared.

"James..." She suddenly wondered and very unlikely thought, "Are you from the Jewish town in Denmark?"

"... How did you know that?"

"I know a lot of things I shouldn't know." She said quietly. "James listen to me, I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yeah right you're from the districts you hurt everyone!"

"No I don't James listen to me, I know your friend Bram. Do you remember him? Bram"

"Bram..." The boy looked down his dark Kingdom eyes flashed a pale blue. "Bram..." He looked up again blinking away the bright blue, "He's dead. He died here!"

"No he didn't he's alive." The more she fed him the brighter his eyes became, she was causing his chip to malfunction. "Bram is here right now. I've kept him safe."

His eyes still fought to be blue, "Bram-... But they said."

"I know about Victoria, your quote on quote girl friend."

"How do you-" His eye were fading in and out of their dark and pale blues.

"Bram wrote that letter and was taken away from your village... And, you and him had a secret hiding place in the school." She watched his pupils dilate and eat away at the different shade of contrasting blues.

"Lacey Pembroke. The girl you had a crush on through out school. I know about her too."

"Lacey" he whispered. Tears leaked down his face and now his eyes were completely clear.

Katniss crouched to his level, "The Kingdoms put a chip in your brain to wash your mind of any free will. You are still you James. Come back to me. I need you to be yourself."

"... Where am I?" He asked looking up and around the dim room.

Katniss sighed in relief. "You're safe and that's all you need to know James." She climbed up and locked the cellar as best she could.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Katniss Mellark, I need you to help save our friend Bram."

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_Surprise! I love you and as always Stay Lovely!_


	27. Chapter 27

_Wow, just wow y'all are fantastic and quick note. Um yeah I'm not bilingual so the Finnish in here is curtsey of Google translate. _

_And sorry about this being so late. I'm just sick and it's not fun at all. I'm the definition of forever alone as I will be spending V-day sick in bed and alone. XD hope yours is better than mine though that isn't hard to beat at this point._

_See you at the end!_

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"What do you mean?" James asked, "Bram is he-"

"Bram is slowly loosing his grip on reality. He's been fading in and out of his Kingdom thoughts and his own." James nodded. "Come with me." She said lifting him from his chair.

"Where?" He asked.

She didn't answer but knocked on the door where all of the children had been herded. "Hello? Its Katniss," No response came, "Can you let me in?"

The door slowly opened for her. She looked and saw Exie standing in the door way. "Are you here to make that boy stop?"

"Stop what sweetie?" Exie pointed to one of the beds where Bram was seizing. "Oh god Bram." Katniss ran to his side, she pinned his shoulders down and focused on his cold dark eyes. "Can you hear me? Bram" She shook him rigorously.

"Where-... Where... Is the next one..." He stuttered.

"James" Katniss called behind her. James walked up to her side, the poor little eleven year old boy had tears in his pale blue eyes. "Say something to him."

"... B-B-Bram... Bram, it's me" He let out a shaky chuckle "kanni... Remember?"

Bram's breathing slowed as his eyes cleared, "James..." He smiled when his eyes were again his own. "You're not dead!"

"You're not dead!" James retaliated. The hugged each other tightly as brothers who had lost one another and were found again.

Katniss sighed and admired the two boys. She smiled warmly at them when Exie ran into her arms. The ground rumbled again and the children flocked near her.

"It's okay everyone." She assured them. She lifted one of the little ones onto her hip. "Are you all tired?" They all nodded, she knew it must have been passed midnight at that point.

"How about you all grab a bed or sleeping bag and I'll tell you a story okay?" They all meandered around the room.

"Kanni, what... What are you doing here? How are you-"

James chuckled, "My regiment is up there. But I have a feeling that all those years of beating you at hide and seek will help out."

"Hey I've done a good job hiding."

"Yeah sure sonni" James retaliated. "... Bram, there's something you need to know."

"Hmm?"

"... There was a bomb dropped during the Shavu'ot festival. Two days before actually." James looked down sadly as he started to cry "I had already been drafted... No one survived."

Bram looked at his friend sadly, "Does that mean-"

"Mama and Papa and-and Sara, and Lisa, and Victoria, and even Felecia they're all-"

Bram clutched his friend to his chest so his friend could sob into his shoulder. "Don't speak further. Se on okei, Kaikki on kunnossa" Katniss turned her attention to the rest of the children.

"Okay, well... What would you like me to tell you?" Katniss asked. No one said anything. "Alright..." She smiled and looked at all of the children. She began the story of The Little Princess. Exaggerated fairy tales, and the magic of innocence.

The children were highly engaged, and were probably more awake as she continued the story from memory.

When the earth rumbled Katniss looked up and smiled, "Did you feel that?" She asked, "A dragon just landed over us to scare away the bad guys."

"Really!?" The children asked engrossed in the fantasy.

"Yes! The soldiers are fighting to save ALL of the Princesses and Princes."

"Where are they?"

"Why, they're all down here."

"No way! You're fibbing."

"No, it's true. Each and every one of you are Princes and Princesses in your own right. You may not all look the same, think the same, or act the same. But that's because all princes and princesses are true to themselves." They were all delighted at this. She finished the story and let them all rest.

Bram and James had fallen asleep with tears staining their cheeks. Katniss felt her heart-break looking at their... State.

She closed the door and found the other women baricading the cellar. "The kids are fine." She said when everyone acknowledged her presence.

"What... What happened?" Delly asked.

"I'm not really sure you would understand if I tried to explain." Katniss wiped her eyes out of exhaustion. "All I can say is that, we're safe."

Which was a total lie and they all knew it. Their home had been converted into a war zone, They only had survival kits to live off of for god knows how long.

Days passed with the strain of constant war over their heads. Katniss sat down with Bram and James during her free time.

James was trying to recall his last months in the Kingdoms, "I know that Lacey is still herself."

"How?" Bram asked.

"When we thought you were dead... She blamed herself entirely." James looked down at his feet, "She begged me to not let them enlist me. She literally was on her knees begging me. But I didn't have a choice."

"Neither did I James." Bram reassured. Bram told his friend what he had been through and his life in the district.

"Bram... Do you think that we have any chance of winning?"

"We as in?"

"The Kingdoms,"

"No... They're fighting with robots not men with spirit."

"We, Bram."

"No James. When a Country turns its back on the good of the people and instead looks only for the welfare of itself. A Country isolates itself and no one is part of it."

James looked at his hands, "You know I think Lacey was trying to tell me something before I enlisted.

"She was on the television in school and she was smiling. She began to talk about herself and the interviewer ridiculed her because she had began to talk about her opinions.

"She laughed, 'I know this may be hard for someone like you to believe but children are people. Children are people who live without consequence in a world that only knows consequence. Children are people who live in the world of fantasy, even though their surrounding environment is tearing at the seems with reality.

" 'It maybe hard for you to believe this but children understand when they're being yelled at and scolded for doing everything wrong. They understand when they have done something wrong, however childhood is our infinity. Childhood is our ideal world, and it is the time we will always reference no matter how old we grow.

" 'Though now our childhood is ripped from us because of people who do not understand. People who do not understand that we are children and therefore we are more alive than we will ever be.' The television snapped off then." James concluded his story very heavily. "I still don't quite know why she said that in her interview. I still don't know why they were so afraid of her spoken mind..."

And you know, I'm not sure why adults are afraid of children. I don't understand quite why teachers and adults laugh at children, or why they yell ceaselessly at teenagers. I don't understand quite why people think that yelling at them will change anything.

The simple truth is that teenagers and children test their boundaries. They attempt things and see the world from many different places and through many eyes. Is it so wrong to mess up? Is it so wrong to have curiosity?

To return to our story, the barricade created by the women of district twelve had been made with weak and decaying wood. Parts began to break every time there was a rumble of earth above them.

They all finally decided to take down the decaying wood and rely on their hopes that the Kingdoms would not invade their sanctuary.

Katniss felt it was strange to only hope something bad wouldn't happen. They had been cut off from the rest of the world for three months. She wondered about the rest of the world, what else might have been happening. It normally made her head hurt and so she stopped thinking about it quickly.

Katniss had been sitting in the cellar crying as the other mothers tended to their children when it finally happened.

She heard the creaking of the cellar doors begin to open. She ran to them and held them shut.

"Is there someone down there?" A voice called out. "Is there anyone down there?"

Katniss gasped for breath as she used every bit of strength she had to keep the door closed.

"Go away." She whispered slightly to herself and to mostly to them. She had been bleeding that morning, she knew her little Scarlet had died.

"Hey! There are people down there!" The voice shouted. "Please let us in, we're from Oceania." The other woman had come out of the children's room and were now standing around in shock.

"Where are you from?" Katniss asked weary of this instance.

"I'm from district five ma'am please let us in." The man said calmly.

"If you're from district five... Then who were your tributes in the seventy-fourth Hunger Games?"

"... Well you didn't know our boy very well. But you refered to our girl as Foxface." Katniss breathed heavily. He was right but she was still afraid. She opened the cellar doors to see the blinding sunlight, the snowy wind whipped across the mans face.

"We're here to evacuate you." He said. "Is that all of you?"

"No" Katniss said. They gathered all the children and carried them out into the blizzard. The district was still destroyed with the war. Buildings stood with bullet holes and blood splatters. The snow was upturned and light brown in color.

"Bram, James stay close to me alright?" The two boys nodded and shivered in the cold. There was a hover craft that everyone had been loaded onto. There were medics on board and Katniss immediately knew what she had to do.

"I need to see the head in charge here." She said.

One doctor helped her to the front of the air carrier where she explained Bram and James to him, "I need you to get us somewhere with a good working hospital. These boys need to get those chips out of their brains."

"We couldn't possibly-"

"Please" She cut him off, "I need you to try. I've been told no, and it's impossible for as long as I can remember. I don't care. I need you to try."

He nodded. "The only place with that kind of equipment on hand is the Capitol, I can't guarantee anything but I'll get in contact with them and see if anything can be arranged."

"Thank you"

"Well, consider it an early Christmas present."

"What?"

"Its Christmas Eve."

"We've been underground for two weeks?" She asked. The doctor didn't say anything but nodded instead.

She took a seat as he left and she began to cry again. He baby was dead, her family hadn't known what had happened to her for months, what else could go wrong? Was this her punishment for trying to kill her little princess all those weeks ago?

She felt pain stab her back but she didn't move. She deserved to be in pain.

She spent half of her time on the air carrier crying before finally standing up and walking around the carrier to make sure everyone was taken care of.

"Does anyone know where we're going?"

"They're making stops in all the districts just in case anyone has family waiting for them" Delly answered, "I'm going to Thirteen to be with Marks family."

Katniss nodded and offered a sympathetic smile. She didn't say anything else, when they announced they'd be landing in District Four. Katniss got up from her seat, James and Bram joined her. "Katniss, What are we going to do?" Bram asked.

"You're going to stay with the doctor okay?"

"No... Katniss you've been with me since... No" He cried as he went into her arms.

"Bram." She sighed. The head doctor she had spoken too saw her predicament.

"I'll call you when the arrangements have been made." He said.

She nodded "Bram stop crying, you can come with me okay? I won't leave you, I promise." The boy nodded and clutched her hand. She led the two boys out to the landing pad. The moment they did they were blinded by darkness before taking notice of the mob of people below her.

There was a collective roar of people shouting different names. She didn't hear any real words that fit together and made sense.

She then felt arms around her and tears in her shoulder. Kat! Oh my god Kat!"

"P-Prim?"

"Come on Kat let's go." Prim pulled away from her sister. She led her and the two boys away from the screaming crowd.

Katniss realized the pain she had felt on and off on the air carrier had indeed been contractions. Her dead baby needed to come out of her.

She thought just how morbid and sick that must sound, but it was all honest. Prim led her and the two boys through a few empty streets before they happened upon Annie and Finnick's Victor Village home.

Katniss entered the house, she heard frantic and fearful voices ring through the house.

Annie was the first in the room, she'd clearly been crying. "Katniss!" She managed to say before clinging to her friend as she wept.

"Catnip." Gale smiled upon entering the main hallway, "You damn well gave us a heart attack."

"Sorry, there isn't reception under ground." She said sarcastically.

"Mommy!" Peony and Leif ran into the room and into Katniss's arms.

She lifted them both and kissed their cheeks. "Don't cry Mommy's here. Mommy's here." She soothed her small children.

"We're all so happy you're safe." Annie choked out eventually she smiled sweetly at her close friend.

Katniss set her children down and Prim led them, Bram, and James up to their bed room. At which point Katniss began to cry.

"It was awful, oh god it was awful." Annie held her friend tightly.

"I know Katniss," She stroked her hair, "You're not there anymore." Katniss sobbed for a minute before Annie said anything, "Katniss we have a surprise for you." She whispered.

Katniss wiped her eyes and allowed Annie to lead her into the living room. The room was decorated well, the tree adorned with red and gold tinsel as well as many ornaments. But probably the best thing in this well decorated room was Katniss's husband sitting at the foot of the tree placing presents underneath.

"Merry Christmas love." He smiled at her. She didn't even bother to move. She continued to weep and he walked to her side. "You're safe." He assured her taking her sobbing figure into his arms. "I promise everything will be okay now."

He walked her to the couch and took a seat. She cried until sobbing brought her fatigue and exhaustion. "Better? He asked.

She shook her head no, she felt the weight of the world still vaguely present even though she wasn't under ground any more. She clutched her husband as she cried, she was almost convinced this all wasn't real. Not because it was all too good, but because it was all so terrible.

"It's okay Katniss."

"Is this a nightmare?"

"No, it's not." He promised kissing her forehead. Pain seared through her stomach but she again did not act upon it.

"Come on Katniss." Annie said taking her arm, "Let's get you changed and washed up." Katniss allowed her friend to take her up to the last free bedroom in the house. Annie gave her a night-dress and started a shower for her.

Katniss looked at herself in the mirror. She looked seven months pregnant, not nine. She wanted to cry, her little Scarlet had died before being alive. Could she have really wanted that so badly months ago?

She washed and found her pain to be separated by only eight minutes. She couldn't physically cry anymore. She had spent all day crying she couldn't allow herself anymore pointless tears. Crying couldn't bring back her daughter or turn back time.

She walked down the stairs and entered the tree room again, "So... Delly's husband died. That's really where the story starts." She told them about Bram's chip and about every day before the barricade. She told them about James and the man from district five but she did not tell them about Scarlet not kicking anymore, nor did she tell them anything about the blood she had found earlier in the day.

She got through the story without crying at all. Silence fell upon her friends who had tears staining their own faces "I'm tired." She finally spoke up.

Peeta smiled sadly at his wife, he kissed her before helping her off the couch.

By the next day Katniss's contractions were five minutes apart. She still didn't tell anyone.

Bram and James sat on the couch beside her as all of the children opened presents. "If we had known you two boys would be coming we would have gotten you something" Annie said sadly.

"It's fine ma'am we don't celebrate Christmas but thank you." Bram smiled.

Gale looked back at Bram and James, "You don't celebrate Christmas?"

"Don't look so shocked Gale, we didn't celebrate Christmas until after the rebellion." Katniss laughed.

"No we're um..." James looked nervous.

"We're Jewish." Bram finished, "It's okay James, they don't discriminate against religion here." James nodded.

"Mommy" Leif climbed onto his mother's lap. "Look!" He showed her the green elephant he had received from Annie. Elephants were his favorite for some reason or another.

"Go thank your Aunt Annie sweetie." She kissed him and he ran over to his Aunt.

She gave a pinched smile to her family and friends. She still didn't feel deserving of pity for her pain. She ate only a little at breakfast which sparked protests that her baby needed more than the bit she had.

She pretended to eat a bit more but when you're in labor and sick to your stomach at killing the most innocent thing in the world... You tend to not care much about anything.

Gale, Annie, and Peeta got into a conversation about something Katniss couldn't care less about. Half way through the afternoon Katniss abruptly got up from the table and briskly walked to the bedroom her and Peeta had shared the night before.

She closed the door and slid down so she was sitting on the ground. She didn't have the strength to cry at the moment. She didn't have the strength to do anything at all.

"Catnip?" Gale knocked at the door. "You okay?"

"Not in the slightest." She responded through the door.

"What's wrong?" When she didn't respond he asked again, "Catnip tell me what's wrong?"

She let him to the bed room and looked down in shame. How could she look into his eyes now?

"Catnip we're all worried about you, please tell me what's wrong?" Just as she began to think up an answer she was hit with the harsh pain of labor.

She groaned slightly, "Catnip are you-... God damn!" He ran passed her and she heard him make his way down the stairs.

"Don't bother," She said in her normal tone of voice. Peeta and Annie were by her side in a flash.

"Don't worry Katniss, I trained to become a midwife when most of the doctors left for the war and I'll get Prim." Annie assured her.

"Don't bother Annie." Katniss sighed again as Gale reentered the room.

"Katniss we're having a baby today let us take care of you." Peeta said calmly.

"I'm having a corpse Peeta!" She almost screamed in rage. She became hysterical "I haven't felt her kick in weeks and-and I found blood. I killed our little Princess."

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_Well here you are my dear. Stay lovely!_


	28. Chapter 28

_Guys... Guys... GUYS! 100 reviews! Holy shit 100!_

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"I'm so sorry." Her body trembled as she spoke, "I-I don't know what happen. I just know she's not there." Katniss kept her eyes closed not wanting to even see what their faces read.

"Katniss, I'm sure you've just been stressed considering everything you've been through. I'm sure she's fine." Annie soothed.

"Well I'm not" Katniss remarked as her pain slowly subsided.

"Sit down Katniss so I can go get Prim." Annie and Peeta helped her to the bed. Peeta sat next to her stroking her back and soothing her when pain made her whimper.

"I deserve this." She said.

"What?" Peeta asked.

"Pain... Loosing my baby." She gripped Peeta's hand after she said these words.

"No you don't Catnip, no one deserves that." Gale said kneeling in front of her.

"But I-"

"No Catnip listen. You are a good person okay? You may not always do what's right and you may screw up some times but you know what you are a human being. You are allowed to make mistakes. Do you know how many countless lives you've saved? Do you know how much your children love you?

"Catnip you can't be perfect and I know coming from me it sounds weird but we can't. You have to do your absolute best to do what is right for yourself, you can't be constantly worrying about everyone else, We aren't kids anymore Catnip, I know you know that but you have to start acting like it." He was serious.

She looked into his eyes and felt her tears begin to form, "You of all people do not deserve this. If you really lost this baby you lost it saving your district which is completely unfair. And you do not deserve it okay?"

She stared at him with blank eyes, "Okay?"

"Okay" She nodded.

Annie walked back into the room with Prim trailing behind her. Prim and Annie clashed on a few things considering Annie was specifically trained to be a mid wife and Prim was trained in all medical fields but Annie got her way.

"Katniss I'm going to have you walk around for me okay?" Katniss nodded. For countless hours Katniss spent walking around the bedroom and sitting down before walking around again.

This was the longest she had ever been in labor for.

At one point Peony had run in, "Mommy, Mommy!" The little girl bounded to her mother who was walking around the room, "Whach doing?"

"Mommy's a little busy right now princess, what is it?"

"The TV turned on by itself and Uncle Finnick is on it!"

Katniss looked up at Annie and nodded for the rest of them to go see what was happening.

Katniss sat down on the bed and Peony crawled up next to her, "Mommy, when am I gonna meet my little brother or sister?"

Katniss wanted to cry her little girl was dead inside her but she couldn't tell her princess that, "Tomorrow Princess. You'll meet your new little sister."

"I'm getting a little sister?" She asked excitedly.

"Yes, you're going to have to teach her how to be a princess you know." Katniss smiled at her daughter

The little girl put her hands on her mothers stomach, "I'm gonna teach you how to be the best little princess ever!" Peony promised her baby sister.

"Sweetheart go on and play now okay? Mommy has to get ready for the baby."

"Alright mommy, I love you." The little girl kissed her mother before bounding to the door.

"I love you too sweetie."

Gale came back in first, "Well?" Katniss asked him.

"They're using Finnick as a fundraiser." He said simply.

"A fundraiser?"

"Every thousand dollars... Equals one whipping."

"Oh my god." Katniss gagged, "Poor Annie"

"Since they're not planning on giving up until after the new year... We have to be really careful okay?" He looked like he wanted to say more but couldn't get the words out.

"Oh my god tell me this isn't happening." Katniss cried, "Please tell me this isn't real."

"Don't make a liar out of me Catnip"

After that Katniss didn't make a fuss about her labor. She let Annie come back who wanted to only focus on Katniss.

It was midnight before anything changed.

She looked up in pity for her friends, they were tired and the mother in her took over. "You guys should sleep. This is clearly going to take a while." Peeta rubbed her back soothingly.

"I'm fine Katniss. I'm here for you right now." He kissed her though she didn't want to be kissed.

"Prim, Annie, Gale got to bed." She sighed.

"Not moving Catnip."

"Me neither Kat" Prim assured her sister. Annie looked down sadly not wanting her friend to see how pained she was from today's happenings. Just then the wailing of a siren pierced the sound barrier.

"Shit" Katniss hissed.

"Alright everything's okay, we'll just have to get the kids and down to the cellar." Annie said exiting the room

"I'm not leaving." Katniss said, "I'm not going back under ground."

"Catnip-"

"No Gale! You didn't live underground for a month. You weren't there." Her body began to shake at the memory.

"Katniss please this isn't the time for arguments." Peeta stood up.

"I'm not arguing. I'm staying here."

"Katniss-"

"Prim! Gale! Can you come help me with the kids?" Annie called out.

"We'll see you in five minutes Kat" Prim said exiting with Gale at her heel.

"Come on Katniss get up." Peeta took her hands but she did not move.

"I told you Peeta, I'm not going back under ground." This statement was now accompanied with the crippling pain of labor taking her whole body captive.

"Katniss, you have to what if they are actually bombing us?"

"Peeta, I love you but I'm not-"

"Damn it Katniss come on" This time he commanded her. She struggled to stand and when she had finally stood erect she felt a familiar trickle run down her leg. "Peeta-"

"Katniss we have to go."

"Peeta-"

He tried to pull her from her place but she wouldn't move. "Peeta my water broke." She nearly shouted at him in anger and fear. "I can't-"

He put her arm over his shoulders and began to walk her out of the room. She could tell he was enraged, but she could feel his child making its way out of her.

She made it down the first flight of stairs but she knew she would not make it down the second.

"Peeta" She gripped his arm telling him to stop.

"Katniss Peeta come on we're ready!" Annie called up.

"Katniss we have to go!" He yelled at his wife who nearly collapsed as they neared the stairs.

She felt her legs stop working as her child came closer to being born. Her body was ready to have the baby, "Peeta this baby is coming right now." He must have been so mad he didn't hear her. He picked her up instead and carried her out of the house.

When they got into the bunker and the cellar door had been locked Peeta placed his wife on her feet, which she in turn fell on her side screaming in pain.

"Katniss-" Peeta gasped

"I wasn't kidding you fucking idiot, your kid is coming out of me right now." She suddenly couldn't see she could hear the faint question of what was happening to mommy, but she could not see.

She felt someone lift her off the ground which was more excruciating than the whole adventure of getting to this place. She finally opened her eyes again when she was placed in a bed in a secluded room.

"Katniss," Annie said soothingly, "We need you to-" She was interrupted by the shaking of bombs dropping.

"You know Annie I think I'm just going to push this thing out of me okay?"

"N-No Katniss don't do that yet-" Annie said as she ran out of the room. "Peeta! Gale!" She shouted from the room she had just entered.

"It's okay Kat just give her a minute to-" Prim trailed off as she stared out at the door. "Oh God!" She shouted running out to meet Annie.

"What? What's happening?" She called out before pain got the better of her. She gripped at the only thing in her reach until Annie and Peeta came back in the room.

"Alright Katniss come on," Annie said helping her sit up.

"Come on?"

"We have to go, Gale told you earlier about this." Annie said.

"Gale didn't tell me anything other than about Finnick." Katniss looked at her friend now pushing her pain down to a secondary priority. "What's happening?"

"The Kingdoms are trying to pull biological warfare on us. We have to go to Thirteen okay?"

This certainly was not okay. But there really was no choice to make, "Okay" Katniss answered weakly taking both of Peeta's hands and standing roughly. "Let's just go" Katniss sighed. Annie ran from the room and Katniss began to cry "Peeta," She whispered "Please don't leave me"

"I won't leave you Katniss, I promise." He kissed her neck and walked her out of the room.

It was a two-hour walk from District Four to District Thirteen. Katniss walked the majority of the way to District Thirteen by simply gripping her husband's hand at the back of the group.

Bram and James both held one of the twins and kept the rest of the children in line and holding hands.

Katniss tried not to complain or stop the entire way and she made it rather far, until about ten minutes away from the district.

"Stop. Peeta stop." She couldn't take it any more she was drenched in sweat her entire body shook in pain and she could practically feel her child trying to break free from her.

"Katniss come on we only have a few more yards to go." Peeta tried to coax her back on her feet.

"I can't- I can't I can't-" She kept cutting herself off from her own speech as she felt her body give out entirely.

Peeta took her in his arms again, this time however he was not angry he was afraid.

He ran to catch up with the others jostling his wife in painful ways. She gripped his shirt as their child grew closer and closer to the world.

She ground her teeth in an attempt to not scream. When they finally reached the underground district they were met by a soldier who was organizing everyone out. James and Bram were telling Annie they'd take care of the kids until they could meet again.

"Excuse me!" Peeta ran up to the soldier, "Please is there anywhere my wife can have our baby?"

"Name?" The woman asked stiffly.

"Peeta and Katniss Mellark."

The woman looked up into Peeta's eyes, "As in Commander Mellark and-"

"Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen-Mellark yes that's us." Peeta said impatiently. The woman began to talk quickly as she led them to a single roomed apartment.

"This is all I can offer you as of now." She said as Peeta laid his wife on the bed. "Commander you need to come with me. President Paylor has requested all higher ranked officials see her." Katniss felt her husband leave her side.

"Ass" She hissed, "It's fine I'll just, you know, have your kid now." So that was exactly what she did.

She sat up and pushed. It only took one for her to see her child.

Just like that she had her baby in her arms. Just as her gasping quieted she heard a very quite and very distinct coughing sound coming from her baby.

She looked down at the bloody infant laying on her chest. The baby was lightly gripping at its mothers chest.

"What?" She whispered. She was confused this baby wasn't supposed to be alive.

Then the infant began to cry and frankly so did Katniss.

"Oh my god." She whispered to the infant adjusting her in her arms, "My little girl." The little girls mewling cries were like a song to Katniss. Her baby girl was alive. At that point she didn't care what the kingdoms were going to try.

Her little Scarlet Viviane was alive.

* * *

_This is late, I know don't shoot me. I was dying in my bed for the past few days hardly able to see because I was crying out of my right eye only. Here it is though. I hope you enjoyed it, I'll see you Wednesday and as always Stay Lovely!_


	29. Chapter 29

Katniss held the crying infant with a gentle ease. "My sweet princess." Katniss laughed at this, "No you really aren't a princess are you Scarlet Viviane? You're more of a warrior. You're my little fighter."

With her last bit of energy she pulled herself out of bed and pulled down the covers of the bed. She pulled off her night-dress to clean her daughter and then crawled back into the bed to cover the both of them.

The baby stopped crying and only looked lazily at her mother. "I don't think grandma would have ever let her granddaughter die. No. Grandma was always taking care of you Scarlet. I love you so much Scarlet... Mom was right when she picked that name for you baby. Viviane means alive. She would have never let you." Katniss cried now thinking about her mother taking care of her little girl.

"My precious child." She kisses the baby, "I love you so much Scarlet Viviane."

Katniss fell asleep with the infant on her chest. She awoke some hours later to the desperate hungry cries of her child.

Recognizing the cry immediately she adjusted the baby for nursing before she notices the change in her atmosphere.

Her eyes danced across the white linoleum walls. Her little girl was wrapped in pink blankets and she herself was wearing a hospital gown.

She wasn't sleeping in the blood stained bed she had been in when she was last conscious.

Her baby still cried so she moved the little girl into a position to feed before observing anything else.

This didn't feel right, where was she?

"Lieutenant?" A voice came from the door. She didn't know why she had expected her regiment to stand in the door but she did expect them. Instead stood a doctor, but he didn't look like other doctors.

He looked hurt and wounded. From war maybe?

"Glad to see you awake" He faked a smile as he read her chart. "It seems everything is in order."

"What happened?"

"We moved you up to the hospital ward here in district Thirteen." He seemed to gulp as if nervous.

"Really?" She asked in a way that instated her authority.

"Yes."

"They why can't you have eye contact with me?" She asked. He looked down nervously. "Where am I?"

"..."

"Doctor, where am I?"

"The Capitol ma'am"

"Why?"

"... To be quite frank ma'am. Because your husband requested it."

"What?"

"Your husband was concerned when he first found you after the birth of your daughter. He was convinced the baby was dead. So when we loaded those boys up we took you along with us-"

"Those boys?"

"I'm getting to that, they're the whole reason I came... As I was saying sometimes women tend to self diagnose which we believe you did. No offense."

"None taken." She said in a sour tone.

"We believe what happened was... Well, to start off, your baby is only five pounds three ounces which is under the weight a full term baby should be." Katniss looked down at her child. She hadn't noticed quite how small Scarlet was.

"We believe your child had Intrauterine growth restriction, or IUGR which is when the baby is under developed and that is the cause as to why your daughter did not kick much during the end of your pregnancy. Babies who have this normally have stressed mothers which is another reason for this diagnosis."

She again looked at her baby, her sweet child was so small compared to her brother and sister. How had she not taken notice of that?

"We believe the reason behind your bleeding was due to Placental Abrupsion, which is when the placenta detaches from the uterain wall.

"This is especial common in women who have had children already, though it is extremely rare. This is also common in women who have received trauma or injury to their stomachs which is an understatment to how you've abused your body during this pregnancy." He was laughing at this.

"How so?" She asked.

"Well two battles both landing on your stomach, apendectal surgery, stress beyond words, handling weaponry alone is dangerous for a woman during pregnancy, and to top it all off you just so happened to be walking all day every day for a few good months if we were to crunch the amount of time together.

"You're any gynecologist's nightmare... My point is your little girl should be dead. She should have died to moment you fired your first gun while pregnant."

Katniss looked down at her child and kissed Scarlets head, "So the Placental Abrupsion led to your lengthened labor, which took a total of three days am I correct?"

"Yes sadly." She nodded.

"And as you can see your child is fairly under weight which is more manageable than most birth defects. Your husband walked into a room with a woman asleep with a clearly under weight baby and blood on the sheets and floor. I can't blame him for is concern."

"Neither can I" Katniss scoffed lightly, "I am going to give that man a heart attack some day."

The doctor laughed at this before continuing, "You requested we attempt to get those chips out of the brains of those boys. The Capitol had fully prepared for the children. We had gone to pick them up, when one of the little boys, Bram I believe, asked where you were. Then your husband found us, convinced us to take you, and here we are."

"Long story." She nodded.

"Yes and now I have been asked to have you come with me."

"Why?"

"You are the closest thing those boys have to family and we have a few papers for you to sign as well. I can take you to them if you like."

She nodded and lifted Scarlet higher in her arms. He exited to get a wheel chair.

"Scarlet did you hear that? You are a miracle. You shouldn't be here but you are." Katniss kissed Scarlet before the doctor returned.

He wheeled her into a dim ICU room.

"Why is it dark?" She asked bouncing her daughter.

"Brain surgery can sometimes have side effects that make them sensitive to light, this is just a precaution."

She nodded, he put some papers on the table in the room, "I'll leave you." He said backing out of the room.

Cradling her daughter she gingerly placed one hand on Brams. "Sleep looks good on you Bram" She laughed. She wanted to ruffle his blond straight hair so he looked more like himself. "You get better. That's all you have to do okay? Get better for me, and everything will be okay."

She promised before signing the papers the doctor had left her. All the while she held Scarlet close to her.

James moved a bit startling Katniss slightly.

He groaned before Katniss moved to him, "James?" She whispered, "It's me Katniss."

"Huh?" He asked opening his pale blue eyes widely. He blinked away the anesthetic.

"James it's me Katniss," She took his cool rough hand in hers.

"Katniss?" He asked.

"Yes"

"What happened?"

"We're in the Capitol. The doctors here got your chips out of your brains. You and Bram are free."

"... Can I have some water?" She smiled and pushed his hair back out of his eyes.

"I'll see what I can do." She nodded leaving his side and exiting the room. She told a nurse who got her a pitcher of water. "Here James." She handed him the drink. "Are you in any pain?" He shook his head slightly. "Do you need anything?"

He shook his head but then looked at Scarlet in her arms. "Huh?"

"I had a baby." She laughed, "Her name is Scarlet"

He nodded sipping on his water, "... You..." He looked at her with tears brimming in his eyes.

"What is it James?"

"You... You just... Remind me of my sister." He let tears fall down his cheeks, "My sister Sara took me and my sisters in when mama was grieving over papa... She took care of me even though she had a new-born. She sang me to sleep some nights when I was afraid..."

Katniss began to brush his hair back with her fingers again, "It's okay James."

"She's dead now... They're all dead."

"No they're not. Look right next to you." He shifted slightly, "Bram is still here, and I'm willing to bet that Lacey had the wit to keep herself alive."

He looked at her, "What did Bram tell you about her?"

"He said where you came from women could only be two things, 'idiots and mothers' " James chuckled at this, "But he said one girl didn't fit that mold, and that was Lacey. She was a true friend and second only to you. Something he always noticed was that she had an air about her. A presence if you will, that she created for herself. She was good at keeping promises, sneaking around, and be amazing at everything ever."

James spoke up, "I remember her saying something along those lines."

"He said she was in need of a challenge?"

"She was always smarter than Bram and I combined. And we were top in our class. She taught me beginners Trig and such. She was good."

"She told off the heads you know."

James looked at her with his pale happy eyes, "I would have expected her to try."

"She was very brave, no matter what her and Bram went through. Your friends were extremely brave. She let him go for his mother."

He nodded sadly, "Look what good that did."

Listen James, all of those things did happen no one can deny that. But now you have to become your own person okay?"

James nodded, "Where are my things?" He asked, "I men the clothes I wore here."

"I'm not sure, why?"

"I have a picture of her. I want to see her." He stated slowly. Katniss went to the dresser bouncing Scarlet Viviane with each step. She searches the drawers and finds a picture of a girl, a red-head with freckled cheeks and warm brown eyes. Her hair was in waves as it hits her smiling cheeks.

She looks so innocent so small. "Is this her?" Katniss asked holding the picture in front of him.

He smiled and nodded. "She's adorable." Katniss chuckled. He nodded as she sat down and handed him the photo. I like to think she's still alive like you say Katniss... But she doesn't know when she's said too much."

"You sometimes just have to hope with all your heart."

Just then a groan came from Bram's bed, "Sonni?" James asked.

Bram blinked opening his green eyes, his own lovely green eyes, "Kanni?" He asked quietly, "You're awake."

"Yeah." James smiled, "I have been for a while now."

"Welcome back Bram." Katniss moved to his bed and took his hand.

"Katniss?" He looked at her, "You're awake too?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"And Scarlet Viviane is alive I see." He laughed.

"Yes." She nodded looking at the little girl who was looking around the room.

"Sonni, I have something I want you to see." James said suddenly. "Katniss" He handed her the photo of Lacey.

She handed it off to Bram who looked at it in awe, "I tried James, I really did. I tried to keep her safe for you." he said disappointed.

"I wouldn't blame you if she... I wouldn't blame you Sonni."

"If you don't mind my asking what are you calling each other?"

Bram laughed lightly, "He calls me Sonni which means Bull in Finnish which is our first language. They require we learn English in school so our parents just teach us Finnish, and English. We learn Hebrew in temple."

"Trilingual are we?" Katniss asked.

"Not really, " James spoke up, "We can read Hebrew but I'd make a mockery of the language speaking it."

"I call him Kanni which means Rabbit in English. It kind of stuck when we first met." Bram finished explaining.

Scarlet began to make a fuss in Katniss's arms. "Shh Scarlet these boys need quite honey." She tried to sooth the infant. She ended up leaving the room to feed her baby.

As she lay in her own bed she began to think about her family. What happened to all of them?

Where were her children and husband? What was happening on the war front?

She didn't know and was rather afraid to find out when President Paylor stepped in the room.

"Hello Katniss" She greeted, "I'm in need of your assistance... It involves a suicide mission. And as a matter of fact is part of your specialty."

"Suicide?" Katniss asked, Paylor nodded, "Tell me everything."

* * *

_You guys... Holy crap sixty follows... I'm so happy! I hope you enjoyed this because the best is yet to come! There will be horror, gore, and a crazy rescue mission! I'll see you Saturday and as always Stay lovely!_


	30. Chapter 30

Katniss helped the two boys recover as the doctors watched and waited for Scarlet to grow. She was still too small to leave the Capitol. She wanted to get her child away from the Capitol. At the same time she wanted to know her baby was safe when she left.

Katniss was finally able to do something other than hold her daughter and take care of the boys when she got a call from home.

She sat in front of the computer anxiously until someone picked up.

"Hello?" They asked wearily.

"Hi." Katniss said with a smile.

"Who is this?" She could tell it was Peeta's voice.

"Katniss... Can't you see me?" He shook his head no as he tried to fix the image.

"Katniss?" She heard the timid voice of Prim break the sound barrier.

"Yeah?" She asked. Suddenly in a flash of color everyone who had been in district two with her entered the picture.

Everyone seemed to have something to say as everyone else spoke. Her eyes grew as their faces became faces and not just splotches of color.

Scarlet woke up because of the sound and she began to cry for her mother. Katniss got up and heard collective, "Where are you going?" Come from the computer. She presumed Peeta had fixed the computer.

"Shh, Scarlet honey mommy's here." She bounced the little girl and walked over to the computer again which had fallen silent. "You woke up a very cranky Scarlet." She told everyone.

"Wait a minute." Gale spoke up, "Peeta I thought you said the baby was dead."

"No she's not. She was just really under weight when she was born." Katniss bounced her daughter a bit until the little girl was silent. "She has your eyes Peeta." Katniss said fondly.

The baby looked at her mother extremely confused. Katniss laughed as she raised the infant in her arms a bit.

"I'll be coming home soon. They haven't released me yet but soon." She looked back down at her baby, "You know they told me about all she went through to get here and how she should be dead. And I can't help but wonder why she isn't." Katniss looked into her husbands misty blue eyes. He was smiling fondly at the baby he couldn't see.

"Because she's a miracle." He said smiled letting tears fall down his face.

Bram and James entered the room as soon as he said this.

"Hi" She greeted.

"Katniss... They want to see you." Bram said.

"They?... Oh" She turned back to the computer, "Got to go bye." She turned it off and stood to leave.

The doctors released all four of them to go home. Katniss wondered if her husband and friends knew but if they didn't they didn't.

She sat in the shared train compartment lulling all three children to sleep. She wanted to sleep as well but she couldn't.

She was thinking about her mission she was going to have to end the war. If she didn't the Kingdoms would be obliterated entirely.

She was concerned about this mission afraid even, simply because her reason for doing this laid in the room she sat in. Her reason for this war to end lay asleep in her arms and in front of her.

When they reached Twelve Katniss took her role as mother over the two boys.

"Come on hold hands." She said to the two eleven year olds who looked at her strangely. "Don't look at me like that." she said taking James's hand and leading the boys off the train.

They followed behind her obediently. "Mommy!" Katniss looked and saw Peony running up to her with Leif close behind.

"Hi princess" She crouched down and kissed the little girl.

"Bram!" Peony ran into the boys arms. He laughed slightly.

"Hi baby boy." Katniss hugged her son. Scarlet stirred in her arms.

"Mommy what's that?" He asked looking at the waking baby.

"This is your baby sister Leif." Peony stood by Leif and looked at the little girl.

"What's her name mommy?"

"Her name is Scarlet Viviane." She answered.

"Hmmm. She's pretty mommy." Peony finally said. Katniss kissed Peony before standing up.

"Where's daddy honey?" Katniss asked and the seven-year old took them over to the three adults and other children.

"Daddy! Daddy! Look" Peony jumped on her father.

"I see Princess" He said. He looked at his wife and smiled like an idiot. He walked over to her and touched their foreheads. "I love you." He said kissing her.

"I love you too." She replied.

He looked at the baby in his wife's arms. He got misty eyed looking at her.

"Would you like to hold her?" She asked before transferring the little girl to his arms.

"She's a perfect little princess." He said.

"No she's not." He raised an eyebrow at his wife, "She's far from a princess. She's a fighter."

He nodded in agreement.

"Kat" Prim limped over to her sister to hug her. Peeta showed her the infant but kept her close. "I have another perfect niece." She smiled before hugging her sister again.

After a quick reunion with her friends they made their way home.

They were laughing and talking when Katniss got the phone call. All the adults were fawning over Scarlet when Katniss picked up.

"Hello?"

"Katniss, I need you to get your god damned ass over here."

"Who is this?"

"Paylor. We need you back so we can get you out there." Paylor spoke swiftly.

"Calm down, what's wrong?"

"Katniss, if you don't get over here and fast Johanna and Finnick will die."

"WHAT!?" Katniss shouted in fear grasping everyone's attention to her fast paced conversation.

"Katniss the Kingdoms are threatening to kill all over their prisoners in forty-eight hours."

"Wait, wait, wait back up Johanna is captured?" At these words Gales eyes widened.

"Yes, and half of your regiment-"

"Who?"

"Harris, Bennet, Kevin, Johnson, and Gibson."

"Oh my god." She covered her mouth as Paylor continued quickly.

"Get your ass to a train station, now! Don't bring anything but yourself understand?"

"Yes... Yes"

"Good. I need you now Katniss. I need you more than ever." Katniss was half way out of the house as she said this. "When you get to the station they'll know who you are just let them take you where I need you."

"Ma'am yes ma'am." she turned off the phone and ran to the station without looking back. In five minutes she was on a train and in ten minutes on an air carrier with Paylor.

"Your regiment needs more people. We need you to get as many people out as you can. You know what to do you've done this before. There are two Republic soldiers as part of your regiment. Good luck Lieutenant don't you dare let me down."

"I won't" She responded entering the room.

"Lieutenant." Owens stood up.

"Yes?"

"Aren't you on leave?"

"I am clearly not pregnant any more." She said, "Roberts, Ryans, Evens come on we've got work to do."

"Lieutenant, what are we going to do?" Evens asked as she got their packs ready.

"Tell me what happened while I was gone."

"We were assigned a new regiment leader from Brazil I think he said. He wasn't as good as you clearly." Evens rolled his eyes.

"He sent us into a prisoner camp to free the prisoners and instead you know what happens? Half of us get captured!" Ryans spat angrily.

"And then he gets himself shot and killed." Roberts sighed, "We've been hardly alive for weeks, before we were rescued."

"Try and top that" Owens smirked trying to make it all seem not so bad.

"I was under ground for a few months while the Kingdoms tried to take over the districts." She scowled, "And went into labor when the districts were being bombed by biological warfare. My husband thought our daughter was dead and I had to live in the Capitol hospital for a good few months. I think I had it pretty bad."

"... Still have your witty humor about you" Roberts winked.

"That I do." She smiled. They felt the rocking of the carrier land. "There is now way we're there."

"We aren't we're picking up our new friends." Ryans sighed.

Katniss shook her head, "Fuck this."

"I would gladly if I could." Evens said, "I know Harris would have-"

"No." Katniss scolded, "No we aren't allowed to mourn them, they are not gone."

Paylor walked in with the two young soldiers. They looked about twenty years old give or take. "This is Major Ali, and Corporal Kattabh."

She nodded, "Come on we need to prepare." The two joined them silently. Katniss began to run through the plan in her head. She wondered about the Heads. If they'd be in Center City. She wondered if Finnick was okay and how long Johanna had been there.

During the ride Katniss had grabbed a gun and loaded it. As a last thought Paylor found her.

"Katniss... Here" She handed her a retractable bow and a quiver of arrows. "Kick their asses so hard they'll never pull this shit again." She growled. "Show them what District Twelve is made of."

"Yes ma'am" They couldn't land in the center city so instead they had to jump. Katniss and her men handled it well. and found the brightly lit city.

She saw the circular moving museum Bram had talked about, and knew they were close to the arena.

How incredibly convenient is it that they would hold executions in the most public place.

Katniss and her team climbed to the top of the arena unseen.

"Owens, Evens" she whispered, "Get the gliders ready" The two nodded as they reached the opening in the arena.

A man walked out on stage and Katniss readied herself mentally.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we've all come here to see one thing. The blood of our enemies spilled." The man was of color and Katniss knew he must be the Head of the People. "Let us welcome our Head of the Department of Law to the stage."

An old man Katniss recognized from training came into view. "Ladies and gentlemen as we know we have many prisoners here tonight. But we have had a traitor in our midst's for a while. She will be the first to die!" The crowd roared with satisfaction.

Katniss strung her bow. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Lacey Pembroke was found _helping _our Oceanic prisoners. Brought them food and blankets. Well she will die before them all now."

The little red-headed girl from James's picture was tossed on stage. The Head of Law pulled out a pistol. Katniss pulled back her arrow. He cocked the gun. She fired, he fell... And all hell broke loose.

* * *

_Hmm... Interesting no? See you my darling. Stay lovely!_


	31. Chapter 31

_Hey y'all announcement time so you can skip this but you know... I'd like it very much if you didn't._

_First up I've joined a forum if y'all wanna get to know me have some fun join us. it's called _To The Death - A Hunger Games Roll Play _and all of y'all are welcome!_

_Second I'll be finishing a story of mine entitled Dark Fire on the eighth and I'll be starting up a New story entitled "Scream For Me" Originally it was going to be called the Darkest Corner but yeah I'm indecisive. It's rated M for a good cause but if your into my writing style come love me._

_Third, it would be amazing if y'all would help me out with a project I'm working on. I sent a story of mine "Don't Be My Romeo" to a BETA two weeks ago. I'd really like a BETA for this one so if you're interested please tell me. _

_Fourth Holy Crap 20,000 reads. 20,000... 20,000. I'm just... I just... Holy mother of... I love you_

_That's it see you at the end!_

* * *

All hell broke loose. People screamed for help guards shot blanks at the sky since they were so low on ammunition.

Katniss and her team lowered themselves onto the stage. Owens shot the Head of the People to the ground as Katniss went to Lacey.

"Lacey sweetie look at me I need your help." Katniss said to the little red head who was now crying, "I need you to take me to the others."

Katniss turned around to shout at her men who were under "fire"

"Don't shoot civilians if you can" She turned back to the little girl. "Lacey please."

"How can I trust you?" The little girl asks with her teeth bared down.

"Because, your friends Bram and James trust me." Katniss said simply.

"Bram... And James? But they're..."

"No they're not dead. They've been living with me in district twelve. They've been safe."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" This little girl had a barrier of fear she wanted Katniss to knock down.

"They call each other Kanni and Sonni." Lacey managed to crack a smile.

"Still?"

"Yes" Katniss said. Her boys shouted out orders as she took Lacey's hand.

"Come with me." The little girl tugged her over to the room she had emerged from. She was led down a winding path to a large holding room.

With her stealth and to be honest, having a loaded gun she held the cell keys in one sweaty hand.

She unlocked the door to find three hundred Oceanic soldiers huddled together. "Come on!" She gestured to the door. All of them stood up and ran out of the room, "Get to the stage I'll meet you there."

"Lieutenant!" She turned to see her boys at the end of the line. She recognized the voice to be Kevin's.

"What are you doing here?" Bennet asked.

"Saving your asses." She said.

"Tell us what to do ma'am." Gibson said shortly.

"Yeah I miss being led by someone with actual skills." Harris laughed.

"Tell me is this everyone?" She asked

"No, they took Brigade General Mason and General Odair to..." Kevin tried to remember.

"We aren't sure where." Johnson finished.

"Alright." She said, "Follow-"

"We'll only follow you ma'am" Bennet assured her, "We'll help you find them."

Katniss nodded slightly, "Keep up."

"Katniss," Lacey whispered. "I know where they are."

"Can you take us there?" Lacey looked down at her feet.

"I can, but I'd rather not." She mumbled.

"Okay follow them back okay? Find Owens and Ryans they'll help you okay?" The red head nodded and ran to catch up with the others.

Katniss took off running in the opposite direction before hitting the end of the hallway. Four doors to choose from, so Katniss chose all four. She kicked in the first three to find nothing.

Kicking down the last one she found the two people she was looking for but not in the shape she had hoped for.

Finnick lay unconscious in his own pool of blood. Johanna was strapped to an operating table. Doctors and soldiers had clearly abandoned them when the fighting broke out.

"Gibson, Harris, Bennet. Get him out of here."

"Kitty-" Johanna was cut off when she tried to sit up. She gasped in pain.

"Jo what hurts?" She asked cutting off Johanna's bindings.

"Everything Kitty Kat" Jo cried, "everything."

"Jo I need you to stay calm." Katniss said lifting her friend to a sitting position, She promptly vomited on Katniss, "And tell me what they did to you."

"I... I..." She cried into Katniss's shoulder.

"Okay lets go." Katniss concluded taking her friend and walking out of the cell. She managed to get Jo up to the stage where an air carrier had landed and was loading people on to it.

Press were snapping photos and spouting questions as soldiers loaded up the carrier.

"Move" Katniss shoved them all aside with a limp Johanna barely holding her neck.

Katniss got Jo to a doctor and exited to help others.

Almost everyone had been on when she found Lacey again. The little girl was being pestered by reporters and was crying softly.

"Get away from her." Katniss said shielding the girl from them, "Leave her alone." She led the girl to the air carrier as it prepared to depart.

"Lacey look at me sweetie." Katniss said to the little girl. "Lacey."

"Katniss, why are they asking me question I can't answer?" She cried like a child should, like she hadn't in god knows how long.

"Because they don't understand, that people like us are... People, and not just there for them. Don't cry Lacey everything will be okay and you'll be safe soon."

The red-head nodded.

"Lieutenant Colonel." A soldier approached her, "You are needed in the hospital ward."

Katniss nodded.

"Lacey do you want to stay with me?" The little girl nodded. Katniss took her hand and led her through the emptying infirmary.

She was led to Finnick's bedside first. His breath was steady and even. She was thankful for this, but blood still seeped through the gauze.

"Katniss" He whispered weakly.

"... Hi" She whispered back. Lacey clutched Katniss's hand tightly.

Finnick smiled, "Lacey" He acknowledged her. She nodded a response.

"You know her?" She inquired

"You know her?" He chuckled but cringed in pain as he did so.

"Yes. Her friend Bram told me about her."

"... She fought for me and Jo."

Katniss looked at the little girl was stared intently at the ground.

"She fought for us and kept us safe for a while."

"Not long enough." She muttered.

"Hey" Katniss got to eye-level with the little girl, "We can only do our best, with what we have. The point is you tired and that you were willing to die for what you thought was right."

Finnick nodded in agreement. "It wasn't enough" Lacey said.

"It never is." Finnick whispered, "Even those with the best intentions fail every now and then."

Katniss looked at the little girl. "I'll be back Lacey. I'm going to talk to my other friend and regiment okay?" She nodded so Katniss left.

She found her regiment quick enough. All of them together as one whole family again.

"There you all are." She entered the room, "The gangs all here." Her boys tackled her to the ground.

"You're not allowed to leave anymore." Johnson said.

"Trust me I'm not going anywhere." She promised. "I have to go visit the Brigade General boys but I'll be back I promise."

"Wait Lieutenant" She turned around to Kevin. "Was it a girl?"

She laughed before answering, "Yes sir" She left them as the cheered for her. She walked back to the infirmary where she found Johanna laying in a bed crying.

"Jo?" She whispered. Jo looked over with blood shot eyes.

"Kitty Kat"

"Hey Jo." She sat and held her friends hand stroking the back of it with her thumb.

"Kitty-" She sobbed a bit cutting herself off. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I am... I am..."

"Shh, Jo everything is okay now."

"... How are you even here?"

"I flew."

"But... What about Peeta? Is he okay?"

"He's fine. He's home with the kids."

"How about Annie?"

"She's had it rough but she's fine now."

"And-and Gale?"

"He's had it easy compared to the hell you and I've been through." Jo chuckled at this.

"Kitty Kat... I want everyone of those Kingdoms citizens dead."

"Jo-"

"No, the thing's they did and said... I can't remember the last time I ate Kitty Kat. They only had nutrient pills to give people. Oh god Katniss, we only had water if the snow melted. It was terrible." She sobbed harder.

"You're safe now Jo. And I won't let anyone take you ever again okay? I'll keep you safe." Jo looked at her with sad eyes, "I promise you won't ever have to worry about them okay?"

Katniss looked and saw Lacey wandering aimlessly tears streaking down her face.

"Lacey?" Katniss asked. The little girl ran into her arms. "Shh... Lacey."

Lacey didn't say a word but Jo looked at the red head in confusion.

"Are you the little girl... Who... Who... Was beat in front of Finnick and I? For... For helping us?" Lacey nodded nuzzling her face deeper into Katniss's chest.

Jo cried a bit harder now.

"Lacey, Jo. This is the lowest point."

"What?" Jo asked.

"This point right now is as low as it gets. This moment is the worst moment. From now on everything else will get easier and happier. But you have to let it. You both have to let everything get better okay?"

Jo nodded and Lacey looked up sadly at Katniss.

"Kitty Kat go clean off my vomit." Jo said.

"Alright." Katniss chuckled, she stood up to leave when Lacey left her side..

"Johanna" Lacey said, "I'm glad you're okay." She kissed Johanna's cheek and ran back to Katniss.

Katniss changed clothes and brushed through her tangled hair. Lacey sat on her bed when she walked back into the room.

Katniss sat down behind her and began to brush the little girls hair.

"Bram is doing well, he and James both are doing amazingly now. I think it really helps to have a friend with you." Lacey sighed as Katniss spoke. The little girl was in night clothes and clearly exhausted.

"Lacey, are you ready for bed?"

"Yes" She answered meekly.

Katniss helped the girl into her bed and held her hand until she fell asleep.

"The kids." Katniss jumped at the sound of the new voice, "Of the Kingdoms are so much better than the adults." Paylor stood at Katniss's door.

"They really are." She responded.

"Those three children you saved from Insanity are doing fantastically in school. They are kind and wonderful according to your regiment."

"I trust them with my life I trust that is true." Katniss replied.

"And Bram. He's a good kid, very resilient. Trusting and humble."

"That he is."

"And that James, quite and patient. Honest too."

"Very much so."

"And this little girl. Lacey. So strong for being so young. She's so well spoken and brave."

"Yes."

"These kids are the height of what gives me hope for the Kingdoms." Paylor smiled, "These children make me remember why I do what I do."

"They certainly do."

"I want them there."

"Where?"

"At the peace meeting." Paylor smiles kindly, "The war is over and the odds have been entirely in our favor."

* * *

_Yeah! Happy dace everything is good! So what do you think?_

_I think this is nice ending... Wait it's not over? Oh yeah, I remember. I've still got plot left my dearies. So again reminded. PM me if you wanna join the forum or is you would like to BETA me. Check out my new story on Friday and as always Stay lovely! _


	32. Chapter 32

"It couldn't have been that easy" Katniss said.

"I would hardly call a three-year long war easy." Paylor whispered as Lacey still slept.

"But everything seems so choreographed. They must have something planned."

"Katniss, the war is over. We will sign the treaty in Australia soon. But for now be grateful the war has ended."

"I don't trust them"

"And you trust their children."

"Children can be raised to believe in something different from the parent. Children can be trained to believe many things. Adults are stuck in their ways and cannot be moved." Katniss smoothed down Lacey's hair. "Johanna told me what they did to her."

"She was a prisoner of war"

"Yes and we fed our prisoners, We clothed them and gave them shelter. They left ours to starve."

"Their own people were living off nutrient pills. How could they possibly take care of prisoners?"

"... I don't feel right about this."

"I hope they prove your doubts wrong Katniss. They are humans just as we are, and being a human means changing." With that Paylor left.

Katniss looked back down at the sleeping red-head. She looked so... Peaceful. So unafraid.

Katniss wasn't sure what awaited them but she was sure it was not peace. The next morning the air carrier landed in Australia. Apparently the carrier that Katniss was on led a whole fleet of carriers and ships to bring back troops.

Katniss was welcomed to stay with her regiment's families while she waited to return to the districts.

Angel was now ten years old, her blue eyes sparkled with life. And now she looked like a ten-year old girl. Ben was eleven and stood tall with a heart full of pride. Ariel was three and was as happy as any little girl should be.

It turns out Harris did fall in love with a woman named Amethyst who was a boisterous twenty year old. She was beautiful and clearly a challenge Harris had chosen to accept.

Katniss laughed at this and had stayed in Australia long enough for him to ask Amethyst to be his bride. She said yes, and the wedding was to be held in two years time.

When Katniss had left with Johanna, Finnick, and Lacey she was nervous to say the least.

What if Peeta was mad at her for leaving? How would she get herself out of that?

They arrived in district one and the four of them got on a train to Twelve.

"Are you ready guys?" Katniss asked.

"I'm not sure." Johanna answered. She had lost her baby, the doctors had told Katniss this. But Johanna didn't tell anyone she had been pregnant in the first place. Katniss said nothing on the topic.

They pulled into the station just then. "Lacey, take my hand okay?" Katniss said to the little girl.

The red-head gripped Katniss hand as they stepped off the train. Katniss's eyes met Peeta's and she swiftly made it over to him.

"Lacey!" Bram and James shouted in unison taking her in their arms and crying.

Katniss let go of her hand and held onto her own husband.

"We did it" She whispered.

"I know. You did it." He kissed her head.

"Gale!" Jo shouted and ran into her husbands arms. He spun her around and kissed her as many times as he could.

"I'm here. I'll always be here" He promised her setting her feet down on the ground.

"Where are the kids?" Katniss asked.

"At home. I wanted to just be with you." He said bringing her lips to his. "I've been so afraid." He was crying now and Katniss had to wipe them away.

"Annie" Finnick sigh when he met with his wife.

"You are so dead.! Do you know how much I've been worrying about you!? I was so sure you were dead-" Finnick cut her off by kissing her passionately.

"I love you Annie." He said before kissing her again. Katniss looked around the platform. Families were becoming whole again. People kissing and holding onto their loved ones. Everything seemed so beautiful, so complete. The dark evening sky brought a serenity to the scene making it simply perfect.

James, Bram, and Lacey had stopped crying and were now smiling and laughing.

"Bram when was the last time you cut your hair?" Lacey laughed. "And James how long have you had that dirt on your cheek?" The boys laughed and picked her up.

"When did you get so much smaller missy?" Bram asked lifting her over his head.

"Put me down!" She demanded and he obeyed.

"Sorry kotka." Bram winked as he set her down.

"I can still wrestle you to the ground you know." She said.

"I have no doubt you could" Bram smirked. "But James and I are veterans remember?"

"All to well." She said taking the two in her arms again.

"Peeta?"

"Yes, I know the war is over. Yes I know you don't trust them, and yes I do trust them." He said knowingly kissing her again, "Just leave it to the politicians, please." He laughed when he pulled away from her.

"If it will make you happy darling" She whispered and brought him back to her lips.

She could hear Jo whispering into Gales neck, "I was so scared. I thought I'd never see you again." And Gale gently hushed her rocking her back and forth like a child.

Annie was still hilariously angry with Finnick and was scolding him for almost dying.

"And you two! Stop it, we don't need Katniss having another baby because we don't need anymore world crisis's on our hands!"

"Annie!" Katniss broke her kiss with Peeta.

"Oh let me have this I'm pissed!"

"Fine, but Peeta seriously, I swear to god try to put another kid in me and you will not have any means of making babies in the morning." Peeta laughed at this, but took his wife very seriously.

"Bram, James, Lacey. Let's go home." The three children followed the adults away from the train station.

"I love you." Peeta whispered in Katniss's ear. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She replied.

When they got home all the children ran into their parents arms. Their families were whole again. Katniss allowed Finnick to hold Scarlet but was cautious with letting Jo. She didn't want to have friction between them. So when Katniss took Scarlet to her bedroom she asked Jo to join her.

"She's darling Kitty Kat. She's one of a kind." Jo fawned over the little one.

Katniss nodded, "She's my little fighter." Katniss kissed her daughter as she laid her in the crib.

Jo stared sadly at the infant, "Um... Kitty Kat can I talk to you about something?"

"Anything, what is it?"

"I don't want you to lie to me Kitty Kat, so tell me, did you hear my conversation with my husband before I left?"

"About you being... Yes."

"I lied to him Kitty Kat, do you remember when you told me you were wasting your time being pregnant during the war?"

"Yes."

"I realized the same. I knew that I couldn't just drop everything and be pregnant. I knew I had to fight... And I-" She was going to cry so Katniss wrapped her arms around her friend.

"I know." She whispered. "I know Jo."

"I told Gale I never was."

"It's okay Jo."

"Kitty Kat."

Katniss let her friend cry for a while before taking her back down to meet with the rest of their friends.

Two months passed before the ceremony was held. Katniss's regiment received special awards for their service.

So in Australia everyone had gathered for the signing of the peace treaty.

Katniss stood with the Generals during the catastrophe that would ensue.

Paylor took to the podium after the Head of the Department of Welfare, (who was the only Head still alive).

Paylor looked up and began her speech. How peace seems unattainable to a closed mind.

Katniss didn't listen however. She saw a man in the front row pull out a gun.

Katniss ran forward which caused a stir of commotion, but the man shot and Paylor fell to the ground.

"Paylor." Katniss said as she was the first to reach her president.

"Keep the peace." Paylor coughed out to her quietly.

"Oh god." Katniss said in a shaky voice. Medics quickly surrounded Paylor and took her away.

Katniss looked back at her fellow soldiers, they looked so lethal, so ready to kill.

Katniss stood up and knew exactly what must be done. She walked calmly to the podium which caused people to stop their frantic run and look at her. The police had taken away the man who had shot Paylor. Katniss took a deep breath before speaking.

"We will... Continue with the ceremony." Everyone stood in silence now astounded at her words, "I once read in a text-book when I was a little girl, 'that an eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind'. Of course my textbook was referring to the Dark Days of Panem and how the districts should not rebel. But that never made sense to me.

"I always thought that our enemies deserved the pain that was inflicted on us... However, I now see that what was stated is true. We cannot keep fighting one another.

"We cannot allow hatred to get in the way of our differences. We cannot allow the past to disrupt our future. I hope with a full heart that we as people can forget what was. And instead focus on what is and what can be.

"It doesn't matter where we are from or who we are now. We are together, we are whole. We do not speak different tongues, we are not separate nations. We are one on this day. We are a world that is inviting peace to intervene." Katniss looked around and hoped what words she used made logical sense.

* * *

_Okay guys I had a hard time getting this idea out of my head so I hope you enjoy it. Also I'd really like it if you'd check out my new story Scream for Me and if you'd join me in the role play I've started. Okay y'all stay lovely._


	33. Chapter 33

Katniss breathed deeply after she had spoken. She knew that this was far from ideal. She too had hate in her heart for what had happened, but the president ordered peace. All was silent. No one moved, and it seemed for a while no one even breathed.

She looked to the Head, "let's sign the treaty."

He looked at her in awe and thanks, he scribbled quickly onto the page and she soon followed suit. She stuck out her hand to him offering it to her but instead he threw his arms around her.

"Thank you." He whispered.

She nodded before pulling away. Applause finally erupted Katniss still wasn't sure if she had done the right thing.

To make peace with someone who may or may not have ordered the assassination of your president, may be a dumb move. But no backing out.

The ceremony concluded and Katniss was escorted to Paylor.

She entered a room that could very well have been just been machines. One breathed for the president, one pumped blood into her, another to deliver medicine, One kept up on her brain activity, and many more that Katniss did not know what they did.

"Where was she shot?" Katniss asked.

"Grazed the heart, and a stroke followed quickly after." The doctor answered her.

Katniss nodded. "Is she..."

"No, she won't ever wake up."

Katniss looked down at her president. "Then why-"

"Because we need a new president."

"So? We'll need an election and a temporary-"

"You are to be the temporary president." He said.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes" A special services man walked forward.

"Don't we have, like, back-ups for this kind of thing?" She asked.

"The vice-president is currently unable to take on the position himself." The man in a suit said.

"Why?"

"That is classified"

"I'm not cut out to be the president." She said.

"Just until we can throw together a campaign and vote for a president."

"Can't you just take someone who actually, I don't know, WORKS for you guys?" She asked frantically.

"Mrs. Mellark-"

"I have a new born I can't run a country!"

"You don't have a choice. It will only be for two months."

"Not doing it!"

"What would Paylor want?"

"Someone who knows what they're doing! Someone who she trusts and-"

"You know what you're doing and she trusted you more than her VP"

"I'm not going to be the filler president." She stood up.

"Look at her." Katniss looked down at her machine of a president, "If we keep her alive for another month she'll be suffering more than dying. Katniss, put her out of her misery."

"She can't feel anything-"

"Yes she can, when you're in a coma your body feels every injury amplified."

Katniss looked back down at her president, her friend. "What has this world come to if I'm the president?"

"Temporary, in four months we'll have a new president." The service man said. "We'll need you to be sworn in."

"Fine" She sighed. Then it hit her and she simply said, "Fuck"

* * *

_Filler chapter please don't behead me. I promise a really long one Sunday! I have big plans for that chapter! Okay guys thanks again Stay Lovely!_


	34. Chapter 34

Katniss was led to the celebration after her encounter with the former president. She reluctantly walked passed many cameras and reporters. She didn't want to go to this party, She wanted to mourn the loss of a friend.

"We'll call you up in a few minutes, Mrs. President." The man in a suit, whose name turned out to be Lysander said.

She walked through the crowds of people shaking hands and making quick chats with each of them. She spotted her husband who was holding a very fussy little girl, standing with their friends.

She walked up to them, "Scarlet stop giving your father a hard time." She said lifting her out of Peeta's arms.

"Well if it isn't the woman of the hour." Gale said.

"We've been waiting for you Kitty Kat." Jo snickers.

"Can we change that woman of the hour thing please?" She asked, "I'd prefer to not be the woman of the hour."

"You can't change that." Finnick laughed.

"Everyone is so impressed you of all people would continue the ceremony." Annie said, "How's Paylor?"

Katniss looked sadly at her baby, "It was awful." She shuttered, "God, she didn't even look human. She looked like a machine. It was... Horrifying."

"What does that mean-"

"Excuse me, it's time." Lysander came up behind her.

"Peeta, take Scarlet for me" She said, handing him the baby.

She followed Lysander through the crowd, shaking hands with a few people.

"Lieutenant Colonel." The Head said when she had reached the table of officials.

"Hi" She shook his hand.

"I can't thank you enough for this." He said before the entire hall's attention was called.

"Excuse me everyone, may we have your attention please." A representative from District one called everyone to order. "As we all know the president of Panem was shot earlier today." This causes the few murmurs running through the crowd to cease.

"The President has been on life support since one o'clock this after noon. However she only had four months until the end of her term. Therefore the temporary President has given her full consent-"

"I don't remember giving any consent." Katniss said, "I remember being forced into the job." A few laughs ruffled through the crowd.

The representative laughed with her, "Well anyway, we will now swear in our temporary President, Lieutenant Colonel Everdeen-Mellark."

She stepped forward and placed her hand on the bible the bible the representative held out for her.

"Repeat after me, I do solemnly swear"

"I do solemnly swear."

"To serve Panem."

"To serve Panem."

"And it's people"

"And it's people."

"To my fullest and unprejudiced ability"

"To my fullest and unprejudiced ability."

"So help me God"

"So help me God." Her final thoughts after doing this were, Lord Jesus help me.

"Welcome Mrs. President." He shook her hand after that. The room applauded and Katniss wondered just what she was getting herself into.

She was let free to mingle afterwards. She maneuvered through the crowd again, trying to find her friends.

She happened upon them finally.

"So does that make you the first lady?" Gale asked Peeta"

"It sure does honey." Katniss startled them. "Come on Scarlet." Katniss lifted her daughter out of her husbands arms.

"Well hello Mrs. President." Finnick chuckled.

"Why didn't you tell me you were running?" Peeta asked.

"I did run but in the other way" She said.

"Huh?" Jo asked.

"I didn't want to, but they guilted me into it!" She said, "Question is that even legal?"

"If the law makers say so then yes" Annie said.

"So President?" Gale eyed her.

"Only for the next four months. What can they have me do anyway?" Well she didn't know it then, but they'd make do more than she ever anticipated.

* * *

_Hello there, no post Wednesday because of standardized testing XP But right after is spring break! Hurrah! So I'll see you next week at some point my dear. Stay Lovely. _


	35. Chapter 35

The next day was Katniss's first day of being President. She was flown back to the Capitol for a temporary meeting.

"Mommy, where you goin?" Leif asked her before she left their hotel room.

"Mommy has a meeting baby, I'll be back for dinner." She kissed his head before grabbing her few things.

"I love you mommy" Peony ran and grabbed her mothers legs.

"I love you too princess." She crouched down to eye level with the girl. "Give mommy a kiss." The little girl did so and laughed.

Scarlet began to cry, "Peeta can you take care of her?" Katniss called opening the door and leaving.

"Hello Mrs. President." Lysander said when she exited.

"Hi, what's on for today?"

"A quick press conference after your meeting with the district representatives." He said leading her through the building she was highly familiar with.

"We leave at what time tomorrow?"

"Six"

"Okay." He led her to the meeting room she hadn't seen since before the war. Four years ago, how different the world was four years ago.

"On today's agenda is the rebuilding efforts, and involvement in the international rebuilding." So Katniss spent her time discussing the future of her country with a bunch of disputing, arguable people.

After going half deaf and getting very little done she spoke up, "Everyone calm your asses down!" Everyone silenced their shouts and looked at her, "You realize that nothing is being resolved right? You understand that if we don't solve any of these problems nothing is going to get done and our society will collapse again!? God damn just listen!" She began to yell about certain ideas and took votes.

Rebuilding efforts would go into effect immediately. International help would not go into effect until their own country was stable.

At least afterwards was much more interesting.

"Sweetheart" A familiar voice called out before she left.

"Haymitch?" She turned around and saw a familiar sly smile. "Where the hell have you been during this war!?" She laughed walking toward him.

"What no hug?" She rolled her eyes.

"Not until you tell me where my fifty-year-old friend was during this war"

"Damn, right in the age!" He grimaced. "I may be old but I've still got life in me sweetheart. Well I was right here"

"Huh?"

"I spent the whole war behind the scenes. I was organizing battle plans, suicide missions for you, and doing some propaganda. I think I've found my calling, getting people to pay money."

"That couldn't be all" She said.

"Well not all of us were nearly dying, saving children, and getting knocked up."

"Hey" She warned.

"What? You of all people have to know how dumb that was."

"My baby being born was not dumb!" She defended.

"Well no course not. But your timing needs to improve." He winked at her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Come on Sweetheart lighten up. We've got a conference."

"We?"

"Didn't they tell you? I've been promoted to Governor of Foreign Affairs."

"So why are you-"

"I'm traveling with you. It'll be just like the Victory tour all over again! Well except the kids will be there, and you're actually married and in love with the boy, and we'll be meeting the child ambassadors of all the countries, and I won't be drunk... Well scratch that it'll be nothing like the Victory Tour." He concluded.

"I'm so excited." She said.

"You should be, you haven't seen your old buddy Haymitch in four years."

"Alright" She nodded, "And you're sure your sober?" She asked as Lysander led both of them into the conference area."

"I never said I wasn't" She gave a confused mutter after this, but then began the conference which sadly consisted of idiot reporters asking idiot questions.

"Hey Sweetheart" Haymitch said when they left, "Where are you going?"

"To my room?"

"Why?"

"Because? That's where my family is?" She said in a questioning way.

Haymitch said nothing.

"Haymitch go home your drunk" She said leading him to the elevator.

"I thought you'd know the difference between drunk me and tired me by now."

"You're normally both." She said. They stepped out of the elevator when they reached their floor.

"No excuse!" He claimed, "How long have you known me?"

"Too long" She said.

"Never too long" He followed her to her room. James, Bram, and Lacey were playing with Peony and Leif. Scarlet was crying.

"Peeta, has she been crying since I left?" Katniss asked taking the infant from his arms.

"No" He said before kissing her cheek. "Welcome back."

"What a warm welcome it is" Haymitch stepped in the room.

"Uncle Haymitch!" Peony jumped up and ran to him.

"Hey kid." He laughed. Leif ran to his legs as well. Haymitch lifted the little boy up.

"Well, haven't seen you in a while." Peeta smiled as Scarlet stopped her crying. "I guess she just missed her mommy." Peeta shrugged.

"Yeah sure honey." Katniss shook her head.

"Uncle Haymitch, I'm a big brother!" Leif said proudly.

"Uh huh" Haymitch nodded.

"And those are our friends" Peony pointed to the three children on the couch.

"Don't tell me you two adopted" Haymitch laughed as he neared the kids.

"We might as well have." Katniss said.

"Well who do we have here?" Haymitch asked putting Leif on the ground. The three kids stood up.

"My name is Bram sir." Bram held out his hand.

"Did you hear that sweetheart? Sir. He called me sir, you could have learned a thing or two from him back a couple years ago." He laughed, "Nice to meet you kid."

"I-I'm James." James followed less bravely.

"And I'm Lacey"

"Now this one's just like you sweetheart. Little fireball. Red hair to match." He shook the little girls hand. "I guess you let Peeta take James under his wing in quite nature?"

"Hey! Don't talk about James like that!" Lacey said.

"She is like you." Haymitch laughed, "Don't worry Lacey I mean it in good nature." He winked at her before walking over to Peeta and Katniss.

"I see you two have been busy." Peeta gave him a look, "I'm kidding, god calm down. I've been orchestrating this whole war, I think I'm allowed a joke or two."

"I think you've been hitting the bottle again haven't you?" Peeta said.

"Nope. I'm clean." He said.

"Scarlet look it's your Uncle Haymitch" Katniss bounced the little girl so she could look at the man. The little girl laughed in her mothers arms.

"Well hello there kid." He smiled.

"Would you like to stay for dinner Haymitch?" Peeta asked.

"Sure." He said taking a seat.

"Lacey, James, Bram come here please." Katniss said leading them into the bedroom. She has them sit on the bed before speaking, "You kids have seen a lot I know, however you are going to be coming with me to meet the child ambassadors for the Kingdoms in Center City. I need you guys to help these kids out okay?"

"I don't want to go back there." Lacey whispered.

"I know Lacey, but we have no choice."

"Katniss?" Bram asked.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Are we going to have to meet the Head?"

"I'll make sure you don't have to." She assured.

"Okay." Bram nodded. "Then we'll be fine right Lacey?"

"Right" She said in response though she didn't look entirely convinced of the idea.

* * *

_Hey Haymitch is here, what is happening buddy? So this chapter was to reintroduce Haymitch to their lives before their four months of travel! Will they meet some important people? Yes! Until then my darlings Stay lovely!_


	36. Chapter 36

_I'm back! Sorry I've been busy with family issues._

_Good news and bad news my sweet darling. _

_Bad news or more like sad news this story has about fiveish chapters left. Sad face._

_Good news is I am already working on my next big project! I'll be releasing a lot of little works whilst I'm working diligently on my big project. I'll be posting semi-regularly on Scream for me, while I have three new stories called Nailed, Night Terror, and Don't Be My Romeo. Each of those will be posted before my big huge new idea which is going to be entitled Precious. I'll see you at the end darling._

* * *

Katniss and her family were flown to the Center City which was beginning their rebuilding process. Everything in the main city seemed so empty. However it seemed everyone had dressed up in their best for the day.

The streets lined with people all of whom were cheering, signs held up that read, 'thank you!' and 'World peace is ours!' Though it really wasn't world peace so much as it was temporary fixing of a huge problem.

Katniss spent a brunch with the only surviving head before meeting the children ambassadors for each area of the Kingdoms.

"My name is Alexien ma'am" A mousey little girl with a heavy accent said. "And this is my little brother Parker." Alexien was holding a little boys hand. The little boy smiled before covering his mouth.

"Nice to meet you." Katniss crouched to eye level with the little boy, "And where are you two from?"

"We're from Georgia, ma'am" Alexien said, "Parker, potseluy." She said and the little boy took Katniss's hand to kiss it.

"Thank you Parker" Katniss said before moving on to the next little boy.

"My name is Sebastian ma'am. I'm from the northern part of Ireland." He said this rather stiffly.

"Hi Sebastian. Can I ask you something?" He nodded, "Smile for me" He was missing two teeth, "You have a wonderful smile" She told him causing him to blush.

The next little boy shook her hand quickly, "I'm Trig, I'm from southern Portugal."

Katniss looked at the little boy, he was so full of happiness and light, "I've never been."

"It's very sunny" The little boy assured her.

She moved on to a very small little girl, "My name is Sicily. I'm from Italy, my parents named me after the city."

"How old are you Sicily?" Katniss asked curiously. The little girl held up three fingers, "Only three?"

"I'm the oldest in my town." Sicily said.

"Where is that?"

"Northern Italy around Rome." Katniss nodded still curious about the little girl, however she did not ask anymore questions.

"Hello" Katniss said to the next boy.

"Bonjour" The boy said, "Je m'appelle Quinton." Katniss's eyes grew a tad. "I'm just kidding, my name is Quinton. I'm from France."

Katniss smiled at him, "A little trickster are we?"

He blushed before saying, "I like to believe so."

"Need to keep life entertaining" She said. "Is that all of you?" She asked look around.

"Yes ma'am" Sicily said.

"Mrs. President dinner is ready."

"Thank you Lysander" Katniss said, "Come on let's eat something" Katniss herded everyone into the dinning area, "Alright everyone please tell me about yourselves."

"Like how?" Alexien asked.

"Tell me how you became ambassadors." She said.

Alexien looked down at the plate they served her. "My city was raided before the war started. They killed my dad right out, but they sold my mother into slavery." She looked at her little brother, "Parker and I found the other kids that had hidden away. I was the oldest and therefore took charge.

"Right before the war ended we were discovered by some Oceanic troops who claimed they were from South America. I was the only one fluent in English, so they asked me to travel with them.

"I put one of the other children in charge, but I took Parker along with me. Because he was all I had left." She kissed the little boys head before continuing. "We went from city to city helping the troop get to the border of Georgia. However the war ended and the troop had gotten new orders to return to head quarters.

"The troop took me back to find the camp, but when we got there only three children were still alive, all of them hiding. The camp had been raided by Kingdoms soldiers.

"The troop took my brother, the three other children, and I to your headquarters. We were sent to Center city where we were sent to a boarding school.

"I don't like school much but my teachers are good and kind. I brought my brother because, I never want to lose him again." She concluded.

Katniss felt her eyes become misty with the girl's story. A little six-year-old girl who was already well-traveled and a leader in her own right.

"You are a very brave little girl Alexien. You know something?" Alexien nodded, "I would have done the same for my little sister." The little girl smiled, and this time Katniss noticed the blonde was missing a tooth. "Alright who's next?"

No one said anything for a bit, "Well... I guess I can" Trig said, "I'm the youngest of eight. Now I'm an only child because of the war. I had eight older brothers all of whom fought in the war.

"I lived on a farm with my mom. She's all I have left now. Anyway, we live far out in the country, and a town was bombed near us. They all came to our farm. We put them to work as best we could, getting everyone to live in the stables and where ever they could fit.

"I was the man of the house, so to speak. I did my best to help everyone who came to us. My mom and I built a lot of houses in the spring and we kind of formed our own community. Now our farm is almost the size of a ranch.

"I'm not much of a hero, but when we were informed about the ambassador program, everyone elected me. So now I'm here"

Sebastian spoke up next. "I have two older sisters, both of whom are getting married to Oceanic soldiers. Ireland was capture at the very beginning of the war, so we've been under Oceanic control for a while. My dad was leading a group of under ground rebels before the war began so he got my family and our city on good terms with Oceania. I was actually sent to a school in Australia where they told me I was 'gifted' naturally I was afraid because in the Kingdoms Giftedness was outlawed, punishable by death even.

"But in Australia it's a good thing. I skipped two grades and have been put in advanced classes.

"I also met the president of Australia when my father made a treaty with them to Keep Ireland safe. He wrote me a recommendation letter nominating me as the child ambassador." Sebastian looked down afterwards, as if he were ashamed of what he had said. Or as if he spoke too much.

"I was raised by my older sister. In my portion of the country you were only allowed to have two children. My mom already had my two older sisters. My dad came home for a week and my mom found out she was having me.

"My oldest sister was almost twenty, which is the age you are required to have your second child. So my sister faked a pregnancy while my mom didn't leave the house until I was born.

"There was a raid though. When I was hardly two years old. The Republic attacked us, burned down our homes and tried to enslave everyone they could. My sister hid me away in the basement of our house. I sat in the corner for the whole night crying.

"But in the morning she found me. My nephew was taken though. So were both of my parents.

"My sister and brother-in-law took me with them to go find some place safe. We eventually happened upon Rome, where they were taking refugees. There wasn't enough food or water for everyone, but since I was so little, about the size of a one year old, they provided my family the essentials first.

"When the war ended my sister and brother-in-law took me back to where our home was in ruins. They're building it up now as we speak." Sicily smiled brightly, "And I'm getting a niece or nephew"

Katniss nodded when the three-year old finished her story.

Quinton looked around the table, "I guess it's my turn no?" A few of the children giggled, "Well I have a baby sister, I used to have an older brother, a mom, and a dad.

"I spent the majority of the war in school, my brother led a bit of a resistance group in our school. They planned a protest but all of them were killed the night before. My father was a soldier and he was almost exiled because of it.

"They found out I was related to my brother, and they started keeping me after classes and monitoring my every move. Oceanic troops invaded our town which was incredibly close to our school. I was able to run home to my mom, she told me to take my little sister and run. So I did.

"She was killed that night, at least I think she was, I haven't received word saying other wise. My sister and I ran, and we happened upon a group of men who had escaped a labor camp. We traveled with them, and soon discovered that they were from a homosexual camp.

"Two of the men were in a civil union and adopted us. Near the end of the war, Oceania captured the group my sister and I were traveling in. All of the men volunteered to join them, even I did.

"I actually ended up in a fight around the border of Spain. I had my sister on my back while I was shooting... I had never been more afraid in my life.

"But we escaped with our new parents, now we're helping rebuild France." Quinton finished however he didn't smile like the others had. He had seen battle, the worst the world had to offer.

Katniss looked at every face present in the dinning room. "I'd like to propose a toast. Everyone raise your glasses please." All of the children smiled up at her.

"Each and everyone one of you has gone to extraordinary lengths to survive and save those you love. You are the future, and each of you make it brighter. Each of you has been tried again and again. Every one of you deserves honorable mention. To courage" She said clanking their glasses together.

Once dinner was finished Lysander reported she'd be escorted to the Republic for the signing of the peace treaty and a meeting with Manaal.

She brought the children ambassadors to meet her children and her husband.

"Don't be nervous, they are children just like you okay?" She carried Sicily as the girl was very small.

"Yes ma'am!" Sebastian saluted.

Lysander held Trig and Alexien's hand. Alexien kept Parker close by while Trig and Sebastian walked side by side.

"Are you ready?" She asked them before opening the door. Lacey, Bram, James, Peony, and Leif all look up from their playing to see her. "Come on I have some people I want you all to meet." Katniss said getting the ambassadors to line up.

"These are my two children Peony and Leif"

"Hi!" Peony stepped forward to the girl to look at Alexien closer, "What's your name?"

"Alexien" She says. "Nice to meet you Peony"

Leif walks over to Trig, "Your almost my height!" Leif said to the boy who laughed in well nature.

"And these three are Lacey, James and Bram." Katniss introduced them.

"Hey I know you from somewhere" Quinton said.

"Hey you're those kids from Finland right?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah" Lacey says. "And who are you?"

"I'm Quinton."

"And I'm Sebastian."

Peony went over to Sicily and observes her. "You're really little. I bet I could carry you"

Sicily looked at her in awe, "Really?"

"Yeah." She picked up the little girl to prove it to her. Sicily clutched Peony's shirt in fear as she was lifted off the ground. Peony placed the little girl's feet back on the ground and looked at her quizzically, "What's your name?"

"Sicily" She said. Soon all the children were playing together.

"Peony honey, where's daddy and uncle Haymitch?" Katniss asked after watching the children play for a while.

"I dunno. He told Bram he was in charge and then left. Uncle Haymitch went after him but he didn't say anything either." Peony went back to playing.

"Bram, where's Peeta?"

"He didn't say."

"Did he take Scarlet with him?"

"I'm not sure." Bram replied earnestly.

Katniss nodded and continued to watch the little ones play, until the phone rings.

Katniss hastily answers it, "Hello?"

"Kat... It's Prim"

"Hi Prim" Katniss says happy to hear her little sister. "What's up?"

"Well..." Katniss could almost hear her little sister smiling through the phone as she tried to find the words that would make the most sense.

"Come on Little Duck tell me"

"I'm getting married"

Katniss was taken aback by this statement. "You're-you're WHAT?"

"Look I know it seems sudden but it really isn't" Prim claimed.

"But you're-"

"Yes I am to a really wonderful guy Kat"

"Who is he?"

"Well, his name is Ashton, he's a doctor from District Two. I met him a while ago back before... Gosh before Leif was born. He's been a really great friend for years now.

"He's a widower now, his wife died in the war, he's got the most beautiful daughter, Katniss. Her name is Eva and I simply adore her. We started dating the second year of the war after he had mourned over his wife. He came and visited Peony and Leif while you were in a coma. He offered to help Peeta since he had lost his wife.

"He's just... So great and wonderful. I think this is right Kat, he makes me feel... Like I'm worth a damn."

"Hey you're worth way more than just one." Katniss said minding her language in front of her children.

Prim laughed on the other line, "He just asked me. Oh Katniss I think I love him!"

Just then Peeta walked in the door but Katniss paid no attention and did not notice "Well I have to meet him first."

"Of course"

"Did mom know?"

"Mom met him, we had him over for dinner a couple of times... Mom really liked him."

"How old is he?"

"About twenty-seven"

"Prim that's a six-year age difference! For god's sake that's older than me!"

"I know but he's more mature"

"Prim"

"Look Kat, I'm twenty-one years old. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Oh god, my baby sister is not twenty-one that means you can drink legally."

"Kat!"

"What?"

"You're the one who got married and pregnant at the ripe young age of seventeen remember?"

"That was completely different!"

"Oh yeah how?"

"I was going to be killed!"

"But you were in love Kat. I think I am too now."

"Prim-"

"Sorry hold on a minute" Prim had a side conversation briefly before returning to the phone. "Sorry Eva is here,"

"How did I not even know you were dating?"

"I remind you again. You were in a coma"

"You should have told me"

"You were also pregnant and very stressed remember?"

"All too well."

"So you remember when I sent Bram to your house all alone right?"

"Yeah... Why?"

"Well I was kind of sort of on a date with Ashton. He was flown in when the district was attacked and we were on a case together... We stayed out kind of late we lost track of time-"

"DID YOU HAVE SEX!? I will murder him in his sleep!" Katniss screamed

"No! I'm still a virgin, Kat, just hear me out."

"I will kill him" She shouted again.

"KAT! I COULD EASILY SAY THE SAME ABOUT PEETA WHEN HE KNOCKED YOU UP!" Prim screamed back.

"I'm not denying that! I just don't want anyone touching my baby sister like that!"

"Come on Kat!"

"Imagine what Gale will say, this is PG, be grateful."

"Oh god I don't want to tell Gale. Do you remember that time Posy brought a boy home when she was four and said they were married?"

"Yes, didn't he nearly break that kids skull open?"

"Yeah... Anyway Kat. I only worked three times a week the other times we were on dates. I know him really well. I've known him for years and I think I love him.

"I really want you to like him. So when you come back I want you to meet him. I'm going to get married whether you like him or not, don't get me wrong. But I prefer you like your brother-in-law"

"Okay Prim, when I get back I promise." She looked up and saw her husband sitting on the couch bouncing Scarlet. "Now if you'll excuse me I have a bone to pick with my husband."

"Bye Kat, I love you"

"I love you too little Duck" Katniss hung up. "Where have you been?" She demanded.

"I was just downstairs with some of the newly elected officials."

"And you brought our baby?" She asked taking the little girl out of his arms.

"I couldn't just leave her alone." Peeta claimed. It was then they both noticed Haymitch laughing so hard tears streaked down his face.

"Did you let him get drunk?"

"No... Haymitch what's wrong?" Peeta asked.

"You two are hysterical!"

"Huh?" She asked.

"She's yelling at her little sister for getting knocked up and she yelled back about you getting knocked up! Priceless family moment"

"Prim's pregnant!?" Peeta asked, "I'll kill him!" He stood up.

"She's not-... Sit down Peeta" Katniss sighed taking a seat on her own. "My baby sister cannot get pregnant first off. Second off she's getting married."

"She dated someone?"

"Yep and apparently he's been to our house."

"What?"

"My baby sister is twenty-one and marrying a twenty-seven year old."

"But we're twenty-five!"

"I know, honey, I know." Katniss introduced all the ambassadors to her husband and Haymitch before they all went to bed.

"So how was the dinner?" He asked laying down in bed.

Katniss began to think about everything those children had been through, their lives and stories. How these children were broken because of the freaking Kingdoms.

Little Sicily the oldest child to have lived through the raids, not being allowed to have her mother as her mother. Nearly starving in Rome before the war ended.

Quinton having his oldest brother die on him, having to leave his mother to die, and fighting with his little sister on his back.

Alexien taking over a group of children as their leader, keeping so many people alive, and then they die so you only have your brother. Not to mention a mother sold into slavery.

Trig having to take over his fathers roll at only six years old, having to take care of his mother, and loosing seven siblings.

Even Sebastian who was relatively normal, afraid to be gifted. Afraid of what will happen if he doesn't conform.

Katniss began to cry.

"What's wrong?" He asked as she crawled into bed beside him.

"I hate the Kingdoms. I hate them for everything they've done!" She whispers before recalling the children's tales.

* * *

_So YAY! Here you are lovely thanks for your patience and I'll see you Wednesday. As always my dear, Stay Lovely!_


	37. Chapter 37

A bit of time was spent in the Kingdoms, Katniss met more people than she thought existed. She became overwhelmed sometimes from all of the questions she was asked by officials and reporters.

She attended spiritual rituals for each religion. Bram, James, and Lacey taught her the ropes around synagogue. They were even around for the Passover for the three children. Though Katniss and her family were also taken to Christian rituals known as Good Friday, and Easer. The children enjoyed hunting for eggs and Katniss enjoyed learning about the symbolism behind the eggs, how they represented rebirth.

Peeta preferred making bread for Passover, but who could blame him.

Two months had passed and they were to move on to the Republic.

She was to meet the newest Malik before signing some treaty with Manaal.

The children were flying back to Panem since the Republic was still waged in Civil war, and it was highly dangerous.

Katniss felt reluctant to send her children alone, however she had no real choice.

She and Peeta spent the flight alone, they hadn't been alone since the war.

She sat comfortably in his arms as they watched the clouds create circles of rainbows.

"So Mrs. President" He whispered in her ear, "Is being president really that bad?"

She looked at him, "It's not what I was expecting, but it's not totally awful. I mean we still have to deal with Haymitch."

He laughed at this, "Well yeah. I have a feeling we'll be taking care of him longer than we'll be taking care of our children."

She laughed too, "Oh god."

Once she had laughed he kissed her tenderly, "I love you."

"I love you too." She said.

He kissed her forehead, "How did I get so lucky?"

"By being unlucky first." She said, "The odds have been against us."

"And yet some how they always come back and ease our burdens."

"Do you remember when I knocked you out to get your medicine?"

"No, because if you'll recall I was unconscious"

She laughed, "And you were so mad."

"I still am!"

"Haven't I made up for it yet? I gave you three children."

"You kept disappearing on me though. Do you know how many times I thought you had died?"

She laughed, "I'll be your cause of death someday."

"Yes you will" He kissed her again.

"How is it that after all this time I never get tired of being in your arms?" She asked causing a blush to crawl across his face.

"Because you love me." He said innocently.

"Yes I do" She said.

They landed in the capital of the Republic, a crowd had gathered to the stage. Upon exiting the air craft she scanned the crowd. Women on the left side completely covered and segregated. On the right were men looking fairly lethal.

Peeta had stepped out before her and the Malik approached.

"Hello Mr. President," The Malik said in a heavy accent, "Welcome" He hugged Peeta briskly and looked over at Katniss, "Your wife is so disrespectful, I am deeply sorry for you."

"Ummmm" Peeta said with his eyebrows contorted with confusion, "No?"

Lysander approached the Malik, "Sir, that's the President's husband"

"You allowed a gay President?" The Malik asked shocked.

"No sir, this is our President. Mrs. President" He pulled Katniss forward.

"Hello sir, an honor to meet you." She said just as she'd rehearsed.

The Malik does not look pleased and rage would be the best term to describe how his facial features contort.

She hears shouts from the right side of the crowd. She hadn't expected such a welcome, but she hadn't expected much.

They shout and shout in an angry fashion and suddenly out of the corner of her eye she sees a rock fly at her head.

She stumbles back slightly as more rocks come her way.

Are they... Stoning me? She asked herself. Which was admittedly a dumb question since it was clear to her that was indeed what was happening.

She heard both her husband and Lysander call out to her but they were being held back by guards.

Katniss was on the ground, trying to shield herself of the rocks being thrown at her with ease.

Suddenly she felt a lesser pain, like someone was blocking the rocks. She opened her eyes and saw a fully grown woman take the rocks in place of Katniss.

The girl fell down and another girl took her spot. Each girl in the crowd was no longer kneeling, each was standing. Each girl was taking a literal stand, not just for Katniss, but for their own rights.

Eventually Lysander broke free of the guards grasp and ordered everyone to stop. How he knew their language was beyond everyone, but he got them to cease fire.

Katniss was escorted back onto the air craft, but she looked down in enough time to see each stoned woman arrested and lined up to be beheaded.

Katniss had bruises running from her forehead to her chest and back. There were a few cuts but nothing fatal.

Peeta seemed so worried he was shaking when he was allowed to see her.

"They need to win their rebellion." She said when his arms wrapped around her.

"Yes. They do" He said. She realized then just how eternally safe she felt being wrapped up in his arms.

He could protect her, those other woman had no one to protect them. Fathers and surely husbands, maybe even sons and brothers, condemned them to death. Just for their genitalia. How awful? How sad? How hauntingly true even today? How hauntingly true that it will always be this way... How horrifying that this is one thing that will never fade away?


	38. Chapter 38

The rest of the time spent in the Republic was spent in a dismal manner. Katniss was guarded at ever corner, hateful stares everywhere she went, and absolutely nothing worth doing.

Manaal requested help from Panem, but it was help Katniss could not provide. Another war, sending funds, and food, those were things she could not give.

The group left once Katniss's presidency was finished. She was finally free, able to be with her children and the rest of her family.

They planned to stay in District Two for a week, before heading home. Katniss and her husband showed up on Prim's front door.

"Hi Kat" Prim smiled hugging her older sister. "The kids are out back. We missed you guys. Scarlet especially." She opened the back door and stepped outside.

Peony and Leif were running around with another little girl, who they later learned was Eva, and Hunter. Lacey, James, and Bram sat aside talking to one another.

"Mommy! Daddy!" The two squealed and ran to their parents.

"Hi baby." Katniss said to her son, "Were you good for Auntie Prim?"

"He's been nothing but trouble." Prim laughed sarcastically. Leif pouted for a moment before hugging his mother.

"Hi Hunter" Katniss called to the little boy who ran to his Aunt.

"Mommy, are we going home?" Peony asked when Her father let go of her.

"Soon honey I promise, very soon." The children ran back to their game as Katniss stood up. "Where's Scarlet?" She asked.

"Oh," Prim walked back into the house for a brief moment. She walked back outside with the infant cradled in her arms. "She was taking her nap." Prim said handing the little girl off to her mother.

The little girl reached out to hold onto her mother. "Hi Scarlet," Katniss swayed back and forth before handing her husband their daughter.

"Auntie Katniss," Hunter ran up to her, "Mommy and Daddy are trying to get me a brother or sister."

"Really?" Katniss smiled.

"Yeah! I'm gonna be a big brother some day." He declared proudly.

Leif ran up behind his best friend and jumped on him, "Rawr!" Leif laughed as Hunter bobbled around trying not to fall over. "Come on Hunter I'm still the dragon!"

Hunter nodded and followed after his friend.

Katniss pulled her sister aside. "We'll be staying in town for a few days." She said.

"That'll be great you can meet Ash." Prim smiled, "Oh Kat you'll love him. I know you will."

Katniss nodded half heartedly. "My baby sister is getting married."

"Yeah." Prim nodded. The two of them watched Peeta play with the children and coax his youngest daughter to join the game.

"I have three kids." She sighed, "Three, I never wanted one." Prim hugged her then.

"I'm glad things haven't turned out like we planned." Prim smiled.

"Me too little duck."

"You're going to call me that till the day I die won't you?"

"Yep" Katniss smiled.

"Mommy!" Leif called, "Play with us" He demanded. Katniss laughed and joined in their game.

A few hours later Prim went back into the house and brought out Jo and Gale.

"Well if it isn't the ex-president herself." Gale laughed.

"In the flesh" Katniss said.

"We thought you died." Jo claimed.

"It takes more than a little work to kill me." Katniss retaliated.

Hunter ran over to his parents and allowed his mother to carry his tired body.

"Hi sweetie." Jo greeted her son. "You ready to go home?" The little boy nodded. "Okay let's go"

Gale looked over at his old-time friend. "Hey you want to take the kids out with me tomorrow? We can hunt like old times."

"That sounds great." Katniss assured him. The two of them left before another person appeared.

Prim went inside to greet them and Katniss went to the three older children.

"Katniss" Bram nodded to her, "You wouldn't believe it, I've been getting mail from all over."

"Really?" She asked sincerely.

"Yes, from the child ambassadors. They've been updating us on their progress with their country. Look" He pulled out a picture of Alexien and Parker standing with the troop who had taken them in. "They've been adopted by one of the guys and his wife. They'll be living in Bolivia."

Lacey pulled out a picture of little Sicily standing with her older sister and brother-in-law. "Sicily says they've fully rebuilt her town, she's being sent to the same school Sebastian is attending. Her sister had a little boy." Lacey smiled down at the photo before pulling out one of Quinton and his baby sister, "He says He'll be living in France but within the next year or so he'll be traveling here."

James took out a letter from Trig, "He says that all is well on the farm, they're apparently making a ton of money now. He says that He'll be staying with Quinton for a bit hoping to become bilingual."

"I'm assuming Sebastian hasn't sent anything?" Katniss asked.

"Well he didn't have to, he was in town last week. He's doing very well." Bram said.

"I'm glad."

"Me too." James said, "They deserve to be well off."

"Kat" Prim came from inside. Katniss walked over to her sister. Prim pulled her inside so she stood to face a man, "This is Ashton. Ashton this is my big sister."

Katniss put on a quick smile, "Hi" She said quickly.

"It's great to meet you. Prim's told me all about you." His features were very defined. He was tall and well proportioned. He had caramel colored skin and light brown eyes to match. He seemed almost proud in his stature.

"I've heard nothing about you" She said.

He chuckled nervously, "Well... Um."

Peeta walked in just then. "Katniss... Oh hi" He said.

"Peeta this is Ashton, my fiancé. Ashton this in my brother-in-law." The two shook hands and slipped into conversation with ease.

After a good fifteen minutes Katniss spoke up, "Wait did you leave our children unattended?" Katniss asked walking swiftly back outside. and saw her two children and little Eva.

She heard the door close behind her as she walked to her children. "Peony where's your sister?"

"... I dunno mommy" She shrugged.

"Leif where's your baby sister?" The little boy shrugged as his sister had. Katniss felt frantic as she looked around the yard. It wasn't that big so where could she have gone?

Little Eva walked over and tugged on Katniss's pants. The little girl pointed off towards the far end of the yard where little Scarlet was balancing herself to walk.

Katniss sighed and ran over to her daughter. "What are you doing silly little girl?" She smiled. The little girl took a few tender steps, and Katniss watched in amazement. "Did you teach yourself to walk?" She asked and the little girl fell into her mother's arms.

She kissed the baby's head and smiled. "My six month old baby tried to teach herself to walk." She walked back toward the other children, "You _are_ my daughter, stubborn." She watched her children run around a bit longer before saying, "Come on let's go inside so you don't get burned." The six children filed inside the house.

"Daddy!" Eva ran over to Ashton. He lifted her up and kissed her cheeks, "Are you gonna leave tonight too?" She asked sadly.

"I'm sorry sweetie, but I'm on call all week. But you get to stay with Prim" He told her. The little girl looked down a bit disappointed.

"Okay daddy." She said. He kissed her again before setting her on the ground.

Peeta walked over to his children and kissed their heads, "go wash up we're going out for dinner tonight."

Peony took her brother's hand and led him up stairs.

"This child is definitely my daughter" Katniss said before handing Scarlet to her husband.

"Why?" He laughed.

"She just tried teaching herself to walk."

"Yeah, she's your daughter" Peeta rolled his eye before taking the baby up to change her.

"I walk out side and see my six month old trying to walk along the wall. I didn't even know she could crawl" Katniss sat down with Prim and Ashton.

"I didn't know she could crawl either, it's okay." Prim assured her.

"So Ashton what District are you originally from?"

"I'm from District Eleven, but during the war I became a certified doctor. After the war I went to the Capitol and became a surgeon."

She allowed him to talk about his training and meeting Prim. Their friendship, her comforting as he mourned the loss of his wife. He talked about them dating, about his time in the war.

He told her when she had been missing he'd kept Prim level-headed, and almost lost his job for her. He spoke at great lengths about his relationship with Prim, how much time they'd spent together.

She honestly felt like he was trying too hard to impress her. Then Little Eva came tumbling down the stairs, "Prim, I can't find my dress." She said.

"Which one honey?" Prim asked taking the little girl in her arms.

"The pink one."

"All of your dresses are pink Eva" Prim laughed taking the little girl up stairs.

"You know" Katniss spoke, "If you really love her than I won't stand in your way, but even think about doing something stupid you're dead." She looked at him head on, "I'm one of the most influential and lethal people on this planet. Don't screw with her or you screw with me."

Ashton looked back to where Prim was walking away. "She's the woman I was always meant to marry. My late wife just had to push me there."

Katniss nodded.

"There isn't a thing I don't know about her."

"Really?" Katniss asked.

"I was the one who told her she can never have children." Ashton looked down, "From that point on we grew closer." He shrugged slightly, "I'll be there when she needs me. I always have been."

Katniss nodded slightly. She understood him in a strange way. She understood just what he wanted, and that was to make her baby sister feel worth something.

He'd be good for Prim, and Peeta had been for her.

"Love her, that's all I need you to do."

"I've already done that." He said.

"Good." She smiled.

* * *

_So writer's block sucks but hey this Wednesday I promise the next chapter will be posted. Guess what? Four chapters, that's all I have left four, can you believe it? Four, I'll be done by May. I'm legitimately upset by this but I am also certain that this story has been an amazing piece of work and has inspired me to write some of my own original work on the side of Fan Fictions. I'll not be leaving here but I may have original work on another site. Well anyway my beauty I don't know if I still need to tell you this but Stay Lovely._


	39. Chapter 39

She and Peeta woke up early that day to get everything ready for their outing.

"Hand me Scarlets bag please." Katniss said as she packed up sun block and a blanket for her outing with Gale and the kids.

"You're bringing Scarlet?" He asked handing it to her, "She's only six months old."

"Yes?" She looked at him.

"Isn't it a bit early to take her out?" He laughed.

"Nope." She kissed him when he raised an eyebrow. "She tried to walk yesterday she'll be fine. She may be a daddy's girl but she's still my daughter."

He laughed and walked back into the kitchen.

"Mommy" Peony walked down the stairs all dressed and ready to go, "Are we ready yet?"

Katniss smiled at her oldest, "My answer is still the same as it was five minutes ago." Peony sighed at her mother's words. "Why don't you go and sit with Lacey and the boys?"

Peony giggled and ran back through the house the family was staying in. Peeta poked his head through the door, "She's your daughter."

Katniss laughed at this until she heard the hungry cries of her baby, "She's your daughter." She said leaving to get Scarlet up. With the baby in her arms Leif poked his head in the room.

"Hi sweet baby." Katniss said to her son. "You ready?" He nodded with a large smile. "Good, we just have to wait a bit for your Aunt and Uncle okay?"

He nodded again and followed his mother through the house. "What are you doing silly boy?" She asked him. He giggled and pointed at Scarlet. The little girl looked confused but entertained. She laughed at the goofy smile he'd inherited from his father before continuing down to the kitchen.

"Daddy" Leif said so Peeta would lift him up.

"How's my big boy?" Leif laughed but held his father. "Are you excited about today?" He asked. Leif nodded, "Are you going to keep Scarlet safe?" He nodded again. "That's my boy. Keep mommy safe too." Peeta kissed his son before setting him down.

Katniss watch Jo, Gale, and Hunter make their way up to the house. She welcomed them all inside and Leif ran to his friend.

The two boys immediately began to play without missing a beat.

"You all ready?" Katniss asked.

"Well actually I'll be staying behind. My doctor says I can't be doing to much. Whatever that means" Jo rolled her eyes.

"You know exactly what that means." Gale kissed her cheek. Scarlet laughed at the couple and Gale turned to her, "What are you laughing at?" He fake glared causing her to laugh harder. "Come here kid" He picked her up and started playing with her.

"Daddy come here" Hunter dragged him away with Scarlet in tow.

"Are you sure you can't come?" Katniss asked.

Jo sighed "Yeah. I wish I didn't have to stay behind, but yeah." Katniss rubbed her friends arm. "They told us it'd be really hard to get pregnant this time, because of how... What was the word he used? 'Abused' my body is. As if I did it to myself." Katniss looked at her friend.

"When you get pregnant you don't get to complain." Katniss smiled simply.

Jo laughed, "Shut it."

"Hey you told me I was the girl who got knocked up at inconvenient times."

"I was JOKING!" Jo laughed again.

"But I was pregnant so I took it in a bad way." Jo shoved her friend.

"Hush Kitty Kat"

"Katniss, are you ready to go?" Peeta called from the kitchen.

"Yeah" She called back.

"I've got to run, I have an appointment." Jo said leaving the house.

Katniss watched her friend leave, she felt awful for her. Jo seemed to really want a baby and now it would be much harder than just having a baby.

The family headed out into the woods. James and Bram took the immediate lead. Lacey trailed not so far behind them with Peony at her side.

Leif and Hunter were behind them stopping every now and then to observe the tracks the children in front of them made. Katniss and Gale took up the rear with a very fidgety Scarlet.

They reached a clearing before noon for their lunch. The children, still full of energy, run and play.

"It's nice here." Katniss said to her long time friend, "It's not home but it's nice."

He nodded watching Hunter run with Leif. "I knew our kids would be close."

"I did too" She said.

"But I said it first." He claimed.

"Yeah well... Hush" She sighed. He laughed at her for a moment. She looked over and saw Scarlet crawling over to Hunter and Leif. "She's my kid." Katniss sighed.

"Aren't you going to get her?" Gale asked.

"Why? She'll crawl back anyway." Katniss shrugged. Hunter helped the little girl to her feet so he could pick her up easier. The two adults watched him as he instinctively carried the little girl with him.

"He wants a sibling." She nodded, "The doctor said it'd be close to impossible."

"Do you know how much in our lives has been close to impossible?" She turned to him with a snicker, "Seriously? Do you? And every time we've done pretty good for ourselves."

He shrugged, "I guess."

"You guess?" She asked, "Seriously."

"You know Catnip... I know she was pregnant. I know she miscarried." He said almost ruefully. "I just don't get it. Did she ever consider-..."

"Consider what?"

"Me?"

"Of course she did." He glared at her. "I'm serious."

"Than she wouldn't have gone."

"No, if she wasn't thinking about you; she'd have told you flat out she was pregnant and going. She would have told you she miscarried. If she hadn't thought about you she'd have aborted it."

"She essentially did." He said.

"I don't think you understand the concept of abortion." She said.

"Killing it intentionally counts." He said.

"Than she didn't abort it. She didn't wish it dead, she didn't want it to do. She wanted it to live a full life, but she had a war to fight Gale. She didn't want to end up like me."

"What? Happy?" He looked at her with sad cold eyes, "She didn't want to be happy and... And bursting with life?"

"I'm not-"

"Bull and you know it. You are so happy now, happier than anyone could have imagined." That much is true and I can't deny it. "You are so alive and willing to move forward all because of your kids. She's the opposite of that."

"She's seen more than me." Katniss claimed, "And I don't recall being happy for the majority of my pregnancy with Scarlet. I remember being shoved underground, crying, being afraid, and almost dead. Then I gave birth under ground."

He looked at her sadly. "We can't change what happened, and if she's living in the past... Then only she can save herself."

They looked back over to the boys, Leif and Hunter attempted to teach Scarlet how to walk. Katniss saw her son shinning with pride when the little girl took a few steps, and each time he helped her back up determined to get her on her own feet.

Hunter looked at the little girl differently, like she was a gift, precious to the earth and all it is. He was cautious and careful, gentle to a point of apprehension.

"That's my baby girl" Katniss smiled and walked over to the boys.

"Letti" Leif said to his sister, "Show mama you can walk." He and Hunter let go of the little girl and with one step she was in her mother's lap.

"That's my girl." Katniss picked up her daughter and kissed her cheeks.

"Mommy!" Peony called from the forestry, "Bram and James found a river! There was a snake and everything!" Katniss chuckled at her little girl.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, but they wee really scared." The two boys and Lacey emerged from the under growth. The family's headed back down to town where Hunter begged his father to sleep over, which Gale couldn't refuse him since his best friend would be leaving in a few days.

Katniss and Peeta watched all seven of the children play outside as they sat inside holding one another.

She told him of their woodland adventures and Peeta chuckled. "Hunter better watch out, that's my little girl he's falling for."

"Huh?" She asked.

"He reminds me of myself almost," He said looking out the glass window. "A goner."

"Don't make it seem like such a bad thing." Katniss laughed.

"It's the best thing." He kissed her again but this time held her in a spur of passion so the two pulled away with their breath in sync. "Still don't want another baby?" He asked with a teasing smile.

She looked out into the back yard at the seven children, how peaceful and whole they looked, "We have six beautiful, strong, brave, independent, kind, caring, loving children." She looked into his eyes and smiled sincerely, "Why push perfection?" She then kissed him lightly so his answer took form in his kiss.

The best answer really, a kiss of utter happiness.

* * *

_Three chapters left my pretties. I've posted Nailed and the first two chapters of Precious. I hope you check them out because I'm proud of them._

_Also guys... over 30,000 views? 173 reviews? 63 favorites? 81 follows? Holy crap, I can't thank ya'll enough for how confident you all make me feel. I love you more than you know, every little thing just makes me feel so awesome and you all are awesome._

_I don't even need to say it because you always are but... Stay Lovely. _


	40. Chapter 40

_Last chapter before the two-part special epilogue! Super excited and I hope you are too! Check out Precious and Don't be my Romeo after this I think you may like them!_

* * *

Two years later.

Katniss walked up to the school-house with her husband at her side. Their children would be getting out very soon.

He kissed his wife when they stood to wait for their children.

"I love you." He said into her ear.

"I love you." She said back before looking at the newly built school-house. Katniss looked around the area and spotted two old friends chatting. "Delly Madge." She called before walking toward them.

"Katniss, hi." Madge stood up to hug her.

"Finally back in town?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah it's been hectic at work but I took the next three weeks off."

"That'll be great. I'll be able to see you after the wedding." Katniss said before moving on to Delly, "How's our room mom doing?"

"Very well." Delly assured her. She'd been doing the single mom thing well, she was less like a mom and more like a super hero. "Hi Peeta." She greeted him.

"So are you all leaving tonight?" Madge asked.

"Yeah, Prim wanted us there this morning but the kids had school, and Bram, James, and Lacey need to wait for their citizenship to come in so we had to stop at the post office. It was just a bit too much."

"I'm sure she understands." Madge said just as the school bell rung. The younger kids came out first.

Little Scarlet with her hair in two braids bounced out of the school-house.

"Daddy!" Scarlet jumped into his arms.

"Hiya Princess" He lifted her up and kissed her cheeks, "What do you have there?"

Scarlet adjusted the art in her hands, "We did painting today." She then held up a water-color page to the adults.

"It's beautiful sweetheart." Delly said fondly.

"It's for Lacey" Scarlet stated.

"She'll love it baby." Katniss assured her.

Next Leif came running out with Ricky running by his side.

"I win!" Leif said when he touched his mom's leg. Ricky ran up to his mother and hugged her leg in shame.

"Where's your sister?" Madge crouched down to her son.

"She's with Amber." He sighed, "Girls take forever mommy."

"It doesn't change, trust me." Peeta smiled at him. Little Raylee and Amber ran outside.

"Mommy Ricky didn't wait for me" Raylee sighed.

"I did too! You're just slow." He said.

"No I'm not!" Katniss laughed at their argument since she knew as well as they all did, the twins were close friends and always had been.

"Alright you two settle down." Madge sighed, "come on take mommy's hand so we can go." She looked up, "See you guys later."

"Bye Madge" Katniss waved.

Jacob walked out of the school-house to find his mother quickly, before the school pours out older kids.

Peony walked up with Exie and Jacob by her side.

Delly said her goodbyes before leaving the Mellark family to wait.

Then Bram, James, and Lacey make their way out of the building. James and Lacey's hands were locked together. Thirteen and dating seems odd and awkward even, but no one questioned it.

"Alright everyone's packed right?" Katniss asked as they made their way back home.

"Yes. I helped Scarlet AND Leif" Peony said proudly.

"That's my girl." Katniss smiled at her ten-year old.

"Katniss, did our citizenship come in?" James asked.

"Yes we left your papers in each of your rooms." The three children now lived and worked in the bakery after school hours. Three little apprentices that Peeta adored training.

The family of eight got on the train to District Two. When they arrived they were greeted by a few old friends.

"Hey Gale, Jo." Katniss walked over to her friends.

"Hunter!" Leif ran over to his best friend. Though night was growing closer everyone was bursting with energy.

"Who invited you?" Katniss asked playfully to Finnick.

"Do I need an invitation?" He asked, "I'm. Finnick."

"Excuses, excuses" Prim walked over to her sister.

"How are you Prim?"

Prim sighed into her sister's shoulder, "Stressed."

"Good" Katniss pulled away.

After their quick little reunion the whole family wandered over to Prim and Ashton's home where everyone gathered for dinner.

Peony and Fin rallied the other children into an organized game while Bram was made game leader.

James and Lacey sat away from the children, but still added a comment or two in the game.

Katniss and the other adults sat together and talked quickly about events in the districts and the rest of the world.

Katniss had kept up with the child ambassadors she'd met years ago. She was the elected official in the Capitol for the foreign welfare. Haymitch was still working in the propaganda business but in his old age he remained closer to home.

Everyone was comfortable now. Even though war struck the Republic as they rebelled. The fighting stayed where it started and was no immediate threat to the other countries.

Katniss had kept up with her old regiment, Harris had married and was expecting his first child. Angel, Ariel, and Ben would be joining an exchange program to spend a year in the Districts.

Everything seemed alright, except for two things. One, there was a need for massive reconstruction of District Four causing Finnick and Annie to move out of their home District.

The change had been hard and long but in a few months they'd be allowed back home.

The second, was Jo and her issues with having a baby.

Though it was difficult, they were still trying. Jo was discouraged a year ago, but leave it to Gale to not give up.

Eva joined the children in their playing but was incredibly shy about the whole ordeal.

The next morning was spent with a very frantic Prim.

She was trying her best to not rip someone's head off. She almost burst into tears when her zipper got caught.

Katniss finally got a moment alone with her baby sister.

"I'm going to throw up." Prim sighed as the other girls left to pack the car.

"Please don't." Katniss sat next to her baby sister. "You've planned everything, now you've just got to let it happen."

Prim shifted to hold her sister. "I wish mom were here."

"I know."

"I just want it over with."

"No you don't," Katniss smiled, "You will savor every last-minute of this."

"I'm so scared."

"Hey, when I got married I thought I was going to die come the morning."

"So?" Prim asked.

"Do you love him?"

"More than anything."

"... Then, love will have to be enough." Katniss said.

"Thanks Kat... Oh crap!"

"What?"

"I forgot something"

"Prim we're still at home what do you need."

"Look" Prim stood up and showed her sister the dress.

It was knee-length, a halter top and fluffed out. Prim had thought it was perfectly matched with her short veil well. Prim had taken Annie with her to buy it and Annie hadn't shut up about how beautiful Prim looked. All her words were not misplaced.

Katniss thought she was beautiful, what could be wrong, "Something Old." She pointed to her hair piece which had been our mothers, "Something new." She pointed to her shoes, "Something blue." She held out her wrist to show the blue pearl bracelet.

"And?"

"I need something borrowed." Prim said frantically.

Katniss smiled at her sister, "Give me one second." She stood up and went to her own jewelry holder, she'd packed for the trip. She opened it and touched the Mockingjay pin lightly.

She walked in and pinned it to her sister's dress. "Are-... Are you sure Kat?"

"Positive" She said and held her sister tightly. Prim laughed slightly.

"Thank you."

"Now you're a blushing bride little duck." Katniss said fondly.

Prim looked down "I'm getting married. We'll be late!"

"Calm down. The ceremony doesn't start for another two hours." Katniss assured her.

"Right." Prim breathed, "I can do this."

Katniss led her little sister to the car and they drove to the area picked for the wedding. The friends talked as they drove on, "Did you hear about the revolution in the Republic?" Annie asked, she was always informed as Finnick was still heavily involved with the Military, "I heard we might be going to war again."

"Damn it Katniss! Did you get knocked up again!?" Jo asked.

"I hope not, I already have six kids to keep in line." Katniss laugh rubbing her stomach to laugh at herself.

"Well the war over there is like really bad, supposedly they've been taking babies and killing the girls right off the bat." Annie said.

"It's my wedding day let's not think about that." Prim said.

"Agreed." Katniss said.

"It was the cutest thing, yesterday Hunter said he wanted a sister just like Scarlet." Jo said, "Then my lovely husband told him he'd have a sibling very soon. Because you know my husband is impatient as fuck."

"Well you can turn something around quickly." Annie sighed.

"What do you want? I'm only human." Jo claimed.

The whole car erupted with laughter, as they pulled up to the venue. "Right on time." Annie said. "Are you ready miss bride?"

Prim sighed, "This is happening." Katniss nodded and took her sister's hand.

"You ready?" Prim nodded.

The wedding was everything Effie had hoped Katniss and Peeta's wedding would have been, minus the district touches, and the short dress... And the smashing cake into the others face.

Prim announced the family the next week her and Ashton were going to be adopting another little girl for their family. Though it was soon everyone was very happy for them.

Katniss invited Johanna to District Twelve so she could have a week away from the stress of trying to get pregnant.

However the trip was canceled when her doctor announced she was having a baby. Everything seemed to be perfect, even though they did intervene in the Republic revolution.

And for a while nothing much was worth reporting until of course ten years later.

_See you later pretty! ;D Stay lovely._


	41. Chapter 41

Eleven years later

It was the anniversary of the war. The ceremony was to be held in the Capitol that year. Everyone was fully prepared to make the trip to the Capitol.

The whole gang was staying at the Mellark home in district twelve. That meant Jo and Gale along with Hunter, Twins Astric and Luna, with Gunner the youngest.

Finnick, Annie, and their four kids Finn, Lily, Rainer, and Brook.

Even Prim and Ashton were over with their two children Eva, and Sage.

The home was packed to the brim with people. Bram, Lacey, and James still lived and worked at the bakery but they too were preparing for the adventure.

Lacey and James were planning to find a place out of the bakery now that they were married and planning to start a family of their own.

Peony is now the center of our story as she has reached the age of twenty-one and remains hopelessly in love with the boy she had feared all those years ago. As she had liked him since she were only ten.

Sitting in her baby sister's room she criticized Scarlet lovingly.

"Seriously what are you wearing? Are you a slut?" She smirked as her baby sister pulled on booty shorts and sports bra.

"I'm going for a three-mile run what do you want?" Scarlet smiled back.

"For you to not be a slut."

"I'm not being a slut. I'm sixteen years old I can wear what I please. Plus I could out run any rapist."

"Yeah, yeah little sis what ever you say. Just try getting by dad in that!"

"I will!" She laughed, "So, how are you and Bram doing?" She asked seductively in a teasing manner.

"What does that mean?" Peony blushed instantly.

"I mean does he know you love him yet?"

"I don't-"

"Don't even lie." Scarlet smirked "You love him!"

"What about Hunter huh? You love him"

"Not true. I'm too young to love anyone. Just because I liked him two years ago doesn't mean we'll get married. You have a chance at happily ever after with mister tall, lean, and handsome." Scarlet laughed.

"Come on let's see if dad will let you leave the house." Peony draped her arm over her sister's shoulder.

They walked down to the large overflowing living room.

The twins Astric and Luna played with their eight year old brother, Gunner, as the adults conversed and the teens joked together.

A sixty-one year old Haymitch, whose health was declining, watched the girls enter with a gleam in his eye. Still the mentor to his favorite grandchildren.

Peony sat down with Finn and Lily as Scarlet bounced to her mom.

"I'm going for a run mom." She said kissing her mother's cheek.

"Be back by six for dinner."

"Okay."

"Where are you going dressed like that?" Peeta asked eyeing his baby girl.

"Just for a run daddy." She said walking to the door.

"Over my dead body you're going out dressed like that." He said.

"Daddy we've talked about this, I can go out if all I'm going to do is run."

"Calm down honey she'll be a good girl right Scarlet?" Katniss said.

"Yes mom." She smiled.

"By six."

"Thanks!" She said sprinting out the door.

"She could get away with murder I swear!" Peony laughed. Her baby sister had their father wrapped around her finger.

"That's good we need all the people we can get." Finn smirked seductively.

Peony looked over at Hunter, "Dude, Hunter, cross your legs." She said.

"Huh?"

"Boner?"

"Uh..." Hunter blushed crossing his legs.

"Did you just get a boner for my baby sister!" Leif shouted, "Asshole!"

"Hey, language. Not in front of the kids." Johanna snapped sharply.

"Sorry Aunt Jo." He sighed before shoving his best friend in the arm. "That's my sister."

"That's my little girl." Peeta smiled at the boy who reminded him of a certain love-struck boy from long ago. His anger could not remain at a boy so much like himself.

"What about me?" Peony asked.

"You're my little girl sweetheart." Katniss said. Then Lacey and James walked in. They hugged Katniss, their practical mother. They said something about the little house they'd bought but Peony heard none of it.

She watched Bram as he stood suavely against the door frame. His cut body, light hair covering his beautiful green eyes. Maybe she was exaggerating his features but she only saw him as amazing in every way.

"Bram, come on." Katniss stood up and hugged him.

"Sorry Katniss didn't want to ruin the moment." His deep voice made Peony sigh.

"Never." Her mother chuckled. "You three are packed right?"

"Yes ma'am" James saluted.

"I'm keeping them in line Mrs. M." Lacey nudged her husband.

"Takes a woman to get things done right." Jo said sarcastically.

"Always." Annie glanced at her husband.

Bram took a seat with the older kids, "What's happening children?" He asked with a smirk.

Eva gave a cold hard stare to Bram who retaliated with raised eyebrows.

Leif was first to reply, "Ready to start work." Leif was joining the armed forces and would be going to training in Australia for a year and a half.

"Wanting to go to bed." Lily sighed exhausted from absolutely nothing at all.

"Tired?" He asked.

"Yes."

"I'll be sure to fill your dreams with nightmares." He promised with a grin.

"I hate you." She rolled her eyes.

"Peony? You in a daze?" Leif asked before hitting the side of her head.

"I'll beat you into the ground Leif!" She promised.

"Calm yourself." Bram laughed. So she did quickly. Peony hardly spoke a word. As she normally did when she sat in a large group while Bram was present.

She tried not to look at him but she found her eyes drawn to him. She cursed herself each time her eyes wandered over to him.

She'd of course liked him since she was ten. However what started out as an innocent crush turned into a deep liking. Though she refused love as an option.

She was taking ownership of her parents bakery, which meant she'd be his boss. How creepy is it that you'd become the boss of your life long friend?

Well, Peony sat in silence taking in the conversation between her family and friends when her baby sister snuck up on her.

"Rawr!" Scarlet jumped onto her best friend. Peony fell over on contact with the sixteen year old. "You still with us? Earth to Peony, come with me to change yeah?"

"Uh sure?"

"Greatness!" She dragged her older sister behind her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"How long have I been sitting there?"

"Only an hour and a half."

"You're slipping." Peony laughed at her sister.

"It's off-season okay?"

"I'm not hating, just saying." Peony laid out on Scarlets bed, which Scarlet took as an invitation to lay across her.

"What are you going to wear?" Scarlet asked.

"This?" Peony laughed.

"Aunty Prim will murder you."

"Huh?"

"Dude it's a formal remember?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah, Ricky and Raylee are coming over with their parents. Formal."

"Well damn... Can you GET OFF!"

"Sure baby doll." Scarlet sat up, "I call shower!"

"Take it you smell awful." Peony sat up feeling blood move freely through her body cavity again.

"Love you to sister dearest." Scarlet ran out of the room. Peony went to her own bedroom where Lily sat applying makeup.

"Hey," Lily said, "You getting ready?"

"Yeah... I need clothes."

"Oh, I brought extras, my mom kind of went over board." Lily went to her trunk at the end of the makeshift bed she'd slept on previously.

"It's okay." Peony said throwing a dress out of her closet and beginning to undress.

"So, are you and Bram dating yet or what?"

"Lily!"

"What everyone wants you two to be!"

"Well... I just-"

"Aw! You're blushing!" Lily squealed.

"Shut it!"

"But... AW!"

"Damn it Lily!"

"What you're just so cute." Peony, vibrantly red, dressed and sat to let Lily do her makeup. "So what do you think about Scarlet and Hunter?"

"I think she's clueless as hell."

"You mean to tell me she doesn't know?"

"She has no clue. She's just like my mother."

"Damn." Lily sighed.

"The poor kid, he can't even speak around her."

"And she just stands there in tight ass jeans sometimes, my god open your eyes girl." Lily laughed.

"I sometimes think she can't be that clueless but then I hint at it and she just doesn't get it." Peony laughed, "I've been meaning to ask. When are Finn and Exie getting married?"

"Like I would know?"

"You are his sister."

"Yeah, and he tells me nothing."

"Fair enough."

"Peony!" Scarlet ran into the bedroom. "Do you have my other shoe?"

"You are always losing things." Peony scolded her sister. "check your own room."

"Here it is!" She said grabbing it from under Peony's bed.

"Really babe?"

"Yes sister dearest." Scarlet smirked at her best friend.

"Hey Scarlet, how's the plan to set up Peony and Bram going?" Lily asked

"Shut up Lily!" Peony shouted.

"Everything is going according to plan." She winked before running out of the room.

Dinner had gone off without a hitch, the train ride to the Capitol was full of screaming running children, yes including Scarlet.

After reaching the Capitol they met up with old friends of their parents.

Leif being ever so clearly in smitten with Ariel, seemed lost and confused through dinner. A blissfully clueless Scarlet sat next to her father and in front of a pitifully love struck Hunter.

Peony sat across from Bram hoping he'd notice her, all the while Bram wondered if Peony would ever notice him.

The ever-present sense of longing lasted until dinner was over. Peony and her sister went to their shared hotel room, and as girls do, gossip began instantly.

"Did you see Leif? He so likes Ariel." Scarlet giggled.

"I'm more interested in Lily glancing at a certain ambassador."

"You mean Sebastian right?"

"Yes!" The girls sat on one of the beds and laughed together.

"Oh my god did you see Quinton?"

"No! Who was he looking at?"

"Just guess!"

"I don't know..."

"Eva!"

"They'd be so cute."

"They would!" Scarlet laughed hugging her sister. She looked over and the clock and said, "Mom will get mad if we stay up later."

"I'm twenty-one years old." Peony laughed.

"I'm sixteen she still has reign over me." Scarlet said turning off the lights.

"Vivi?"

"What?" Scarlet sighed hearing her middle name used.

"Hunter's been in love with you since day one." Peony had to say it before anyone else. Scarlet was her best friend, if anyone should tell her, it had to be Peony.

"No he hasn't Peony."

"Yes he has. He got a boner for you and everything."

"How should I respond to that?"

"Don't." So she didn't and they fell asleep.

In the morning everyone was running around. Dresses got mixed up, makeup wasn't exactly right, and Effie was flipping shit.

In all the madness Scarlet managed to slip away for a brief moment. She ran around on her own until she found Bram.

"Hey, Bram. Over here." She motioned to her.

"Hey Vivi," He said to irritate her, "What's up."

"You need to dance with my sister tonight."

"What? Why?"

"Because she's in love with you but won't admit it."

"Really?" He asked with a small smile forming on his lips.

"Really bud. Please, just ask her to dance."

"Fine, but you have to slow dance with Hunter."

"Why on Earth would I do that?" She asked.

"Because he's hopelessly in love with you."

"WHAT!?"

"This can't possibly be news to you."

"But... But we're just friends..."

"No you aren't, or at least he doesn't want to be."

"... But-"

"Just one dance Vivi." He said leaving her be. She ran back up to her shared room with Peony.

"Where were you Scarlet? We've got to get ready now."

"I was talking to Effie."

"She was probably pissed you're off schedule."

"She was, come on Peony." Scarlet said to her older sister. The girls dressed and did one another's makeup.

"You're beautiful Peony." Scarlet sighed, straightening out Peony's light pink dress. The dress had a crystallized bodice, with thick straps to hold it up, and a shimmered bottom that was absolutely breath-taking. Peony's dark rich hair was pulled back tightly behind her head, complementing her grey eyes, and her very light makeup.

Ball gowns were an actual requirement much to the dismay of everyone. They wanted to know when the next dress code meeting was so they could slap someone senseless for putting them through the torture of wearing a ball gown.

"I'll never be as pretty as you Scarlet." Peony sighed always feeling second best to her perfect little sister. Scarlet, the athlete of the family, the straight As, community service, outspoken, quick-witted, always knows the right thing to say, has all the boys fawning over her, Scarlet.

Peony almost hated her sister sometimes. Scarlet was always the one her father loved most.

Scarlet almost hated Peony sometimes too. Peony the most calm, the most honorable, the sweetest, and most soft-spoken. Peony, the one who looked like their extraordinary mother, the one who always knew when to back down from a fight. Peony their mother's favorite. The first-born, never once did their mother think of aborting the perfect Peony.

They could agree on the fact that they envied one another for different reasons. Though Peony did not understand why Scarlet envied her, Scarlet didn't understand why Peony envied her. The feeling between the sisters was mutual.

Peony looked at her sister, her beautiful baby sister. She could even pull off a lime green ball gown for god sake. She could pull off a dress that would have made anyone else look horrendous. The dress with a green ruffled bottom, a tight bodice, and a blinged out brooch on the side. To top it off, Scarlet had gorgeous blonde hair that at the moment was loose in curls and dazzling blue eyes.

Was there anything Scarlet couldn't look beautiful in? Peony certainly thought so, Scarlet however wondered the same of Peony.

"Peony, let's go."

Outside in the hallway Angel stood alone, her white blonde hair shining in ringlet curls, her crystal clear blue eyes narrowed at the door. She wore a beautiful lavender dress with white embellishments and pickups along the skirt.

"Ariel hurry up!" She complained.

"I'm ready Angel five minutes!" The always tardy Ariel called back.

"Hi Angel." Scarlet greeted her friend with an immediate hug.

"Hi Scarlet, Hi Peony." Angel hugged the girls tightly. "I've missed you both."

"You need to visit more." Scarlet laughed.

"Or you need to visit me." Angel retaliated.

"Calls just aren't the same Angel." Peony sighed.

"Don't be such downers!" Lily shouted from down the hallway with Brooklyn trailing behind. Lily had grown up to be quite stunning, her sandy hair cut to her shoulders, her green eyes reflecting her contagious smile. Lily wore an elegant dark blue dress with a black sash.

Her mini me, Brooklyn, tried to mimic her movements. Though Brooklyn was Lily's opposite she always strived to be like her. Brooklyn's short dark hair complemented her green eyes, just like her mother. Brooklyn wore a purple dress, fitting for Finnick's own little princess.

"Are we all ready?" Lily asked.

"Not quite, half of us are missing." Peony answered just as Ariel stepped out.

Ariel smiled with her own set of glimmering blue eyes, though her hair had faded to a light brown unlike her sister. She wore a blue-green halter dress with lovely beading, and fluffed out skirt.

"I'm ready, let's go!" Ariel smiled.

"Not so fast tiger, now we have to wait for the others." Angel took hold of her sister's hands.

"Am I late!?" The six girls heard a shout, Sage was running down the hall. Sage, was an elegant girl, always angry at people assuming she was eighteen. She had her dark almost black hair pulled back similarly to Peony's. Her dress was golden from head to toe. It brought out the brown in her hazel eyes.

"No, Sage you're good." Scarlet called out.

"Oh good." She sighed. "It's great to see you all again." She smiled. That was Sage for you so sweet you'd get a cavity just by talking to her.

"Good to see you to Sage." Lily responded.

Eva came running after her sister, "Sage are we late!?"

"No Eva."

Eva slowed down, "Then why were you screaming?" Eva laughed. She wore a simple pink dress, and only allowed her lovely straight hair to accent it.

"Because... I thought we were?" Sage blushed.

"Little sucker!" Eva laughed.

Sicily and Alexien came shoving one another down the hall, laughing and shouting all the way.

Little three-year old Sicily was no longer little. She wore a light pink dress with rosettes along the bottom, she was simply radiant with rich auburn hair and light brown eyes. She was now a grown woman like all the other children. Grown up.

Alexien had kept her confident stride with her through out the years. No longer quite so mousy, she stood tall and boisterous. She wore a black dress, with beading along the bodice. She was the only one brave enough to wear such a morbid color on such a joyous occasion.

"Hey girls" Alexien waved, "Where is little miss Luna?"

"Probably getting the sex talk from her father." Scarlet rolled her eyes, "Uncle Gale is kind of protective of her."

"She's the only girl right?"

"Right, poor kid." Peony laughed.

"I hope she hurries." Sicily laughed.

"We'll be late to our own party at this rate!" Eva giggled.

"Damn straight." Lily assured them.

"I'm ready!" Luna said exiting one of the doors, "I heard you talking about me, and I couldn't disrupt." Luna wore a silky sparkly purple gown, with a sneaky smile to match. Her silver eyes gleamed with excitement as she joined her friends.

"Lets go!" She laughed. And together the girls departed for the annual memorial ball.

There was dancing and merriment every which way. Food and laughter at every corner. Political figures made small talk and bad jokes, while the youth danced around the large hall.

Scarlet remembered her promise to Bram. She'd have to dance with Hunter at some point, and that was nerve-wracking. Scarlet had never been one to fear confrontation in fact she never thought it through. She would be the one person to waltz on up and say what ever came to mind, usually resulting in some form of back lash.

However, now she feared it, why? She did not know. She'd known him all sixteen years of her life, why should this one question make her tremble.

So she walked up to him as he sat back and watch Leif dance with Ariel. She took a deep breath and stood next to him.

"Hi Hunter." She said evenly.

"Scarlet!... How are you?"

"Fine..."

"You look beautiful." He said quickly.

"Thanks Hunter." She half smiled and looked back at her brother. "Say Hunter?"

"Hm?" Without thinking she jumped up and kissed him. What came over her? She wasn't sure, but she was thankful it did. "Wow..." Hunter gasped when she pulled away.

"I... I wanted to ask you to dance... I didn't mean to-" He kissed her just to silence her stutter.

"Yes I'll dance with you," He laughed, giddy with excitement. The girl he'd loved since the first day he'd met her, had finally kissed him. He was over the moon and couldn't come back down if he tried.

Flashing to our main conflict, Peony too nervous to move, watched as Scarlet overcame her fear. Again jealousy burned through her. Why was her baby sister so brave? Why couldn't she be that stupidly brave?

Then she spotted Bram standing with James and Lacey. His green eyes locked with hers. He gestured to the balcony, she nodded slightly.

Once outside she stood anxiously. She would finally have the chance to tell him.

"Peony... Hi..." He said smoothly walking out onto the balcony casually.

"Hi..." She smoothed down her dress.

"Listen I talked to your sister earlier today..."

"What did she tell you?" Peony asked as anger flared inside her.

"Just that I should dance with you."

"Oh" Peony said suddenly excited that he would ask her something she'd wanted for years.

"But I don't want to dance with you." He said.

"... Well fuck you then." She said without thinking.

"Huh?"

"It's just... I've just... Oh cut the crap Peony!" She scolded herself, "I've liked you for a really long time, did you know that? Have you noticed me at all!? Like seriously! I'm always lingering around you and dropping hints and listening to you, and... and helping you.

"Do you even notice me? Or am I just the scared shitless seven-year old you met fourteen years ago!?" She hadn't realized how loud her tone was until it wasn't there to fill the silence.

"Peony... I don't want to dance with you." Bram said again playfulness gleaming in his eyes, "I want to run away with you."

"Huh?"

"Peony, I want to kiss you, and love you, and hold you everyday. I don't want just one dance I want all of them."

"Well then come hold me you stupid bastard." She laughed and held open her arms. He ran straight into her arms and swung her around him bridal style. "So can I like kiss you now?"

"I think so." He laughed. So slowly she took his face in her hands, just as soft as in her dreams.

She put his forehead to hers and just felt his breath on her skin so it prickled with wanting.

"Are you going to kiss me now or can I put you down?" He laughed, though her weight was nothing to his arms.

She took his face and kissed him roughly so he lost his balance for a bit.

"They're in love." Katniss smiled from the door way, having watched her little princess finally win her prince.

"Just like us," Peeta said from behind her, kissing her jaw line softly.

"I do believe our song is coming on." Katniss turned to her husband.

"Every song is our song darling." He laughed.

"And I couldn't want it any other way love." She took him into a close hug and kissed him again.

And so you see that's how, Your parents fell in love.

* * *

_So I swear I didn't realize it was memorial weekend when I posted this until I looked at a calendar. Can you tell why this took so long? So many revisions to get it perfect! (and maybe my grandmother dying had something to do with that) One more chapter my dear darling pretty. I have two stories running as of now to replace the hole in my heart this will leave. _

_Night Terror and Precious_

_I'm super excited and I hope you are as well. We can cry together during the last part._

_So stay lovely until the next and final part!_


	42. Chapter 42

Present day

"I just love that story." Tara, Peony and Bram's oldest daughter sighed. Though only thirteen Tara, the oldest of four already developed a passion for romance and storytelling.

"I do too." Katniss said hugging her oldest grandchild.

"That was a long story Grandma." Jessalyn, the youngest of Peony and Bram's children said. At the young age of six the fourth child of the family hardly had patience much like her grandmother.

"Well each year one of you kids wants more and more of the story, and so I started from the very beginning." Katniss smiled.

"Grandma what about my mommy and daddy?" Wade, Leif and Ariel's youngest asked. Wade, was ever curious.

"Wade you know that one Grandma told us last night." Talia, Leif and Ariel's oldest, told her brother. The older of the two siblings tried to keep Wade in line but he fervently fought her just for the fun of it all.

"I wanna hear about Aunt Scarlet and Uncle Hunter more." Desmond, Peony and Bram's second oldest. Desmond was a soft-spoken observant boy, but no one dared mess with him.

"What about them sweetie?" Katniss asked.

"How she beat him in all the sports." Lucian the third child of Peony and Bram's spoke up. Lucian was the clown of the family and as Katniss's husband said frequently, 'Every family needs one.'

"Daddy doesn't like to talk about that part." Lilac giggled.

"Yeah but Mommy always brings it up." Emery laughed with her twin. The two girls may have been identical but everyone had learned from the moment they had been born, no one was to confuse them.

"Your mother is my child alright." Katniss laughed.

"Cephas, Ember what's your favorite story?" Tara asked dreamily.

"I liked the war parts with all the guns and explosions!" Cephas was the fourteen year old son of Angel and Ben, where he inherited his love for adventure no one had a clue.

"I liked it when Grandma Colonel saved Mom and Dad." Ember the twelve-year-old of Angel and Ben, said to Tara. The two girls were the best of friends, as Ember enjoyed living out the stories told by Tara.

"Grandma Colonel was awesome!" Jace, the youngest of Angel and Ben's children, jumped up and nearly trampled Jessalyn. Jace was ever energetic.

"Careful" Katniss laughed at the nine-year old as Jessalyn recovered.

"Grandma was good at getting captured wasn't she Auntie Katniss." Felix asked. Felix was the only child of Luna and Ricky, and unlike the others called Katniss his aunt instead of his grandmother. Felix had his antics, one of them was to be a black sheep, though his wool was white as snow in his family.

"Don't let her hear you say that, she just might get angry." Katniss laughed.

"Grandma never gets mad at us Grandma Katniss, she thinks it's funny." Brylee said. Brylee was the only child of Astric and Jamie. Felix and Brylee both having Johanna as a grandmother made them a bit of loose cannons but Jo enjoyed the little ones.

Gunner and Shara's two little girls Raven, the older, and Dove watched their cousins banter with their Grandma Katniss. Raven spoke up "But Grandma Jo is..."

"Grandma Jo likes to make fun of everything." Dove spoke up for her sister. The two sisters might as well have been twins, for they could finish a sentence before the other even knew the topic.

Just then Novellee, Celestia, and Magdalene, otherwise know as the troublesome trio, got up on the couch with their Grandma.

"What about our parents, Grandma Katniss?" Celestia, the most boisterous of the trio and middle child asked.

"Yeah Grandma why does Daddy call Mommy Ecstasy?" Magdalene, the youngest and most timid child chuckled.

"I'll tell you when you're older dear." Katniss said quickly.

"Grandma Katniss already told me." Novellee, the oldest and most confident, smirked, "You remember Grandma, last summer at the cabin?"

"I do dear." Katniss laughed with the other children. Finn had his hands full with three little princesses to father, but he and Exie made it through just fine in the end.

Lily and Sebastian's two children, Sapphire and Lionel tugged on Katniss's pants

"Not done." Lionel, the five-year old, said. Lionel played his cards better than Katniss ever could. A little actor he was.

"Yeah Grandma Katniss you didn't finish it." Sapphire, the said.

"Yes I did." Katniss said to the two.

"Not yet" Warren, Brooklyn and Parker's eight year old son spoke up. Warren was the sports child of the family, and word around the playground was he could get any of the girls in the second grade if he tried.

"Yeah Grandma Katniss you always end it differently." Acacia Brooklyn and Parker's second child sighed. Acacia must have been the worlds tiniest book-worm having read more books at the age of five than she knew how to count up to.

"How?" Katniss smiled as she loved hearing the children's endings.

"Well everyone fell in love, and thennnnnnnnnn." Georgiana, Sicily and Rainer's oldest started off. Georgiana was your typical seven-year old and never quite finished her sentences for reasons unknown.

"Someone fell through a wormhole and and they were from the future!" Forney, Jacob and Alexien's only son spoke up. Forney wasn't necessarily spoiled but being an only child made family gatherings much more exciting for him.

"And it turned out that they were a prince from a far away land!" Bianca, Sicily and Rainer's second and last child sprung up. Bianca tried to be like the quote on quote older kids, but all the same was still four years old and had much more time to grow up.

"And he had laser guns and had to save Auntie Scarlet from trouble." Jeremy and Raylee's second oldest, Noah added in. Noah was not much in to storytelling, but when he got a chance to say anything he took it.

"And he had to save the world from turmoil!" Jeremy and Raylee's oldest son Martin joined his brother. Martin would follow his siblings everywhere to keep them from trouble, even into little things like conversations and stories.

"But Uncle Hunter saved her first." Clea Jeremy and Raylee's only daughter said. Clea was always the levelheaded one.

"And there was a huge battle between the aliens!" Zachary, Eva and Quinton's six-year-old spoke swiftly and excitedly.

"But the Prince and all our Aunt's and Uncles saved the day!" Xandar copied his older brother, Zachary in motion.

"And our grandparents helped too." Isle, Amber and Trig's oldest daughter commented. Isle was the mother, in every game of house and in real life. She was always fair.

"Yeah them too," Mace said. As Sage and Casper's oldest of two he yanked his little sister, Jubilee, to stand with him. Mace never went into anything if Jubilee wasn't invited she was always right behind him.

"And they helped the prince to get back home." Jubilee said calmly, used to her brother's enthusiasm even though she was only five.

Casper was Harris's youngest of two sons, Christoph was his older brother. And though the two brothers got along fine they were never friends, until they had children.

"But first the Prince left something behind!" Unity, Zachary and Xandar's younger sister stood up. Unity was just a tad bit slower than some of the others her age, but no one could deny that she was simply adorable.

"He left behind a hidden sword!" Neo, the middle child of James and Lacey, told Unity. Neo was a character surely to be an actor in a few years time.

"And he said, whoever has found true love will see it." Opal, Isle's little sister sighed. Only six and a hopeless romantic already.

"And everyone, our Grandparents, our Mommies and Daddies, our Aunts and Uncles. Could see it." Saffron, Neo's older sister smiled at her grandmother. Saffron held the youngest of the bunch, her new little brother Carden who was already developing Lacey's personality, "And they all lived happily ever after."

"Maybe I should finish it." Katniss laughed.

"No." Peeta smirked standing at the door. "You all will finish it as you get older."

"Grandpa!" All of the kids crowded around him.

"Go on to your parents kids we're just about ready to go." He said giving each of them hugs and kisses before they ran by. "You ready darling?" He asked as she stood up to kiss him.

"Yep." She said as he led her from the warm confines of the living room.

"I can't believe he's been gone for a year." Peeta said.

"I'm sure he's up there with Beetee and Boggs and Chaff and they're all drinking because I'm sure you can't get hung over in heaven." Katniss chuckled.

"What if he went to hell like you said he would?" Peeta laughed.

"Well then he caught fire and died again. I'm sure that even death couldn't clean his liver in hell." She laughed.

"You're perky around death." Her husband laughed kissing her head.

"I've had a lot of practice." She told him as they entered the main hall where their children bundled up the little ones for the cold.

"Mom." Scarlet said walking over to her mother, "Can you please tell Hunter to calm down?" She asked rubbing her large pregnant stomach, "He thinks that my water will break if I walk too far. I've told him that I only went into preterm labor because of the twins but he won't believe me."

"Oh honey I couldn't even convince your father to let me walk when I was pregnant with you."

"You tried to fight a war mom this is just for Uncle Haymitch. Little Mica won't come just yet right Mica?" Scarlet's stomach rippled with the baby's kick.

"That's my grandbaby." Katniss said placing her hand over her daughter's. The little feet of a small child were dimly visible through the thick sweater its mother wore.

"Hunter said your water broke." Jo said walking over with Gale trailing close behind.

"Did he? The little-"

"Scarlet remember what I told you." Peeta warned playfully placing his own hand where the baby was kicking. "Little Mica will hear you."

"I thought you didn't know the gender." Jo laughed.

"Mica is a unisex name." Scarlet said as Johanna also felt the baby. Gale also pet his grandchild fondly, "Guys I love you, and I know you love Mica, but I am not a petting zoo, so stop touching me yeah?" She said to her family bluntly.

"I know honey, but this may be my last grandbaby." Peeta laughed kissing his daughter's head, "And you're still adorable when you're angry."

Scarlet only rolled her eyes to make the others laugh, "You are so lucky I'm not a crier like Peony was with Lucian."

"Thanks dad." She said sarcastically. The twins ran up to their mother.

"Mommy are we going?" Emery asked.

"Yeah Mommy we got ready all by ourselves." Lilac said.

"Let's go then girls." She said taking the girls to the door. The entire family made their way through the snow blankets of District Twelve. One year had passed since the oldest Victor's death.

One year since their mentor and friend had left the world. The large group of family and friends made their way to the lake, where his ashes had been spread a year ago.

The children laced up their ice skates and began to chase each other around the frozen solid lake. While the elder of them gathered in one corner of the lake.

Each of them whispering to their lost friend, though not all of them believed he could hear them, the words were for the living.

Peeta took hold of his wife's hand once everyone had parted ways to watch or join the children. Finnick chased his grandchildren down, as Annie and Jo helped Scarlet sit down in a snow bank.

Bram and Peony had snuck away to the cabin not far from the area. James and Lacey helped little Carden play with the snow. Gale and Johanna raced one another around the lake.

"It's beautiful darling." Peeta whispered into Katniss's ear.

"It's beyond any idea I could have ever had. It's perfect. All of them, our family is perfect."

"Isn't wonderful how things can become from the worst of situations?" She turned around and kissed.

"And to think it all started from an old fairy tale." Katniss laughed, "We were so young."

"Age doesn't matter, the journey does."

"I love you." She kissed him again so he would smile down at her.

"Happy New Year my love. May the next year bring many joys."

"And come what may." She said.

"We'll have another beautiful grandchild by then." He said excitedly.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Katniss laughed. "I'm sure if it's a boy he'll be just like our old mentor... I mean our friend."

"Yes, just so long as he doesn't ever get into alcohol." Katniss laughed at her husband.

"I'm sure he won't with my daughter and Gale's son raising him." It was Peeta's turn to laugh.

"You know what ever happens we have our ending right here. Our princesses have their own princesses now. So all that's left is one thing."

"You're right." Katniss said, "And they may not have always been happy, but they did have a very good ending."

"I love you." He said to her.

"As do I."

And though I presume you know what the next words to be said are, I shall say them nonetheless. As all people deserve this as their ending.

They all lived happily ever after.

_So I guess it's over... I shall use a quote now, "Now that it's over, I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my life." While an exaggeration and while I don't think piracy is in my near future, I am very proud to say that this is complete! Don't forget I have 3 works in progress._

_Scream for me which has 2 chapters before it's finished_

_Night Terror which I think is going rather well_

_And Precious which I do think is again going well. _

_Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. To the 83 favoriters and the 93 followers. For all 186 comments and for all 36,127 views and counting._

_You all stuck with me, some of you since word number one all the way to word 141,324, and all 41 chapters you know what? Combined 260 pages worth of text which is just amazing, an entire book of some well written some terribly written. But you know what I don't even care._

_You all have inspired me and for that I thank you. I hope that you've enjoyed reading as I've enjoyed giving this to all of you. I thank every one of you who has read this story, and I hope that you remember one thing._

_To always Stay Lovely my dear. _


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